Chapter 14: Ten Years Old – Gardenias Bloom

Xuezhu’s hair didn’t grow back to its original length the next day as she had hoped.

She decided that she wouldn’t look in the mirror again until her hair grew out.

It was easier to deceive herself than to look at the new haircut and feel sad.

Every night before bed, she would silently pray to all the gods she could name, like ^[1]如来佛祖 (Rúlái Fózǔ) – Tathāgata Buddha, also known simply as the Buddha. This refers to Shakyamuni Buddha, the founder of Buddhism in traditional Chinese culture. 玉皇大帝 (Yùhuáng … Continue readingBuddha, the Jade Emperor, and Guanyin, hoping that her hair would grow long again soon.

Xuezhu thought and thought, and she kept thinking until the summer vacation ended.

On the day she left Grandpa’s house, Grandpa and Grandma saw her off at the bus station. After Xuezhu got on the bus, she found a window seat, knelt on her seat, stuck her head out the window, and waved desperately at Grandpa and Grandma, shouting, “Goodbye, Grandpa and Grandma, I’ll come back next time during the holidays!”

Grandma reminded her, “Make sure you eat more at home, and listen to your parents, okay? Be careful with the eggs, don’t break them. Also, eat those vegetables with your mom quickly, they won’t be fresh after a few days.”

“I know,” Xuezhu replied.

When it was Grandpa’s turn to give advice, the old man said briefly, “Next year you’ll be in fourth grade. Do your best.”

“I know,” Xuezhu responded.

“Goodbye, Grandpa and Grandma.”

“Mm, goodbye, Xiao Zhu.”

The bus started, and Xiao Zhu withdrew her hand. Grandpa and Grandma stood in place, watching as the car emitted a puff of dark exhaust and slowly drove away.

Xiao Zhu staggered to the back window, holding on to the seat, and saw Grandpa and Grandma still standing there.

She waved her hand desperately.

Even though she knew she’d see them again during the next holiday, she still felt a bit sad.

Even though it was just a small parting, it still made her feel reluctant.

“Xiao Zhu, sit properly,” Meng Yuning called, urging her to sit back down.

Xuezhu quickly sat back down. She got motion sickness and found a comfortable spot on Meng Yuning’s shoulder, planning to take a nap.

Meng Yuning pinched her cheek, silently accepting her actions.

—

When Xuezhu returned from Grandpa’s house, she had expected her parents to sympathize with her silly new haircut. However, these cold-hearted parents didn’t think the haircut looked bad at all.

“It looks great, this hairstyle suits a little girl,” Pei Lianyi said.

Even Song Yanping, with normal aesthetic sense, said, “Grandma cut it very neatly.”

Xuezhu couldn’t believe it and ran to the mirror to check.

Her short bangs had already grown, just long enough to reach her eyebrows. They didn’t cover her eyes, and her face looked even more youthful.

Her hair had grown just enough to reach her shoulders, no longer resembling a pot lid, and the ends were slightly curled inward.

It seemed quite nice, actually.

She hadn’t even realized her hair had grown so long.

Xuezhu felt a bit resentful toward Meng Yuning.

Her hair had clearly grown, and yet her brother, who saw her every day, never mentioned it.

He had made her avoid looking in the mirror throughout the summer.

At dinner that evening, Xuezhu expressed her dissatisfaction to Meng Yuning.

Meng Yuning, however, seemed a bit innocent.

“It’s because I see you every day that I didn’t notice your hair had grown,” he explained.

Xuezhu thought it was just an excuse, but both her parents agreed with Meng Yuning’s explanation.

“Yes, when you see something every day, you don’t notice the changes. But if you don’t see it for a while, the difference becomes obvious,” Pei Lianyi said. “If Ningning didn’t see you for a long time and suddenly saw you, he would definitely notice you look different.”

Xuezhu didn’t understand. “Why is that?”

