Exposed

The clouds in the sky grew thicker, gradually painting the glacier a romantic pinkish-purple. Then the sun rose, equally illuminating every inch of land.

Gu Deng stripped off his soaked clothes one by one, standing naked in the sunlight while eating a banana.

Having not eaten all day, he was so hungry that his stomach felt like it was sticking to his back. He didn’t even taste the first banana before grabbing a second one. He began to notice the banana’s shape, color, texture, and smell.

Bananas are actually a very simple fruit, easy to carry and eat. The flesh is sweet and dense, with a slightly astringent aftertaste that urges you to take another bite. When the whole banana is finished, Gu Deng feels a simple happiness.

Gu Deng put away the peel and sat on the boat, continuing to dry his clothes. Everything around him felt incredibly fresh; the water was cold, the ice was cool, and his skin was smooth. It sounded unbelievable, but he hadn’t felt this kind of tangible sensation in a long time.

Relaxed, he gradually fell asleep. When he woke up, the sun was already overhead. Gu Deng put on his half-dry clothes and started rowing back.

Maybe it was too hot, but he soon started sweating. Gu Deng unzipped his jacket and kept rowing. Yet he still felt hot, the sun making him dizzy. Thirsty, he wanted to drink water.

It’s only April; it shouldn’t be this hot. Gu Deng licked his dry lips and touched his forehead, realizing he had a fever.

He splashed water on his face, gritted his teeth, and continued rowing towards the shore. The sun grew stronger, sweat beaded on his forehead, his hands became weak from rowing, and his throat was parched, making him constantly lick his lips.

In the distance, the mountains stood tall, and the town at the foot of the mountains turned into a short line. Gu Deng mechanically moved his hands, inching towards the town.

After another hour, the kayak finally touched the soft sand. Gu Deng dropped the paddle and stood up, suddenly feeling dizzy, and his body collapsed onto the sand.

He went through a chaotic dream, chased by zombies, bitten by dogs, repeatedly jumping off rooftops.

When he opened his eyes again, he saw the cold white ceiling of a hospital. A young man in a suit and glasses sat by the bed, looking down at a tablet.

As soon as Gu Deng moved his fingers, the man put down the tablet and said, “You’re awake?”

Gu Deng opened his mouth, his voice hoarse beyond belief, “Bro, why are you here?”

“Your fainting video went viral. I was nearby, so I came first. Mom and your manager are on a plane, they’ll land in about 2 hours.”

“Oh.” Gu Deng didn’t say more, seeming a bit tired.

After a while, he said, “Sorry for causing trouble.”

“You little brat, at least you know,” Zhou Bi flicked his forehead, though his tone didn’t sound too angry, “Do you know how worried Mom was when you ran off here without a word?”

Zhou Bi is a typical Beijing boy, confident, enthusiastic, and generous. Gu Deng first met Zhou Bi two months after his parents passed away, when he followed his aunt north, new and bewildered.

He had just sat in the living room for a while when a boy came in with a telescope. The boy, about ten years old, wearing a Beijing Planetarium T-shirt and a baseball cap, first drank half a bottle of soda from the fridge, then turned and saw Gu Deng on the sofa, suddenly exclaimed with curiosity, “Is this my little cousin from the hometown?”

Gu Deng was so scared he shrank into the corner of the sofa, and Zhou Bi laughed, saying he looked like a cat.

That evening, they had dinner together, and Gu Deng settled into his aunt’s house.

He was formally adopted, and a month later, Gu Deng started calling his aunt and uncle Mom and Dad, and directly called Zhou Bi brother.

At that time, Gu Deng wasn’t very familiar with his aunt, only knowing she was a top scorer in the college entrance exam, later pursuing a master’s and PhD, and became a university teacher in Beijing.

It’s said she was only 25 when she had Zhou Bi, juggling her master’s thesis, pregnancy, and PhD applications. For most people, these would be major events, but she managed them all simultaneously.

His uncle was also a university professor, and Zhou Bi inherited their genes, being smart from a young age. He wasn’t a bookworm either; to Gu Deng, Zhou Bi’s main activity was playing, like going to the zoo to study pandas, attending planetarium summer camps, or biking to Mentougou to stargaze at midnight. Strangely, he always topped exams and broke Olympiad records.

