CHAPTER 11: UNIVERSITY ALUMNI

Walking side by side toward Teaching Building 3, Ruan Zhizhi deeply doubted her earlier decision. She shouldn’t have let Shi Yan guide her, because now, wherever they passed, the stares of passersby felt like blades piercing her heart.

She kept her eyes on her own feet, forcing herself to appear calm and composed. Shi Yan’s pace was unhurried, as if concerned she might fall behind. His profile was exquisitely sculpted, and a faint scent of tobacco lingered around him.

When they first turned into Teaching Building 3, they had to cross a narrow enclosed corridor. The place was unlit, airtight, dark, and oppressive.

Her body immediately tensed. From a previous lab power outage at university, Ruan Zhizhi had developed a mild fear of confined spaces. Though not severe, it was enough to make her anxious now.

She walked slowly, step by step, sweat forming drop by drop on her forehead.

Suddenly, a hand reached out and gently grasped her wrist.

Given the nature of her current relationship with Shi Yan, the gesture felt safe. He didn’t hold her hand fully or drape an arm over her shoulder—just a polite, measured grip on her wrist, as if silently acknowledging her fear.

“You’re scared?” His voice, coming from the dark, was restrained, deep, and slightly hoarse.

Ruan Zhizhi nodded, and then instinctively added, “When I was in college, I once did a dangerous experiment in the lab when the power suddenly went out. The door was locked from the outside, and we were trapped in there for hours. Ever since, I’ve felt uneasy whenever I enter enclosed spaces.”

Shi Yan paused, a subtle change in his hold on her wrist. Then he let out a small, soft laugh, almost like speaking to himself: “So you remember.”

Unable to catch his words clearly, Ruan Zhizhi turned slightly to look at him. In the dim light, she glimpsed the faint curve of his lips—a fleeting smile.

Shi Yan walked just ahead, holding her wrist with measured pressure. Somehow, it made Ruan Zhizhi feel safe.

Following behind him, she actually felt protected.

By the time they reached Gu Nian’s office, Ruan Zhizhi paused, pondering how to politely and warmly bid him farewell.

Shi Yan stood opposite her, tall, slightly lowering his gaze. His dark pupils seemed turbulent, concealing his emotions.

After a moment of silence, he stepped closer, lightly brushing her cheek.

Instantly, her blood seemed to freeze. Ruan Zhizhi froze in place, wide-eyed and stiff.

The man, having completed this intimate gesture, simply waved his hand lightly and explained with casual detachment: “There’s some dust.”

…Was that from the corridor just now?

A faint scent of tobacco lingered on her cheek. Ruan Zhizhi’s emotions settled, and she felt slightly embarrassed about her exaggerated reaction.

He took a step back, tilted his head, and asked casually, “The person you mentioned before… do you still like them?”

After a few moments of confusion, Ruan Zhizhi realized what Shi Yan meant. Back on Jade Dragon Snow Mountain, she had told Chen Jiayan she had someone she liked, and Shi Yan had been present.

She met his gaze, paused for a moment, then nodded.

Feeling the atmosphere grow slightly awkward, she brushed her hair back and casually asked, “What about you? Do you still like her?”

Shi Yan remained silent for a moment, then lifted his eyes to her. His black, beautiful eyes flickered, and after a pause, he nodded affirmatively.

They exchanged polite farewells again. Ruan Zhizhi stood watching him walk away. In the sunlight, his shadow stretched long and thin across the ground. Every time they parted, his back seemed lonelier and more solitary.

….

“Oh, Zhizhi, you’re here! Come on, come on, I’m taking you to morning tea. A new Hong Kong-style tea restaurant opened near A University, my colleague recommended it—it’s supposed to be amazing. By meal time, there’ll be a queue!”

Gu Nian had just finished tidying up and stepped out of her office. Seeing Ruan Zhizhi at the door, she hurried over and grabbed her arm, dragging her along.

Ruan Zhizhi followed absentmindedly, stepping out of the campus with her. The tea restaurant was just a block away—indeed very close.

It was just past ten in the morning, and the restaurant had only recently opened. Led by the waiter, they chose a window seat.

Gu Nian, having substituted for a class, was starving. She grabbed the menu and ordered a chaotic mix of dishes—enough for more than just the two of them.

Ruan Zhizhi sighed helplessly across from her. “Miss Highness, your habit of wasting food hasn’t changed a bit since college.”

Though Gu Nian’s family was relatively well-off but ordinary, as an only child, she had been doted on since birth. Plus, her university boyfriend, Cheng Fengjin, was heir to a listed company. With that level of wealth, she had never really understood the struggles of ordinary life and always acted according to her own whims.

Regarding wastefulness, Cheng Fengjin had repeatedly promised to help her break the bad habit, but in Ruan Zhizhi’s view, since they got together, Gu Nian’s habit of wasting food had only gotten worse.

Li Sicheng used to say that Gu Nian had been spoiled by Cheng Fengjin—and indeed, he was right.

By comparison, Li Sicheng had been a hundred times crueler to Ruan Zhizhi.

Because there weren’t many customers at this hour, the food arrived quickly: rice rolls, shrimp dumplings, chicken feet, turnip cakes, and boat congee, all arranged around the table. The aroma immediately whetted Ruan Zhizhi’s appetite.