Pei Lianyi explained, “People change, especially kids like you who are still growing. You grow every day. Your mom and I used to see you every day, and we’d measure your height every month to see if you’d grown. Now that we haven’t seen you for two months, as soon as you come back, we can tell you’ve grown taller. If you don’t believe me, we can measure it later.”

Xuezhu nodded, glanced at her dad’s belly, and deduced, “If we haven’t seen each other for two months, then Dad, your belly seems a bit bigger.”

Pei Lianyi: “…”

Song Yanping laughed aloud. “Did you see that? I told you not to drink at night, now it’s coming back to bite you.”

“No, Xiao Zhu is just talking nonsense,” Pei Lianyi said, shamelessly denying it. “We were talking about kids growing taller. What does my belly have to do with it?”

“You won’t admit it, huh? Wait until you get high blood pressure and I’ll see if you still don’t pay attention to your health,” Song Yanping said, thoughtfully putting a piece of vegetable in her husband’s bowl. “You should eat less spicy and oily foods and more vegetables.”

“I’m an adult, do I really need you to remind me?” Pei Lianyi retorted, dismissing his wife’s nagging. “After dinner, Ningning and Xiao Zhu should both measure their height. I think you both have grown quite a bit.”

Pei Lianyi was right. They had both grown taller.

The new measurements were recorded with the new date.

“2005.8.30”

“Almost 1.8 meters, Ningning, just a little more effort,” Song Yanping said.

“1.8 meters? Doesn’t that make him taller than Dad?” Xuezhu glanced at her brother and then at her father, pursing her lips. “Dad, you’re so short. Even Ningning is taller than you.”

Pei Lianyi was momentarily speechless, but quickly shot back, “The shortest in the family still has the nerve to talk about me.”

Xuezhu huffed in defiance.

Father and daughter exchanged sharp words, while Song Yanping let them argue and softly said to Meng Yuning, “Ningning, go home, take a bath, and get some sleep. You’ll be a high schooler soon. Work hard.”

Meng Yuning nodded obediently. “Mm.”

Returning to his own home, the absence of Xuezhu and Uncle Pei’s bickering left the place quiet, but it also felt somewhat lonely.

After taking a shower, Meng Yuning thought about telling his father that he wanted new clothes. He specifically put on his headphones and listened to music on his MP3 player before going to bed. As he drifted off, barely able to make out the lyrics, he finally heard some noise at the door.

Meng Yuning pulled the blanket aside.

His father’s voice didn’t come as expected. Instead, it was a woman’s voice.

“Hey, where’s your son? He hasn’t come back yet?”

Then came his father’s voice.

“He’s back, he should be asleep by now.”

“Then what’s the point of this? Why don’t we go to a hotel outside?”

“Do you have money? You’re going to a hotel just to sleep?” Meng Yuning’s father said impatiently. “When he starts school, I’ll send him to a boarding school, so we don’t have to trouble Uncle Pei to cook for him every day.”

“Boarding school? You don’t even watch him, aren’t you afraid your son will go bad at school?”

“I’ve never really watched over him.”

Meng Yuning lost interest in listening. He put the headphones back on, turned the volume up, and let the music in his ears drown out the conversation between his father and the strange woman.

When his parents were going through their divorce, Meng Yuning had just inherited a house from his late father. Compared to his mother, who worked at a factory and lived in a cramped dormitory, his father clearly had the financial means to raise him. If his father chose to inherit the house, he would have to take care of Meng Yuning.

At that time, they had argued in the living room, and Meng Yuning had done the same thing. He locked himself in his room, borrowed a tape recorder from a classmate, and turned the volume up to the maximum.

Although he couldn’t sleep, it was still better than hearing their argument.

—

The events of that night, Meng Yuning dismissed as if he hadn’t heard anything when he woke up.

It wasn’t until before school started that his father initiated a conversation with him.

The father and son sat on the sofa. The TV was on, showing a variety show on a satellite channel, with celebrities playing games and laughing.

