Haitang was the top courtesan of Caiqing Garden and was renowned in the capital.

As a famous courtesan, she naturally upheld certain principles— principles that typically manifested in her pickiness toward her clientele.

To become one of Haitang’s favored patrons, one needed more than just wealth. Talent was a requirement as well. And this talent wasn’t just about reciting a few poems or matching couplets. One had to possess a particular skill or profession capable of piquing Haitang’s interest.

There was one more crucial condition, which was a pleasing appearance. Without good looks, no matter how wealthy or talented a person was, Haitang wouldn’t spare him a second glance.

Ling Long happened to satisfy all of the above, so Haitang didn’t even glance at anyone else and headed straight toward his table.

“Young Master Ling Long, what brings you to our Caiqing Garden today?” Haitang’s cherry lips curved in a smile, and Helian Kong clutched his chest with a dramatic “Oh!”

Haitang’s gaze was instantly drawn to him. “This young master looks unfamiliar. How should I address you?”

Helian Kong leaned in close to Haitang, speaking with deep emotion, “My name is Lihua.”

Yin Yin: “……”

What kind of rogue prince was this? A complete disgrace to the royal family!

Clearly, this wasn’t the first time Haitang had heard something like this. She replied blandly, “Young Master, you are the eighth Lihua I’ve met this month.”

“Oh? Really?” Helian Kong showed no intention of self-reflection and continued gazing at Haitang with infatuation. “That just proves it’s a good name. As they say, ‘A tree of pear blossoms^[1]Lihua pressing down on a begonia^[2]Haitang'^[3]An older man with white hair pursuing or dominating a much younger woman. Such a beautiful image.”

Yin Yin: “……”

He actually said it out loud!

Haitang seemed slightly irritated and had no intention of paying Helian Kong any more attention. She turned to Ling Long instead. “I wonder where Young Master Ling Long met such a scoundrel?”

Ling Long stood and said, “Pardon the offense.”

Helian Kong involuntarily shuddered under Ling Long’s gaze. Yin Yin grabbed his wrist and stood up. “Alright, Kongkong, time to go home and take your medicine.”

Helian Kong: “……”

Ling Long noticed Yin Yin’s hand gripping Helian Kong’s and frowned slightly, displeased. He stepped forward, pried Yin Yin’s hand away, and said seriously, “It’s contagious.”

Helian Kong: “……”

Q口Q

You guys…… You’re all bullying me!!!

Reluctantly, Helian Kong followed behind Ling Long back to Zhuwang’s headquarters. He attempted to escape five times on the way, but each time he was dragged back within three steps. Even the bodhisattvas would be angry by now! So Helian Kong decided he would pummel Ling Long thoroughly.

But…… he couldn’t beat Ling Long.  TAT

When they reached Zhuwang’s headquarters, Eunuch Li was already anxiously waiting. The moment he saw Helian Kong return, he rushed over like a mother hen protecting her chick. “Second Prince, are you alright?! Did they harm you in any way?!”

Yin Yin sneered, “Relax, his chastity is intact.”

Though his dignity had suffered compound fractures.

Eunuch Li: “……”

“Imperial Brother, you’re a grown man. Why haven’t you learned to restrain yourself?” A deep and slightly sharp voice suddenly rang out, startling Yin Yin. Only then did she notice another person standing silently in the room.

……

His presence was absurdly low.

“Tiantian, when did you get here?  (⊙_⊙)” Helian Kong looked at the suddenly appearing Helian Tian in surprise.

Helian Tian’s sword-like brows shot up. “I’ve been here the whole time!”

Yin Yin: “……” She turned to Ling Long beside her. “Did you see him earlier?”

Ling Long’s mouth twitched. He silently shook his head.

……

Just as she thought.

This man not becoming an assassin was a complete waste of talent. She wondered if Mo Lingya’s group was still hiring.

“Tiantian, what are you here for?” Helian Kong asked, curious as a cat.

“I came to bring you back to the palace, of course!” Helian Tian snapped.

Helian Kong grimaced. “I’m not going back! I don’t want to marry that Young Miss Chen!”

“This isn’t your decision to make! Young Miss Chen is a proper young lady of a noble house. What’s there to dislike?”

“I just don’t like her! She’s not even as pretty as me! Tiantian, if you like her so much, why don’t you marry her?!”

“Ridiculous! Imperial Brother, if you’re going to act stupid, at least do it within limits! Do you think running away like this will solve the problem?”

“How am I stupid? I never dipped a bun in ink and ate it!”

“That was your prank! Why don’t we talk about the time you almost drowned trying to catch a fish? Or how you gave Father Emperor’s 《Banquet of a Hundred Flavors》 to the imperial kitchen, thinking it was a cookbook?!”

“W-well, you once broke your leg falling off a roof trying to catch Ah Hua!”

“That’s because you threw it up there!”

……

It was a high-energy performance.

Yin Yin silently applauded them in her heart. She had known from the start that this level of squabbling would eventually devolve into attacking each other’s intelligence.

Watching the two princes quarrel endlessly, Yin Yin couldn’t help but sincerely think, Your Majesty, you have our sympathies.

