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Chapter 44: Self-Reflection Letter
When the durian was being opened, Zhao Li still remembered to ask Zong Shao, who was sitting far away, “Comrade Zong, you really don’t eat durian?”
Back when she first started hanging out with Lin Wei, Zhao Li had politely addressed Zong Shao by his formal title. But as she grew closer to Lin Wei, she dropped the title and started calling him Comrade Zong instead.
Although both Zong Shao and Mingming didn’t like the smell of durian, Zhao Li had never given up trying to sell it to them. Every time she brought durian to share with Lin Wei, she would always ask them again—who knows, maybe one day they’d change their minds?
But up to this day, that father and son still hadn’t changed their minds.
Zong Shao shook his head from afar and said, “You guys go ahead.”
Zhao Li shook her head in resignation. “Durian is so delicious, how can neither of you like it?”
Standing beside the table waiting for their share, Ruirui and Xiaoshitou chimed in together, “We love it!”
Xiaoshitou had once tasted durian while playing at Lin Wei’s house. He was okay with the smell, so he took a bite along with the others—and ended up liking it.
That’s how it is with durian. Most people don’t eat it not because of the taste, but because they’re put off by the smell. But once someone can get past the smell, very few end up disliking it.
However, no one in Xiaoshitou’s family liked durian, and no one would ever buy it, so he could only sneak a few bites whenever Lin Wei’s household had some.
Seeing the two kids’ eager eyes, Zhao Li smiled and said, “I know you like it. Here, this big piece is for Ruirui, and this similarly sized one is for Xiaoshitou.”
The two children took the durian flesh and sat side by side on a bench to eat.
As the sweet flesh melted in their mouths, both Xiaoshitou and Ruirui showed joyful expressions.
But while they were happy, Mingming wasn’t feeling great. He had been happily playing just now, and then his two playmates got called away to eat.
If they were eating other fruit, he might have gone to join them, but they were eating that stinky durian. He didn’t even want to get close enough to smell it.
So Mingming could only stand on a stone, leaning on the courtyard wall and watching them from a distance, occasionally shouting for them to hurry up and finish.
Urged by their little friend, Ruirui and Xiaoshitou chewed faster. Fortunately, durian is rich and soft, melting in the mouth and easy to swallow. Before long, they had polished off their portions and clapped their hands, ready to go back to play with Mingming.
But they had barely taken two steps before Mingming stretched out his arms in front of his chest and shouted, “Stop right there!”
Ruirui and Xiaoshitou were puzzled. “What’s wrong?”
Mingming replied, “You just ate durian—you need to brush your teeth first!”
It just goes to show, people’s tolerance can increase with experience. When Lin Wei and Ruirui first tried durian, Mingming didn’t even want to sleep in the same room with them that night. But now, his standards had relaxed to: brushing teeth is enough.
Even so, Ruirui and Xiaoshitou hesitated.
After being scorned by Mingming once, Zhou Jianhai had talked to his wife about making sure their son brushed his teeth. Now, every day, Chen Bamei supervised Xiaoshitou to ensure he brushed. Ruirui, under Lin Wei’s strict guidance, had long developed the habit of brushing morning and night. But it wasn’t bedtime yet—they really didn’t want to go brush right now.
Still, Mingming was firm—brushing was the bottom line, and he wasn’t backing down.
After a brief standoff, Ruirui and Xiaoshitou finally gave in and each returned home to brush their teeth.
Watching the kids’ confrontation, Zhao Li was thoroughly amused. As she nibbled durian and saw Lin Wei come out squeezing toothpaste, she mimicked the kids in a parrot-like tone: “I don’t wanna brush my teeth. If you don’t brush, I won’t play with you! Hahaha, these kids are too funny.”
“Aren’t all kids like this?” Lin Wei said with a smile.
Zhao Li thought for a moment and nodded. “True. Kids this age are the most fun. When they get a bit older, they’re just a headache.”
“Isn’t your daughter pretty well-behaved?”
Zhao Li nodded. “My daughter is, but my son is a handful. He’s already six or seven, and we still have to nag him repeatedly to get him to brush his teeth. He’s noisy at bedtime too. His sister doesn’t even want to share a room with him anymore.”
Lin Wei said, “At their age, it’s time they had separate rooms anyway.”
