Chapter 18: Snail Noodles (Luosifen)

Back in the courtyard, Xiaojiu pulled out her lightness skill manual and prepared to continue practicing.

Yan Jue watched as she bounced around like a frog and couldn’t help but say, “That’s not how you practice lightness skill.”

Xiaojiu glanced at her manual again. According to it, this was how it was done.

Yan Jue asked, “Can I take a look at that book?”

Xiaojiu handed it over.

Yan Jue flipped through it. The manual was real, but the first dozen pages were all about building foundational strength before even attempting the movements shown in the diagrams.

This little girl clearly hadn’t read a single word of that. She had skipped straight to the diagrams and jumped right into mimicking the poses.

Yan Jue sighed helplessly. “You didn’t read the beginning, did you?”

Xiaojiu scratched her fingers awkwardly. “It was all so dense… I got dizzy just looking at it. So I went straight to the pictures.”

Yan Jue thought for a moment. Since he had already agreed to stay in the village for a year to teach the children martial arts, he might as well start with the basics.

“If you want to learn lightness skill, meet me tomorrow at the foot of the back mountain. We’ll begin with fundamental training.”

Xiaojiu immediately nodded. “Thank you, Master?”

It was the first time someone had called Yan Jue “Master” , and it sounded strange to him. So he said, “Just call me Yan Jue. No need for ‘Master’.”

“Got it, Master Yan!” Xiaojiu responded.

Yan Jue: …………

Fine. Call me whatever you want.

Old Master Xu happened to be returning from outside and heard Xiaojiu calling Yan Jue “Master.” He immediately felt displeased.

He asked her, “Why don’t you call me Master too? I’m much more capable than he is.”

Xiaojiu quickly responded, “Master Xu, good day!”

Old Xu was satisfied.

He shot a glare at Yan Jue—he had never liked that aloof and indifferent attitude of his.

With the school and teacher now settled, Xiaojiu felt they needed to celebrate a little.

She ran back to her room and used the system store to exchange for some snail noodles and a few cans of cola, deciding that they’d have it for lunch.

She handed the ingredients to Sister Xu and explained how to cook them.

Xu Xiaoxiao was already used to the village chief occasionally producing strange and unfamiliar things. Nothing surprised her anymore.

When Old Master Xu heard there was another new and tasty item, he immediately came over to ask, “What’s this delicious thing now?”

“Snail noodles,” Xiaojiu answered.

“Snail noodles? Never heard of that. Is it good?” Old Xu had been staying here a few days and had already noticed how unusual this girl was. She could always produce things no one had ever seen before.

But Old Xu figured that was her business. No need to pry into her secrets.

He was a man who cared deeply about food. As long as there was good food to eat, he was happy.

“Of course it’s good!” Xiaojiu said enthusiastically.

In truth, she had only eaten it once. Her parents had always forbidden her to try it, saying it was unhealthy. But one time, her cousin ordered takeout at her house, and she snuck a bite—and had never forgotten how delicious it was.

Old Xu saw her practically drooling at the memory. That was proof enough—it had to be good.

When the water started to boil, Xu Xiaoxiao quickly opened the packaging to start cooking. But as soon as she tore it open, a strange smell hit her nose.

“Chief, is this spoiled? It smells kind of rotten,” she asked.

“No, that’s just how it smells. It smells stinky, but it tastes amazing!” Xiaojiu quickly explained.

Since the chief said it wasn’t spoiled, Xu Xiaoxiao went ahead and tossed everything into the pot.

But as the water boiled, the smell only got worse.

Old Xu was starting to second-guess everything. Something that reeked this bad—could it really taste good?

Was this girl trying to mess with him?

Not long after, the snail noodles were ready. Xu Xiaoxiao took a small bowl and served a portion for the village chief.

Xiaojiu declined — she wanted a big bowl instead.

As soon as the noodles were set on the table, Xiaojiu couldn’t wait and served herself a large helping. While blowing on it to cool it down, she slurped the noodles noisily with delight.

