Chapter 20: Using Hands or Toys Also Won’t Work

After adding him on WeChat, Li Fan didn’t greet Han Xuzhou but clicked into his Moments to take a look.

There was only one post in his Moments, posted three years ago, and it was the same picture as his profile photo.

Exiting Moments, Li Fan changed Han Xuzhou’s contact note to “Mr. Cuckold.”

006: [Isn’t this a bit too much?]

Li Fan: [Since when did you become one of his fans?]

006 was speechless.

Li Fan had no intention to talk to Han Xuzhou; after adding him, she went straight to sleep.

She dreamed nothing all night and woke up the next morning.

006: [Latest gossip — last night Gu Lan called over the man she’s keeping, and they were going at it in the room like they didn’t know what day it was.]

Li Fan: “…”

[She’s got some nerve. This is the show’s filming set!]

006: [Because the director is also one of her admirers.]

Li Fan was speechless and could only say Gu Lan must be very healthy.

006: [And Liang Kang, she spent the first half of the night with Gu Lan, then after midnight went to Shen Yuwan’s room and partied all night.]

[Shen Yuwan? Isn’t she supposed to stay chaste for men?]

006: [Where do you get these antique ideas? She’s a sea queen, she’s got a whole pond of fish under her care. Why else would she raise fish? Surely not just for chatting under a quilt? Shen Yuwan’s mindset is somewhat like a mail-order bride — she wants to sleep with every type of man. She’s interested in Liang Kang because he’s crazy enough.]

006: [So I’m telling you, get a boyfriend. Don’t care about feelings or love, just look for those with eight-pack abs. Listening to songs without VIP, dating without “ing,” life’s just like mmp.]

Li Fan: [Are you just spitting rhymes now?]

006: [Tsk, the taste of men, you don’t understand.]

Li Fan gave a cold smile, [You do?]

Now that she was married to Han Xuzhou, if she went out to find other men, that would be cheating.

At most, she would do like Shen Yuwan and Liang Kang, flipping partners every day.

Li Fan went downstairs and leisurely ate breakfast.

Ren Xuan came out and said, “It’s rare to have Master Ling Liren, a national medicine expert, here. The show decided to give everyone a day to relax. Master Ling will check pulses and help everyone sort out small body issues and teach some health tips.”

Ling Liren got up early. He had already finished his morning exercise and breakfast and was now waiting outside in the yard.

When Li Fan came out, she saw him dressed in white men’s Tai Chi clothes — he really looked like a Taoist immortal.

“Weren’t we going to have the pulse diagnosis?”

Gu Lan glanced at her and said, “Let’s have Li Fan go first.”

No one knew if Master Ling would say anything inappropriate, so they decided to push Li Fan out first to test the waters.

Li Fan nodded, “Okay, I’ll go first then.”

Ling Liren smiled cheerfully, “Relax, I’m not going to eat you.”

He first observed Li Fan’s facial features, looked at her pupils and tongue coating, then took her pulse one by one.

He also asked some questions afterward.

His expression was unusually serious during the check, making Li Fan’s heart beat wildly — she almost thought she had some terminal illness.

When Ling Liren loosened his grip, Gu Lan, even more anxious than Li Fan, asked, “Master Ling, is Li Fan’s health bad?”

Ling Liren hummed, “Low blood sugar, unbalanced nutrition, quite a few small problems, but nothing serious. You need to rest more, avoid staying up late playing with your phone, and make sure to eat breakfast. Want me to prescribe you some medicine to help regulate?”

Li Fan touched her nose — she really was used to staying up late playing on her phone, waking up to eat lunch directly and always missing breakfast.

“Prescribe it, prescribe it. I’ll ask the nanny to get the medicine, thanks, Master Li.”

Li Liren gave her a prescription, which was quite simple. Li Fan carefully kept it.

Gu Lan relaxed a little, thinking Master Li was pretty impressive but couldn’t really say anything profound.

Since he wouldn’t reveal any secrets, there was nothing to fear.

Gu Lan stepped forward, volunteering.

Li Liren kept examining carefully, and Gu Lan obediently answered questions.

Seeing that Li Liren’s expression wasn’t as serious as before, Gu Lan was confident.

“My health is great. I have a physical every year, so there must be no problems.”

Li Liren slowly shook his head, “No, no, no.”

He said “no” three times in a row, freezing Gu Lan’s smile.

She found it funny, “Then Master Li, what’s wrong with me?”

Li Liren thought for a moment, then cautiously said, “Everyone has physiological needs, it’s natural. But you are too lustful. No matter how loving you and your boyfriend are, you need to pay attention to frequency and rest. Don’t just go for instant pleasure. Your body is already depleted, but still young enough to recover…”

Gu Lan suddenly stood up, panicking and accidentally kicked over her chair.

“Master Li, don’t talk nonsense! I don’t have a boyfriend! I’m single, everyone knows that!” Gu Lan hurriedly denied.

Li Liren stared at her, then showed a look of realization.

“Girlfriends are the same. You have to watch the frequency too.”

Gu Lan was almost crazy, gritting her teeth, “I don’t have a girlfriend either!”

Li Liren’s gaze landed on her hand, as if he suddenly understood something, shaking his head.

“Using hands or toys also won’t do. You’d better quit. Your body is already seriously depleted. I’ll prescribe some medicine for you…” Li Liren earnestly advised.

[Just now I was drinking porridge and spit it out laughing — got it all over my mom’s face, and now she’s chasing me to hit me…]

[Hahaha didn’t expect the cool and aloof lady to be so playful.]

[Master Li seriously advising her really cracked me up.]

[Toys also won’t work hahaha!]

[Everyone has their physiological needs, it’s private, what’s so funny about it?]

[I’m not laughing, Master Li is seriously advising Gu Lan, it’s Gu Lan who keeps denying it. At this point, there’s no need to insist on a single persona.]

Gu Lan’s face twisted in rage, suddenly exploding, she swept everything on the table to the floor.

She yelled hysterically at Master Li, “I already told you I don’t have one! Can’t you understand human language?”

Li Liren insisted, “Your body tells me you do. Ignoring problems won’t help…”

Gu Lan laughed bitterly, “What kind of quack did your show hire?!”

Li Liren sighed repeatedly, shaking his head, bending to pick up the things from the floor, muttering, “No one told me I couldn’t speak the truth before coming here.”

Li Fan held back laughter and almost choked, wildly messaging Chen Ji.

Fan Fan not annoyed: [Hurry up and watch the livestream, big scandal!]

Chen Ji: [Madam, don’t you have other friends to share with?]

Fan Fan not annoyed: [No, if I had, why would I be bothering you! [confident reasoning.jpg]]

Chen Ji: [You could ask Fourth Master?]

Fan Fan not annoyed: [Do you usually gossip with him?]

Chen Ji: [Of course not.]

Fan Fan not annoyed: [We’re all workers here. I thought you understood me! Talking to the boss more is overtime for slaves! [smile]]