Lu Lin came out in pajamas, and Shi Sheng had already dried his hair and taken medicine. He sat cross-legged on the bed. After looking at Lu Lin’s expression for a moment, which didn’t seem too bad, he relaxed.

He hadn’t really done anything wrong, so why did he feel so guilty?

“Turn around.”

Shi Sheng complied and felt the bed creak as Lu Lin sat down, lifting his pajamas to apply the cold compress.

Shi Sheng shivered and remained motionless, remembering a flash of memory from earlier in when they were riding home.

“You’re feeling cold now. How did you brave the cold shower earlier?” Lu Lin’s deep voice came from behind.

Shi Sheng licked his lips and suddenly asked something unrelated. “Were you… a school bully before?”

The movement on his back stopped, and just as Shi Sheng was about to turn his head, Lu Lin pressed him back down. Lu Lin behind him responded indifferently, with a barely perceptible hint of tension in his voice. “You remembered.”

“A little.” Shi Sheng scratched at the itchy bump on his ankle. “What about the stories between us? You promised to tell me when I came back tonight.”

“It’s only been seven days. What stories could there be?”

“But you clearly said I confessed to you that day, and you agreed,” Shi Sheng rubbed his chin, “Shouldn’t it be a mutual long-standing crush kind of storyline?”

“… “

If only it were a mutual crush.

“Hurry up and tell me,” Shi Sheng urged.

“We met in high school, and I was a year ahead of you. Once, I saw you being bullied by a few people, so I helped out.” Lu Lin spoke leisurely.

Shi Sheng understood. From then on, he had an elder brother figure, and he got a free ride on a bike. 

“So why did you start liking me?”

“I forgot. When you like someone, you just do. Do you need a reason?” Lu Lin shrugged.

Shi Sheng nodded. “Go on, continue.”

“Every year on your birthday, I would give you some strange gifts,” Lu Lin scratched the itch for him intermittently, “Like last year… a large cactus.”

Shi Sheng leaned back to look at Lu Lin. “I thought you would give me sunflowers.”

“I remember burying the love letter I wrote to you in the cactus potting soil, hoping you would see it.”

“Then I definitely didn’t see it.”

“Because when you watered it later, you soaked the letter.”

“…” Shi Sheng choked, a familiar feeling. “Are there any other memories?”

“Besides your parents, your life has always been good, and people around you have always treated you well. When your college entrance exam results came out, you happened register in the same university I was in—”

“So we’ve been in touch like this all along, and our brotherly bond has always been strong?”

Lu Lin paused for a moment before replying, “Yes.”

Shi Sheng flopped down on the bed, his mind still empty. Lu Lin glanced at the pajamas lifted up, revealing a glimpse of a white waist, and thought of the scene in the misty bathroom. His eyes darkened instantly.

He suddenly grabbed Shi Sheng’s ankle and pulled him towards the edge of the bed.

Shi Sheng snapped out of it. “What are you doing, what are you doing!”

“This is my bed, if you want to sleep, go to your bed.”

“Okay.” fickle man.

·

Lu Lin turned off the light. In the darkness, Shi Sheng curled up in bed, his eyes looking in his direction.

“What are you looking at? Want to sleep together?”

Shi Sheng quickly averted his gaze and turned over.

If he had liked Lu Lin earlier, they had known each other for ten years, but only recently had he confessed his feelings.

Shi Sheng pondered over every word Lu Lin had said. His life was good, everyone around him was good to him, and their brotherly relationship had always been good.

But was it really like that?

Shi Sheng drifted off into a restless sleep.

In the dimness, he dreamt of being in a corner covered in icy tiles, with many people rushing towards him. He was forced to raise his chin, something brushing over his lips.

He struggled to resist, but soon four or five hands pressed him down, the light gradually engulfed by waving hands until he was engulfed in darkness. Before the last glimmer disappeared, he saw a familiar figure flash by.

…Wu Nan er.

“Nan er, help me!”

Shi Sheng suddenly opened his eyes, covered in cold sweat. The bedside lamp was turned on, and he found Lu Lin gripping his hand, his eyes tired but staring at him as if freezing him to death.

He gasped for breath, looking around, still lying in bed. It was just a dream.

But—did he just shout Wu Nan er’s name?

Oh no, he was exposed.

“Did you have a nightmare?”

Shi Sheng nodded honestly, looking at the clock on the wall. It was already one-thirty in the morning.

“What did you dream about, calling out Wu Nan er’s name?” Lu Lin released his hand and looked at the plastered foot. He had been woken up by Shi Sheng’s tossing and turning on the bed. He had never reacted so quickly even to the sound of an alarm.

“I… dreamed that someone was hitting me…”

His eyes darkened, and he asked coldly, “Why didn’t you call for my help?”

“I… I just didn’t think of it in the dream?” Shi Sheng began to feel guilty again, patting his hand. “I’ll definitely do it next time.”

“…”

Shi Sheng wiped the cold sweat off his forehead and looked at his arm. The rash had subsided quite a bit. Lu Lin suddenly lifted the blanket and climbed in his bed, squeezing him inside.

“What are you doing, my bed is small!”

“I’m afraid you’ll thrash around again. This foot is not to be messed with.” Lu Lin did not respond to Shi Sheng’s protests, turned off the night light, and then firmly pulled him into his arms.

Shi Sheng felt like he was being hugged by a large teddy bear emitting a milky fragrance, mixed with a faint scent of hormones. He didn’t dare to move.

But Lu Lin’s reason for squeezing in with him seemed reasonable too. He stiffened, thinking of the nightmare just now, not knowing how much of it was true or false. Before he could speak, the person beside him began to breathe evenly and steadily, already asleep.

“Lu Lin, hey—Moses, Moses?”

No response.

In the dimness, besides feeling a bit too warm from being covered, Shi Sheng felt at ease.

---

In the dark of night, accompanied by a few barks, elsewhere, another person remained awake.

Wu Nan er took out the high school graduation photo, sitting at the bedside, fingers caressing the youthful face of Shi Sheng in the photo.

Even in the blurry corner of the group photo, one could still see his delicate features. But Shi Sheng in the photo didn’t look happy at all, his eyes staring at the camera like a lifeless piece of wood.

Some things would never fade away with the passage of time. It seemed like he was forever nailed to the pillar of shame because of that cry for help, never given the chance to come down.

If only…

Wu Nan er opened the recording on his phone, wanting to have this chance to make amends.

In the dormitory of the command post, the screen of the phone lit up at the head of the bed, displaying a message from Wu Nan er: Are you asleep?

However, Shi Sheng was already nestled in Lu Lin’s embrace, fast asleep.

---