Chapter 8

Su Ruo thought of the things his mother had said. Whether they were true or not, she had clearly seen the malice and need for control in that woman’s eyes.

She knew that if she couldn’t win the support and help of the man beside her, she’d likely become a puppet in that woman’s hands—kneaded and shaped at her will, like a piece of meat on a chopping board… Just like back then, if she hadn’t been vigilant, she would’ve long been tightly controlled by Lin Wan Hua and her daughter.

As for whether she owed him or not, she’d figure that out later.

She took a deep breath, looked at him, and gathered her courage to speak seriously:
“Whether you believe me or not, everything I’ve said is true.”

“Just like you said, you would never force me. You even told me to focus on getting into university first, and if I succeeded and later met someone more suitable, we could discuss divorce… In this kind of situation, why would I lie to you about forgetting everything that happened in the past five years?”

“Besides,”
She gritted her teeth again, steeling herself, and said,
“Whether or not you touch me… that has to do with your character. What does it have to do with whether I remember the past or not? Just because I don’t remember doesn’t mean I’m not your wife. If you really wanted to do anything right now, I wouldn’t be able to stop you.”

She had originally wanted to say “morals,” but feared it would provoke him and backfire, so she changed it to “character” instead.

Han Zecheng looked at her, risking everything with her words.

He had to admit, she really did persuade him.

At first, it was all too strange and unbelievable—he couldn’t just accept it.

But with such clear, earnest eyes and a desperate determination in her voice, her words convinced him.

Because, truthfully, she had no reason to lie to him.

When they got married, he had told her that if one day she wanted to separate, they could divorce.

Back then, she was in a tough situation, and he also wanted to get out of the marriage arrangements both his biological father and mother had forced on him. That’s why he married her.

But marriage wasn’t a game—he never actually planned to divorce her.

At least, not from his side.

He could tell she was nervous.

Her whole body seemed tense.

Then suddenly, a wave of relief washed over him.

If she really had forgotten everything…

Then all his previous emotions—the worry after receiving her letter, the fear and anxiety he had been suppressing, the tension that followed him from the military district to here—all of it snapped, like a string pulled too tight for too long.

She didn’t remember anything, so why was he still so tense?

He looked at her and asked,
“Why did you tell me?”

His voice had already softened.

Su Ruo looked at him too.

She thought to herself, If I don’t tell you, am I supposed to fumble around in the dark by myself?

Even if she couldn’t remember, the reality was that she had already married him and had a son—this wasn’t something she could just avoid.

Most importantly, if she didn’t tell him, how would she justify rejecting intimacy between them?

Say she didn’t like him? That she hated him?

She figured that would only make her already difficult situation worse.

Things were already like this—she had to face reality.

Based on what she knew so far, he was a soldier, seemed to treat her well, and his character was reliable and respectable.

So, she had no choice but to bet on him.

After all, things couldn’t get much worse, could they?

She looked at him and said,
“Aren’t you my husband right now?”

Whether or not she wanted to believe or accept it, that was the truth.

When Han Zecheng heard this, he froze for a moment. Then, a piece of his cold, hardened heart seemed to soften.

He interpreted her words as: You’re my husband, the person closest to me. Of course I would tell you first.

At that moment, under the night sky, looking into her clear, tear-bright eyes, he nearly leaned down to kiss her again.

His Adam’s apple bobbed slightly as he asked, “Then what are you thinking right now?”

Su Ruo let out a long sigh.

The words had already been said, and he finally seemed to believe her, which brought her a sense of relief.

Since waking up, she had been tense all over, and now that tension began to ease. The panic, confusion, fear—all those chaotic emotions calmed down for the time being.

“I want to understand what the situation is right now,”
she said. “Can you tell me about it? Tell me about where I’m at now, how I ended up here as a sent-down youth, how we got married, who’s in your family, how I usually get along with them? I don’t know anything about this place anymore. I don’t even know what to say or how to react.”

She didn’t want to live under the heavy label of being a vixen who sucked someone’s blood (took advantage of someone) for the rest of her life.

It was too much to bear.

“Alright.”

He looked at her for a moment before saying, “Lie down and rest first. I’ll tell you slowly.”

Su Ruo turned to look at him.

But he had already laid down on his own.

He didn’t want to sit there looking at her, afraid that he might do something he shouldn’t.

She looked so vulnerable that he just wanted to comfort her. But he knew that anything he did now might only make her more anxious, so he lay down, avoiding her gaze.

Su Ruo thought for a bit, then lay down too—but on the inner side of the bed, leaving a gap of at least two people between them.

In the darkness, Han Zecheng stared at the tent ceiling and slowly began speaking, as if recalling a memory:
“This is Han Family Village, Linzihu Town, Beiqiao County. But originally, the place you were sent to as a sent-down youth wasn’t here. It was a farm in the neighboring province.”

“As for why you were sent down, I know a little. You’re your father’s only daughter. On your mother’s side, you had a capitalist background. Though your birth mother passed away early, your maternal grandparents are still alive overseas. When this got out, your father tried to pull some strings to get you into university. But someone reported him. With no other way out, your father had to send you to the countryside for re-education.”

“You went to the farm. At that time, I was leading troops to help with land reclamation there. That’s when I met you. I proposed to you, you agreed, and we got married.”