The living room was silent. A few minutes passed, and his father didn’t say anything.

It was Meng Yuning who broke the silence first. “I want to go to a boarding school for high school.”

His father’s eyes widened. “You—”

“High school will be stressful, and living at school will save time.”

“…” Meng Yuning’s father swallowed, his expression visibly relaxed. He nodded and said, “Alright, it’s up to you.”

“Then I’ll go back to my room and pack.”

He had just gotten up when his father called him back. Meng Yuning paused, quietly watching his father. His father looked into his son’s clear eyes, and his tone suddenly became more ambiguous. “In a few days, I’ll take you to meet an aunt.”

Meng Yuning nodded. “Okay.”

His answer was very blunt, and Old Meng thought his son didn’t understand the implication of him introducing him to the aunt. He then awkwardly added, “I’m seeing someone, she’s from our factory. Her name is Xu Qin.”

“Mm.” Meng Yuning replied.

His son accepted it too quickly, something Old Meng didn’t expect.

“Don’t you have any questions for me?”

In response to his father’s new relationship, Meng Yuning didn’t show any happiness or anger, nor did he display any emotional reaction, as if nothing about his father’s life concerned him.

“No.”

Old Meng had never really cared whether he and his son were close. He didn’t like the clingy father-son dynamic. His son was quiet and reserved, and it seemed he didn’t care much about his role as a father either.

He had thought it was due to his son’s personality, until these past few years.

At Uncle Pei’s house next door, Meng Yuning would smile. He could also act like a normal teenage boy.

“So your father’s dating, and this is your attitude?” Old Meng couldn’t help but raise his voice, “When I get married, that aunt will be your mother, and you’ll have to call her ‘Mom,’ do you understand?”

“Yes.”

Still, he spoke in short, curt responses, as if even saying a few more words to his father was too much.

Old Meng waved his hand, “Fine, you can go back to your room.”

“Mm.”

Meng Yuning glanced at the clock on the wall—two minutes.

This brief conversation lasted only two minutes before it came to an abrupt end.

At home, the living room, where he shared space with his father, was not a sanctuary. Only when he closed his bedroom door and was alone could he truly relax his emotions.

The brief moments of warmth they’d once shared seemed to have been forgotten by both.

—

August passed just like that.

September arrived.

On the first day of school, Xuezhu excitedly ran to Meng Yuning’s house, planning to go to the registration with him.

As soon as she entered Meng Yuning’s room, she saw that the neat bed sheets were covered with clothes and pants in a messy pile.

There was a large duffel bag on the floor.

“School’s starting soon, Ningning, are you still going on a trip?” Xuezhu asked, confused.

Meng Yuning was folding clothes while replying, “These are the clothes I’m taking to school.”

Xuezhu still didn’t understand: “School? Why do you need to bring clothes to school?”

Meng Yuning: “I’ll be boarding when school starts, living at the school.”

Xuezhu’s mind went blank for a few seconds, and she asked in a dazed tone: “Aren’t you going to live at home?”

“No.”

“…Why? Sister Yueyue also came home every day when she was in high school. She only stopped living at home after going to college,” Xuezhu quickly asked.

Sister Yueyue was also packing her things, but that was because she got into college, and for Xuezhu, getting into college meant not living at home. Sister Yueyue had promised Xuezhu that she would come back to play with her whenever there was a break.

Meng Yuning didn’t stop folding his clothes.

“You don’t understand.”

“How do you know I don’t understand if you don’t explain it to me?”

Xuezhu said, sounding a little aggressive.

But her fierce attitude didn’t last long.

Soon, she gave in and asked, “Can’t you live at home?”

Meng Yuning said: “I’ll come home on weekends.”

Xuezhu knew there was no room for negotiation and simply said, “Oh.”

She fell silent. Meng Yuning stopped what he was doing and gently asked, “Are you upset?”

“No.”

