Chapter 1: Four Eyes

Jiangcheng People’s Hospital.

Song Chunhui got out of the car empty-handed. After a few steps, he thought to himself that he was coming uninvited this time. Manager Ma might give him a hard time, and showing up empty-handed might just make things worse. Oh well, a few dozen bucks’ worth of stuff, just consider it feeding the dogs.

The sun wasn’t too harsh as winter approached. He remembered there was a fruit stand on a street he just passed, which also sold fruit baskets. The price was definitely cheaper than the fruit shop at the hospital entrance.

Parking at the hospital was free for only an hour, so he hurried over. But as he turned around, he bumped into a young guy, and the coffee in the guy’s hand spilled all over him.

“Damn, can’t you watch where you’re going?”

Caught off guard, Song Chunhui looked down at his expensive suit, which he had bought for nearly two thousand from Hailan Home and had only worn a few times. The front was soaked, and the coffee that spilled on the ground splashed onto his shoes and pants.

Heartbroken, he looked up to see the young guy with flamboyant blue hair and a stud in the corner of his lower lip, dressed in a bizarre fashion. He didn’t look like a good person at all.

“I waited ten minutes for this coffee!”

Arguing with a punk was a waste of breath, and Song Chunhui was in a hurry, so he didn’t bother with words. “The road is so wide, yet you had to walk right behind me while looking at your phone. The dry cleaning for this suit alone costs four hundred. You look young, so let’s both take a step back. Just give me two hundred.”

The blue-haired guy found it amusing. “You suddenly stopped and turned around, bumping into me. Get your facts straight.”

If it were anyone else, Song Chunhui could argue for an hour, but not with a punk. So he took another step back. “Then just give me one hundred eighty, twenty for the coffee.”

In the car, Li Huan hung up the phone and turned it off. He looked up to see his childhood friend arguing with a bespectacled man in a suit. What a mess.

He frowned, watched for a while, then put his phone back in his pocket, got out of the car, and walked over.

Song Chunhui was really angry. He couldn’t deal with the connections in the company, but he couldn’t believe he couldn’t handle a young punk. If it came to it, he’d make a scene, even if it meant going to the police station or the hospital, just to get the money back.

Blue Hair: “Are you crazy? Do you want me to beat you up?”

“Bring it on,” Song Chunhui tightened his grip on Blue Hair’s arm, provoking him. “Come on, hit me. You think you can mess with me? Have you even grown up yet, you little punk?” Just as he finished speaking, he noticed a tall figure in his peripheral vision.

Guessing it was Blue Hair’s accomplice, Song Chunhui turned to see a “one-eyed dragon” with brown hair approaching.

The guy’s right eye was covered with a bandage, secured with medical tape, looking particularly striking on his handsome face. He wore a light-colored sweater and jeans, looking more proper than Blue Hair, full of youthful energy like a college student. But hanging out with Blue Hair, he couldn’t be a good person either.

Li Huan ignored the gaze on him and interrupted the commotion. “Cheng Yao, let it go.” He signaled his friend to get back in the car. It was just a cup of coffee; it didn’t matter if it spilled.

Seeing Li Huan turn back towards the car, Cheng Yao pushed Song Chunhui away and cursed, “You nagging four-eyes, you’re lucky. I’ll transfer the money to you right now!”

Song Chunhui almost stumbled. Hearing that Blue Hair was willing to pay, he straightened up, pushed his black-framed glasses up his nose, and took out his phone from his pocket, opening his WeChat payment code.

Soon, his wallet received 250 yuan.

He was briefly stunned. Blue Hair was insulting him with money.

“Take this two hundred fifty and get lost!”

With the smell of coffee lingering on him, Song Chunhui put away his phone and looked at the coffee shop sign inside the hospital. A place meant to save lives now looked like a mall. Big cities were indeed different, even the punks in big cities were different—dumb and rich.

Sigh… Song Chunhui patted his suit, worried that the coffee would damage the fabric if left too long. Forget about buying a fruit basket; the urgent task was to find a nearby dry cleaner. He couldn’t afford to delay tomorrow’s blind date.

He quickly got back in the car.

Once in the car, Cheng Yao saw Li Huan leaning back with his eyes closed, clearly in a bad mood, so he explained a bit.

“It was that four-eyes who bumped into me and had the nerve to ask me for compensation. I didn’t want to argue, so I offered him three hundred to buy coffee. He thought I was trying to run and started lecturing me. Damn!”

Li Huan had just been scolded by his dad on the phone. Hearing Cheng Yao’s explanation, he opened his eyes and said, “Why didn’t you just slap him?”

“I hadn’t even touched him, and he said he’d call the police on me,” Cheng Yao laughed angrily. “What an idiot, showing off his cheap suit to me. I was so mad I transferred him two hundred fifty.”

Li Huan didn’t respond.