Eventually, Helian Tian seemed worn out. He frowned at Helian Kong. “Anyway, you’re coming back with me now!”

“I’m not!” Helian Kong turned his head away, refusing to even look at him.

“You—!” Helian Tian looked exasperated. “Forget it. Stay outside if you want. I’ll explain things to Father Emperor. But on the day of the wedding, you must come back!”

“Hmph!” Only an idiot would return!

Helian Tian took a deep breath and turned to Ling Long. “You must be Young Master Ling Long. While my imperial brother is living outside the palace, I ask that you take care of him.”

Ling Long had been ready to refuse, but when he saw crates of gold, silver, and jewels being carried in from outside, he nodded in agreement.

Helian Tian gave Helian Kong one last glance, then flicked his sleeves and left. Eunuch Li followed him back to the palace.

Seeing them leave, Helian Kong finally breathed a sigh of relief. He pointed to his own face and beamed at Ling Long. “Well then, I’ll be off now~”

Ling Long grabbed him just as he turned to leave. “I must ask Second Prince to stay here.”

“Why?!”

“I promised the sixth prince I’d take good care of you.”

Somehow, when Ling Long said ‘take good care’, it sounded absolutely chilling.

Helian Kong shivered and laughed nervously. “No need, I can take care of myself.”

“Hongwei.”

As soon as Ling Long finished speaking, a man appeared before him with a swish. “At your service.”

“Escort the second prince to his room.”

“Yes.” Hongwei stood up and bowed respectfully to Helian Kong. “This way, Second Prince.”

Helian Kong stubbornly stayed rooted in place.

Ling Long gave him a look and said calmly, “Hongwei is far more efficient at killing than I am.”

Helian Kong: “Q口Q”

Ling Long is the worst!!!

And so, Helian Kong ended up ‘happily’ living at Zhuwang.

Though he wasn’t fond of Ling Long, he was extremely satisfied with the food.

Especially after trying dishes from the new recipes Ling Long had brought back, Helian Kong found himself almost ready to marry Ling Long.

Turns out, the way to a man’s heart truly was through his stomach.

Yin Yin suddenly felt an urge to introduce Du Qianqian to Helian Kong. After all, a cook and a foodie made the perfect pair.

Acting on impulse, Yin Yin soon found Helian Kong in the kitchen.

“Du Qianqian?” Helian Kong asked with his mouth full, holding a duck neck.

“Mm-hmm, though she might go by Luo Qianqian now.” Yin Yin said with a grin. “She’s Prince Luo’s youngest daughter. The dishes you liked recently? She invented them.”

Helian Kong spat out a bone and tilted his head, thinking. “I think I heard that Prince Luo found his daughter.”

“Yup, yup!” Yin Yin nodded enthusiastically. “Wanna meet her?”

At that moment, her face practically screamed, ‘Professional matchmaker for thirty years— reliable and honest!’

“Nope.” Helian Kong refused without hesitation.

“Why not?!” Yin Yin was stunned. “She cooks really well!”

Helian Kong shot her a look of disdain. “You think she’ll still cook for me now that she’s a little princess?”

Yin Yin: “……”

Why was he so sharp at this moment?

“Besides, as long as I have the recipe, it doesn’t matter who cooks. The palace is full of fine cooks.”

Hey now, don’t say that! Chefs across the world are crying!

“And if Prince Luo catches me, he’ll definitely drag me back to Father Emperor.”

Yin Yin was utterly defeated.

Thus, her plan to pair up Helian Kong and Du Qianqian died before it even began.

────ρя

This translation is by Pocketrobbin at S h a n g h a i f a n t a s y . c o m

A few days later, Ling Long returned with news that got Helian Kong completely fired up.

The legendary culinary master Miao Yan had finally published his life’s masterpiece— 《One Hundred Homemade Dishes》!

Yin Yin: “……”

Was this Miao Yan a time traveler from the modern world?

“So the cookbook is in Chen Manor, right?” Helian Kong stared at Ling Long, eyes gleaming.

“Yes.” Ling Long replied coolly.

“Excellent!” Helian Kong then frowned. “But how do I get my hands on it?”

“Why go through all that trouble?” Yin Yin shrugged. “You’re going to marry into that family eventually. Once you do, the cookbook will be yours.”

Helian Kong puffed up his cheeks. “I’m not marrying into that family! If anyone’s marrying, it’s you!”

“Who’s going to marry?” Ling Long turned to glance at Helian Kong.

Helian Kong shrank back immediately. “……Me.”  Q口Q

Ling Long is always so mean!

He pitifully drew circles on the ground with his foot.

Then suddenly, inspiration struck. “I’ve got it!”

Yin Yin’s expression was as if she’d swallowed a fly. She stared at him and asked, “How many months along?”

Helian Kong: “……”

“No.” Yin Yin shook her head. “More importantly, whose child is it?”

Was it the sixth prince?!

Helian Kong: “……”

He wiped his face and said, “I’ve thought of a solution.”

“What solution?” Yin Yin asked cooperatively.

“To steal it!”