Zhao Li sighed. “I’d love to split them up, but we just don’t have enough rooms.”
Although Zhao Li’s family also lived in a two-bedroom, the two-bedroom units in the newer row houses couldn’t compare to the older buildings. Zhao Li’s place was only slightly larger than Lin Wei’s ground-floor apartment.
With limited space, having to fit in a master bedroom, second bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom, there was barely room for more than a couple of extra dressers, let alone a dining or living room.
Trying to partition off a room in the living room? That was tough.
Actually, when she first joined her husband at the base, there were still plenty of vacancies in the old building complex. But she felt the conditions there were worse than the row houses. Plus, the kids were still small and didn’t need to sleep separately yet, so she chose the only two-bedroom available in the newer block.
She had thought at the time, “It’s not like housing in the family compound is permanent. We’ll live in the two-bedroom for a few years. Once the kids are older, we’ll move to a three-bedroom.”
But after three years, only more two-bedroom units had become available. There was no three-bedroom to move into.
Thinking of this, Zhao Li couldn’t help but sigh. “Sometimes I wonder if I should just move over here. The conditions aren’t as nice, but at least it’s more spacious.”
Hearing this, Lin Wei said, “If you want to switch, go ahead. There are still empty units here anyway.”
But Zhao Li shook her head immediately. “Forget it. Moving is such a hassle, and my husband Lao Zhang said Deputy Commander Cao from the Third Regiment is retiring from the military. Once his retirement is approved, he plans to apply for their place.”
Although Lin Wei had only joined the base a little over three months ago, she had a good memory. People she’d seen, names she’d heard—she could remember them all.
She hadn’t met this Deputy Commander Cao, but she had met his wife and knew which apartment they lived in. She asked, “Is their place a three-bedroom?”
“Exactly. And not just any three-bedroom—it’s one of the largest layouts. After they moved in, they partitioned off the living room, so it’s practically a four-bedroom now.”
“That’s a big place. But I bet a lot of people are eyeing that unit?”
“Right now, not many know. His retirement hasn’t been made public yet. Only some old colleagues in the regiment and a few higher-ups at the division level know. The only reason my Lao Zhang found out is because they’re very close. That apartment—he wants to leave it to us.” Then Zhao Li lowered her voice, “By the way, keep this to yourself. It’s not settled yet, so please don’t tell anyone.”
Back in those days, people generally had a lot of children. Having just two kids was considered a small family—three or four was the norm. The same was true in the family compound.
So even though the smallest apartments in the compound were two-bedrooms, housing was still tight. Deputy Commander Cao’s apartment, with essentially four rooms, would be a prize if it went up for grabs—people would fight over it.
Zhao Li only shared this with Lin Wei because she saw how seriously Zong Shao had renovated their place—fixing the bathroom, adding a kitchen—it was obvious they were planning to live here for at least three to five years. If it had been someone else, like Liu Dan or Yang Yi, she wouldn’t have mentioned a word.
This wasn’t Zhao Li being petty or distrustful. It was just experience. There had been a case before where someone lost out on a unit due to a leak, and the two military wives involved had a huge falling out—never spoke again.
Lin Wei understood that Zhao Li was telling her this because she trusted her. So she nodded without hesitation and said, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul.”
Zhao Li was relieved. She looked up at Zong Shao, uncertain if he’d overheard.
Of course Zong Shao had heard. Although the two women had lowered their voices on purpose, they weren’t that far away, and his hearing was excellent. But he was tactful. When he saw Zhao Li looking over, he said proactively, “I didn’t hear a thing.”
Zhao Li couldn’t help but laugh and said to Lin Wei, “There are so many men in our family quarters, but I still prefer dealing with your Comrade Zong—straightforward guy.”
Lin Wei laughed too. “You’re not scared of him anymore?”
In front of Zong Shao, Zhao Li refused to admit she ever bad-mouthed him. “When was I ever scared of Comrade Zong? Just look at that face—‘scary’ doesn’t suit him at all.” She said this while winking at Lin Wei.
“Yes, yes, you never said that. I must have misheard,” Lin Wei said, trying not to laugh.
“Of course you misheard,” Zhao Li said shamelessly, then changed the subject. “By the way, did you hear about Gao Xiulian fighting with Wang Qing?”
The topic changed so fast that Lin Wei was stunned for a second. “Wang Qing? Why did they fight?”
