Chapter 35: My Mom Won’t Let Me Talk to Men Who Eat Shit

Shen Junzai was embarrassed and, with a sullen face, stomped forward.

“What nonsense are you talking about!”

Before he could finish, a lump of bird poop landed on his face.

He touched it, feeling disgusted, and yelled angrily at the large bird.

“Beast, see if I don’t kill you!”

The bird hopped around on the tree branch and responded with another poop.

Yao Yao covered her mouth, thinking that this bird really produces a lot of poop.

Only Nao Nao poked Yuan Jilin, whispering, “Wasn’t your dad constipated?”

“Yeah, so what?” Yuan Jilin replied.

Nao Nao pointed at the bird, “I think your dad could ask it for some tips. Look how smoothly it’s pooping.”

Yuan Jilin thought it made sense, and when he turned around, he met Yuan Jin’s deathly stare.

Better stay quiet, he thought, or he wouldn’t last long.

Shen Junzai still had bird poop on his face. Furiously, he cursed the bird on the tree and shouted for Fu Xijin to shoot it down with a crossbow.

Fu Xijin ignored him, and Shen Junzai turned to look at Yue Su.

“Let me borrow your crossbow!”

Yue Su glared at him. “My mom won’t let me talk to men who eat shit.”

Shen Junzai: “I didn’t eat shit!”

“Then why are you so full of yourself? I don’t think we’re close enough for that. Use your brain, you’re not a genius,” Yue Su said, quickly picking up her backpack from the ground, resolute not to give Shen Junzai any chance.

Shen Junzai’s face twisted. He didn’t dare provoke Fu Xijin, so he turned to Yue Su.

“I’ll pay! I’ll give you money, is that okay?”

Yue Su paused, considering. “Well, it’s not impossible.”

She held up one finger. “For this price, one shot. No more than ten minutes.”

Shen Junzai immediately agreed, “Deal. I’ll buy two shots, two hundred, right? I’ll transfer it to you!”

Yue Su scoffed, “You’re ugly and delusional. One thousand per shot!”

Shen Junzai nearly choked.

“Go rob a bank then! One thousand, am I giving you face or what?”

Yue Su gave him a sidelong glance. “Why are you so irritable? Are you about to die? The price is marked. If you don’t want to buy it, then forget it.”

Shen Junzai gritted his teeth, the big bird still taunting him from the tree.

He couldn’t swallow his anger. If he didn’t bring it down today for a barbecue, he would never be named Shen again!

“Fine, I’ll buy!”

Yue Su had him transfer the money.

When Shen Junzai checked the balance, there was only 550 left—far from enough.

He looked at Jiang Wanting. “How much do you have? Lend me some.”

Jiang Wanting declined. “I only have one hundred left.”

Shen Junzai reluctantly borrowed 450 from the production team and gave all the money to Yue Su, ending up in the red.

Yue Su tossed him the crossbow and started the timer.

Shen Junzai took the crossbow, but the bird on the tree flapped its wings and flew away.

“…”

The air suddenly became silent. A feather gently floated down and landed on Shen Junzai’s head.

“Ahhh!!! I’m going to kill you!” Shen Junzai howled.

He went mad, kicking the nearby tree.

Yue Su looked up and suddenly saw something fall from the sky.

She hurriedly backed away, instinctively looking for Yao Yao.

“Yue Su, watch out!” Yi Xia shouted, watching the round, hard object about to crash onto Yue Su’s head.

Yue Su’s face changed slightly as a strong, solid force gripped her arm, pulling her backward.

She collided with something behind her, surrounded by the faint scent of pine.

The large object shot past her, swatted away by Fu Xijin, and, under the force, veered off in another direction.

Bang!

It hit Shen Junzai squarely in the crotch.

“Ahhh!!!”

Shen Junzai clutched his private area, letting out a pig-like scream, rolling on the ground.

Yue Su stared, stunned. “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.”

Everyone went silent. Yuan Jin clutched his legs tightly, trembling in fear, glad it wasn’t him who got hit.