Cheng Yao glanced at him and asked, “Are you really going home? Why not stay at my place for a few days? If your mom sees you, she’ll probably complain to my mom. Even your tattoo was blamed on me.”

Li Huan still didn’t respond. Only after the car left the parking spot did he say, “The tattoo’s already removed. Take me home.”

“…” Cheng Yao had nothing to say, giving a sympathetic look to his childhood friend he hadn’t seen in four years.

Meanwhile, Song Chunhui, with his head down, searched on his phone for nearby dry cleaners with cheap group deals, completely unaware of the sports car driving past his windshield.

He found two cheap ones, but calling them revealed a three to five-day wait. Express service required double the fee, making it less cost-effective than the place he used before. But it was far, and going there would waste time and gas, making him regret not asking Blue Hair for more compensation.

In the end, Song Chunhui angrily paid a hundred for express cleaning of his suit. He didn’t clean the pants because that was a separate charge, and he couldn’t haggle it down with the owner.

His white shirt was also stained with coffee, damaging his presentable image, making it impossible to visit the hospital. So he drove straight to his junior Meng Chunxun’s place.

He had a spare key from Meng Chunxun and bought some groceries at the market near New Village. But upon entering, he found the single bed in the junior’s bedroom replaced with a 1.8-meter-wide double bed, and the old sofa he used to sleep on was gone.

His first reaction was to leave quickly, planning to wash his pants and shirt back in Ancheng the next night. After all, only the pant cuffs were dirty, and the shirt wouldn’t show under the suit.

He put the groceries in the fridge, left the spare key on the table, and hurriedly left.

Back in the car, Song Chunhui searched on his phone and finally found a cheap motel halfway between the hospital and the blind date location.

After deducting 100 for dry cleaning, 50 for tomorrow’s fruit basket, 70 for a night’s stay at the motel, and splitting the remaining 30 between gas and a meal, it wasn’t too bad.

Song Chunhui changed into a long-sleeved shirt and sweatpants from his backpack. Without his glasses, he felt drained, collapsing onto the small, hard single bed in the motel.

The room was small and stuffy, with a mix of mold and dampness fermenting in his nose. He stared at the peeling ceiling, his mouth slightly open, exhaling a sigh of self-talk.

His junior, three years younger, was already in a relationship and quickly moved in together, while he was still single. Every blind date ended in failure, none suitable.

Song Chunhui felt bitter with envy, and of course, he was crazy about wanting a woman. In his loneliest moments, he even considered hiring a prostitute. But he couldn’t stand the cheap ones, fearing dirt and disease, and couldn’t bear to spend his money on the expensive ones, thinking it wasn’t worth it for just one time, especially since he couldn’t kiss. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to kiss, but who knew how many men she’d been with? After thinking it over, he decided it was better to handle things himself.

Actually, Song Chunhui didn’t dare to hire a prostitute. A bachelor for years, he relied on dozens of encrypted romance action films on his phone to get by. Stimulated by his junior, he felt lonely again.

“Yamete…”

Overwhelmed by work for so long, Song Chunhui wanted to release some stress. But his junior suddenly called, interrupting the video, and he quickly pulled up his sweatpants and sat up to answer the call.

“Brother Hui, where are you?”

Meng Chunxun was the only brother Song Chunhui could confide in. They were from the same county and shared the same generation name. After graduating from university, they both stayed in Jiangcheng to work hard. Last year, they even bought pre-sale apartments in the same development, with keys available next year.

Unfortunately, a month ago, Song Chunhui was transferred by his direct superior, Manager Ma, to the branch office in Ancheng, with no certainty of returning in three to five years.

And Meng Chunxun had just been promoted last month, achieving both career and love success. The more Song Chunhui thought about it, the more sour he felt, even his tone was a bit sour.

“Chunxun, why didn’t you tell me about getting a girlfriend? What if I walked in and caught your girlfriend showering? How awkward would that be?”

Meng Chunxun explained, “I don’t have a girlfriend. I’m too busy with work to have time for one.”

“Ah, then why did you change the bed and get rid of the sofa I used to sleep on?” Song Chunhui felt better, knowing someone else was also single, so he wasn’t that lonely.

Otherwise, with Meng Chunxun’s shorter stature, he’d really be afraid of being jealous.

Learning that the sofa was broken, and considering that Song Chunhui occasionally returned to Jiangcheng, Meng Chunxun simply replaced it with a big bed. Song Chunhui was touched but had a hard time expressing it, so he scolded, “Why waste money like that? How bad could the sofa be? I could make do.”

“I sleep on it too, and the bed wasn’t expensive.” Meng Chunxun asked where Song Chunhui was and urged him to come over for dinner.

There was a small restaurant next to the motel, and Song Chunhui didn’t want to go back and forth, partly because he had already paid for the room, and partly because of his own reasons.

