The accumulated snow on the eaves was melting.

“Drip, drip,” it fell, dropping onto the green stone slabs in the corner of the wall, year after year, in the same place.

Drops of snow melt, forming small pits.

Yan Chen’s ears were filled with this sound.

So much so that he dared not confirm whether what An Yi said to him just now was an auditory hallucination or a misinterpretation. It was like a person about to be sent to the gallows, finally giving up struggling, only to be granted clemency at the last moment—he hadn’t expected to be pardoned, let alone for those words to be spoken by An Yi of his own accord.

“Really?”

Yan Chen wanted to pinch his own wound to confirm that this wasn’t another empty dream.

But An Yi took the initiative to hold his hand firmly before he could do so.

“Let’s consider it giving each other a chance,” An Yi took a small step forward, a step that had taken them five years to bridge, “Let’s put the past behind us and start anew. If things still don’t work out, we can part without regrets, what do you think?”

This time, Yan Chen listened attentively as An Yi said: Start over.

The overwhelming sourness instantly permeated his heart, flooding his chest and bursting into his brain along with his blood flow. Yan Chen’s eyes reddened, and he abruptly pulled An Yi into his embrace, holding him tightly. He buried his head in An Yi’s neck, and his hot tears soon soaked An Yi’s collar.

“Okay, let’s start over, start over.”

Afraid that An Yi might change his mind, he repeated it over and over again, holding An Yi with such force as if he wanted to meld him into his own flesh and blood.

An Yi raised his head and rested his chin on Yan Chen’s shoulder, closing his eyes with a smile, but his tears were unmistakable in the sunlight.

The two of them hugged quietly for a while, and An Yi patted Yan Chen’s back, “Let go, you’re hurting me.”

Yan Chen relaxed his grip, but still kept his head buried in An Yi’s neck, unwilling to let go.

He murmured, “Just a little longer.”

So An Yi held him around the waist for a couple more minutes. “I really can’t anymore, I didn’t sleep last night, and I’m really tired now.”

“I want to sleep holding you,” Yan Chen straightened up a bit, “Without doing anything, just holding you, okay?”

With tears still in his eyes and his thick lashes wet, looking quite pitiful, An Yi’s heart softened completely, and he nodded, “Okay.”

An Yi turned around to take the key and opened the door.

Yan Chen hooked his clothes and stood behind him.

As the key was inserted into the lock, there was no “click.” With a gentle turn, the door opened slightly.

An Yi looked at the lock strangely, and Yan Chen asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Not locked.” An Yi removed the key and glanced at the empty living and dining area. He probably forgot to lock the door in his hurry last night.

He asked Yan Chen to close the door, and the two of them went upstairs one after the other. Quiqui was sleeping at the stairwell, and upon hearing footsteps, he immediately shook his head and got up, lowering his ears and emitting a warning low growl towards Yan Chen who was walking behind.

An Yi soothingly rubbed Quiqui’s head and went to the bathroom to freshen up.

When he came out after finishing, the bedroom was dimly lit, the blackout curtains had been drawn, leaving only a bedside lamp on. Yan Chen had just made the bed and was holding the coat he had just taken off.

“Give it to me.”

An Yi took the coat and hung it on the coat rack by the door, feeling a bit awkward in hindsight.

After all, it had been a long time since they had seen each other, and now standing face to face, they couldn’t help but feel a bit estranged.

Yan Chen stepped forward to An Yi, his long arms encircling him and pulling him into his embrace.

“Don’t be nervous,” Yan Chen said softly, “Let me hold you a bit more.”

The warm breath he exhaled sprayed on An Yi’s sensitive ears, causing a shiver down his spine. He held Yan Chen tightly, burying his head in Yan Chen’s chest.

The two hugged tightly, their toes touching, gently swaying towards the edge of the bed.

In a daze, An Yi fell onto the soft bed.

Yan Chen propped himself up on top of him, slowly removing An Yi’s clothes one by one, then pulling over the nearby blanket and wrapping them both tightly.

He nuzzled An Yi’s cheek and said in a trembling voice, “Sleep, I’ll be here with you.”

