Chapter 82

The open window occasionally let in a gust of cool breeze.

“Clear and clean,” that’s what Jing Lian said.

He was referring to Xie Yun’s thoughts about her at that time.

Xie Yun was still kissing her, holding her waist, making her tilt her head to meet his kisses.

As they continued kissing, he lifted her onto the desk, her legs wrapping around him.

Based on Sang Yao’s limited experience, she felt that if this kiss continued, they would end up on the bed again.

Xie Yun’s kisses were always aggressive, except occasionally when he tried to soothe her, they were often tinged with dominance and desire.

He was always like this, no matter how many times she told him, he was never gentle.

Sang Yao had never been with anyone before, and she had never longed for love either.

But because she had read quite a few stories, she had a rough idea.

Whether sincere or insincere, emotions could always be expressed.

If not through words, then through the eyes.

Sang Yao met Xie Yun’s gaze.

He had delicate peach blossom eyes, slightly downturned at the corners, giving him a restrained and cold demeanor.

His pupils were pitch black, often devoid of any signs of joy.

Whenever he looked at her, his deep, pool-like eyes were always calm, except occasionally when speaking to her, there would be a hint of a smile.

Sang Yao’s response became weaker and weaker until she stopped moving altogether.

After a while, Xie Yun finally noticed the girl’s emotions in front of him.

The two were very close, and he stopped his actions, brushing her hair and looking into her eyes, asking, “What’s wrong?”

See, I told you Xie Yun was really bad at this.

She was obviously not happy, but he still said, “What’s wrong?” instead of “What’s wrong, Yao Yao?”

Just yesterday, he called her baby when they were in bed.

And that wolf-like appearance didn’t look like him at all, seeming so anxious, as if he had never seen anything like this before.

Was he so eager?

Sang Yao looked at Xie Yun with a look of grievance, unable to help but speculate that this man probably loved her falsely but lusted for her genuinely.

After saying so much, was it all just to deceive her into bed?

But then she thought it was unlikely.

Didn’t they say Xie Yun wasn’t interested in women? He didn’t have concubines or mistresses before, so if he was a big lecher, the backyard would probably be full.

So was he only interested in her body?

Was it just practice before, and he actually wanted to gradually seduce her?

Surely he wouldn’t be so shameless.

Sang Yao turned her face away, coldly saying, “It’s nothing.”

Compared to earlier, the girl now seemed visibly drained, her brows lowered, and she didn’t bring up the matter actively anymore.

Originally, Xie Yun didn’t want to bother with that old booklet and pretend nothing had happened.

But it seemed like he couldn’t let it go.

He glanced at the booklet and said in a calm voice, “Because of this?”

Sang Yao followed his gaze and looked at the booklet.

She had flipped through it several times before, but now she felt more and more annoyed as she looked at it.

She bit her lip and then resignedly said, “If you want to laugh, then laugh, it’s up to you.”

She shrugged off Xie Yun’s arm and stopped touching him.

Xie Yun said, “Who said I wanted to laugh.”

He couldn’t laugh at all.

Just thinking about how Sang Yao wasn’t entirely willing when she married him made him want to hang Jing Lian at the gates of the Xie family for a couple of days.

Sang Yao didn’t want to engage with him, feeling that he was just trying to comfort her, so she remained silent.

She actually didn’t want to show her disappointment too much because it was embarrassing enough as it was.

Xie Yun probably thought she was being overly sentimental.

Now that the misunderstanding was cleared up, it seemed like if she could appear indifferent, she wouldn’t feel as embarrassed.

She really wanted to be carefree and indifferent, not caring about anything.

But she was still very weak, wanting to defend herself, wanting to deny it.

With a dejected expression, Sang Yao hesitated for a long time before quietly speaking up, “Isn’t it normal for me to think it was you who wrote that thing? Look, there are many parts written in the first person.”

“I found it when I took people to clean that room. You had just left at that time, so I thought it was written by you.”

The more she said, the sadder she felt.

She was trying to justify herself, trying to tell Xie Yun that she wasn’t as presumptuous as he thought, but rather was compelled by the circumstances.

But the more she said, the more foolish she felt.

She was indeed being presumptuous.

This realization engulfed her in an inexplicable emotion.

She was just an ordinary girl, not smart, from a lower family, with a moderate temperament.

She had never even met Xie Yun before.

Just because of an unfounded booklet, she concluded that Xie Yun, who had never shown interest in women, was infatuated with her.

What else could it be if not presumptuous?

And after she had this idea of Xie Yun liking her, she interpreted many of Xie Yun’s actions in advance.

Like the first time they met, when his gaze fell on her at the Millennium Banquet.

With the booklet, she felt he was looking at her.

Thinking back now, it was really ridiculous.

How did Xie Yun look at her back then?

He must have laughed secretly.

Her voice was very low as she continued to justify herself, “Later at the palace banquet, you looked in my direction, and I thought you were looking at me…”

She couldn’t go on.

Feeling both sad and embarrassed, she had to desperately hold back her tears.

So annoying.

She turned her face away and said, “Forget it, luckily I brought it out today, otherwise I would have misunderstood you again.”

Xie Yun’s expression didn’t soften at all.

He said to her, “But I really was looking at you then.”

Sang Yao kept her head down, not believing him.