Zhou Bi occasionally took Gu Deng to play, naturally wanting to care for his pitiful little brother. Unfortunately, their age gap was too big, with mismatched knowledge and stamina. Though Gu Deng was sensible, he was a burden among the older boys, and since he didn’t seem very enthusiastic, the brothers ended up doing their own things.

Zhou Bi played through his childhood and high school, went abroad at eighteen for further studies, pursued a PhD, and now works in research, being a professor at MIT’s math department.

Over the years, both Gu Deng and Zhou Bi were busy with work, only meeting during holidays. Now that Zhou Bi made a special trip for him, Gu Deng felt a bit embarrassed. He wanted to say something nice but couldn’t find the right words, so he awkwardly stayed silent.

After a while, a nurse came in and said something, and Zhou Bi went out with the nurse. About a minute later, he returned to tell Gu Deng he had to handle something and would be back in about ten minutes.

“Go ahead, I’m fine,” Gu Deng said, lying back down and closing his eyes drowsily.

He didn’t know how long had passed when footsteps came from the door.

“Bro?” Thinking it was Zhou Bi, Gu Deng opened his eyes but saw a stranger.

The man pointed a phone camera at him, excitedly saying to the screen, “Hey guys, I promised, and here I am, risking getting caught, sneaking into superstar Gu Deng’s hospital room. A like isn’t too much to ask, right? Interested folks, give a follow!”

Gu Deng’s expression changed, quickly pulling up the blanket to cover his face, while pressing the call button for help.

The man didn’t leave, trying to pull the blanket and get in the frame with him.

Gu Deng held the blanket tightly, swallowing all his screams, counting silently in his mind. When he reached 44, the annoying voice finally disappeared, and a large hand pressed on his head.

“Are you okay?” Zhou Bi lifted a corner of the blanket, saying, “Bro’s back.”

Gu Deng didn’t speak but didn’t let go either. After a few more seconds, when he finally felt safe, he poked his head out and said he was fine.

He asked, “What just happened?”

Zhou Bi said, “Your hospitalization was leaked online. Your manager took down the post, but many media and fans still found their way here.”

“You went down to handle this?”

“Yeah, didn’t expect someone to sneak in,” Zhou Bi pulled a chair to block the door, sitting down with a flourish, “From now on, I’m sitting here, no one’s getting in.”

Gu Deng seemed to smile, saying, “Isn’t that a bit much?”

Zhou Bi: “It’s necessary.”

Gu Deng didn’t really like the feeling of being guarded, reminding him of when he was sick. But he knew Zhou Bi meant well, so he put on a grateful face.

“Bro,” Gu Deng asked Zhou Bi, “If you stopped studying topology, what would you do?”

Zhou Bi: “I won’t stop.”

“But what if?” Gu Deng said, “If for some reason you couldn’t continue, what would you do?”

Zhou Bi was silent for a moment, then said, “I don’t know.”

Gu Deng was a bit surprised, “You don’t know either?”

“Why should I know?” Zhou Bi laughed, “I don’t have to worry about that.”

“Oh.” Gu Deng realized his question was pointless.

“But if that day ever comes,” Zhou Bi said, “maybe I’d do what you’re doing.”

Gu Deng looked up in surprise.

“Surprised?” Zhou Bi asked.

Gu Deng shook his head, unsure how to respond, “No, I just…”

“Isn’t that how road movies go? The protagonist, disheartened by work, life, or love, just leaves, finding courage to live again on the journey.”

Gu Deng lowered his head, not answering.

Zhou Bi asked, “And you? Did you meet anyone or have any fun experiences on your journey?”

Gu Deng paused, suddenly searching his pockets. But he was wearing hospital clothes, with nothing inside.

“Bro, where’s my jacket?”

“Here.” Zhou Bi handed him the jacket.

Gu Deng opened the pocket, only to find a soggy wad of paper—the map was ruined by seawater, and he lost Zhang Li’s contact.

“Lost something?” Zhou Bi waved a hand in front of him.

“No,” Gu Deng sniffed, shaking his head, “It’s nothing important.”