An Yi thought it would be difficult for him to fall asleep in this situation, but Yan Chen’s strong and reassuring chest and arms always gave him a sense of comfort. Before long, he fell asleep.

Yan Chen quietly watched him, his eyes red, his heart pounding for a long time unable to calm down.

This wasn’t a dream, the person he was holding onto right now was warm, tangible, and wouldn’t suddenly disappear, leaving behind empty arms.

An Yi said he wanted to let go of the past and start over with him, how could he be so lucky.

Would he still have such an extremely tender heart?

Would An Yi still love him like before?

Even if he didn’t, it didn’t matter. He only needed a tiny bit of love.

From now on, he would be the one who didn’t seek reciprocation in love. He would give An Yi enough love and respect, give An Yi a home.

An Yi slept deeply.

When he woke up in a daze, the bedroom was still dim, and he couldn’t tell the time. He was still wrapped in a pair of arms, and when he turned his head, he saw Yan Chen’s quiet and handsome sleeping face.

Time had not left any marks on Yan Chen’s face. He still seemed like the arrogant and proud young man, even when he was asleep, there was a hint of inaccessible indifference.

An Yi was very infatuated with his face. In the past, he didn’t dare to openly gaze at it, he could only look openly after Yan Chen fell asleep. Now, with the passage of time and changes in mindset, An Yi found that he still had no resistance to this exceptionally gifted face.

He turned over, resting his head on Yan Chen’s arm, so he could look at him more closely.

As soon as he moved slightly, Yan Chen opened his eyes.

Their eyes met, and neither wanted to look away.

An Yi’s hands were folded under his cheek, their faces at the same height, so close that they could feel each other’s breath.

Yan Chen’s gaze first dropped to An Yi’s soft lips, tracing them repeatedly before meeting his eyes again.

It was unclear who moved first, but their breaths grew closer and hotter, their lips touched, and they were reluctant to part.

This was a kiss without any desire.

As they kissed, tears fell, wetting the pillow and Yan Chen’s arm.

Yan Chen backed away slightly, his hand reaching up to wipe the tears from the corner of An Yi’s eyes. An Yi closed his eyes and rubbed his cheek against Yan Chen’s palm, his fingers touching Yan Chen’s wrist.

“We can’t do this anymore,” An Yi said softly.

“Yeah,” Yan Chen hooked his finger around the ends of An Yi’s hair, paused for a few seconds, then suddenly asked, “Are you pitying me?”

An Yi asked in return, “Why would you think that?”

Yan Chen looked at him without speaking, his finger resting on An Yi’s flushed ear.

An Yi pressed down his restless hand and said, “It’s not pity, it’s not being soft-hearted. If I don’t have feelings for you, you can cut me a hundred times, and it won’t matter to me.”

Over the years, his heart had grown cold and broken, patched up and rebuilt, but the cracks still leaked wind. However, he was no longer adamant about needing love. The reason he wanted to start over was simply to give himself a chance to reconcile, no longer need to struggle with the past, no longer need to prove his growth and indestructibility by resolutely leaving.

He no longer needed to repeatedly warn himself when he was wavering.

Even if it was wrong to start over with Yan Chen, this time An Yi had the psychological support to bear the consequences, and he would never again put himself in a state of collapse.

“The past is long gone, you don’t owe me, and I don’t owe you.”

An Yi took Yan Chen’s hand, calmly saying, “This time, let’s love each other equally and freely, let things happen naturally.”

Yan Chen grasped his hand back. “Okay.”

Their fingers intertwined, and they kissed again.

This time, they didn’t settle for a brief kiss. Yan Chen lifted the blanket and slipped underneath, propping himself up above An Yi, his hands around An Yi’s neck, kissing passionately.

An Yi’s stomach grumbled at an inappropriate time.

Yan Chen’s phone also started vibrating wildly on the pillow beside them. Yan Chen didn’t want to answer it, but less than two minutes later, the phone directly launched a loud alarm reminder, as if a fire alarm was blaring, the noise echoing throughout the entire building.

An Yi was startled.

Yan Chen lay on top of him, reached out with his long arm, and silenced the phone alarm.

“What’s going on?” An Yi asked.

“It’s my sister,” Yan Chen lowered his head to kiss the corner of his mouth. “She calls me at regular intervals, and if I don’t answer, the alarm goes off.”

