Chapter 016

Hate?

Why did Shen Qing suddenly say something like that?

Zhaoxue felt her mind go completely blank. She didn’t know how to answer.

The last time she spoke in front of Shen Qing, she had said something like, “I would rather die in the snow than be adopted by the Shen family.” Was Shen Qing asking her this question because of that?

“That year, after I lost the baby, you came to the Shen family. Although the Shen family adopted you and gave you the name Zhaoxue, as your mother, I did not fulfill even the slightest responsibility I should have back then — I didn’t even want to look at you properly.”

Zhaoxue was stunned.

As Shen Qing spoke, she indeed recalled those years again.

The year she learned she was not a biological child of the Shen family, she hid behind a wall and overheard Shen Qing’s hysterical, suppressed words of anger when she was confronted by the family head’s persuasion.

— “My child died. Why does she get to live and even take my child’s name!?”

At that time, little Zhaoxue felt as if the sky was collapsing. All the blood in her body seemed to flow backward, gradually growing cold, and her heart seemed to stop beating.

She realized then that she was not truly a child of this family.

Her mother did not love her—not because she did anything wrong, but because she was not her mother’s daughter… and even took the place of her mother’s original daughter.

Zhaoxue came back to her senses. She lowered her head, wrapped her arms around her wrists, trying to pull herself away from those feelings.

“Yes, you said those words back then. For a child so young to hear them, pain and despair were only natural. But even then, I understood clearly that it was precisely because I was not your biological daughter that I was treated that way. Knowing this, what right do I have to hate you?”

“Taxue, she was picked up by you when she was very young, right?”

Shen Qing suddenly said.

“Yes.”

Why bring this up all of a sudden again…

“At that time, you were still just a kid. One day, you suddenly came to me holding a tiny, barely breathing kitten. For the first time, you begged me to find a doctor to treat it, your eyes full of tears,” Shen Qing murmured, lost in her memories. “You had never asked me for anything before. The first time was for a stray cat.”

“…”

“Later, you developed a slight allergy to cat fur, so you had Taxue let Ji Xueshou take it home to raise. But he always secretly brought the cat to visit you.”

“You knew about this?”

“Of course I knew. Otherwise, how could he come and go so freely every time?”

“Thank you for your concern. But why are you telling me all this now…?”

“Because, Zhaoxue, you also understand this truth— even a stray kitten or puppy, when taken in by someone, will be treated with care, not just as a toy or amusement to be discarded. Just feeding them enough so they’re not hungry isn’t enough. What a child needs is attention, companionship… At that time, because of my terribly poor mental state, I couldn’t give you that. Instead, I selfishly vented my anger on you.”

“…”

“Zhaoyang, as the eldest daughter, was raised with great expectations and grew well under my hopes. That child, Zhaolan, was born after I had emerged from that dark period. She was the youngest and was loved and carefree as she grew up. Only you…”

“…”

“When I finally realized my mistakes, it was already too late. By then, you had become like that… You no longer trusted any of us. You learned to hide your true thoughts, never revealing your real feelings in front of us. Whenever I looked at you, it was like seeing a high wall—you were inside, coldly watching all of us, while no one could ever know what was truly in your heart.”

“Then why did you come now…?”

My rebellious, cold second daughter, whose childhood has already turned into a barren ruin—now you come, wanting to shed a few tears on that ruin?

Zhaoxue lowered her head, clutching her skirt tightly, biting her teeth, feeling something rising in her throat.

“The night you were kidnapped, you came to my room. Before you came, I kept thinking about you, Zhaoxue. I really wanted to say something to you, but at that time I didn’t realize how serious things were. Until you said those words, then I suddenly realized that some wounds cannot be undone.”

As Shen Qing spoke, her eyes finally reddened slightly, regret showing on her face.

“When you were kidnapped, I finally felt that feeling too — my blood froze, as if the sky was collapsing. I knew your body was so weak, you barely had any ability to protect yourself, you didn’t even need those villains to lay a hand on you —”

“…”

“When you woke up after falling into the water, I also thought about how I would handle such a situation in the future, but I never imagined it would come so soon. Zhaoxue, I can only be grateful that you’re okay.”

“Is that why you agreed to let me go with my eldest sister to hunt down the demons?”

Zhaoxue closed her eyes.

“Yes. Before that, I always thought staying at home was not only safe but also gave me plenty of time to think about how to make it up to you.”

Shen Qing frowned as she looked at her, emotions tangled and pressing hard inside her chest, struggling to speak:

“…But later I slowly realized, what you needed might not have been compensation at all. You just needed to be far away from me—far away from this place.”

“Yes, Zhaoxue, that’s what you truly need.”

Shen Qing smiled, looking at her with a gaze both confused and painful, but forcing a rare smile she had never shown before:

“Zhaoxue, I made up my mind to say these things to you—not to ask for your forgiveness, nor to seek any reconciliation. Not all scars will ever disappear. You only need to look forward.”

“Look forward, move forward, your future life truly belongs to you, Zhaoxue.”

