He gestured for the doctor to wrap it with soft cloth. Shi Buyu looked up and said, “Letting yourself get hurt is the worst plan.”

“I couldn’t hurt her, so I could only hurt myself.”

Yan Shian watched as the grotesque wound was wrapped up. It should have been painful, yet strangely, he didn’t feel it: “She punished me by hurting herself, so I retaliated by doing the same. It’s a poor strategy, but the only one that works. In her heart, there is only that one thing. She won’t tolerate me thinking about anything else. To her, only that is serious business—everything else is a distraction, not worth existing.”

Once the doctor finished wrapping the cloth, he bowed and took his leave.

Yan Ze waved for the others to withdraw as well, hoping Miss Shi could use her clever mind to help the young master get past this.

“Now that you’ve retaliated, how do you feel?” she asked.

“Exhilarated.” Yan Shian looked up and chuckled, “I even wanted to cut myself again in front of her—wanted my blood to splatter on her, to return every time she used blood to force my hand, to let her feel what I once felt. I wanted to see…”

To see if she’d feel even a trace of heartache. If she’d change her expression because of him. If she’d compromise, just like he did in the past.

Yan Shian looked at her. “Am I being too cruel?”

Shi Buyu shot back, “I can’t even bring myself to call her ‘mother.’ Do you think I’m being too cruel?”

Yan Shian shook his head. “That’s not the same. Even if you can’t say the word, what you’ve done for the Shi family—no one can match.”

“Oh, you’re pretty good at making excuses for me. Try finding some for yourself.”

Shi Buyu shifted her cushion and pulled over a side table to lean on, making sure she was completely comfortable.

“I don’t know how others get along with each other, but to me it’s simple: if you treat me well, I’ll treat you well. Even if you’re a feared villain, I’ll return your kindness. But if you treat me badly, I’ll be even worse to you—a hundred times worse. You ask if you’re being too cruel, but I think you’re asking the wrong person. If my mother had treated me the way yours did, there’s no way I’d have turned out like you.”

Yan Shian was curious. “Then what would you be like?”

Shi Buyu thought for a moment. “Probably a murderer and arsonist, doing every evil imaginable.”

Yan Shian’s pent-up emotions nearly evaporated with that. “I’ve never seen someone insult themselves like that.”

“If I were treated like that, I’d find a way to escape—and I would definitely succeed, because your mother wouldn’t dare to raise an alarm. After escaping, I wouldn’t trust anyone. Most likely, I’d be fighting with beggars for food, picking up all sorts of nasty habits. But my brain works well, so I’d become extremely cunning—eventually turning into someone who kills and burns, committing every imaginable crime.”

Yan Shian laughed, “By your logic, I turned out pretty well, huh?”

“Of course. No one else would’ve turned out like you.” Shi Buyu’s gaze dropped to his wound. “Every single day, you got through on your own. Everything you know, you learned yourself. All the suffering, you endured alone. All the pressure—no one helped you bear it. At the end of the day, you became who you are because you worked for it. It has nothing to do with anyone else. You don’t need to hate yourself just because of her. It’s not like she lived your life for you.”

Yan Shian looked dazed. How could she tell—even that he hated himself?

Her seriousness didn’t last long. Shi Buyu’s mischievous side surfaced again. She crouched in front of him and lightly patted his wound. “Does it hurt?”

Yan Shian wanted to say it didn’t. He hadn’t felt any pain before. But now, with that single pat, the pain flared—piercing, burning, as if a fire was raging in his wound, in his body, in his heart.

“Yan Shian, I don’t go around saying all this pointless stuff to just anyone. Pull yourself together. Don’t fall apart over something like this. If we fail at what we’re trying to do, I’ll be the one who has to answer to a lot of people.” Shi Buyu hugged her knees as she spoke to him. “I dared to promise you success not just because I’m confident in myself, but because the White-Bearded Man sent me to find you. That means he believes in you.”

“He believes in me?”

“If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have let me know you existed. He wouldn’t have dared to push me into danger.” Shi Buyu stood up. “Even if you were forced onto this path at first, you now have no other choice. So make it your road to greatness. Make everyone fall at your feet in the end.”

Yan Shian looked up at her. “What about you?”

Shi Buyu immediately raised her eyebrows. “You want me to fall at your feet too?”

“….” That wasn’t what Yan Shian meant at all, but he ended up laughing so hard his shoulders shook.

Shi Buyu realized she’d misunderstood, but she’d never admit it. She casually glanced around the room, fiddled with a few things, then shuffled over to the door and left.

Leaning back against the side table, Yan Shian watched her movements. His smile had just faded before it returned. For someone so sharp, sometimes her mouth moved faster than her brain.

What he really wanted to ask was: if the White-Bearded Man believed in him, what about her? Did she believe in him?

She probably did, right? Yan Shian recalled what she’d said—he was “pretty good,” and that no one else could have turned out like him. That meant she acknowledged him. But she also said if they failed, she’d let a lot of people down. Who were those people?

Just then, Yan Ze came in with medicine and met the young master’s gaze directly.

“You let her in without asking me first. Are you treating her like a savior?”

Yan Ze handed over the medicine and knelt to the side. “Among all the outsiders, Miss Shi is the one who wants you to be well the most. The kindness she shows is exactly how much she wants to give. There’s no guessing, no wondering—she’s the same inside and out.”

Yan Shian stirred the medicine, watching the little whirlpool form. He smiled faintly. “Then how much do you think she likes me right now?”

“If you’re comparing her to the rest of us, she gives you ten out of ten. But if you’re comparing her to Madam Wan…” Yan Ze glanced at his master and said honestly, “Maybe not even one.”

“There’s no ‘maybe.’ That’s exactly right.” Yan Shian took a spoonful of the bitter medicine and let it spread through every corner of his mouth. Then he took another, savoring its unbearable bitterness.

Watching his master’s leisurely pace, Yan Ze felt the bitterness himself and nearly wanted to feed it to him by hand.

“Bring in Aunt Huaihua.”

“Yes.”

Aunt Huaihua, who had been waiting outside, quickly entered and knelt before the young master.

“Did my mother give you a hard time?”

“No.” Huaihua replied, “Madam only became suspicious after learning you’d left the city and realizing I hadn’t reported it.”

“You’ve helped cover up a lot these past few years.” Yan Shian finished the last sip of his medicine and looked up at her. “You’ve worked hard.”

“Sister Lan said you’re already an adult and don’t need to wait for Madam’s instructions for everything.” After a pause, Huaihua added, “I don’t think Madam is entirely unaware.”

“It’s just that the matters weren’t important enough for her to care. Aunt Huaihua.”

“Yes, Young Master?”

“From now on, you no longer need to report anything to her. Remember—nothing.”

Sweat broke out on Huaihua’s forehead. She bowed deeply, pressing her head to the ground. “Young Master, if I agree, I’ll be betraying my mistress. I cannot be a traitor.”

Yan Shian laughed. His mother’s way of ruling her people was truly something to admire.

“Then how about this—before anything gets reported to her, I want to be informed first. Is that acceptable?”

Recalling Sister Lan’s advice, Huaihua hesitated briefly, then nodded. “Yes, Young Master.”