“Oh,” An Yi murmured.

Sure enough, less than half a minute later, Yan Jin’s name appeared on the caller ID screen.

An Yi gently pushed Yan Chen’s chin. “You should answer.”

Yan Chen reluctantly released him, rolled to the side, and answered the phone.

“Why are you at Fengji gardens?” Yan Jin’s voice came through the receiver loud and clear, audible even to An Yi nearby.

Yan Chen frowned. “Are you tracking my GPS again? Don’t you have anything else to do all day?”

“Why do you think I’m tracking you? Should I have Qin Muye and me go to the funeral parlor to find you next time?” Yan Jin retorted irritably.

An Yi recalled Qin Muye telling him about Yan Chen’s poisoning incident a few days ago. The Yan family was still on edge, so it was normal for them to check in on Yan Chen regularly.

Yan Chen sat up with the phone in hand and switched it to the other side. “I’ve told you it was an accident. Don’t check on me anymore. If you’re that idle, go buy a few companies.”

An Yi got out of bed, put on his slippers, and pulled back the curtains. It was already bright outside. Glancing at the clock on the bedside table, he saw that it was just past one in the afternoon.

He planned to go downstairs to make some food.

As he reached the bedroom door, he heard Yan Chen chuckle softly and say to the person on the phone, “I’m in a relationship now. If you want to check up on me, you’ll have to check up on him too. Stop worrying so much. Bye.”

Yan Chen hung up the phone and followed An Yi downstairs.

Qiuqiu was still circling around his pant legs, very alert.

Yan Chen teased it for a while, but he still doubted whether this chubby orange cat’s brain had been completely taken over by its appetite, forgetting that it had once nestled in his arms and acted coquettishly.

An Yi had just moved in, and the kitchen was still not fully stocked. He decided to cook some noodles to fill his stomach.

As the water boiled, the notification light on his phone flashed.

He unlocked the screen and found a reply to the message he had sent to Qin Muye late last night. It was from Lin Yuming using Qin Muye’s WeChat ID, sending him a screenshot of a chat with Qin Muye.

The screenshot was from April of this year, when An Yi had come down from the snowy mountains, three days after Yan Chen bid him farewell in the hospital room.

At three in the morning, Qin Muye had sent three consecutive messages to Lin Yuming.

[Qin Muye: Yan Chen’s mother slit her wrists and is in the ICU. If she dies, my uncle will probably blow up your hospital.]

[Qin Muye: This big idiot.]

[Qin Muye: Should I tell Yi ge about this?]

The chat screenshot ended there. Lin Yuming sent two more messages.

[Lin Yuming: Why are you suddenly asking about this? How did you know?]

[Lin Yuming: Have you softened up? If you ask me, this is nothing compared to what you’ve suffered.]

[Lin Yuming: But if you want to reconcile, I’ll support you. He has changed a lot over the years, so let bygones be bygones.]

An Yi glanced at the man playing with the cat in the living room, then deleted the screenshot.

He replied to Lin Yuming: Thanks, but don’t let Qin Muye tell Yan Chen that I know about this. I don’t want him to overthink it.

Lin Yuming quickly replied: Understood. So…are you really back together?

An Yi hadn’t finished typing when Lin Yuming’s video call suddenly came in. An Yi accepted it without much thought.

After a few seconds of the camera shaking, Lin Yuming’s half face appeared on the screen, but before he could say anything, he was pushed out of the frame by Qin Muye, leaving only Lin Yuming’s resentful silhouette.

“What’s going on? What are you talking about? Back together with whom?” Qin Muye’s voice came through.

Yan Chen heard his voice from the living room and turned his head.

An Yi met Yan Chen’s gaze, and the two exchanged a look. Then Qin Muye started yelling again, “Yi ge, did someone force you? Your eyes look swollen, your lips look swollen…”

Yan Chen got up and walked over, not appearing on the screen, but leaning towards the phone microphone, and said softly, “We kissed, and now my lips are swollen too. Do you want to see?”

With a “beep,” the video call was disconnected.

Qin Muye hung up.

^[1]Author’s note:

Yan Chen: The sarcastic me is back.