Chapter 17

The snow behind them crunched underfoot, and both of them turned their heads simultaneously, seeing Shen Zhong’an walking towards them, his steps deep and shallow in the snow.

“What are you two doing huddled here?” he asked.

“Eating the cornbread,” Shen Yu said.

Shen Zhong’an smiled knowingly and took a cornbread from his chest, handing it to her.

Food was scarce. A general only received a bowl of porridge and a piece of cornbread. Her father and brother both wanted to save the best for her.

Finally, Shen Yu couldn’t hold back anymore and said with red eyes, “I just ate, I can’t eat anymore.”

The army had run out of food. Just filling one’s stomach was considered fortunate; there was no chance to eat until satisfied.

Shen Zhong’an kicked Shen Zhao, who moved aside, and he sat between them, handing the cornbread to Shen Yu, saying, “Eat, tomorrow we’ll slaughter the horses and let all the soldiers eat their fill. Only then can they muster the energy to fight again.”

Slaughtering the horses was the final decision without any retreat. It was the last meal before facing death.

No one spoke. They just let the cold wind howl over the hills and blow away into the distance.

Shen Zhong’an embraced his two children, looking into the distance, and said, “Beyond Heique Mountain is the land inside the Pass. Dazhou has stood here for hundreds of years. This land beneath our feet has buried countless hero’s bones.”

“I used to wonder, if one day I died far from home, what would your mother do? Later, she left so early. She asked me to bury her in the flattest land inside Heique Mountain. She said if that day ever came, I could reunite with her by following the river downstream.”

Shen Yu’s eyes were sour.

In her past life, she hadn’t come to the border and hadn’t heard her father say such farewell words. She had rushed thousands of miles from Shengjing and buried her father and brother’s broken bones in the Shen family’s ancestral grave.

She wasn’t afraid of death; she just hated it. Heroes should die valiantly on the battlefield, not be trapped and die miserably here.

Shen Zhong’an patted his children’s shoulders calmly, then stood up and walked back.

“Dad…” Shen Yu wanted to say something, but Shen Zhong’an raised his hand and waved, his deep voice carried in the wind.

“Scholars die for their principles, soldiers die in battle. This…this should be the fate of a soldier.”

The winter outside the Pass was so cold.

Shen Zhong’an looked up at the sky. He couldn’t leave…

Once they left, the Western Barbarians would be able to take Yanliang Pass directly. There were hundreds of thousands of civilians inside the Pass, who needed their bodies to build the city walls.

So this battle was destined to be lost but not to retreat.

But his daughter wasn’t a soldier. She still had a long way to go. He couldn’t let her young body be buried here, let alone let the Western Barbarians’ warhorses trample her into the mud.

The two watched Shen Zhong’an leave, and Shen Zhao took off the pouch from his waist and handed it to her.

Shen Yu took it, sniffed it, and smiled. “It’s baijiu.”

“Drink a little to warm yourself up, but don’t drink too much,” Shen Zhao advised.

Shen Yu took a sip. The strong liquor burned down her throat, warming her entire body.

She handed it back to him, but Shen Zhao shook his head and looked towards the camp. “Pass a message to her for me.”

“Who?” Shen Yu asked, tilting her head.

Shen Zhao’s gaze softened as he looked towards Shengjing. “Tell her not to wait for me.”

Shen Yu understood who he meant. Her eyes instantly reddened. “I can’t pass on that message. You have to tell her yourself when you go back.”

Shen Zhao smiled. “Forget it. Don’t say anything to her. This way is best. With time, we’ll both forget.”

Shen Yu shook her head. How could she forget? How could she easily forget the person who had been engraved into her bones? Miss Yu hadn’t married anyone until she died.

She looked at Shen Zhao’s face, her gaze gradually becoming unfocused.

She shook her head, her gaze even more scattered. “You… you put it in the wine…”

Shen Zhao didn’t wait for her to finish her words. He patted her head and pressed it against his shoulder. “Ah Yu, don’t seek revenge. Just keep moving forward, just live your own life. Both brother and dad are watching over you.”

After saying this, he lowered his head and saw the girl already asleep on his shoulder.

He carried her on his back, silently walking towards the south side of the camp, just like he had walked with her on his back before.

Cha Cha, Cha Cha

Ah Yu, from now on, you’ll have to walk this road alone.

