Chapter 29: Conversation

Jiang Zhanwei’s few words conveyed several messages to Lu Man.

The notion of giving an explanation to their elders, seeking approval, implied that she was temporarily the rightful Third Young Madam, ensuring her safety. He assured her that he wouldn’t force her again, indicating no repetition of such acts. Their relationship was to be a contractual marriage, exempt from the traditional obligations of a married couple. With him stationed at the military camp and soon heading north, and her task being to care for her grandfather at home, they would have separate roles, ensuring minimal interference in each other’s lives.

For Lu Man, these pieces of information were undoubtedly a significant relief. The days ahead may be better than before.

As Lu Man’s cries gradually subsided, she remained silent.

Jiang Zhanwei also stayed quiet until Lu Man was on the brink of sleep, then he spoke again.

“Do you feel wronged being with me? If you do, why did you agree to marry me in the first place? Perhaps, you should have let my legitimate brothers marry you. If your family had proposed that condition, our elders would have agreed for the sake of my grandfather.”

His tone was low and emotionless, shifting all blame onto Lu Man and mocking her attempt to hang herself to elevate her status among the legitimate sons.

It seemed that what truly hurt this man the most was not marrying her original fiancée or even her suicide attempt, but his inherent helplessness and inferiority as an illegitimate son.

Lu Man wanted to retort, expressing not only her sense of injustice but also her deep hatred towards him. She found his legitimate brothers equally unappealing.

However, she refrained from speaking her mind entirely, but she needed to say a few words to prevent him from trampling on her dignity and conveniently shifting all blame onto her.

Sniffling, Lu Man spoke coldly, “You didn’t want to marry me either. Marrying me is even more of a burden for you, so much so that you left home to join the army. Isn’t that right? Marrying you was a social climb, and I never considered anyone else.”

Her muffled voice was barely audible due to the blanket covering her.

Jiang Zhanwei sneered, “If that’s the case, why hang yourself, especially in the bridal chamber?” Not receiving a response from Lu Man, he pressed, “Why no answer? Are you speechless?”

After a moment of contemplation, Lu Man responded, “Let me clarify, my suicide had nothing to do with you or the wedding. It was due to my stepmother’s malice, her relentless efforts to tarnish my reputation, and her malicious deeds that left me despondent… My suicide had nothing to do with you. I apologize for any embarrassment it may have caused you.”

The relationship between Lu Man and Jiang Zhanwei had reached a certain point where she no longer cared to leave a good impression on him, opting for honesty. Though her reason wasn’t ideal, as it targeted her malicious stepmother, it was still better than damaging his self-esteem. Lu Man realized that this man was no ordinary person – his cold arrogance matched his deep-seated insecurity, and his restraint was intertwined with arrogance. Moreover, if she managed to survive, she would inevitably confront the Mrs. Xiao Chen to seek justice for the former Lu Man.

Jiang Zhanwei was surprised by Lu Man’s revelation regarding her suicide and shocked that she had the audacity to speak such bold words. Despite the stepmother’s cruelty, she was still an elder. Moreover, any repercussions from her actions would extend beyond just her stepmother.

Glancing at the figure wrapped tightly in the blanket, he noted Lu Man’s frankness and boldness in openly confronting him and the elders with such ruthless words.

With a wry smile, he asked, “Why not die again? If you truly don’t want to live, you can always end it. Once you’re gone, my grandmother and uncles will surely deal with your stepmother, along with other members of the Lu family, fulfilling your wish.”

He voiced the unspoken thoughts of the former Lu Man.

Infuriated by his remarks, Lu Man retorted, “After experiencing death once, I have no desire to die again. I’ve come to terms with it. Why punish yourself for someone else’s mistakes? I’ll never do such foolish things again.” Emerging from the covers, she glared at Jiang Zhanwei and continued, “At least I am straightforward. I may not have the power to retaliate against those who harm me, but I dare to resist with my own life. What about you? A man of honor who lacks the courage to openly oppose the elders, disregarding your marriage and dignity, channeling all your resentment toward a fellow victim, a vulnerable woman. So, don’t consider yourself noble, don’t shift all the blame onto me. I don’t accept your accusations!”

With that, she turned away, laying her head on the pillow, refusing to engage further.

Lu Man’s words left Jiang Zhanwei speechless and infuriated.

Deep down, he couldn’t deny the truth in Lu Man’s words. Despite his inner turmoil and resentment at being forced to marry her, he had never openly opposed the elders’ decisions. He had always followed their orders, even when he disagreed. Even leaving home was an excuse to escape using her as a scapegoat. He couldn’t match even a woman in terms of courage and integrity.

Struggling with his pride, he could only utter coldly, “A woman who lacks filial piety at home and respect for her husband after marriage should study ‘Admonitions for Women’.”

Lu Man ignored him, finding the “textbook” behavior disturbing and deeming this man even more twisted.

Jiang Zhanwei turned to gaze at Lu Man’s back for a while. She lay still, appearing almost asleep.

Her thick black hair scattered on the pillow, her face hidden. However, the image of her swollen eyes lingered in his mind. Her delicate and fragile body tightly wrapped in the bedsheet, as if guarding against further harm.

Despite his disdain for her, he couldn’t deny that she was not what the rumors made her out to be.

She spoke sparingly, and her accusations left him speechless. Particularly, the phrase “Why punish yourself for someone else’s mistakes” struck a chord. Over the years, he realized he had indeed made many foolish decisions, punishing himself for the mistakes of others.

She possessed a unique charm that should have been admirable. Her calm gaze hinted at rationality. Her well-reasoned arguments depicted meticulousness. Being adept at massaging patients after reading medical books, articulating medical principles convincingly enough to impress imperial physicians and his grandmother showcased her intelligence.

Yet, she had acquired a reputation for being sharp-tongued and foolish, engaging in self-destructive behavior such as attempting suicide. While her bad reputation might have been influenced by her stepmother, the act of hanging herself was her own doing. Despite the embarrassing act, she had the audacity to seek forgiveness from the elders. She boldly spoke of immorality, a topic others dared not mention. One moment she wept bitterly, the next she confronted him with a calm demeanor.