CHAPTER 21: PAPER ROSE

It had been a week since Li Sicheng returned to the country. During this week, every morning when Ruan Zhizhi opened her eyes, there was a message from him. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, even late-night snacks—everything was arranged by Li Sicheng himself. Even if Ruan Zhizhi had to work overtime or didn’t feel like going out, he would find a way to have delicious food delivered to her office or apartment building.

Three years ago, if Ruan Zhizhi had received such treatment from Li Sicheng, she probably would have woken from her dreams every night laughing with joy. But three years later, after a full week of experiencing it, she was finally able to digest the surreal reality of Li Sicheng pursuing her again and calmly consider their situation.

Li Sicheng’s attentions now were not fake. Ruan Zhizhi knew his personality well—careless and easily bothered by trivialities. If he truly didn’t care about her, he would never have gone to such lengths to provide her three meals a day, so punctually. She had considered agreeing to him more than once, but every time the words reached her lips, she couldn’t say them. There was always a quiet unease in her heart, as if she owed someone something.

March had arrived. The weather had warmed, frost was gone from the roads, and the bare branches of the plane trees along the streets were budding with tender shoots. Spring had returned, and the city was alive with vitality. Everything seemed beautiful.

That morning, Ruan Zhizhi woke up early, planning to organize her wardrobe before heading to work. She took out a stack of thick winter clothes from her closet, folding each piece carefully before tucking them into a spare box.

When she reached the last down jacket, she laid it out and, as usual, checked it thoroughly—but noticed that one of the pockets was slightly bulging, as if something was inside.

Frowning in curiosity, she reached into the pocket—and instantly froze.

Inside was the paper rose Shi Yan had given her a long time ago at a bar in Lijiang.

She hadn’t seen Shi Yan for a week.

Even though she could seemingly run into him anywhere before, in the past week, she hadn’t seen him anywhere—not even at the café where he often went to buy macarons. It was as if he had suddenly vanished from the world, completely erased from her life.

Sometimes, Ruan Zhizhi felt a strange illusion: had she ever truly met Shi Yan at all?

How could it be possible for someone who was practically a stranger to willingly care for her, appearing just when she needed help, like a black knight from a fairy tale, giving selflessly without expecting anything in return?

If Ruan Zhizhi hadn’t already passed the age of believing in fairy tales, she might have thought Shi Yan was an angel sent by God to save her—though one with an expression of extreme coldness.

Ruan Zhizhi stood by the wardrobe, lost in thought, until the alarm on her phone reminded her it was time to leave for work. She barely returned to herself, glancing at the down jacket on the bed with a faint sense of melancholy.

The rest of the day, she was distracted, unable to focus at work, staring blankly at her desk. Fortunately, Li Sicheng was on a business trip, or else he would likely have come to deliver her meals again.

She wasn’t sure she wanted to see him right now, because he always made her waver.

During lunch break, she had no appetite and slouched at her desk, scrolling through her phone. Nearby, Lu Wanyi, who had been watching her for a while, confirmed she had no lunch plans and came over to speak: “Zhizhi, why didn’t your boyfriend come to get you for lunch today?”

Ruan Zhizhi froze. After thinking for a moment, she realized “boyfriend” must refer to Li Sicheng. She pressed her lips together and explained: “He’s not my boyfriend, just a friend. We… used to be college classmates.”

Lu Wanyi blinked at her words, then quickly responded teasingly: “Don’t lie to me. What ordinary friend would come deliver meals on time twenty-four hours a day? And the way he looks at you—even a blind person could see it’s full of love.”

“He really isn’t… we—” Ruan Zhizhi hesitated. Thinking that Lu Wanyi was her only close friend at work, she decided to be honest: “Our relationship is… complicated. Back in college, I liked him for a long time, but he didn’t seem to feel that way. After graduation, I returned home and he stayed in the US; we lost contact. I thought I had moved on from that unrequited crush. But now, he’s back and tells me he likes me.”

“My mind is a complete mess. I have no idea what to do.”

Having said it all in one breath, Ruan Zhizhi felt a slight relief.

Lu Wanyi nodded, half-understanding, then asked with some puzzlement: “Zhizhi, do you still like him? If you like him, just say yes. If not, just say no. It’s really that simple. Why be so troubled?”

“I don’t know,” Ruan Zhizhi sighed. “I think I still have feelings for him, but… there’s a voice in my heart telling me I shouldn’t say yes.”