Gu Nian, completely unabashed, devoured her food while chattering to Ruan Zhizhi: “Zhizhi, next week I’m getting married to Cheng Fengjin. Do you know? I’ve been losing sleep every night, my hair is falling out, and my dark circles are almost panda-level.”

“What? Don’t tell me you’ve suddenly decided you don’t want to marry him anymore.”

“…No, it’s not that. I just… I mean, it’s like, life is so long—what if he treats me badly after we marry? What if we can’t survive the seven-year itch and end up divorced? What if he finds out I’m not as perfect as he imagined?”

Ruan Zhizhi sighed helplessly and carefully advised, “You have classic pre-wedding jitters—on one hand, you long to get married, but on the other, you fear the constraints of marriage.” She took a spoonful of congee, chewing slowly before continuing, “Honestly, you should be grateful to have met Cheng Fengjin. In this world, there are so many who want but can’t have. Couples like you, who end up together, are extremely rare.”

Gu Nian fell silent, furrowing her brow. After a while, she sighed: “Actually, I know Cheng Fengjin has already treated me very, very well. I think, more than worrying about being constrained, I fear he might see me as a burden in the future.”

Ruan Zhizhi couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, her lips curving in reassurance: “As a burden, he’d be happy to carry you for the rest of his life.”

During their four years at university, what Ruan Zhizhi had envied most was precisely this wholehearted devotion that Cheng Fengjin gave to Gu Nian—something she could never, ever get from Li Sicheng.

Because she knew she couldn’t have it, she desired it all the more.

Ruan Zhizhi had been alone her whole life. Li Sicheng had given her brief warmth and companionship, but never an ounce of security. When she was with him, she felt happy yet uneasy, knowing he could leave at any moment.

And strangely enough, the one who had given her a sense of security, even briefly, was Shi Yan—a chance encounter.

If not for that five-day, four-night trip to Yunnan, she might never have had any connection with him in her life. She knew he treated her differently, but why?

Could it be… because she looked a little like the girl he liked? Or maybe his care for her was merely a passing fancy, a simple favor?

At that time, Ruan Zhizhi imagined a thousand possibilities—yet never once did she think that she was the one Shi Yan had cherished in his heart for so many years, yearning for her but unable to reach her.

“Zhizhi, what are you thinking about? You’ve been quiet for so long.”

Ruan Zhizhi’s wandering thoughts were pulled back by Gu Nian’s voice. Without thinking, she instinctively replied, “I’m thinking about someone.”

It was just a casual remark, but Gu Nian immediately perked up, completely abandoning her pre-wedding jitters: “Who? Zhizhi, is someone after you? Or… have you developed feelings for someone?”

Feeling instantly embarrassed, and afraid Gu Nian would misunderstand, Ruan Zhizhi quickly clarified: “You’re overthinking. It’s just a very ordinary person—a friend at most.”

“Who? Who? Oh, come on, Zhizhi, just tell me! Otherwise I’ll be losing sleep again tonight.”

Unable to resist Gu Nian’s persistent prodding, Ruan Zhizhi thought for a moment and answered as concisely as possible: “His name is Shi Yan. He’s a professor in the psychology department at your school. He was also on the Yunnan trip with us.”

Upon hearing the name “Shi Yan,” Gu Nian froze for a few moments before regaining her composure: “Shi Yan… I’ve always thought he’s the smartest professor at A University, smarter than me even. And he’s incredibly handsome. But he’s always so cold, barely talks to anyone, really high and mighty.”

Ruan Zhizhi immediately nodded in agreement.

“By the way,” Gu Nian put down her chopsticks, speaking around a piece of turnip cake, “Zhizhi, did you know Shi Yan and we were actually university alumni?”

“What?!”

Ruan Zhizhi felt her brain freeze for a moment, unable to process.

Shi Yan… and she… were university alumni? That means he had also studied at UCLA?

Impossible… the world felt far too small.

The gossip-loving Gu Nian suddenly became animated: “You didn’t know? He used to be a legend at school! His IQ was off the charts. He did his combined bachelor’s and master’s in just four years. In the international student circle back then, he was a legend.”

Finally processing the huge influx of information, Ruan Zhizhi asked, still puzzled, “Really? Then why don’t I remember him at all?”

Gu Nian rolled her eyes and scolded gently, “Your whole heart was set on Li Sicheng back then. How could you care about any other guy? During your four years at university, you only had eyes for Li Sicheng. Everyone else was just scenery—and not even colorful scenery, just black and white.”

Ruan Zhizhi: “…”

Squinting, Gu Nian continued, as if recalling some distant memory: “I remember when we ate in the cafeteria, I saw Shi Yan several times. He often sat at a table behind us, eating alone. People would come over to chat or ask to share a table, and he always refused.” She sighed. “I kept thinking, maybe he was waiting for someone.”

Ruan Zhizhi, however, simply pursed her lips: “You’re overthinking. Maybe he just likes eating in peace and doesn’t want to be disturbed.”

“How could that be? Who would willingly eat alone? That’s just too lonely.”

Lonely.

Indeed, this was what she saw most in Shi Yan.

A dense, heavy loneliness that seemed out of place even when surrounded by crowds.

His gaze was always dark and sharp, giving the impression of drifting beyond the mundane world, with a faint, underlying sense of danger.

Yet, for some reason, Ruan Zhizhi always felt that she and him were somehow getting closer and closer.