Three miles south of the camp, a small team of soldiers stood in formation.

Shen Zhong’an led the way on horseback and dismounted as Shen Zhao approached, taking the unconscious Shen Yu in his arms.

The heavy snow had long stopped, and the moonlit snow emitted a faint white light.

They bid farewell in silence. No one spoke a word except for the sound of footsteps and the clinking of armor, accompanied by the horses’ breaths.

After settling Shen Yu, the two mounted their horses.

Shen Zhao flicked his whip and pointed in a direction, saying to Kong Qing, “Keep heading in this direction, and you’ll reach the fief of the Northern Lin King.”

Kong Qing knelt down. “General—”

“I’m entrusting her to you,” Shen Zhao said seriously. “Protect her. This is my final order to you.”

Kong Qing’s face turned solemn, his eyes a crimson red. “Yes, I will obey!”

“Let’s go,” Shen Zhong’an urged.

He turned his horse’s head, moving slowly. He heard the fading hoofbeats of the squad behind him.

He wanted to take one last look at his daughter, but ultimately couldn’t bring himself to turn back.

Forget it. Whether he looked or not, the outcome would be the same. Gatherings and partings had their time, and there would be another meeting in the future.

…

The sound of hooves echoed in her ears, and she gradually woke up amidst the bumps.

Shen Yu slowly opened her eyes, greeted by darkness. Her body still felt half paralyzed.

She tried to move her arm, and the person in front of her seemed to notice that she had awakened, lifting the cloak covering her head.

“Miss.”

She recognized Kong Qing’s voice, but the glaring light made her instantly shut her eyes. “Where am I?”

Kong Qing looked ahead. “We’re a hundred miles north, and another half-day’s ride will get us to the river, then we’ll go around…”

“Put me down!” Shen Yu demanded.

By now, she could see everything around her. About a dozen people traveled with them, and she and Kong Qing shared a horse. Perhaps fearing she might fall in her unconscious state, Kong Qing had tied her to his own back.

The horse continued northward, and Kong Qing didn’t turn it around.

Shen Yu tried to struggle but found her entire body restrained.

Sensing her intent, Kong Qing said, “Miss, I am under General’s orders to escort you back to Shengjing.”

Shen Yu’s voice turned sharp. “I’m not going back to the capital. My father and brother are still outside Yanliang Pass. Do you want me to abandon them and escape alone?”

Kong Qing remained silent.

“Kong Qing, are you intending to desert?” Shen Yu asked.

“We are not deserters!”

“If we’re not deserters, then follow me back to fight.”

Kong Qing suddenly reined in his horse, dismounted, and stood to the side. “Miss, we cannot go back. Liang Jianfang has blocked the city. The food inside the Pass cannot be transported out, and the soldiers outside the Pass cannot return. This is a deadlock.”

“What if it’s a deadlock?” Shen Yu said resolutely. “Are you willing to live in guilt for the rest of your life, or would you rather kill a few Xijue and die gloriously?”

Kong Qing was speechless, but his unwillingness was evident on his face.

Shen Yu continued, “Only to die on the battlefield for the country is necessary, there’s no need to wrap oneself in a horse’s hide. This is the first poem my father taught me. I won’t retreat. Even if I have to be buried there, I want to see the Xijue driven back by future generations.”

Kong Qing’s eyes were filled with determination as he raised his head. “We won’t retreat.”

“Then untie my acupoints.”

Kong Qing stared at her face, struggling internally. After a moment, he understood what she wanted to do. “Miss, you can’t!”

Before he could finish his words, blood oozed from Shen Yu’s lips.

“Do you untie them?” she threatened.

Forcing one’s internal energy to break through acupoints was extremely damaging to the body, and in severe cases, one’s martial arts could be lost.

Kong Qing felt as if an invisible knife were at his throat, and he had no choice but to quickly untie her acupoints.

In the next moment, Shen Yu grabbed the reins and turned the horse’s head. “I have to go back. This is an irreversible path. You can choose to leave on your own, or you can choose to fight back with me.”

The soldiers tightened their grip on the reins. “We’ll stand with the Miss!”

“Count me in!”

“Let’s kill some Xijue at least!”

Kong Qing sighed heavily, grasped the reins, and climbed onto another horse.

Note: “Liang Jianfang” refers to the enemy’s general who has blocked the city.