【Emmm, I can feel Shen Junzai’s pain through the screen!】

【The worst is when the air suddenly goes quiet…】

【But, honestly, that was so funny, hahahaha.】

【Press 1 to pray for me, I think I laughed myself to death.】

Jiang Wanting covered her face, unsure how to react.

Should she go up and help? A wound in that area would be difficult to tend to. But if she didn’t, she’d seem heartless.

Fortunately, Yi Xia spoke first. “Yuan Lao, please go check on him. I’ll contact the production team and arrange for people to take Shen Junzai to the medical room.”

Yuan Jin quickly stepped forward to help Shen Junzai.

“Mr. Shen, are you okay?”

Shen Junzai’s eyes were bloodshot and bulging, his rage almost causing his eyeballs to pop out.

He trembled, pointing at Yue Su.

“You… you…”

Yue Su was startled, instinctively retreating behind Fu Xijin.

“Mr. Shen, that thing wasn’t me who hit it. Why are you always looking for trouble with me? If you’re upset, take it up with the bird!”

Fu Xijin turned and gave her a cold glance.

Little fox.

Yue Su wasn’t the least bit guilty. She hadn’t said anything wrong.

Jiang Wanting turned her head just in time to catch the fleeting glance between them and felt a subtle ache in her heart.

When the heavy object fell, she had seen the momentary panic on Fu Xijin’s face.

He was afraid, afraid that Yue Su might get hurt.

Without caring for his own safety, he had instinctively reached out to protect her.

In that instant, all of Fu Xijin’s pretense had melted away.

Shen Junzai was eventually carried off, and Jiang Wanting, feeling heavy-hearted, had no interest in continuing to pick grapes. She followed along.

Once they left, the atmosphere became heavy.

Yue Su, unfazed, picked up the scissors and continued harvesting grapes.

Yi Xia cleared his throat and said, “Mr. Shen is injured. Wan Ting went to look after him. After the production team finishes collecting the grapes, let’s give them a portion.”

No one objected.

Picking grapes was tedious and boring, but Yue Su liked doing it.

It was like how she could spend an entire day on the terrace plucking dead leaves from her plants.

【Watching Yue Su work is a real pleasure.】

【Her hands are so beautiful, delicate and soft.】

【Help, what window did God close on this woman?】

【I wish Yue Su would go mushroom picking next! I love watching her!】

【Did anyone notice that Fu Xijin saved Yue Su earlier? I’m back here looking for sugar in the glass shards.】

【CP fans, calm down. Can’t Yue Su just be beautiful on her own? Why does she have to be entangled with a married man?】

Hours passed, and they finished harvesting the grapes.

Yue Su put down the scissors and stretched her aching wrist.

“Is this enough? There’s no way we can eat all this, and it’s too hot to keep the fruit.”

Yi Xia nodded. “It’s enough. Let’s head back.”

Yue Su didn’t forget her promise to take them mushroom picking. With the crossbow on her back, she excitedly set off.

“Yi Laoshi, you and Yao Yao pick mushrooms. I’ll go hunting!”

Fu Xijin chuckled.

Yue Su rolled her eyes, ignoring him.

Yi Xia couldn’t help but laugh. “Everyone has to start somewhere. With more practice, who knows, you might hit something.”

Yue Su was already familiar with the area, knowing where to find the mushrooms.

After handing over the wild grapes to the crew, she led them to pick mushrooms.

“There are a lot of wild mushrooms here, but not all are edible. This one, the bare cap, has hallucinogenic properties. And this one, the death cap, is highly toxic…”

Yue Su pointed out some common varieties. “We’ll just pick these.”

Yi Xia nodded. “With Yuan Lao here, I won’t pick the wrong ones. Go ahead and hunt.”

“Alright, Yao Yao, let’s go!” Yue Su patted Yao Yao’s head.

The mother and daughter set off in the opposite direction, exploring further.

Yao Yao skipped along, picking wildflowers and humming a little tune.

“Dragon horse, hooves facing west, knocking down Tang Sanzang, crushing his three disciples, taking the scriptures from the West is no easy task, in the end, it’s just him left~”

“…”