Xie Yun lifted Sang Yao’s chin, forcing her to look at him, and said clearly, “Why don’t you believe me? Is it so surprising that I looked at you? You were wearing a pink dress that day, Lady Sang was sitting in front of you, and I was sitting opposite you.”

“I saw you at a glance, and I thought the girl in the pink dress across from me was very cute, so I looked at you a bit more.”

Sang Yao couldn’t remember what dress she wore that day.

She felt Xie Yun was probably making it up.

Her expression still didn’t ease up, and Xie Yun looked at her, puzzled, “What’s troubling you?”

“I didn’t think of laughing at you.”

“You are my wife, why would I laugh at you?”

In Xie Yun’s eyes, although he was very angry, he couldn’t deny that the booklet was not important at all.

Because no matter what the process was like, the result now was that he and Sang Yao were married, and they would be together for a long time in the future.

That was unchangeable.

In the future, Sang Yao would only have him by her side, and there would be no Yang Wenchuan or Li Wen.

Sang Yao shook off his hand, looking down at her toes, and muttered in acknowledgment.

Maybe Xie Yun hadn’t lied to her after all.

But he probably hadn’t finished what he wanted to say, and she didn’t want to ask further.

After a moment, as if she didn’t mind anymore, Sang Yao lazily wrapped her arms around the man’s neck and murmured, “I know.”

“It’s okay if you laugh at me. I’ve embarrassed myself in front of you several times.”

Xie Yun hugged her back, gently patting her back, his voice low as he said, “You never embarrass yourself in front of me.”

Always displaying her charm freely in front of him.

“But I still have one question.”

She leaned against his shoulder, saying, “Why did you say you married me just to appease the family? Why me?”

Xie Yun fell silent for a moment.

The answer to this question was clear at first because Sang Yao was the most suitable candidate.

But now the answer became vague.

He couldn’t summarize it accurately in one sentence because anything that could be clearly defined had its limitations.

“Because I wanted you,” Xie Yun finally replied truthfully.

Xie Yun gave her a strange answer, and Sang Yao didn’t know what answer she wanted, but she knew she wasn’t satisfied with this one.

But just as she was about to reply, a gentle knock sounded at the door, and a servant said, “Young Master, Elder Xie has returned from the palace and wants to see you.”

Xie Yun frowned, originally wanting to refuse, but Sang Yao moved away from him slightly and said, “You should go.”

She took the initiative to kiss him on the cheek and said, “We’ll talk more tonight.”

Elder Xie probably urged him urgently, and the servant urged him again from outside.

Xie Yun had to bow his head to kiss her lips lightly before saying in a low voice, “Wait for me.”

•  

Xie Yun left again.

He didn’t come back for a long time.

After about half an incense stick’s time, another servant came and told Sang Yao that Elder Xie wanted Xie Yun to go to the inner cabinet, and he probably wouldn’t be back until the beginning of the Rooster hour.

Sang Yao looked at the account books for a long time.

Perhaps because she was more focused now, she naturally understood the parts she didn’t understand in the morning.

Ran Dong walked in from outside, tidied up the table for Sang Yao, and hesitated for a moment before asking softly, “Miss, do you have something on your mind?”

Sang Yao shook her head and said, “No.”

“But Miss, you’ve been frowning all day.”

Seeing that Sang Yao still didn’t speak, Ran Dong said, “Miss, the rain has stopped. Why don’t you go out for a walk?”

“It’s not as stuffy in the evening. It would be good for you to go out and relax.”

Even though it had rained, the waxing crescent moon was still visible in the sky.

Sang Yao thought for a moment, then took Ran Dong’s white hand and walked out together.

They didn’t go far, just walking around the area near West Lane Manor.

The stone lamps emitted faint light, and the moonlight was dim.

Ran Dong said, “Miss, are you upset because the Master is always busy?”

Sang Yao shook her head and said, “Why would I be angry about that?”

Ran Dong smiled and said, “I knew you wouldn’t be.”

Although she didn’t know what Sang Yao was upset about, she remembered what Sang Yao had said to her before and said, “Miss, didn’t you say, ‘Don’t let trivial matters bother you,’ as long as you don’t care, nothing can disturb you.”

Sang Yao had indeed said that before.

No expectations, no depiction of the future.

In the past ten years, she had lived well, with calm days, one after another.

She had accepted many things calmly, including her marriage to Xie Yun.

But now, something seemed off.

Silently, she had already walked out of West Lane Manor.

When she raised her head, she saw Xie Yun returning under the moonlight.

Xie Yun also saw her.

He strode towards her, his clothes stained with water on the flagstones.

He skillfully held her hand even though they were still outside and deliberately said, “Are you here to pick me up?”

Sang Yao didn’t pull away and said, “I didn’t.”

Today, she didn’t ask the simple question she wanted to ask.

Since the booklet was fake, then do you like me?

She cared more than she imagined.

She was so preoccupied that she couldn’t focus all day.

Now, she wouldn’t think about why anymore because the answer was clear.

She had to admit that she seemed to like Xie Yun.

It was the beginning of an undefined affection.

Maybe it started from the moment she saw Xie Yun just now, or maybe it started a long time ago.

Sang Yao shook off his hand, lowered her head, and looked at her toes, making a sound in acknowledgment.

Perhaps Xie Yun hadn’t lied to her.