Chapter 019

Since Zhenzhen couldn’t get out of bed, Shi Huaiming brought her meal into the room.

After she finished eating, he came in to clear the dishes and told her, “Let’s not study anything new tonight. Just rest.”

“Okay.” Zhenzhen nodded from her place against the headboard.

Once he left with the dishes, she lay back and closed her eyes for a short nap.

The hot ginger-brown sugar tea and a proper meal had restored some strength, and she felt a lot more comfortable.

After resting a while, she got up, grabbed a change of clothes, and went to the bathroom to freshen up.

She washed her face, changed into clean clothes and a fresh sanitary pad.

She didn’t leave her soiled clothes lying around either—she gave them a quick wash.

With her body clean, she felt emotionally better too. She returned to her room and lay back down.

She stayed cautious while lying there, worried about leaking onto the bed.

To prevent that, she had lined the bed with plenty of tissue paper.

The pain in her lower abdomen gradually subsided.

Once the pain faded, she relaxed and soon drifted off to sleep.

Luckily, the worst of the cramps only lasted half a day.

By the next morning, the pain was gone.

The only lingering sensation was a heavy, sluggish feeling in her body, making her reluctant to move.

Since they hadn’t studied anything new last night and there was no task scheduled for the morning, Zhenzhen allowed herself a bit of a break.

After breakfast, with nothing in particular to do, Wu Dafeng came by to check on Zhenzhen. Seeing that Zhenzhen wasn’t busy, she stayed to chat for a while.

The two of them brought out small stools and sat in front of the house, basking in the sun.

Dabai came bounding over, wanting Zhenzhen to play with it. Since she couldn’t, it ran around by itself for a bit. When it got tired, it lay down at Zhenzhen’s feet, tongue out and tail wagging.

Talking about what happened yesterday evening, Wu Dafeng said, “Changing environments suddenly really does have an effect. Mine’s off too.”

Zhenzhen recalled last night. “I was in so much pain I thought I was going to die. I couldn’t even stand up by the roadside.”

It was Li Shuang who pushed her back home on a bicycle.

Wu Dafeng commented, “Well, in that case, Li Shuang doesn’t seem so bad.”

Zhenzhen followed up, “She’s always been pretty decent.”

Wu Dafeng was curious. “Then why were you upset with her? You two haven’t talked in a while, right?”

Zhenzhen went quiet for a moment, then told Wu Dafeng the reason: “That day, when I found out she was pregnant and saw how badly she was vomiting, I made her a pot of crucian carp and tofu soup and brought her a bowl. Then I went to the provisions store and accidentally overheard her telling someone that she never saw me as a friend. She said that if it weren’t for Third Brother’s sake, she wouldn’t even bother talking to me.”

Wu Dafeng immediately cut in, “Well, that’s what she really thinks!”

Zhenzhen held her breath slightly. “Hearing that really stung. I felt like a fool. I treated her like a real friend—she was the first friend I made here—and in the end…”

Wu Dafeng said, “I told you before, she looks down on people like us.”

Zhenzhen thought for a moment. “But when she came to your house for dinner that time, I don’t think she meant to throw up at the table.”

Wu Dafeng was candid. “I know. But I already had a bias against her. I never liked her to begin with. Even knowing it wasn’t on purpose, it still rubbed me the wrong way. That said, now I don’t find her so unpleasant anymore.”

Zhenzhen smiled and added, “Actually, when I think about it, I get it. We’re just country folks—uneducated, inexperienced, clueless. We’re not the same kind of people. If our husbands weren’t brothers, why would she bother spending time with us? We have nothing in common, and it doesn’t benefit her in any way.”

Wu Dafeng looked at Zhenzhen and said, “Well, you’ve got quite the mature perspective.”

Zhenzhen sat up straight and took a deep breath. “I want to improve myself. Only by becoming better can I earn respect.”

Wu Dafeng smiled at her. “You really are like a kid.”

