CHAPTER 30: THE SHAPE OF LOVE

That weekend, Ruan Zhizhi spent two whole days at home, writing her news article without sleep or rest.

The fifth cup of coffee sat cooling on her desk as her fingers flew across the keyboard, the slightly worn diary lying open beside her.

Inside the diary, there was no light, no warmth — only suffocating darkness and the overwhelming despair of a young girl.

Finally, she typed the last period. Just then, her phone rang. To her surprise, it was a call from Gu Nian.

Rubbing her aching temples, Ruan Zhizhi picked up. “Long time no see, Miss Newlywed. How’s the honeymoon?”

On the other end, Gu Nian’s voice was as sweet and charming as ever. “Absolutely perfect! Fengjin and I went to Paris to see the Eiffel Tower, then New York for the Statue of Liberty, and even Bali for the sunny beaches. This month has been the happiest, most perfect time of my entire life!”

Hearing the uncontrollable happiness in her tone, Ruan Zhizhi couldn’t help but smile too. “As long as you’re happy. Congratulations on your marriage.”

May you two grow old together and stay forever in love.

“Oh, right! That’s not why I called,” Gu Nian quickly corrected herself, realizing she’d gone off track. “Zhizhi, I heard you turned down Li Sichen’s confession — is that true? Other people might not know, but I do. Back then, you liked him so much you were practically willing to give up everything. How could you be so ruthless now?”

Ruan Zhizhi froze for a moment before answering softly, “You know… ever since the day I came back to the country, being with Li Sichen has never been an option for me.”

Gu Nian sighed. “Well, maybe that’s for the best. There’s too much history between you two. Even if you got back together, happiness isn’t guaranteed. But, about what I told you before — have you thought about it? Honestly, I really think Shi Yan is a perfect choice. First, he’s handsome. Second, he’s wealthy. And lastly, I’ve worked with him for years, and his image has always been spotless — no scandals, no gossip, absolutely clean.”

She paused for a moment, then cautiously added, “Zhizhi, I know you’re scared of getting hurt now, I understand you too well. That’s why I feel like Shi Yan, someone who seems almost untouched by worldly desires, is actually the safest choice for you.”

The room fell silent, so quiet that the soft ticking of the clock on the wall became deafening. One, two, three beats.

“I know he treats me well,” Ruan Zhizhi murmured after a long pause. “I just… I wonder if it’s unfair to him if I only think about my own feelings.”

She knew Shi Yan liked her — the way he looked at her made it feel like he wanted to give her the entire world.

But deep down, she asked herself: Ruan Zhizhi, can you truly like him the way he likes you?

If she couldn’t… then maybe staying friends, for now, was better.

Gu Nian, however, clearly didn’t agree. “Oh, come on, Zhizhi. It’s just dating, not marriage. You don’t need to overthink it. Life’s short — if you don’t try, how will you ever know? What if, once you’re together, you find out you’re a perfect match and your feelings only grow deeper?”

…

Could that really happen?

After hanging up the call, Ruan Zhizhi sat in a long daze.

Memories came flooding back.

The first time they met at the café — he had walked ahead of her and bought the last macaron. Later, on the bus to Yunnan, he had casually handed her a piece of candy.

That night in the Lijiang bar, he’d folded her a paper rose, which she’d inexplicably kept in her down jacket pocket ever since, never throwing it away.

Later, back in City A, on New Year’s Eve, they’d run into each other on the street by pure coincidence. To thank him for taking care of her during the trip, she’d treated him to an embarrassingly cheap dinner — and somehow, they’d ended up watching the fireworks together.

Then came that night of heavy rain, when he insisted on giving her his umbrella and walked into the downpour alone, his silhouette lonely and quiet.

At the hospital, when her face was as pale as paper, drifting in and out of consciousness, he woke her up, handed her a cup of brown sugar water, and carefully bandaged her wound.

Two days ago, at the interview scene, in the middle of the crowd, he had held her for the first time. His cold, deep voice kept echoing in her ears, over and over, as if cursed into her memory — impossible to forget.

…

There were so many, countless little moments like these. Only when pieced together one by one could she finally realize — that man, aloof and gloomy as he seemed, had already poured all of his sincerity into her, bit by bit, without reservation.

Ruan Zhizhi, who had always thought her heart was calm as still water, suddenly felt as if she heard the sound of ice quietly melting.

She thought… perhaps she really should give herself a chance — a chance to have happiness.

Sitting cross-legged on the carpet, lost in thought, Ruan Zhizhi finally made up her mind. The moment she reached that decision, an invisible weight lifted off her shoulders. The suffocating pressure and confusion of the past few days seemed to vanish instantly.

She stood up, stretched her limbs, and felt her stomach growling faintly. Too lazy to put on a coat, she just slipped into a sweater dress, grabbed her wallet, and headed downstairs to find something to eat.

Humming softly to herself, she walked down the stairs in a lighthearted mood, already planning in her heart: the next time she saw Shi Yan, she would tell him — she had thought it through, and she wanted to be with him.

Tonight’s moonlight was beautiful, serene and gentle like flowing water. The stars above twinkled as though whispering secrets to her. Walking along the quiet street, she felt a slight chill from not wearing a coat, so she decided not to wander too far and looked for food nearby, around the neighborhood.

It was close to nine o’clock now, and there weren’t many people out eating anymore. Most of the street food stalls had already closed. After wandering for a while, Ruan Zhizhi finally spotted a small rice ball shop still open. Delighted, she quickened her steps and walked in.

