Chapter 30: Unpleasant Memories

Feng Bao’s words made the Emperor sigh.  He had loved his son since childhood and hadn’t slept well since his disappearance. Feng Bao’s words weren’t exaggerated.

“I heard you were injured. Have you seen an imperial physician?”

The Emperor, seeing his son’s silence, asked with concern.

“Yes, I’m fine.”

Xiao Jinyu stood still; the hall fell silent.

“That’s good.  It’s fortunate you’re back. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have the face to meet your mother in the afterlife.”

Mentioning Empress Wu, the Emperor’s expression turned somber.

He felt guilty towards Xiao Jinyu and his mother.  He had been an insignificant young general.  Many soldiers had fallen in battle, but he was unwilling to accept his fate. He wanted to achieve something.

His brilliant victories attracted the attention of the then-General, who arranged for him to meet his daughter, Wu Zhaoyan.  They married.

With the General’s support, he quickly gained a foothold among the warlords.

But he only used the General’s power; he didn’t have much affection for his wife.  His heart belonged to his childhood sweetheart, the current Empress Dou.

He clearly remembered Dou shi, relying on her eldest son, Xiao Jinshu, challenging the matriarch.  Wu Zhaoyan, upon learning the truth, laughed bitterly.  “No wonder, no wonder you wanted a concubine less than a year after our marriage.  If it weren’t for my father, you would have divorced me and made her your wife!”

He felt ashamed, angry, and resentful at being humiliated by his wife.

No man wants to be a kept man or blackmailed, especially by his wife.

Times change. He became a powerful city lord, and the General’s power was no match for his.  He no longer cared about personal feelings; he focused on unifying the empire and ascending to the throne, ignoring the conflicts between his wives.

Both Empress Wu and Empress Dou held the same weight in his heart, perhaps due to habit or because Dou shi had borne him two sons. He tended to favor Dou shi.

When Dou shi, relying on her favor, challenged Wu shi’s authority, he always defended Dou shi.  “She was my fiancee, and now she’s a concubine.  Can’t you just tolerate her? Dou shi comes from a humble background, unlike you.  Why can’t you accept her?”

“Accept her? Which concubine is as arrogant as she is? Which family head is as biased as you, favoring your concubine over your wife?  Even when you’re at war, you leave trusted men to protect them.

Did you ever think of me and Jinyu?  If you hadn’t indulged her, she wouldn’t have dared to act so brazenly.

She even dared to take my bird’s nest soup.  And the crossbow I prepared for Jinyu ended up in Jinshu’s hands.”

“It’s just a crossbow!  We can make another one.  Why are you making such a fuss?”

“Why make another one? I want that one. Since Father won’t do anything, I’ll get it myself.”

Eight-year-old Xiao Jinyu, seeing his mother’s anger and his father’s apathy, rushed out, beating his older brother until he was bruised, to retrieve the crossbow.

He was like his grandfather—violent and ruthless. Dou shi cried that a child shouldn’t be so cruel and demanded an explanation.  He had Jinyu give the crossbow to Jinshu as an apology, but Jinyu destroyed the crossbow rather than give it to his brother.

“You… you’re unreasonable! You’re not as well-behaved as Jinshu. I don’t have a son like you.”

This made the eight-year-old child distant from him and caused Wu shi to break with him.  After that, Wu shi never argued with him again; she wouldn’t even see him when he returned from war.

Xiao Jinyu never greeted him either.

He was a general; he couldn’t bow like a woman.  Wu shi was too proud, like a phoenix, never seeking reconciliation.

Dou shi, who grew up with him, always obeyed him.  Her gentleness made him comfortable.  He didn’t care about the women’s squabbles; he only wanted peace at home and obedient sons.

He favored Dou shi, but Wu shi was too proud, unwilling to yield, even if it meant hurting herself.  Xiao Jinyu was not yet ten when she died.

After Wu shi’s death, nine-year-old Xiao Jinyu joined Wu shi’s old subordinates on the battlefield.  He made great contributions, and he valued his eldest son.  Xiao Jinshu preferred studying; one was a warrior, the other a scholar.  Only the third son, Xiao Jin’yan, was unruly and unlearned.

Now, the empire was unified.  Those who had started with him lived well, including Dou shi, who was Empress.  Only Wu shi, the wife who had supported him, was gone.

As Xiao Jinyu grew older, he became more like his mother.  Seeing his son’s stubbornness, he remembered Wu shi’s accusations.

His eldest and third sons, born to Dou shi, were close to him, but the second son was like someone else’s child, distant and polite.

They were more like monarch and subject than father and son.

“If Your Majesty has nothing else, I’ll take my leave.” Xiao Jinyu’s expression was unreadable.

“Yes, go. You’ve suffered.  Rest well.”

Xiao Jinyu bowed and left without lingering.

“Why didn’t he ask anything? He won half the empire for me. Now, Jinshu is the Crown Prince, and even his fiancee is the Crown Prince’s concubine. Do you think he’s really willing to accept this?”

The Emperor watched Xiao Jinyu leave, asking quietly.