“Then why are your eyes red?”

“…You’re seeing things.”

Xuezhu turned her back, her shoulders shaking more and more.

Meng Yuning grabbed a tissue, walked over, and squatted in front of her. Through the tissue, he pinched her nose and said, “Blow hard.”

Xuezhu frowned and snorted loudly through her nose.

“Poof—”

A loud sound of a runny nose bubbled up, and she felt a little embarrassed.

Meng Yuning rolled the tissue up and threw it in the trash.

He then took out his MP3, put one earphone in her ear, and the other in his own. The white earphone wire connected their ears.

Xuezhu quieted down, turned her head, and looked at Meng Yuning.

Before she could take in his delicate features, he smiled and asked in a clean voice, “Do you like this song?”

Xuezhu nodded.

This was a song that was played on the school’s PA system when Meng Yuning graduated from middle school. He thought it sounded good, so on the eve of graduation, he downloaded it for the last time in the computer room.

For the first day of school, Xuezhu specially wore a little white dress.

The hem of the dress looked like a gardenia in full bloom.

The season when gardenias bloom passes quickly, like time flowing by.

After listening to the song, Meng Yuning continued packing his luggage, and Xuezhu actively helped, packing for him.

In the small room, Meng Yuning’s luggage and old books were scattered everywhere.

On the desk were bundles of books tied up with plastic string. The uncle who collects recyclables would come later to weigh the books and take them away. Xuezhu casually flipped through them, but the contents were too difficult for her to understand, so she just looked at something else.

“You didn’t wrap your books, but why are they still so new?”

Xuezhu glanced at the pages, and they were still flat, without any dog-eared edges. She couldn’t do that, but she wasn’t too bad—some boys in her class didn’t like wrapping their books. After half a semester, the brand-new books turned into dried-up, wilted vegetables.

So Xuezhu always wrapped her books. She really liked buying the plastic book covers from the school shop. They came in small sizes for 50 cents and large sizes for one yuan, with various cartoon designs printed on them. Wrapping her textbooks with these made the boring Chinese and math books look cute.

But her dad said plastic book covers weren’t environmentally friendly. Every time a new set of books was handed out, before Xuezhu could buy new book covers, her dad would use old calendars at home to make them for her.

Her dad was very skillful. Even though the calendars were ugly, the book covers he made were neat and thick.

“If you take good care of them, you won’t need book covers,” Meng Yuning said.

Xuezhu nodded. “Then I won’t use a book cover this semester.”

“You should still use one,” Meng Yuning looked at her, his tone unusually serious, “Otherwise, your books will get ruined.”

Xuezhu frowned. “Are you looking down on me? I said I don’t need it, so I won’t use one.”

She was very determined.

Later, Xuezhu really refused her dad’s offer to wrap her books, and sure enough, after only half a month of school, her books got dirty. Finally, her mom couldn’t stand it and said, “How can a girl’s books get this dirty?” and had her dad wrap Xuezhu’s books again.

Xuezhu wanted to learn how to wrap books herself. After she learned, she wrapped up all the magazines at home.

Once all the magazines were wrapped, she still wasn’t satisfied and set her sights on Meng Yuning’s high school textbooks.

So Meng Yuning became the only freshman who still used ugly calendar book covers in high school.

His name was written on the book cover, making it impossible not to recognize it.

At a glance, it was obvious that this child hadn’t practiced his handwriting well. He wrote his name in big letters, afraid that if the book was lost, no one would know it belonged to Meng Yuning.

He had written his name as “Meng Shan and Ning.”

Once, during an experiment class, the chemistry book was left in the lab. The duty teacher, holding the book, asked, “Who knows the student from Class 2, Meng Shan and Ning? His book was left in the lab during the last class.”

Fortunately, the students who had class in the lab that period were from Zhong Zihan’s class.

Zhong Zihan, holding back laughter, raised his hand. “Teacher, I know him.”