Then she added, “We’re all married now. The important thing is to take care of our husbands, raise the kids, and live a decent life. Everything else is just noise. Right now, your top priority should be to give Shi Huaiming a baby—preferably a few sons. You get it?”

Before coming to the city, both her sisters-in-law had said the same thing: Have a child quickly, preferably a boy, and use that child to tie Shi Huaiming down. That way, your future is secure.

But now, Zhenzhen realized that having a child couldn’t solve anything.

Shi Huaiming wasn’t going to fall for her just because she had his child. Just look at Old Zhou and Wu Dafeng.

And most importantly—she couldn’t even have children with Shi Huaiming.

In a situation where a child is supposed to “tie him down,” Shi Huaiming wouldn’t even sleep with her, let alone try to have a baby.

Besides, after seeing so many kinds of people and the differences between them, her focus had shifted away from that entirely.

Especially after what Li Shuang said, which pierced her already sensitive and insecure heart—she was more determined than ever to improve herself.

That pain, that pressure—

It had all become motivation for her to strive forward.

Zhenzhen didn’t talk more with Wu Dafeng about having children. She brushed it off and changed the subject.

She helped Wu Dafeng with some sewing—finishing the edges on the cut and pre-pasted shoe uppers—chatting as they worked.

Then, suddenly, Zhenzhen remembered something.

She put the shoe uppers back into the basket and stood up. “Sister-in-law, I need to go to the provisions store.”

Wu Dafeng tilted her head to look at her. “You’re going shopping again?”

As she spoke, she also put down her needlework and stood up. “I have a few things I need to get too. I’ll go with you.”

Zhenzhen took her stool inside and made a quick trip to the bathroom.

Wu Dafeng went home, put away her sewing basket, grabbed some money and ration tickets, and came back out to go with Zhenzhen.

It wasn’t convenient for Zhenzhen to ride a bike during this time of the month, so the two walked together.

At the provisions store, they stepped inside, and Zhenzhen greeted Awen with a smile.

Awen smiled back. “Here to do some shopping?”

Zhenzhen nodded. “Yep.”

Just as she finished greeting her, she turned her head—and saw Li Shuang.

Their eyes met, and Zhenzhen gave a small smile and said first, “Sister Li Shuang, I’m here to pick up a few things.”

Li Shuang was slightly surprised, then smiled and replied, “Go ahead.”

Zhenzhen walked over to the meat counter.

Awen leaned toward Li Shuang, whispering curiously, “Why’s she suddenly talking to you again?”

Li Shuang whispered back, “Because I’m irresistibly charming.”

Awen rolled her eyes. “Tch…”

After shopping at the provisions store, Zhenzhen didn’t stop to chat with Wu Dafeng again. She went straight home to prepare lunch.

Wu Dafeng, seeing it was still early, didn’t rush either. She pulled some fresh greens from her vegetable plot and brought a big handful to Zhenzhen.

Zhenzhen, wearing an apron, was busy cooking in the kitchen.

She cleaned the pork ribs she’d just bought, blanched them to remove scum, then stir-fried them with oil, scallions, and ginger until fragrant.

Once the aroma came out, she added half a pot of hot water, poured everything into a clay pot, and simmered it on low heat.

When the soup was nearly done, she added tender corn and carrots.

With the rib soup finished and the rice steamed, she gave the leafy greens from Wu Dafeng a quick stir-fry.

By the time everything was ready, it was nearly lunchtime.

Zhenzhen kept watch through the window.

When she saw Li Shuang return with her meal, Zhenzhen went back into the kitchen, took out a large soup bowl from the cupboard, ladled some rib soup from the clay pot, and carried it to Li Shuang’s house.

Then she knocked on the door.

Li Shuang opened the door and paused instinctively when she saw Zhenzhen.

But she quickly smiled and asked, “What’s up?”

Zhenzhen held out the bowl of pork rib soup in her hands. “Sister-in-law, I made a big pot of rib soup—enough to fill the whole clay pot. I brought you some to thank you for last night.”

