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Upon hearing Jiang Zhanwei’s words, Lu Man couldn’t help but be moved, yet she couldn’t immediately accept him. Wiping her tears with a handkerchief, she slowly said, “We started in such a way, I made mistakes first, made you angry, made you hate me… I know, the reason you left this family for the army, risking your life on the battlefield, was to abandon me, the woman who brought you shame, on the day of your success…”
Jiang Zhanwei had no defense, reluctantly admitting, “Yes, I won’t deny it, that was indeed my initial thought. But…”
Lu Man continued, “You set the terms of our relationship, and I thought we would always live like that. I almost daily wondered how I would survive being abandoned, how I could leave here for Zhankui and little Jiu to live better. Truly, I’ve been thinking about these things and preparing for them. But now, you suddenly changed your mind, leaving me unprepared… Third Young Master, until now, I don’t know what kind of feelings you have towards me, I can’t understand you, can’t see into your heart. You brought it up, I dare not object, nor do I dare hope for mutual love. But, I hope Third Young Master can at least give me some respect, because my identity is that of a wife, not just to please a man… I, I’m not unwilling, it’s just that, I wasn’t prepared, I’m afraid… not just mentally, but, my body is afraid too… just thinking about it, my body hurts… Third Young Master, can you give me some time, so that my heart and body can accept it…”
As Lu Man spoke, her body began to ache again, her face pale, sweat beading on her forehead, but she persisted in finishing her words.
Seeing Lu Man in this state, Jiang Zhanwei knew she was genuinely afraid, both ashamed and distressed. Who could she blame besides him? He hurriedly said, “Don’t be nervous, I won’t force you. I can wait, until before deployment, until you’ve figured it out, then I’ll come back.”
Upon hearing his words, Lu Man felt a weight lifted from her heart, her body relaxing, a hint of blush returning to her face.
Deeply helpless, Jiang Zhanwei said, “Manman, if I tell you I’ve had a change of heart, that I genuinely adore you, would you believe me?”
Lu Man lowered her head, thinking she didn’t believe, or dare to believe. Perhaps he felt guilty towards her, perhaps he admired her, even used her, but she didn’t believe he could genuinely adore her. He was as tough as iron, ruthless, and cunning, with a hidden agenda. Besides his two siblings, she couldn’t believe he would truly like anyone.
She responded, “Throughout this journey, your actions have left me puzzled.”
Jiang Zhanwei chuckled bitterly, “You don’t believe me?” Seeing Lu Man’s silent agreement, he shook his head self-deprecatingly, saying, “But I genuinely adore you. If a man doesn’t genuinely adore a woman, why would he do so much for her?”
Lu Man wanted to say, “I don’t truly like you”, but she had still done so much for him.
Noticing Lu Man’s silence, Jiang Zhanwei knew she still harbored some resistance towards him in her heart, so he let go of his final hope. He instructed, “Grandparents are your greatest support. Even after the separation, you must still respect and care for them, maintaining your daily rituals. When the eldest Madam returns, if she doesn’t cause trouble, then all will be well. But if she dares to mistreat you again, don’t endure it, seek help from the elders. As for others, you are more adept at handling interpersonal matters than me. You have taught Zhankui and Little Jiu well, allow them to continue like that… The relationship between brother Xie and sister-in-law Xie must be maintained… Ensure you have guards when you go out, avoid taverns and shops… When it comes to saving lives, helping the poor, you can help as many as you wish, but when it involves the noble families, whether to help or not, you must listen to grandmother. Currently, you are not a Physician, and sometimes good intentions can lead to bad outcomes… No matter how difficult things get, never leave this home, even if someone forces you to. If that person and the Wang family can resort to such methods, it shows how much you displease her. Without the protection of this home, you’ll be in even greater danger…”
As he went through these instructions, Lu Man’s eyes welled up again. Her emotions were incredibly conflicted at this moment. Despite his words, even if he didn’t love her, he genuinely had her best interests at heart. But considering his personality, she feared that accepting him would only lead to hurt. Choking up, she said, “Third Young Master, take care of yourself, please don’t die. Even if you return triumphant and decide to abandon me, I still hope for your safe return.”
Jiang Zhanwei’s nose tingled with bitterness as he replied, “You are truly a silly woman. Rest assured, I have a thousand soldiers under my command, along with the medicine you provided and the camouflaged uniforms you designed, it won’t be easy for me to die. If I return, regardless of my achievements or rank, I won’t leave you. We will live happily together…”
Seeing Lu Man’s blushing face, her nose red, and her eyelashes trembling as tears rolled down her cheeks, Jiang Zhanwei’s body tensed suddenly, feeling as though countless fireballs were erupting inside him, ready to explode and consume him.
He quickly got off the kang and urged, “Go rest. We are likely to set out for battle at the end of the twelfth lunar month. Despite urgent matters, I will find a way to visit home before leaving.” Then, raising his voice, he called out, “Liu Ya, come in and prepare my bed, and the bathwater.”
Mama Wang and Liu Ya hurried in. Liu Ya headed to the cleansing room while Mama Wang fetched blankets and mats to lay on the kang.
After freshening up, Jiang Zhanwei emerged, and Lu Man, unable to look at him, lowered her head and entered the bedroom.
Mama Wang, sighing sadly on the side, felt that Lu Man had missed a prime opportunity to become a mother. In her view, it was currently the mid-stage of Lu Man’s menstrual cycle, the optimal time for conception. Because of Lu Man, Mama Wang also learned when women are most fertile.
Unable to sleep and tossing and turning, Lu Man thought about his words…
The next day, Lu Man woke up to find that Jiang Zhanwei had already left.
Liu Ya helped her get dressed, blushing as she whispered, “Before Third Young Master left, he asked this servant to tell Third Young Madam to think of one good thing about him every day. That way, when you see him again, you’ll hold less resentment towards him.”
Lu Man sighed and went to the eastern room. She looked at the neatly arranged kang, covered with crimson plush blankets, a lacquered small table in the center, holding a fruit tray and a flower vase. It seemed as if no one had slept here just a moment ago.
The voice of Jiang Zhanwei echoed in her ears again, his instructions falling like scalding water droplets on her heart, making it hard for her to catch her breath.