Xu Xiaoxiao and Yan Jue also helped themselves to a bowl and followed Xiaojiu’s example, slurping the noodles.

At the first bite, the two were stunned. A wave of spiciness burst onto their taste buds — not the pungency of pepper, but a different kind of heat that was addictive, immersive. It was absolutely delicious. Who would have thought that something that smelled so foul could taste this amazing?

In this dynasty, chili peppers didn’t exist. Only peppercorns were available — and they were expensive. Most common households couldn’t afford them. When cooking, they used only oil and salt; other seasonings were rare.

Old Xu, sniffing the pungent odor, still hesitated. But when he saw the others already eating intently, he anxiously asked, “How does it taste?”

The only answer he got was the sound of enthusiastic slurping.

“How is it, really?” Old Xu was getting desperate.

“Not that great. Pretty bad, actually. Slurp slurp,” Xiaojiu replied.

“Yeah, terrible. Smells awful. Slurp slurp,” Xu Xiaoxiao said, continuing to devour her noodles.

Yan Jue quickly finished his first bowl and was already reaching for a second — too busy to spare Old Xu a glance.

Seeing them like this, Old Xu couldn’t sit still any longer. He hurriedly served himself a big bowl.

Imitating the others, he started to eat. At the first bite, Old Xu felt like all his previous fifty years of eating had been nothing but bland, watery soup.

It was too delicious. These little brats actually dared to lie to him. Sob sob sob… slurp slurp…

After finishing his bowl, Old Xu rushed back to the pot to get more — only to find it completely empty.

“Who? Who? WHO ATE SO MUCH?!” Old Xu exploded with rage.

Xiaojiu pointed at Yan Jue. “That was his third bowl.”

Xiaojiu had anticipated that four people might not be enough and had prepared an extra portion — five packs in total.

Yan Jue slurped up the last bite from his bowl and said with satisfaction, “As someone who practices martial arts, I tend to eat a lot. Hope you’ll forgive me.”

Old Xu snapped, “You masked mutt! I’m gonna fight you!”

Old Xu grabbed his bowl and looked ready to hurl it.

Yan Jue calmly drew his sword, the tip pointed straight at Old Xu. “Wanna try?”

Old Xu immediately put the bowl down. “A gentleman uses words, not fists. I won’t stoop to the level of a brute like you.”

He turned to Xiaojiu and said, “Next time, make him pay for his meals. He eats way too much.”

That left Yan Jue a bit embarrassed — because he didn’t have any money on him at the moment.

Old Xu caught his flustered look and immediately pressed, “No way, no way, are you seriously thinking of freeloading here?”

Old Xu had already paid five taels of silver to Xiaojiu for a month’s stay, so he felt completely justified now.

But Xiaojiu, knowing they’d be staying in the village to teach the children martial arts and academics, saw no reason to continue charging them rent.

She took five taels of silver from her own pocket and returned it to Old Xu. “From now on, since you’re teaching in the village, both rent and food will be covered. No need to pay.”

Old Xu stared at her bitterly: Seriously? I finally won a round, and now you’re telling me you’re not charging rent anymore?

Xiaojiu couldn’t be bothered to argue with those two bickering old men.

After eating her fill, she decided to go check on the progress of the school building — and while at it, let the village kids know to gather at the foot of the mountain the next day to begin martial arts training.

When Cuihua saw Xiaojiu heading out, she hurried after her.

Xiaojiu asked, “Wanna join us for martial arts training tomorrow?”

Cuihua tilted her chicken head to the side and stared at Xiaojiu: Do you even hear yourself right now?

Xiaojiu began her brainwashing routine: “Look, right now, you’re just a slightly prettier-than-average chicken. The only ones swooning over you are the local roosters. But if you master light footwork, it’ll be a whole different story. You could soar higher than any other chicken, go wherever you want. You’d be the most badass chicken in all of Dongxia.”