“Isn’t everyone in the family quarters saying that Gao Xiulian made that comment about how there’s no distinction between high and low jobs, that as long as you work hard, you’ll shine wherever you are? That line was originally her mocking Wang Qing. Then yesterday something happened, and the two of them swapped jobs—Gao Xiulian went to the back kitchen to wash vegetables, and Wang Qing moved to the food window. So Wang Qing threw that line back at her in mockery and spread it around.”
Zhao Li chewed on some durian and said, “Apparently after Gao Xiulian heard what people in the family quarters were saying, she felt Wang Qing was trying to keep her from going back to the food window by publicly shaming her. She was furious and went to the state-run cafeteria in the morning to confront Wang Qing.”
Lin Wei: “……”
“I heard they had a huge argument, even got physical. The others at the cafeteria tried to break it up, and it almost delayed lunch service… Wait, what’s with that look on your face?” Zhao Li turned and looked at her suspiciously.
Lin Wei said, “…Their fight might have something to do with me.” She recounted what happened in the morning.
Zhao Li clicked her tongue. “I was wondering how this had anything to do with you. So it’s just that? Those words have been going around the family quarters for a while. Even if you didn’t say them, Gao Xiulian would’ve heard them from someone else. Since she already believes Wang Qing spread it on purpose, she was bound to confront her sooner or later.”
“You’ve got a point,” Lin Wei nodded, then asked, “What happened to them in the end? Did anyone get hurt?”
“No, there were people pulling them apart. No one got hurt. Just a bad argument that nearly delayed the food service. Director Huang was furious when he found out. But Wang Qing didn’t suffer—she just got a scolding and continued working. I saw her at lunch; she looked fine, don’t worry.”
Lin Wei let out a breath of relief. “What about Gao Xiulian?”
“Oh, her.”
Zhao Li had just started to speak when she glanced toward the Zhao family courtyard. Then she leaned in and whispered, “She was the one who picked the fight. Add in what happened yesterday, and Director Huang scolded her and immediately suspended her from work, told her to go home and reflect, and write a self-criticism. Wait, didn’t you see her come back this morning?”
“Maybe I was cooking and missed her.”
“You really should’ve come out and seen the look on her face,” Zhao Li said gloatingly. “I bet she was furious today. She might even quit the job altogether.”
“Maybe not. Things blew up yesterday, and yet she still showed up to work at the state-run cafeteria this morning, didn’t she?”
“That’s true. But Director Huang said, if she wants to come back to work, she has to submit a proper self-criticism,” Zhao Li lifted her chin. “You think Gao Xiulian can actually write one?”
…
Gao Xiulian had absolutely no intention of writing a self-criticism!
Why should she?
It was clearly that b*tch Wang Qing who set her up—why should she be the one writing a self-criticism?
Listening to her rant, Zhao Feng grew impatient. “Then don’t write it. I’m not forcing you. Why are you yelling at me?”
Gao Xiulian flopped backward in frustration. “This whole thing isn’t even my fault. Why should I write a self-criticism? That guy Huang is just biased toward Wang Qing. He’s not punishing her, but I have to write something before I can go back to work? Why?!”
Then she noticed Zhao Feng showed not the slightest sign of anger. She raised her voice. “Zhao Feng! Are you even a man? Your wife’s being bullied like this, and you don’t even feel a thing?!”
Yesterday, Zhao Feng had thought things might calm down now that Gao Xiulian had been transferred to the back kitchen. But today she got into a fight and was kicked out of the state-run cafeteria.
If she could admit she was wrong, Zhao Feng might not be so annoyed. But her utter lack of remorse made his anger flare. He said, “You want to know why you have to write a self-criticism? Fine, let’s break it down.”
“First, even if Wang Qing did set you up, it started because you provoked her first. What did I tell you before you went to the cafeteria? Keep a low profile, don’t stir up trouble. But no, you went in and immediately offended people. If you had the skills, maybe it wouldn’t matter. But you don’t. You went from working the food window to washing vegetables in the back. You think she’d go easy on you now?”
“Second, assuming Wang Qing did set you up, it’s been a month since you first offended her. What’s she done in that time? Nothing. She waited patiently, laid a trap, and made it look completely justified.”