Li Shuang looked at Zhenzhen, then at the soup she was holding.

She didn’t turn it down. Instead, she reached out and took the bowl. As she turned back inside, she said, “Wait a moment.”

Zhenzhen stood quietly outside the door and didn’t leave.

Li Shuang came back out a moment later, now holding a can of food.

She handed it to Zhenzhen with a smile. “It’s canned beef—really tasty.”

Zhenzhen glanced at the can and accepted it without hesitation.

She smiled as well. “Thanks, sister-in-law.”

There was still a trace of awkwardness between them.

Just then, Shi Huaiming and He Shuo returned, with He Ziran running along beside them.

With the sudden activity, neither woman said much more. Zhenzhen quickly added, “Sister-in-law, I’m heading home for lunch.”

Li Shuang responded, “Go on.”

He Shuo and Shi Huaiming also went their separate ways and headed home.

After closing the door, He Shuo asked, “You and Xiaomianhua patched things up?”

Li Shuang took He Ziran to wash his hands in the kitchen and answered lightly, “I guess you could say that.”

He Shuo said, “It’s better to be on good terms.”

Next door—

Shi Huaiming asked Zhenzhen the same thing.

Zhenzhen thought for a moment and replied, “I guess we’ve made up.”

That was good.

Shi Huaiming then asked, “How are you feeling today?”

Zhenzhen answered, “Much better. I should be fine for class later.”

Shi Huaiming nodded. “Good.”

Over the next three days, Zhenzhen’s stomach pain didn’t return with that unbearable intensity—it only hurt occasionally.

After four or five days, it was completely over. Her body felt clean again, and the heavy fatigue had lifted.

Things between her and Li Shuang gradually returned to normal.

On Sunday, their day off—

After breakfast, Zhenzhen was called over by Wu Dafeng, so she went to her house to help tend the vegetable garden.

A lot of the vegetables had already grown up. In a little while, there would be plenty ready to eat.

As Wu Dafeng pulled up some greens, she said, “I’ve been thinking about buying a few chicks to raise. Every time I want an egg, I have to go to the food store and pay for it. If I raise a few hens, I’ll have all the eggs I want.”

Zhenzhen understood that sense of thrift and said in support, “Sounds like a good idea.”

Wu Dafeng scowled. “But Old Zhou won’t let me. He says this isn’t the countryside and that it’s embarrassing. Says raising chickens will make the yard stink and no one will be able to live here. I don’t know what he’s being so uppity about—people raise chickens in their own yards back home, and it doesn’t stink anyone to death. We’ve argued about this so many times. You know what he said? If I buy chicks, he’ll stomp them to death!”

Just as Wu Dafeng finished venting, and before Zhenzhen could respond, they heard someone calling her.

It was Li Shuang’s voice—Zhenzhen could recognize it anywhere. And in this courtyard, only Li Shuang called her “Xiaomianhua.”

Zhenzhen straightened up in the vegetable plot and turned around to see Li Shuang waving at her. She quickly jogged over.

Li Shuang asked, “Want to go out to dinner with me and Awen tonight?”

Zhenzhen was a little surprised. “Me?”

Li Shuang nodded. “Yeah. You don’t have to pay.”

Zhenzhen hesitated. “Maybe I should ask Third Brother first.”

Li Shuang said directly, “Why ask him? Just let him know, that’s all.”

Zhenzhen thought aloud, “But if I go out for dinner and leave him home alone, it seems… kind of wrong?”

Back in the countryside, it was unheard of for a woman to go out for fun and leave her husband at home.

Li Shuang said, “Let him eat with He Shuo and He Ziran.”

Zhenzhen still hesitated.

Seeing her indecision, Li Shuang asked again, “Just tell me—do you want to go?”

Zhenzhen nodded. “I do.”

Li Shuang said, “Then that’s enough. I’ll talk to Shi Huaiming.”

Once the plan was settled, Zhenzhen returned to help in Wu Dafeng’s garden.

Wu Dafeng asked curiously, “What did she want?”

