“Stop dawdling, let’s go home and see how grown up you are.”Shao Mingyin said, and Liang Zhen naturally quickened his pace to catch up. When they got home, Liang Zhen wasn’t in a hurry either. After arranging the things he bought, he opened the drawer in the foyer as if unwrapping a gift. In that small plastic bag, there were not only condoms but also lubricant.

Liang Zhen wasn’t timid, but he was overwhelmed with nervousness and excitement, so he became less talkative instead. After putting everything away on the bedside table, he acted as if nothing had happened, even though he was secretly ecstatic. He had to appear calm and composed.

Shao Mingyin knew what Liang Zhen was struggling with, it was just male pride at play, but he didn’t point it out. After coming back, he cooked, because it was Chinese New Year’s Eve, and the New Year’s Eve dinner couldn’t be compromised.

Liang Zhen still didn’t know how to cook, so he just watched and occasionally helped by bringing the dishes to the table. By the time they sat down, the Spring Festival Gala had already started. Shao Mingyin asked Liang Zhen to bring out the dozen beers they bought from the supermarket. It was the first time he made so many hot dishes, which went perfectly with the beer.

Beer’s alcohol content wasn’t high, and Shao Mingyin had a good tolerance, so they finished the whole case just by toasting each other. He wasn’t really paying attention to the TV; he didn’t find the skits funny, but he looked up when some artists were singing on stage and asked Liang Zhen out of the blue, “Do you think you’ll be up there one day?”

“Up there?”

“On the Spring Festival Gala or CCTV stage,” Shao Mingyin suddenly thought of it, “Do you have any plans to participate in talent shows?”

Liang Zhen flatly refused, “No.”

“So, you’ll stay underground forever?” Shao Mingyin asked, expressing his long-standing doubt, “I just feel like there’s a shortcut for you personally.”

Liang Zhen indeed could take shortcuts. He had a clean background and could easily create a second-generation persona. He was handsome, charismatic, and talented, and he could gain more exposure faster, if…

“But going from underground to mainstream requires compromise.”

Liang Zhen wasn’t facing the TV, but he could hear the lyrics clearly. This was the stage of the Spring Festival Gala, it had to be family-friendly, everyone had to be together. Not all rap was dirty; nowadays, everyone talked about love and peace, and some rap artists even performed on mainstream platforms after gaining recognition.

“I told you before, Sichuan-Chongqing rap is quite advanced. Ten years ago, a Sichuan rapper sang ‘I won’t go to work tomorrow’ on CCTV. Later, he covered Eminem’s ‘Rap God,’ and there’s a line in it, ‘Go to CCTV and say, I dare to compete with me.'”

“Yeah,” Shao Mingyin imagined the scene, “He’s cool.”

“He’s cool, he’s awesome,” Liang Zhen continued, “But last year, a rapper participated in the direct selection competition for the Spring Festival Gala, also on CCTV. He’s also from Sichuan-Chongqing, but when he stood on that stage, he changed ‘I’ to ‘we.'”

Liang Zhen said, “He compromised.”

To stand on the ground, compromises had to be made.

“I know this change may seem harmless on the surface, but…” Liang Zhen paused, organizing his thoughts, “But with this change, some things are different, some attitudes change. That’s the core and most attractive part of rap, that attitude. I’m not saying one rapper is nobler than the other or has been co-opted. I like them both, but if it were me, if it were Liang Zhen…” He put down his chopsticks, even the beer can he was holding made a noise. Some words couldn’t be said immediately; he felt he hadn’t reached that level or scene yet, he wasn’t qualified.

So Shao Mingyin helped him, as if he could see through what he was pondering and struggling with. Shao Mingyin said, “Liang Zhen would only write what he wanted to write and sing what he wanted to sing.”

Shao Mingyin held his own beer can and tapped it against the one Liang Zhen had put on the edge of the table, then took a sip before continuing, “Your attitude won’t change.”

Liang Zhen smiled, “Then when I can hold a concert in the future, or have a schedule for a music festival, I’ll shout on stage before I start singing, ‘Heroes come from Lanzhou, rapper Liang Zhen’s attitude.'”

“How come you rhyme so fast,” Shao Mingyin teased, “At this rate, your electronic album will be out next month.”

“That’s because…” Liang Zhen hesitated, then chuckled, “That’s because I’m with you.”