Seeing Gao Xiulian’s face turn pale, Zhao Feng kept going. “And you—without even confirming whether it was intentional—rushed in and started a fight. Don’t you get it? No matter who was right or wrong, you struck first. That makes you the one in the wrong! And you have the nerve to accuse Director Huang of favoritism?”
Gao Xiulian, while petty, wasn’t completely stupid. Zhao Feng’s words hit home, and she realized she had indeed acted foolishly.
But his blunt tone made it hard for her to admit fault. So she said coldly, “So in the end, you just don’t want to help me pull strings to keep my job.”
Zhao Feng nodded. “I think it’s better if you don’t go back to work at the cafeteria.”
Gao Xiulian was livid. You don’t want me to go back? Then I’ll go back just to spite you!
So what if it’s a self-criticism?
I’ll write it!
…
Even though she didn’t believe she was wrong, Gao Xiulian forced herself to churn out a typo-filled self-criticism just to impress Zhao Feng.
Director Huang had asked for the self-criticism mainly as a disciplinary move, to keep her from treating the cafeteria like her personal playground and stirring up trouble for everyone.
But he never intended to actually fire her. As a military spouse, Zhao Feng still deserved some respect.
So, though his mouth twitched as he read her error-ridden self-criticism, Director Huang didn’t make things hard for her and said, “Since you’ve sincerely admitted your mistake, we’ll let this matter rest.”
Gao Xiulian brightened. “Thank you, Director Huang!”
“No need to thank me,” Director Huang waved her off. “I just hope you’ll do your job properly from now on, don’t act on impulse, and get along with your colleagues. Can you do that?”
Gao Xiulian immediately said, “Don’t worry, Director Huang. I’ll definitely get along with everyone.”
Her quick answer surprised Director Huang. Given how she behaved after her last two incidents, he had expected her to submit the self-criticism without really accepting fault.
But now… could it be that this suspension and self-reflection had actually worked?
Though Gao Xiulian didn’t know what Director Huang was thinking, she noticed his surprise and proactively explained, “Actually, after your criticism the other day, I already felt regret. I’ve reflected seriously these past few days. I was too impulsive before. Serving half a liang less rice to Comrade Jiang Ling really was my mistake. I didn’t handle it well, and that’s what led to the mess. You had no choice but to transfer me to the back kitchen…”
After finishing her reflection on the food-serving incident, Gao Xiulian continued talking about the quarrel:
“I know, Comrade Wang Qing said those things to motivate me. It was my own overly rigid thinking that caused the misunderstanding. Please don’t worry, once I leave your office, I’ll apologize to her and ask for her forgiveness.”
Compared to what was written in her self-criticism letter, this speech was much better. At the very least, Director Huang truly believed that she had recognized her mistake. As for why the written self-criticism was so poorly done—well, low literacy level, didn’t recognize many characters—understandable.
Pleased, Director Huang went out and called Wang Qing into the office to help mediate the matter.
When she heard that Gao Xiulian had admitted her mistake and wanted to apologize, Wang Qing couldn’t hide her surprise. She and Gao Xiulian had come to join the military households around the same time and had some early interactions as newcomers in the family quarters. But they never really got along, and the relationship faded.
Though they weren’t close, Wang Qing had a clear idea of what kind of person Gao Xiulian was. Someone so petty and vengeful—after she set her up, Gao Xiulian wasn’t holding a grudge and even sincerely admitted fault and wanted to apologize?
She didn’t believe it.
Still, even if she didn’t believe it, since Gao Xiulian had spoken up and a leader was watching, Wang Qing smiled and said,
“Although you insulted me for no reason earlier, and I was really upset, since it was a misunderstanding and you’ve apologized, let’s put the matter to rest.”
Hearing her, Gao Xiulian was fuming inside, but she pretended to breathe a sigh of relief and said,
“You really are a generous girl. It was me being narrow-minded before.”
In front of Director Huang, the two spoke politely and quickly reconciled. But once they left his office, the atmosphere between them was far from friendly.
Behind the restaurant was a courtyard with two rows of buildings, one horizontal and one vertical. The large kitchen, storage room, and Director Huang’s office were all located there.
After crossing the yard, Wang Qing suddenly stopped and said,
“By the way, congrats on submitting your self-criticism and getting back to work in the kitchen. Since you’ve come around, let me give you a bit of advice—don’t be so impulsive in the future. After all, not everyone is as easygoing as I am, right?”