Zhenzhen replied, “She asked me to go out to dinner with her and Awen, the salesgirl at the food store.”

Wu Dafeng frowned in confusion. “What kind of nonsense is that? A bunch of women going out to eat and leaving their husbands and kids at home? If she wants to go out and have fun, fine—but why drag you into it?”

Then she looked at Zhenzhen. “You said yes?”

Zhenzhen felt a little guilty.

She nodded. “I did.”

Wu Dafeng was visibly worried. “Zhenzhen, don’t let her lead you astray. I’m telling you, cancel it. What’s a woman doing going out for dinner? What next—drinking? Does that sound proper to you?”

Zhenzhen was still unsure.

At lunch, she asked Shi Huaiming.

He had already heard about it from Li Shuang and simply said, “Go have some fun.”

Seeing his response, Zhenzhen made up her mind.

After lunch and a short rest, she went out with Li Shuang and met up with Awen. The three of them strolled around the mall together and did some shopping.

Zhenzhen wasn’t used to this kind of life.

Back home, if there was nothing the household truly needed, you wouldn’t even think of shopping. And if you saw something you liked, you definitely wouldn’t just spend money on it.

This kind of carefree spending—she hadn’t even dared dream about it. Back in the countryside, going to market was a big deal.

So she didn’t buy much—just wandered around with them.

After shopping, Li Shuang and Awen took her to a Western restaurant.

The fancy sign at the entrance already made Zhenzhen nervous. Inside, the walls were lavishly decorated in gold, the tablecloths and chair covers gleamed, and the silverware sparkled.

All of it only made her feel more out of place.

Fortunately, Li Shuang had reserved a private room, so they didn’t have to dine with others.

Once they were seated in the private room, Li Shuang and Awen called the waiter over to order.

They each ordered some of their favorite dishes, then asked Zhenzhen, “Xiaomianhua, what would you like to eat?”

Zhenzhen could only recognize simple characters—she couldn’t read the menu, let alone understand what any of it meant.

Unable to respond, she hesitated. Li Shuang asked instead, “Do you like beef? How about I order you a steak?”

So Li Shuang went ahead and ordered steak, shrimp, bread, and similar dishes for Zhenzhen.

While ordering, she told the waiter, “Make everything well done.”

Once the food was ordered, the three of them sat around the table chatting.

Li Shuang said, “We don’t come here often either—maybe once every year or two.”

Zhenzhen was honest with them and said, “I’ve never even seen a place like this before.”

Awen laughed. “Now that you’ve experienced it once, next time it’ll feel more natural.”

Zhenzhen nodded. “Mm.”

After a bit of chatting, Awen seemed to think of something. She looked at Li Shuang and Zhenzhen and asked, “Should we have a little wine?”

Zhenzhen’s brow twitched. Are we really drinking? she thought, suddenly uneasy.

“I don’t know how to drink,” she quickly said.

Awen smiled. “Red wine. It’s different from white liquor.”

Zhenzhen didn’t even know what red wine was. Li Shuang chimed in, “I’m pregnant, so I can’t drink. If you two want to drink, go ahead.”

Awen turned directly to Zhenzhen. “Xiaomianhua, want to try some?”

Zhenzhen thought about it for a moment, then said, “Maybe I shouldn’t.” She didn’t want Wu Dafeng’s warnings to come true.

But Awen coaxed her, “Come on, give it a try. You’re already here—wouldn’t it be a shame not to?”

She even winked. “Li Shuang’s treating today.”

Zhenzhen couldn’t resist Awen’s persuasion and agreed to give it a try.

Awen called the waiter back and ordered a bottle of red wine.

With wine, main courses, side dishes, and dessert all ordered, the three of them waited for the food to arrive.

Then Zhenzhen remembered something and said to Awen, “I’m older than you, so maybe don’t call me Xiaomianhua.”

Awen just laughed. “So what if you’re older? I think ‘Xiaomianhua’ sounds cute and rolls off the tongue.”