“I see,” Lu Wanyi raised her eyebrows. “There’s someone else in your heart, isn’t there?”

“Someone else?” Ruan Zhizhi frowned slightly.

“Yeah. Like that handsome guy we ran into last time during lunch. Not only is he ridiculously good-looking, but he knows how to give space to women. That day, while we were together, his eyes didn’t linger on me for a single second. Any girl would like a man like that. I guess… the reason you hesitate in the face of another’s pursuit is because there’s already someone in your heart.”

Holding a cup of hot coffee, Lu Wanyi spoke with certainty. She took a sip, blowing gently on it, leaving Ruan Zhizhi staring blankly.

Everyone said Shi Yan liked her, but even so, she couldn’t just assume he did. What if he didn’t? How embarrassing would that be?

And if he really did like her, why hadn’t he contacted her all this time?

Or… had he decided to give up on her because of Li Sicheng’s appearance?

….

In the end, Ruan Zhizhi couldn’t refuse Lu Wanyi, and she put on a coat to go out for lunch with her.

Since their lunch break was only an hour and a half, they decided to grab a quick meal at a nearby McDonald’s.

McDonald’s was always crowded, no matter the time. Ruan Zhizhi and Lu Wanyi stood in the long line, bored, surrounded by the throngs of people, the air stuffy and noisy.

Lu Wanyi stared off at the crowd. “I remember when I first started my internship here, I came to this McDonald’s almost every day for lunch. I felt time was money; I didn’t want to waste a single second so I could secure a permanent position.” She smiled, continuing, “I also remember the first article I handled was about a corruption case. I stayed up day and night just to organize the materials.”

Caught up in Lu Wanyi’s memories, Ruan Zhizhi tilted her head, recalling her own. “The news article I got was about a crime of passion. I remember it clearly: a man meticulously planned and killed his unfaithful wife, only to be witnessed by his eight-year-old son. The boy called the police and identified his father, who was later sentenced to life imprisonment.”

“That poor boy… only eight years old and experiencing something so tragic. Just hearing you talk about it gives me goosebumps—I can’t even imagine how he felt.”

“Yes. That case was over twenty years ago. That boy must be twenty-six or twenty-seven now… I wonder how he’s doing.”

“Not well, I’d imagine. His father’s a murderer, his mother cheated and was killed by her husband, and he witnessed it all. Even if he survived, bearing the judgment of the world, he probably would’ve developed psychological issues by now.”

They chattered for a while, until it was their turn to order. They quickly refocused, placed their orders, and soon forgot the topic entirely.

In this world, unless the knife is in your own body, you can never truly empathize with another person’s pain.

After getting their food and finding a seat, Lu Wanyi went to the counter for ketchup and napkins. Ruan Zhizhi had just set down her tray when she heard a clear, familiar voice behind her: “Excuse me, can we share this table?”

Ruan Zhizhi turned—and saw Chen Jiayan, whom she hadn’t seen in a long time.

“Zhizhi?! It really is you! Your back looked so familiar just now.” Chen Jiayan’s face lit up with a bright, sunny smile.

Infected by his cheerfulness, Ruan Zhizhi felt her mood lift. She pointed to the empty seats opposite her. “Sit here, it’s just me and Wanyi.”

As Chen Jiayan set his things down, Lu Wanyi returned. She was visibly surprised: “What a coincidence! Running into you at McDonald’s?”

Chen Jiayan blinked, shrugging as if to say, “What can you do?” “This city’s not that big, and A University isn’t far. What’s so surprising about running into me?”

This city really was small—but she still hadn’t seen Shi Yan.

Ruan Zhizhi pressed her lips together, resisting the urge to ask about him. What right did she have to inquire about his recent life?

Lu Wanyi sat next to her, turning to her with a look of realization: “Hey, what happened to that handsome guy we had lunch with last time? Why isn’t he here today?”

Chen Jiayan tore open his burger wrapper casually: “You mean Shi Yan? He took the day off, and lately he hasn’t seemed in a great mood—didn’t dare provoke this ‘emperor.’”

He paused, then added, “But a while back, he seemed really happy. Like all the ice had melted off him—I even wondered if he’d been possessed by aliens.”

Shi Yan… hadn’t been in a good mood recently?

Could it be because of her?

Ruan Zhizhi silently listened to Chen Jiayan and Lu Wanyi chatting, occasionally taking a bite of her burger without tasting it, her mind far away.