At the mention of the self-criticism letter, Gao Xiulian could no longer hold it in. She gritted her teeth and said,
“Don’t get smug, Wang Qing. One day, I’ll make you pay!”
“Make me pay?” Wang Qing raised an eyebrow and looked her up and down, then smiled and said,
“Alright, I’ll be waiting.”
With that, she turned and walked into the restaurant hall.
Watching her back, Gao Xiulian clenched her fists in anger, then turned and left the restaurant through a side door.
Although she had put on a good show in front of Director Huang, Gao Xiulian still felt humiliated thinking about how she had to write a self-criticism letter to return to the state-run restaurant.
Because of this humiliation, she didn’t want to return to work right away after submitting the letter. She told Director Huang that she had something to handle at home and would start again the next day.
But even after leaving the restaurant, her mood didn’t improve much.
News of her argument with Wang Qing and her being kicked out of the state-run restaurant had already spread. Once she returned to the kitchen, everyone would immediately guess she had written a self-criticism letter.
Even people she passed on the street, seeing her returning from that direction, might guess the same.
What were they thinking when they saw her?
Were they laughing at her on the inside? Thinking she was a disgrace?
Were they, like Zhao Feng, thinking she kept doing stupid things and was beyond help?
The more Gao Xiulian thought about it, the more regretful she felt. How could she be so foolish? Why did she let someone stir her up and rush to the restaurant to argue with Wang Qing?
Stir her up?
Yes—instigation!
If Lin Wei hadn’t deliberately told her those things being said outside, provoking her anger, she wouldn’t have lost her temper and argued with Wang Qing without thinking!
It was all Lin Wei’s fault!
At that thought, Gao Xiulian suddenly stopped in her tracks and looked up to find herself standing on the path between the Zong and Zhao homes. From here, she could clearly hear Lin Wei’s annoyed voice from the Zong family courtyard:
“Zong Zeming! Do you want a beating?”
Though she sounded annoyed, her tone was still cheerful—completely opposite to Gao Xiulian’s mood. That disparity made Gao Xiulian feel even more resentful.
Why?
Why did Lin Wei get to laugh so happily while she was left in such a sorry state because of her words? Didn’t she feel the slightest bit guilty?
No need to ask—Gao Xiulian already knew the answer: absolutely not.
Everyone else in the family quarters always said how nice Lin Wei was, how righteous she acted. But Gao Xiulian knew how fake she was and how petty her heart truly was.
Just like their first argument—Gao Xiulian had spoken with good intentions, but how did Lin Wei react? She twisted everything, slapped a label on her.
And ever since then, whenever they met, Lin Wei would give her that annoying “I’m not even going to bother looking at you properly” attitude. Just seeing her was infuriating.
Gao Xiulian figured Lin Wei had held a grudge ever since she ruined her job opportunity. Maybe she’d been secretly plotting revenge ever since.
Otherwise, why would Lin Wei just so happen to be sitting in the courtyard that morning, right when she was heading to work? Why would she and Yang Yi say all those instigating things?
Lin Wei must’ve planned it—deliberately goading her, pushing her to fight with Wang Qing, so she’d lose her job.
Realizing Lin Wei’s malicious intent, Gao Xiulian finally calmed down.
You lost your job and didn’t want me to have it easy either, huh?
Well, too bad—I won’t let you win!
Not only will I work hard, I’ll strive to get reassigned to the front counter as soon as possible—just to spite you!
With that resolve, when she returned to the state-run restaurant, Gao Xiulian threw herself into her work. She was so diligent that even her fellow kitchen staff looked at her with new eyes, and Director Huang couldn’t help but start thinking—
If writing a self-criticism works this well, then whenever anyone acts up, he won’t need to think of other punishments. Just make them all write one!
Everyone else at the restaurant: “…”
Although she didn’t know what Director Huang was thinking, Gao Xiulian could clearly feel his gaze becoming more approving and his attitude toward her softening. She was convinced her job transfer was just around the corner.
Just imagining Lin Wei’s face when she heard that she was reassigned back to the front counter made Gao Xiulian laugh out loud in her sleep.
What she didn’t expect, though, was that before she could get her job back—Lin Wei’s own job had already been finalized again!
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