Chapter 30 – Suicide Is a Coward’s Escape from Reality

The sky looked like it had sprung a giant leak as torrential rain poured down in sheets, turning the world into a blur of white.

The windows in the building, installed by a cheap developer, had already been shattered or cracked during the last round of intense storms. Rain now blew in from the balcony windows, quickly forming large puddles on the floor.

Looking at the watermarks on the ground, Xia Xiaoman felt heavy-hearted. She had a hunch that she might be living in this apartment for a long time.

It was, after all, her temporary home. She might as well tidy it up and make it more livable.

There were no windows in her space dimension, but there was a stack of plastic wrap. She hammered nails into the four corners of the window frame, wrapped iron wire between them, then covered it with layers of plastic wrap. A few strips were left hanging outside to divert the water, and just like that, she had created a rainproof yet light-transmitting plastic “window.”

Good ideas should be shared. After testing one window and confirming it worked, Xia Xiaoman went out to teach her neighbors, so they wouldn’t have to suffer rain pouring into their homes.

Everyone had raided the supermarket too, so they had plastic wrap as well—just not as much as Xia Xiaoman. Their makeshift windows were thinner, but still better than nothing.

When she arrived at Unit 1501 to share her tips, she immediately noticed something was wrong.

Su Ran and Zhou Qiuyang weren’t particularly chatty, but Xiao Zheyu usually never stopped talking unless he was asleep. Every time she came over, she could always hear his nonstop chatter.

Today, however, Unit 1501 was eerily silent. Only Su Ran and Zhou Qiuyang were in the living room.

“Where’s Xiao Zheyu?” Xia Xiaoman asked.

Su Ran nodded toward a room. “Hiding in the bedroom, crying.”

Xia Xiaoman raised an eyebrow. “You guys bullied him until he cried?”

“It’s got nothing to do with us,” Su Ran explained. “This morning, Xiao Zheyu had nothing to do and went downstairs to check the water level. On his way back, he heard someone scream on the 9th floor. He went over to take a look and saw that the door to Unit 904 had been forced open. The mother and daughter who lived there were dead.”

That pair had been assaulted by criminals some time ago. Xiao Zheyu, feeling sorry for them, had given them a knife for self-defense.

Recently, people living in 901 had been complaining about a foul smell. Today, the stench was unbearable. When they forced open 904’s door, they found both the mother and daughter had committed suicide.

They had both slit their carotid arteries with the knife, their blood soaking the floor and attracting a swarm of flies.

Su Ran sighed. “Xiao Zheyu thinks he killed them. If he hadn’t given them the knife, maybe they wouldn’t have chosen to end their lives.”

Xia Xiaoman froze, silent for a long time.

To her, survival was more important than anything. A woman’s dignity was never tied to what happened beneath her skirt. So what if someone had violated them? Killing yourself over that—utterly not worth it.

When she was a child, the village chief, who was as fat as a pig, had groped her. Later, when she grew up and realized it was molestation, she began pouring two packets of headache powder into his tea every day. The chief suffered from insomnia for over two weeks and eventually got addicted to the powder, unable to go without it.

By the time she left the village, she heard he’d gotten stomach cancer and was nearing death.

If someone hurts you, take revenge. If you’re not even afraid of death, then what is there to fear? Suicide is a coward’s way of escaping reality.

…

With the storm raging outside, Xia Xiaoman couldn’t sit still.

In the morning, she trained in throwing knives and boxing at Unit 1502. In the afternoon, she practiced sanda (Chinese kickboxing) and sparred at 1503. At night, she did physical training at home and reviewed everything she learned during the day.

Her once-soft body had become firm and muscular, her movements increasingly agile. She could even hold her own against Wen Jianfeng for a couple of moves.

While Xia Xiaoman was busy honing her skills, the two high schoolers and one injured person in Unit 1501 were bored out of their minds. They started sprouting beans using old curtain fabric and washbasins.

They got lucky and succeeded on the first try, and the entire 15th floor got to eat fresh vegetables.

After giving away two free rounds of bean sprouts, Unit 1501 started charging. If anyone wanted more, they had to trade supplies.

No one minded.

Everyone understood the logic: give a man a handful of rice and he thanks you; give him a bucket and he resents you. It was better to trade goods than to give them away, especially since they hadn’t reached the point of communal resource sharing.

Their little business succeeded, and the three from Unit 1501 got even more enthusiastic about sprouting. They started growing mung beans, soybeans, and even peanut sprouts—all with different price tags.

Xiao Zheyu eventually emerged from his grief and bounced back, enthusiastically hawking their bean sprouts, wishing Xia Xiaoman and the others would eat them three times a day.

But despite their success, Unit 1501 never tried selling to anyone outside the 15th floor.

Wealth invites trouble. If word got out they had an abundance of supplies, it wouldn’t be long before someone targeted them.

For safety, the sprouts were strictly for internal consumption.

…

This storm only lasted four days.

Fortunately, everyone had stocked up beforehand, so no incidents of looting occurred during that time.

Still, in just four days, the water level had risen to the fifth floor.

“The storm’s over. Should we head out for supplies?” Sun Qing asked.

“You guys go. I’ll stay behind to guard the place,” said Xia Xiaoman, who had no particular desire to go out.

After two massive storms, most of the underwater supplies were likely either ruined or scattered. It wouldn’t be as easy to find a concentrated stash like before.

Besides, she already had a massive stockpile in her storage space—enough to last a lifetime. There was nothing she lacked right now, and even if she found something new, she might not be able to use it.

Like large appliances—generators, dehumidifiers, dryers—most were probably waterlogged and useless. Fuel like gasoline and diesel was stored underground at gas stations, and she didn’t have the means to extract it.

Off-road vehicles and RVs were even more of a pipe dream. All submerged, even if salvaged, they wouldn’t run.

With nothing worth seeking out, she opted to stay and guard the home while others ventured out.

Sun Qing and Ye Xiaojie had fully recovered and were eager to explore. Xiao Zheyu and Su Ran, who had the least supplies, also went along to search.

Wen Jianfeng planned to look for glass panes for windows. Plastic wrap didn’t block the wind well, and Lingling had developed a slight cough after being exposed for two days.

With five people gone, the 15th floor instantly became much quieter.

Unit 1502 had the best view. After everyone left, Xia Xiaoman headed there to train and kept an eye on the twins, making sure they stuck to their horse stances properly.