—

The evening market was crowded, a sea of people, with shouting, selling, and laughter mixing with the smell of street food, all sounds filling the air.

Just like Zhaolan said, it was bustling and lively.

Zhaoxue waited for Zhaolan at the agreed spot, the guards trailing far behind.

But it felt even more stifling than she expected. Without familiar people nearby, Zhaoxue usually preferred to spend time in the backyard or play chess alone.

She wouldn’t come to the streets alone to join a festival celebration—it made her feel like an outsider.

She waited by a small stall when a cool breeze blew, and suddenly she felt a sting at the corner of her eyes.

Zhaoxue touched her dry, aching eyes.

How annoying—when will I ever get rid of this habit of bursting into tears so easily?

Zhaolan only finished carefully doing her makeup at dusk—I wonder if it got smudged.

Zhaoxue turned around, listening to the stall owners loudly promoting their goods.

“Jewelry! Beautiful jewelry! Give it to the girl you like during the Lantern Festival!”

“Cute rabbit and goldfish lanterns, loved by both adults and children!”

“Shaved ice—available in all flavors—”

Zhaoxue wasn’t interested in these things, but she noticed a stall selling masks that were very popular.

There were all kinds, colorful and diverse styles.

She reached out and picked up a simple mask. The stall owner saw her, was momentarily stunned by her beauty, then eagerly started recommending masks.

“Miss, are you looking to buy a mask? What style do you like? I have gorgeous ones, funny ones—feel free to take a look!”

Zhaoxue ran her fingers over the uneven patterns on the mask and suddenly remembered Shen Qing’s words.

“The most important thing about going out is to feel comfortable and happy. Don’t you think so?”

She touched the corner of her eye.

The tear stains were still there, but with the evening light, they probably weren’t noticeable. As for her makeup, she wasn’t sure if it was smudged.

That last conversation with Shen Qing had unexpectedly loosened the tension in her tightly wound heart. Now, when she recalled Shen Qing’s words and the strange emotions that had welled up inside her then, she felt a bit lost and wistful.

She put the mask down and shook her head. “Thank you, but I’m not going to buy one right now…”

When she looked up, she saw a familiar figure not far away.

The person she had never wanted to approach before was now wearing dark clothes, leaning against the railing, holding a sword, standing quietly in the fading lights.

His eyes stood still, quietly watching, without the terrifying aura he carried when taking action. Zhaoxue couldn’t clearly see his expression, but she could sense how out of place he was in the lively surroundings. He stood alone, lonely, as if two completely different worlds existed between him and the bustling environment around.

Zhaoxue felt a stir in her heart.

“How much is this?”

“Three qian.”

Zhaoxue put on the simplest half-face white mask and slowly walked toward him.

In just a few hundred meters, she saw several shy young girls who had come to give him lanterns, but none of them left without disappointment.

“Are you waiting for someone?” Zhaoxue asked.

Jiang Lingfeng stepped aside into the shadows on one side, while the flickering light from the dragon-and-fish lanterns swept across the other side of his cold, hard face, giving a brief illusion of softness.

He crossed his arms and answered coldly, “Yes.”

He actually answered.

Zhaoxue was a little surprised, she thought he would ignore her question. After all, those pretty girls, even when offering the most beautiful lanterns, only earned his cold shake of the head, without a single word coming from his tightly pressed lips.

“Who are you waiting for, sir?”

“That’s none of your business,” Jiang Lingfeng replied, not raising his eyes, sparing words as usual.

“You’re holding a sword and look like someone from the Immortal Sect. Could it be you’re waiting for your fellow senior disciples?”

“…”

It seemed he really was waiting for Eldest Sister Zhaoyang.

Just as the story said, their bond as sectmates was deep.

“Yes, indeed, we are from the same sect.”

While Zhaoxue was distracted, he slowly parted his lips and said, “We’re about to leave here soon, so we happened to come to the market to buy some food and supplies for the journey.”

Just buying supplies?

Zhaoxue didn’t believe it. Taking advantage of her position in the shadows and wearing a mask, she quietly fixed a suspicious gaze on Jiang Lingfeng, trying to read any clues from his expression or movements.

The man was silent for a moment, then slowly raised his eyes. “Miss, are you also waiting for someone?”

“Yeah, waiting for a friend.”

Zhaoxue answered absentmindedly and continued observing him.

Jiang Lingfeng’s eyelashes were long and thick, both upper and lower lashes jet black, naturally curved downward. When his eyes were lowered, you couldn’t see his gaze clearly, only when he looked up could you see his pupils. Even then, it was impossible to grasp the calm thoughts hidden deep within.

“The night wind is cold,”

The dragon lanterns danced above their heads, casting a lingering warm light. Jiang Lingfeng finally turned sideways and lowered his head to look at her.

“Miss, you’ve just recovered from a serious illness, take care of yourself.”

Zhaoxue was momentarily stunned. “Thank you…”

…Wait, what?!

Didn’t the story say that with the mask on, he wouldn’t recognize her?

Lies!!!