Li Shuang added, “She just got used to calling you that because she always hears me say it.”

It was just a nickname, after all, so Zhenzhen let it go.

Besides, if Awen had called her “big sister” instead, that might have felt even more awkward.

As they chatted, the dishes started arriving one by one.

Li Shuang and Awen began teaching Zhenzhen how to use a knife and fork, how to eat Western food, and how to drink red wine.

Li Shuang didn’t drink, only had some juice.

But Awen and Zhenzhen both started to feel a bit tipsy. Even Li Shuang, who hadn’t had any alcohol, seemed affected by the atmosphere.

As the wine took effect, the mood around the table gradually became more lively and unrestrained.

Awen’s cheeks flushed slightly as she turned to Zhenzhen. “Xiaomianhua, let me tell you something. This dinner—Li Shuang planned it just for you. She wanted to apologize. She knows what she said before really hurt you.”

Li Shuang interjected, “Why are you saying all this?”

Awen ignored her and kept talking to Zhenzhen. “That’s just how Li Shuang is—her mouth is sharp! I’ve had my share of fights with her too. She’s always criticizing this or that, like she’s the best and the prettiest and everyone else doesn’t measure up. But honestly? I think you’re prettier than her!”

Li Shuang gave Awen a playful punch on the shoulder.

Awen laughed. “What? I’m just telling the truth! You can talk about others but don’t want others talking about you?”

Then she turned to Zhenzhen and said, full of gusto, “Xiaomianhua, you tell her!”

Zhenzhen had never drunk alcohol before and had no tolerance, so the red wine made her dizzy quickly.

Fueled by Awen’s enthusiasm, she looked at Li Shuang and declared, “Li Shuang-sao! Just wait—one day, I’ll make you look up to me! Today, you barely acknowledge me. Tomorrow—”

“—You won’t be able to reach me even if you try!” Awen slammed the table and finished the line.

Li Shuang was speechless. “You two are out of your minds.”

Then she muttered to herself, “Drunk, obviously. I never should’ve let you order that wine.”

Still, she didn’t seem upset—if anything, she was enjoying the atmosphere.

As the mood grew warmer and the wine kicked in, the three of them opened up more and more.

They teased each other, joked around, and spilled grievances. After a while, Li Shuang remembered something. In the heat of the moment, she couldn’t keep it in. She nudged Awen aside and said, “I need to talk to Xiaomianhua privately. Don’t eavesdrop.”

After pushing Awen aside, she looked straight at Zhenzhen and quietly asked, “Xiaomianhua, are you and Shi Huaiming sleeping in separate rooms?”

Normally, Zhenzhen wouldn’t talk about something like that—but under the influence of alcohol, she nodded. “Yes.”

Awen, who had not actually moved away, gasped loudly. “What?!”

Li Shuang kicked her under the table. “What are you screaming for?!”

Awen finally realized she’d overreacted and quickly clapped a hand over her mouth.

The wine had loosened Zhenzhen’s tongue. She continued, “I’m not educated, I’ve never seen the world, I don’t know anything. Third Brother’s different. Our marriage was arranged by the families—he doesn’t like me, so we don’t sleep together.”

Awen lowered her hand and said in a small voice, “But you’re so pretty… Is he, um… is there something wrong with him?”

She whispered, “Like… maybe he’s impotent?”

Li Shuang burst out laughing, but Zhenzhen shook her head seriously. “I don’t know.”

Awen murmured, “I heard men usually… can’t control themselves in that area…”

Before Zhenzhen could reply, Li Shuang shot her a look. “Wow, you sure know a lot, huh?”

Awen quickly explained, “I read it in books!”

Li Shuang let it go and turned back to Zhenzhen. “So what’s his plan, then?”

Zhenzhen blushed and looked down. “He said we should take time to get to know each other. That if we spend time together, feelings will grow. And once we’ve developed a real bond, then… we’ll share a bed.”