But when Meng Chunxun heard he had rented a room, he got worried and scolded him back, “Did you rent one of those cheap motels again? I really don’t know what to say to you, Brother Hui. Why come back to Jiangcheng if you’re going to be so miserable?”

“Who’s miserable?” Song Chunhui stubbornly denied, “You have no idea how happy I am. I just heard yesterday that Ma Jianguo got rectal cancer. He transferred me to that godforsaken branch in Ancheng, and now he’s getting his comeuppance.”

Meng Chunxun agreed, “That’s great. Maybe he’ll report to King Yama by the New Year.” Then he added, “My company’s procurement department is hiring. You know the benefits and work environment. Want to give it a try?”

Hearing the word “procurement” made Song Chunhui angry. He had been a loyal lackey to Ma Jianguo for nearly eight years, still just a procurement officer. He finally heard about a departmental shake-up and thought he could finally get promoted.

In fact, Song Chunhui did get promoted, directly crossing departments from procurement officer to business manager. The work environment changed from a luxurious building with a river view to an old, shabby building in an industrial area, with a barren wasteland outside the office window.

“No, I need to buy some wine.” Song Chunhui took out his phone to buy wine, but Meng Chunxun stopped him in time. He couldn’t hold back his frustration any longer, “Tomorrow, I’m going to the hospital to beat up Ma Jianguo, and I’ll beat up his wife and son too!”

Knowing Song Chunhui’s character, Meng Chunxun joked, “Didn’t you say his son is only seven? Would you hit a little kid too?”

“Like father, like son.” Song Chunhui chewed on a fragrant sausage, then changed the subject, “But his wife is quite something, still charming, with those two bouncing around when she walks.”

Meng Chunxun couldn’t stand Song Chunhui’s lewd talk and kept serving him food.

Song Chunhui hadn’t eaten much at noon, and now, hungry, he devoured the food without noticing his junior’s slightly displeased look. Once full, his mood improved, and he casually mentioned his blind date tomorrow, introduced by the cleaning lady at the Ancheng branch.

The woman was twenty-eight, with a vocational school education, working as a cashier at a chain food store in Jiangcheng. Her job was stable with social security, and she was honest and virtuous.

“Do you think I came back just to see Ma Jianguo? I’m here to find a partner, and to see Ma Jianguo as a side note. His illness is a secret in the company, and I only found out from Liu.”

Meng Chunxun forgot Liu’s full name, only remembering he was the general manager of the branch Song Chunhui went to. Song Chunhui had complained about him on the phone over a month ago.

He wasn’t interested in these details, only asking, “Brother Hui, are you really going to do this?”

Song Chunhui thought his junior was referring to work, getting annoyed and impatiently saying, “I know what I’m doing. Don’t worry about it.”

“Your ex-girlfriend was so good,” Meng Chunxun tried to persuade Song Chunhui, “The difference in education might affect communication. Don’t get married just for the sake of it.”

Song Chunhui didn’t mind, “What does a girl’s education matter? I’m afraid a smart one would run away. The most important thing is to have kids and live life together.”

Meng Chunxun gave up, knowing this blind date would definitely fail.

Seeing Song Chunhui get up to clean the dishes, he took over the task, casually saying, “Brother Hui, go take a shower. I bought you a set of pajamas on sale a few days ago.”

The bathroom was cleaner than the small motel’s. After showering, Song Chunhui put on his long-sleeved shirt and sweatpants again, insisting on returning to the motel for the night, citing the reason that he had paid for it and didn’t want to waste it.

Before leaving, Song Chunhui thought carefully and reminded his junior, “Chunxun, you’re 27 now, not young anymore. Don’t be too picky. There are fewer women than men.”

Meng Chunxun: “…”

Song Chunhui: “Excluding those who are prostitutes, divorced, not serious, or kept by old men, can you blame me for being anxious?”

Meng Chunxun: “…”

Author’s Note:

[Highlight] The synopsis has been prepared with warnings. Please read the character settings and warnings carefully. If you’re a purist or have strong moral views, proceed with caution. [Character’s views and statements ≠ Author’s views and statements] Song Chunhui is really a stingy, chauvinistic straight man (in a derogatory sense) and a bit lecherous, not likable. Because he’s not likable, he becomes an unlucky “male mom,” which is the author’s personal kink (chauvinistic man transformation). If you can’t accept it or find it uncomfortable to read, please retreat in time, retreat in time, retreat in time (shouting hoarsely!!!), thank you for understanding.

This story is a companion piece to “Formatting,” but can be read independently.

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Dear readers, thank you for waiting. The story of Zhuang Zhuang and Father Song is here. Zhuang Zhuang appeared a few times in “Formatting,” but the specific plot is based on this book. Thank you for your upcoming companionship, love, and support. The Saint Seiya will continue to work hard!