Because they cooked more than usual, they ate slowly, and the cleanup afterward took some time too. By the time they finished tidying up, it was almost eleven o’clock. Then they took a shower together. It was Liang Zhen’s first time showering with Shao Mingyin, holding him from behind under the showerhead as if holding a precious treasure. Liang Zhen had never taken care of anyone before, and it was his first time helping someone wash their hair. Of course, it wasn’t very successful; the foam always got into Shao Mingyin’s eyes. Shao Mingyin wanted to push away this clumsy person who was just getting in the way, but he also considered the slippery floor and was afraid Liang Zhen might slip, so he didn’t make any big movements.

As they washed, Liang Zhen kissed him, just a simple kiss, holding Shao Mingyin’s face tenderly. After the shower, they didn’t even dry themselves, just kissed and stepped out of the bathroom together. When the door opened, there was a haze of warmth, and they bathed in it.

Because it was cold outside, they had the heater and air conditioner on in the room. Liang Zhen turned up the temperature a bit, then jumped back onto the bed and pinned Shao Mingyin down, continuing to kiss him, his hands already reaching around. It was at this moment that his phone vibrated.

It was vibrating, but Liang Zhen ignored it. At this point, even if the God of Heaven called him, he wouldn’t answer. But after the vibration stopped, it rang again. Shao Mingyin reached out to the bedside table and saw who was calling, so he pushed Liang Zhen away.

“Answer the phone first,” Shao Mingyin said without hesitation, unlocking it for him, “It’s your grandfather.”

Since the call was already connected, Liang Zhen couldn’t hang up now. He grabbed the phone and turned over, pulling the blanket over his head as Shao Mingyin got up to go to the bathroom to clean himself. Liang Zhen watched Shao Mingyin’s lean figure move past, his already heavy breathing becoming even more labored.

“Where are you, Zhen’er?” Grandpa asked on the other end. “Going for a run on New Year’s Eve?”

“No,” Liang Zhen tried to calm himself, “I just exercised a bit.”

“Ah, I see,” Grandpa’s accent was thick, making Liang Zhen’s nickname sound like “Zhe.” “Zhen’er, are you coming back to Lanzhou soon?”

“I’m spending New Year in Wenzhou this year,” Liang Zhen had already told his grandpa he wouldn’t be coming back. This call for confirmation at this hour made him a bit annoyed.

“Ah, not coming back then,” Grandpa’s disappointment was evident in his tone. “Are you doing well in Wenzhou?”

“I’m doing well,” Liang Zhen had a deep bond with his grandpa. Even if things weren’t great, he couldn’t tell his grandpa the truth and make him worry. Being away from home, he had to be fine.

“Ah, as long as you’re doing well, I can rest easy. If you run out of money, let me know. I’ll send you some.”

“I have enough, Grandpa, don’t worry. I have enough…,” Liang Zhen wanted to say he was earning money now, even if it was just from one performance. But the amount was so little, he couldn’t bring himself to mention it.

“Zhen’er, no matter how tough your dad is, he means well. Try to understand him.”

Liang Zhen didn’t agree but responded, “I know.”

“Good, that’s good. Are you alone now?”

“No, I’m with a friend. We had New Year’s Eve dinner together.”

“Good, good, as long as you’re not alone.”

“Mm.”

“Zhen’er?”

“Mm?”

“This is the first time you’re not spending New Year with Grandpa,” Grandpa chuckled. “Grandpa misses you.”

Liang Zhen almost dropped his phone. He gripped it tighter, his voice thick with emotion.

“I miss you too, Grandpa,” Liang Zhen said. “Happy New Year.”

“Happy New Year, my precious grandson!” Grandpa was still laughing. “It’s almost midnight, don’t stay up too late with your friend.”

After hanging up, Liang Zhen stared at the black screen of his phone, his vision blurred. A surge of emotion replaced his earlier feelings of desire. He sat back in the bed and put his clothes back on. The bathroom was close to the bedroom, and Shao Mingyin hadn’t closed the door, so he could hear what Liang Zhen had said. When he came out, he was also in his pajamas. As he got into bed, Liang Zhen wasn’t particularly affectionate, keeping his head down, his back against the headboard. The room fell silent, and Shao Mingyin, unsure of what to say, turned the TV back on.

He flipped through the channels, but they were all broadcasting the Spring Festival Gala. Liang Zhen clearly wasn’t interested and remained sullen. Shao Mingyin, seemingly on a whim, switched to one of the few channels not showing the gala—a shopping channel that broadcasted people chatting 24/7, 365 days a year.