“No, ge, I’m just a little surprised. When did you start—” Yun Han dared not look into Du Yunyan’s eyes.

He had known Du Yunyan for thirteen years, since he came to this mountain village. At that time, he was not yet ten years old, and Du Yunyan was only in his teens. In his eyes, Du Yunyan was a gentle brother figure. Both of them were children from single-parent families, and their parents got along well, often visiting each other’s homes. For Yun Han, Du Yunyan was the closest person to him after his mother.

But just now, this close brother had confided his most secret feelings to him, a forbidden love that he had never heard of before.

“Do you like me?” Du Yunyan paused slightly, “Although I’ve always been gay, I gradually realized these feelings for you in the past two years, especially when Auntie passed away, and I saw how in pain you were… I really wanted to accompany you well, but the matter of Auntie brought you so much pressure, I didn’t dare to tell you easily, so I postponed it until now. You can take your time to consider. If you don’t dislike it, if you can accept it, I would be very willing to be with you.”

A wave of heat rose on Yun Han’s face. He didn’t understand this kind of feeling, but Du Yunyan’s words didn’t embarrass or disgust him. However, thinking about his decision next, his eyes quickly dimmed.

“I’m sorry, I can’t—” he hesitated for a moment, “Ge, I haven’t told you yet, but I’m actually planning to go to S City.”

“Have you decided?” Du Yunyan’s tone didn’t show much surprise.

“Yeah, I’ve wanted to go out and see the world for a long time, to try a different life,” he said, “When I was younger, my grades were not good, and I couldn’t get into a good school. Now that I’m in my twenties, my mother is no longer here, and I’m alone. I don’t want to have any regrets.”

“Do you know what you want to do?” Du Yunyan asked with concern.

He nodded, “I want to learn pastry making.”

“I had a feeling early on you might not stay here forever.”

Yun Han turned his head. “What about you? Do you really want to live like this for the rest of your life?”

“Yeah,” he said firmly, “I won’t leave.”

“Oh, I see…” Yun Han’s expression faltered slightly. “Ge, you’re so good at studying. But back then… don’t you have any regrets?”

There was a bit of wind on the country road, brushing past the trees and houses, sounding like a low, sobbing voice.

“Even if I went to college, I would still come back. The result would be the same,” the emotions in Du Yunyan’s eyes were difficult to discern. He didn’t continue the topic, “Yun Han, since you’ve made your decision, go ahead boldly. I’ll bless you.”

“Ge, you always think for me. I feel… if you hadn’t told me those things, it would be better.”

“Yun Han,” Du Yunyan walked to him and met his gaze, “Neither of us can make choices for the other. Only you can control your own heart. Tell me, do you want to leave?”

“…Yes,” he nodded, murmuring to himself.

 “I understand. I’ll be fine.”

There was a rustle behind them, and Du Yunyan looked alertly in that direction. “Is someone there?”

“Maybe it’s just the wind?” Yun Han guessed.

“Then let’s go back,” Du Yunyan lightly patted his back.

As the two walked away, Gu Wenxi, hiding behind the bushes, breathed heavily, his held breath relaxed.

To avoid suspicion by returning with them, he wandered around again before returning to the inn. Du Yunyan asked where he had been, and he deliberately pointed in the opposite direction.

Yun Han remained at the inn to help with chores, while Gu Wenxi had yet to snap out of the immense amount of information he had overheard. Du Yunyan appeared no different from before, not showing any signs of a recent romantic setback. It was Yun Han’s expression that seemed slightly conflicted, sneaking occasional glances towards Du Yunyan. This puzzled Gu Wenxi.

Of course, the fact that Du Yunyan liked men itself was unexpected to him. Although he was straight himself, he sometimes joked and teased his male friends, but he had never seriously considered another possible relationship between men. Even though he had noticed that Du Yunyan treated this boy differently, he only understood it as a special friendship.

No wonder he had taken his joke seriously in the morning. He was so serious about drawing boundaries because he wasn’t straight at all, making him particularly sensitive to jokes that weren’t serious.

Once this line of thought was opened, Yun Han’s reaction was worth pondering. Did Yun Han really have no feelings for him? Gu Wenxi didn’t think so. It’s just that this child, who grew up in the mountains, had other pursuits. If Du Yunyan could follow him, maybe they would be together.

However, Du Yunyan would rather part ways with the one he desired to be with, rather than take a single step out of the village. In this light, Yun Han seemed more like the abandoned one, not as calm as Du Yunyan.

“Mr. Gu? Mr. Gu?”

“Huh?” Gu Wenxi was immersed in his gossip-filled imagination. Du Yunyan had to call him twice before he snapped out of it. “What’s up?”

“Can you help me feed the chickens in the backyard?”

“Sure, I’ll go.” Despite being annoyed with Du Yunyan earlier for pushing him away, he now felt more relaxed being alone. Witnessing what had happened, caught between those two people, made his situation the most awkward.

The grains for feeding the chickens were prepared by Du Yunyan in advance, so Gu Wenxi didn’t need to do much. After placing the basin down, he squatted by the fence without hurrying to get up. Several chickens crowded around the basin, eagerly pecking at the food inside.

Every day in the mountains followed the same rhythm.

Is this the life Du Yunyan wants? Gu Wenxi closed his eyes, trying to imagine that person’s inner world.

“Hoo…” He slowly exhaled a puff of white mist. He didn’t want to go back inside the inn so quickly. After standing up, he picked up a small bucket to water the vegetables in the garden.

As for harboring love for another person, Gu Wenxi wasn’t sure if he had ever experienced such a feeling. True, he had been in relationships before, but it was out of curiosity about the experience of love and not an aversion to it. He had never confessed to anyone, but he had heard confessions from others. Wanting to be with someone… it sounded nice, neither of them would be lonely anymore.

But it wasn’t really like that.

When breaking up, Liang Qian told him that she had never felt like she had entered his heart. Wanting to get close to someone, only to drift further apart, that feeling must be desperate, right?

However, now he was also trying to probe into another person’s inner world.

….

The next morning, Yun Han came over again, and Du Yunyan’s happiness was a rare sincere expression, so was his current composure just a facade? Why could he easily disguise even such things?

Yun Han stayed until evening, and the next two days he came to help as well. He was indeed very diligent, efficient, and with Du Yunyan’s cooperation, they were tacit, almost leaving nothing for Gu Wenxi to do.

Two days later, the university students set off on their return journey early in the morning, and on the same afternoon, Cen Fei bid them farewell.

“Mr. Du,” she stood by the fence before leaving, saying to Du Yunyan, “If you change your mind, you can contact me anytime.”

“I…” Du Yunyan sighed lightly and smiled, “Thank you, Miss Cen.”

Having had some interactions with Cen Fei, Gu Wenxi naturally understood what she meant by “change your mind.” After she left, he took two steps forward, “Are you really willing to give up such a good opportunity?”

Du Yunyan glanced at him, “Do you think I should accept it?”

After a brief silence, Gu Wenxi suddenly chuckled softly, “No, if you accept it, you wouldn’t be the Du Yunyan I know.” He called out the other’s full name once again, then turned and walked towards the inn.

Du Yunyan said nothing, watching his figure disappear into the shadow in front of the building.