That explanation was really… concise.

Su Ruo turned her head and looked at him from across the distance. “I had a bad class background. Weren’t you afraid I’d ruin your future?”

Even her father, who supposedly loved her the most, had drawn a clear line and cut ties with her.

That wasn’t uncommon back then. She knew countless families, even married couples, who divorced or broke off ties over class background.

Han Zecheng frowned.

Su Ruo watched him. Even in the darkness, she could sense the seriousness on his face.

He was a serious and stern man, and because he was also a soldier, Su Ruo felt a kind of unexplainable trust and respect toward him.

So even though he’d done that to her earlier, she didn’t feel angry or violated.

Just confused. Scared.

Han Zecheng had clearly remembered something from long ago.

He said, “No. I didn’t care about that.”

Something swelled in Su Ruo’s chest. On impulse, she blurted, “Then back then, why did I marry you?”

Han Zecheng’s expression darkened.

Why had she married him?

Because she was too beautiful.

The moment she arrived at the farm, she was targeted. She had no way out and agreed to marry him.

But since those memories were gone, maybe it was best that they stayed forgotten.

He relaxed his brows, and his expression softened. “Back then, you told me that everything you once had was gone. And you wanted to live a good life with me.”

Su Ruo’s expression shifted.

Was that so?

That explanation was far easier to accept than what his mother had said—that she married him just to use him and suck him dry.

She didn’t want to believe she had become that kind of person.

And honestly, that kind of reason… really did sound like something she would’ve said.

She never had much hope for love.

Her upbringing taught her to look for a like-minded comrade in life—not romantic fantasies.

People used to say her father loved her mother deeply. But soon after her mother passed, he married Lin Wanhua and built a new family.

That kind of thing made her recoil at even the idea of love.

So when her father asked if she was willing to get engaged to Yuan Chengyang, she agreed.

She had spent more time at the Yuan family than at her own home. Yuan Uncle and Aunt treated her better than their own son. Marrying into that family wasn’t something she objected to.

So when she learned from her diary that Yuan Chengyang was with Su Jia now, what hurt her most wasn’t that Su Jia had taken her man, but that she had taken away the only warm place that still belonged to her.

So what was so strange about her being willing to marry Han Zecheng?

Even after such a short time, she could feel that this man gave off a sense of stability… something she had always lacked and yearned for most.

After a moment of silence, she asked, “Did I treat you badly before?”

Han Zecheng was stunned. Then he looked at her carefully… Though he looked cold and distant on the outside, he could be quite attentive and sensitive when needed.

He thought back to what his mother had said when Su Ruo just woke up. Maybe Su Ruo overheard something. Or maybe his mother had spoken to her later. Otherwise, why would she ask that?

He slowly replied, “No, you didn’t treat me badly. You’ve always been very good. It’s just… I was always stationed at the army base and rarely home. We’ve been married for five years, but we haven’t spent much time together. You were home alone—from pregnancy, childbirth, to now when our son has grown this big… I wasn’t there to take care of you.”

Su Ruo turned to look at him. Even in the darkness, she could see the guilt and heaviness in his eyes.

Her heart finally eased a little.

Of course—he was rarely home, so what “blood” could she have been sucking from him?

She had a job and handed ten yuan to his mother every month. The money he gave her, she saved every cent, labeling it as savings for Guoguo…

She shook her head slightly and said, “Then… could you tell me about the people in this family?”

She wanted to hear his version of things.

He gave a soft “Mm,” and replied, “Aside from my uncle and my mother, there’s also my older brother and my younger brother…”

“Uncle?”

“Yeah. My mom remarried. He’s not my biological father, so I’ve always called him Uncle.”

Han Zecheng spoke slowly, and Su Ruo gradually sorted out the family structure.

The Han family wasn’t too complicated.

Besides Han Zecheng, there were his parents, an eldest son, and a youngest son—both already married. The uncle and aunt had two sons and a daughter. The youngest brother had one son, who was about half a year older than Guoguo.

“Do I usually get along with them?”

That was a hard question to answer plainly.

Instead of responding directly, he said, “My uncle’s not my real father. Both he and my mom were previously married. My older brother is my uncle’s son from his first marriage—we’re not related by blood. But he and my sister-in-law are good people. They’ve treated you fairly well.”

“It’s just that my mom originally wanted me to marry someone else. I insisted on marrying you, so she’s never really liked you. As for my youngest brother, he’s the one my mom and uncle dote on the most—he’s been spoiled because of it.”

Those few simple sentences didn’t clearly spell out how Su Ruo had gotten along with them, but she understood.

She looked at him and, for a moment, vaguely understood why she had once told him she was willing to live a good life together.

They were clearly so different, and yet now, just hearing him speak, she felt a strange sense of peace settle inside her.

This man seemed to have a grounding, reassuring presence.

Back then, when she was at her lowest, meeting someone like him—how could she not have been drawn in?

After a pause, she asked, “Then what’s this about registering for the college entrance exam?”

That, she remembered clearly—college entrance exams had been abolished in ’66.

This time, he turned slightly to glance at her and said, “About a week ago, the government announced they’re bringing the exams back. The test will be held in a month, and there’s a testing site right here in our county.”