Awen remarked, “He really is a gentleman. No wonder I always thought—”

Realizing the sensitive nature of Zhenzhen and Shi Huaiming’s relationship, she suddenly stopped short and blinked, swallowing the rest of her words.

Li Shuang smiled nearby. “I’ll help you out.”

At that, Zhenzhen suddenly looked up at her. “Help me how?”

Li Shuang replied, “Help you become better—so good that Shi Huaiming will feel unworthy of you.”

Zhenzhen blinked. “Can I really do that?”

Li Shuang said, “Didn’t you just say you were going to make me feel unworthy of you?”

Fueled by alcohol-induced courage, Zhenzhen nodded determinedly. “I can!”

Li Shuang continued, “Just listen to me—don’t follow Wu Dafeng’s path. Every day she has nothing going on, no sense of self or her own life, just revolving around her husband and kids. Men don’t appreciate that. The better you serve them, the more they take it for granted. They’ll just think you’re useless, not like you more. You need to improve yourself, live your own life. Understand?”

Zhenzhen shook her head. “I don’t get it.”

Her eyes blinked slowly, dull with confusion, but a moment later she muttered, “I think I kind of get it.”

Then she hesitated again. “But… isn’t that just what women are supposed to do?”

Li Shuang countered, “Who says that? These days we believe in gender equality. Women were liberated a long time ago.”

Zhenzhen stared at her for a moment, then nodded.

Awen poured another glass of wine and raised her glass toward Zhenzhen. “Come on, Xiaomianhua, cheers to gender equality!”

Zhenzhen raised her own glass to clink with hers. “Cheers to the new society!”

–

At the writing desk, under the glow of the lamp.

Shi Huaiming looked up from his book at the clock on the desk.

It was nearly ten o’clock. He closed the book, grabbed his keys, and headed out.

Just as he stepped outside, he saw He Shuo coming out as well.

With a tacit understanding, He Shuo spoke first. “Wanna go check on them?”

Shi Huaiming asked, “You know where they’re eating?”

He Shuo nodded. “Yeah, I do.”

The two of them walked off together.

Since the Western restaurant wasn’t far, they didn’t bother with bikes.

There was no moon out that night, and the darkness was thick. Riding a bike would have made it harder to see the road anyway.

They walked briskly. On the way, Shi Huaiming asked, “What about your son, He Ziran?”

He Shuo said, “He’s been asleep for a while. Sleeps like a rock—no problem.”

By the time they arrived at the restaurant, Li Shuang and the others had already finished eating and drinking.

Zhenzhen, having had her first taste of alcohol, was quite drunk. Li Shuang and Awen were helping her walk.

Awen was tipsy herself—slightly more stable than Zhenzhen, but only just.

It was basically Li Shuang managing two wobbly drunks.

When she saw He Shuo and Shi Huaiming arrive, she looked like she’d found salvation and exhaled in relief.

She handed Zhenzhen over to Shi Huaiming. “You carry her.”

Shi Huaiming picked Zhenzhen up onto his back, and Li Shuang asked He Shuo to help support Awen.

The five of them walked along the roadside toward home. Zhenzhen and Awen reeked of alcohol.

He Shuo asked Li Shuang, “How’d you let them drink this much?”

Li Shuang replied, “Their tolerance is just that bad. They got excited and kept toasting—I couldn’t stop them.”

Drunk, Zhenzhen lay soft and warm against Shi Huaiming’s back.

Her breath, tinged with the scent of red wine, was hot against his ear.

Her voice was soft and sticky as she murmured, “Third Brother…”

Shi Huaiming responded, “What is it?”

Zhenzhen didn’t answer right away. After a pause, she called out again, “Third Brother…”

Seeing that she didn’t seem to actually want to say anything, he simply replied again, “Mm.”

She repeated this two more times, and he answered each time.

Then suddenly, Zhenzhen blurted out, “Are you… impotent?”

“…”

The world fell silent.

After a beat, He Shuo quickly said, “We didn’t hear anything!”

Shi Huaiming: “…”