Inside, the shop owner was busy at the counter, wearing gloves and working quickly. There were only two other customers ahead of her, so it looked like she had made it just in time. Ruan Zhizhi let out a small sigh of relief and joined the line.

When it was her turn, the shop owner glanced up and gave her a hearty smile. “You came just in time, young lady. There’s just enough sticky rice left to make one last rice ball.”

“Looks like I’m lucky tonight,” Ruan Zhizhi replied with a smile. As usual, she asked for pork floss and sausage as fillings. When the rice ball was done, the owner kindly added a salted egg yolk for free.

After paying, she walked out of the shop holding the warm rice ball in her hands, thinking that today really was turning out to be a wonderful day.

She followed the same route back toward her apartment complex. The street was growing quieter, with only a few office workers walking their dogs, young couples strolling hand in hand, and occasionally, an elderly person with silver hair leaning on a cane.

A large fire truck, sirens blaring and red lights flashing, sped past in the middle of the road, kicking up a cloud of dust. Ruan Zhizhi instinctively stepped back toward the sidewalk, tugging her sweater sleeves down to keep warm.

The night fell silent again, so quiet that the sound of her own footsteps seemed loud.

Clutching the rice ball in her arms, she reached an intersection just as the light turned from green to red. She stopped along with the rest of the small crowd, patiently waiting.

Five seconds. Four seconds. Three seconds—

Ruan Zhizhi yawned, lazily lifting her gaze to glance across the street — and the next moment, her eyes froze.

That silhouette… it couldn’t be, right?

Shi Yan’s figure… she wasn’t seeing things, was she?

Under the quiet night sky, the man stood across the street, wearing a pure white baseball jacket. His tall, lean figure carried a faint sense of detachment, his back straight as he walked alone under the pale streetlight.

In the dim glow, his side profile was cold and sharp, like a flower blooming from a cliff edge — dangerous, yet irresistibly captivating.

He looked like he was about to walk away, and Ruan Zhizhi suddenly felt an unexplainable panic rising in her chest. Before the light even turned green, she found herself already taking a step forward.

Pushed and squeezed among the slow-moving crowd, every step felt unbearably difficult — yet, for some reason, the desire to see him grew stronger and stronger.

Finally, after struggling her way across, she stood on the opposite side… but now, she hesitated, afraid to look up, terrified that his familiar silhouette might have vanished into the sea of people.

Just as she stood there, torn between moving and stopping, a slender, elegant hand suddenly appeared in front of her without warning — quiet and steady, reaching out as if it had always been meant for her.

Her heart skipped a beat. Without even looking up, Ruan Zhizhi instinctively placed her hand into his.

His fingertips were cold, but warmth slowly spread from his palm into hers.

Then, she slowly lifted her gaze — and met Shi Yan’s dark, cool eyes.

“Always rushing when you cross the street,” he said, his voice low and indifferent.

There wasn’t even the slightest trace of surprise on his face, as if, in this vast and bustling city, their meeting here had always been destined.

Ruan Zhizhi stared at him without blinking, just about to say something — when her nose suddenly itched, and she sneezed unexpectedly.

Shi Yan frowned slightly, tugging her closer to the sidewalk before effortlessly taking off his white jacket and draping it over her shoulders. But even that didn’t seem enough — he carefully pulled the sleeves over her arms, helping her wear it properly.

Still in a daze, Ruan Zhizhi obediently followed his movements. She lowered her head and watched as Shi Yan bent slightly, aligning the zipper and pulling it all the way up until even her chin was covered snugly.

They happened to be standing right outside a milk tea shop. Shi Yan glanced at it briefly, then, without saying a word, walked in and ordered her a cup of hot milk.

Ruan Zhizhi stood next to him, shoulder to shoulder, watching him quietly. In that moment, happiness washed over her like a sudden tide, so overwhelming she could hardly breathe.

Shi Yan turned back, holding the cup of steaming milk. The rising vapor blurred his features into a soft haze, leaving only his deep, obsidian eyes clear and bright — like tiny flames, burning straight through her self-control.

Tonight, Shi Yan looked especially captivating… or maybe, she thought, it was because she had finally lowered her guard.

“Shi Yan, from now on, whatever I ask you, you just answer me, okay?” She pressed her lips together, as if summoning up all her courage before speaking.

Shi Yan placed the warm glass of milk into her hands to warm them up, his voice calm and emotionless as he gave a soft “Mm.”

Ruan Zhizhi took a deep breath and said solemnly, “Now… say you like me.”

Without so much as a blink, without even the slightest hesitation, he replied, “I like you.”

“Say you can’t live without me.”

“In this lifetime, I can’t live without you.”

“Say you want me to be your girlfriend.”

The moment the words left her lips, the world seemed to fall silent for a brief, fleeting second. Her clear eyes fixed firmly on Shi Yan, her voice trembling slightly at the end, but she stubbornly refused to back down.

Around them, the crowd surged and the city lights glittered, yet he seemed oblivious to it all. Under the glow of the streetlights, his pupils were especially bright, burning so intensely it was as if they could drown her completely.

“Ruan Zhizhi,” he said, his voice deep and steady, “give me a chance… let me be your boyfriend.”

Hearing this, she couldn’t help but laugh softly, as light and graceful as a butterfly taking flight, and answered decisively, “Alright, I agree.”