Lying on the hospital bed, Gu Deng pondered many questions.

First and foremost, he decided to keep living.

Secondly, the hardest question: continuing to live means continuing to endure pain. Since his pain came from not being able to write songs, maybe he should just give up. Give up music, songwriting, and creating, and the pain would naturally disappear.

But if he didn’t write songs, what else could he do?

“Buzz—”

The phone’s vibration interrupted his thoughts.

“Mom?” Zhou Bi answered, “You’ve landed? I’m at the hospital, Xiao Deng seems fine, just a fever and some anemia, but he’s stable now. Okay, I’ll wait for you. Want to talk to Xiao Deng?” Zhou Bi looked up, handing the phone to Gu Deng.

Gu Deng hesitated before taking it, calling out to his mom.

“I heard you’re sick, is it serious?”

“Not serious, just a fever.”

“You’re grown up now, take care of yourself.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Your manager is here with me, she told me you were here and has been handling your matters on the way. She’s really worried about you.”

Gu Deng lowered his head, softly saying, “I’m sorry.”

“If you have time to apologize, you should pull yourself together and clean up this mess.” A crisp, lively voice sounded.

Gu Deng had known Shen Qinglan for over a decade, familiar with each other’s temperaments, and replied, “This mess is nothing, no need for Sister Lan to step in, just guide Xiao Mi to handle it.”

Xiao Mi was an assistant hired by the studio two years ago, fresh out of college, known for being clear-headed yet naive.

“Always joking,” Shen Qinglan laughed, then said, “Seeing you so lively, I’m relieved. Rest well, we’ll be there in half an hour.”

“Okay.” Gu Deng nodded, very obediently.

“I heard from Zhou Bi that there are a lot of fans outside the hospital. Think about whether you want to show up later, I won’t interfere with your decision.”

“Thanks, Sister Lan, I got it.” Gu Deng hung up, handing the phone back to Zhou Bi.

“They’re finally coming,” Zhou Bi stretched, also relieved, “Honestly, with your crazy fans outside, I couldn’t handle it alone.”

Gu Deng didn’t speak, then suddenly asked, “Bro, can you buy me some clothes? I don’t want to meet them in this.”

Zhou Bi laughed, “We’re family, why so fussy?”

Gu Deng: “Just consider it my celebrity vanity.”

Gu Deng was a big star, known for his good fashion sense, even a global ambassador for a luxury brand, so wearing hospital clothes was indeed a bit much.

Zhou Bi nodded, “Buying clothes is no problem, but I’m afraid if I leave, someone might sneak in again.”

Gu Deng: “This is a private room, I can lock the door after you leave.”

“Alright then.” Zhou Bi carefully asked what type of clothes Gu Deng wanted, then left with his phone.

One second, two seconds, three seconds… ten seconds later, Gu Deng immediately got up from the bed, pulled out the IV needle with one hand, left a handwritten note, and ran out in his dirty clothes.

He left decisively but stopped abruptly at the hospital entrance. Outside, a row of small night lights lit up, each light revealing a worried face.

In such a remote place, so many people had gathered in a short time. Although a vlogger had broken into his room, Gu Deng could see that most were just concerned fans. Everyone cared about him; he shouldn’t leave so irresponsibly.

But… but he hadn’t released an album in four years, and might never write anything again. Did he still deserve everyone’s concern?

Gu Deng gazed at the crowd through the glass, then turned and walked in the opposite direction.

He struggled to leave the hospital, only to unexpectedly run into his manager and others in the parking lot. Gu Deng instinctively hid behind a car, but the hospital was small, the parking lot empty, with his manager on one side and fans on the other. Looking around, Gu Deng realized he had nowhere to go.

“Beep—”

A horn suddenly sounded from a corner of the parking lot.

Shen Qinglan looked up, seeing a modified pickup truck, a common model in North America. She didn’t recognize the car or the person, so she turned and headed towards the hospital.

Hiding in the corner, Gu Deng’s heart raced. He had a guess but didn’t dare to think further.

Could it be? How could Zhang Li be here?

Without hesitation, Gu Deng turned to leave, but a familiar voice came from above, “Get in.”

The window rolled down, and Gu Deng saw Zhang Li.