Chapter 28: Unrealistic Fantasies

The lamb was crispy on the outside and tender on the inside, but too greasy, so the group, who had originally planned to devour it eagerly, ate just two pieces before taking off their gloves and moving to another table to have soup.

The lamb offal soup was fresh and rich, and with one sip, the cold seemed to lift away by half. When they had almost finished, Tan Xueying suggested playing a game.

Song Lang responded, “What game?”

Tan Xueying thought for a moment and said, “Let’s play the simplest one, ‘I Won’t Tell You Even If You Kill Me’.”

Jian Li had never heard of it before. “How do you play?”

“It’s a drawing game,” Tan Xueying explained the rules. “There will be seven pieces of paper. We draw randomly, and the person who picks the one with the writing on it loses. The rest of the group can ask the loser anything. The person must answer and cannot be evasive. However, just to be clear, no one is allowed to ask overly personal or tricky questions. If more than half of the group thinks a question is inappropriate, the person who asked will be punished.”

Song Lang gnawed on a lamb bone and asked, “What’s the punishment?”

Tan Xueying replied, “You have to run from the door to the tree on the other side and back twice. Even if you answer evasively, you still have to do it. That’s the spirit of the game. If you can’t answer, you lose and get punished. No sulking allowed.”

They used a chopstick holder as the container, and the seven pieces of paper were thrown inside.

Song Lang clapped his hands, “It won’t be me. I’ve got great luck.”

The draw was complete, and Jian Li ended up with the paper that had the writing on it.

“Who starts asking the questions?” Qing Wen asked, somewhat disappointed.

Tan Xueying replied, “We’ll go counterclockwise.”

Zhou Shubei was sitting diagonally opposite Jian Li, and as the first round started, everyone asked some ordinary questions. When it was Zhou Shubei’s turn, Jian Li, holding a warm cup of water, wondered what he might ask.

Zhou Shubei leaned lazily against the back of his chair, his arm casually resting on his knee. His phone was like a toy in his hand. “Why did you choose to study robotics engineering?”

Jian Li answered, “I want to create a protective robot.”

Song Lang was curious. “A protective robot?”

“A robot that can automatically identify danger and protect the person in danger,” Jian Li explained.

“That’s the first time I’ve heard of such a thing,” Zhao Xun commented. “The difficulty must be high, and the employment rate for this profession isn’t great, especially since you’re a girl.”

Before Zhao Xun could finish, Chu Yue reacted unhappily, “What’s wrong with being a girl? Is the low employment rate specific to girls, or is it just a problem with the profession?”

Seeing his girlfriend getting upset, Zhao Xun quickly apologized, “I didn’t mean that. What I meant was that this field already has a low employment rate, and it’s even harder for someone like Jian Li to make a protective robot, especially since most robots are used in industrial settings now.”

“That’s true,” Jian Li replied calmly, “But difficulty doesn’t mean it’s impossible.”

Her words were firm, showing determination. She had already prepared herself for the challenges ahead.

Zhou Shubei looked at her and suddenly remembered how she insisted on ice skating by herself this afternoon. She was making the most of every moment, pushing herself to the limit.

Zhao Xun poured himself a glass of beer, “I said the wrong thing, I’ll take a penalty shot.”

He drank it in one go.

Zhou Shubei smiled, “Indeed.”

Jian Li looked at him as he put his phone down, unsure if he was referring to her or Zhao Xun.

The second round began.

Tan Xueying shook the chopstick holder and mumbled softly, “Spirits of heaven, let Zhou Shubei draw it.” Jian Li smiled lightly, feeling warm inside.

This game had been spontaneously organized, all for her.

In the first round, Jian Li had drawn the written paper, and now, in the second round, it was her turn to start.

Tan Xueying: “First, it’s not me.”

Qing Wen: “Secondly, it’s also not me.”

Chu Yue: “Then, it’s not me either.”

Jian Li opened her paper, and it was blank. She followed along, “Finally, it’s not me.”

Zhao Xun: “Plus one.”

Song Lang: “Same here.”

Everyone’s gaze focused on Zhou Shubei. Tan Xueying raised her fist in celebration, “As expected, sincerity works!”

Song Lang, more excited than anyone else, rubbed his hands together, “I have to think hard about what to ask. It’s rare that Old Zhou has such bad luck, too bad he can’t do a big dare.” Song Lang proposed, “How about we add one to this round?”

Asking questions alone didn’t seem fun.

“Sure,” Zhou Shubei said, crumpling the paper, his smile lazy. “Six questions, one dare. You choose.”

“Zhou Ge is so generous!” Song Lang clapped his hands. “Let’s think about it, guys.”

Tan Xueying quickly typed on her phone: [So we’ve got an undercover agent here.]

[Chu Yue: I’ll add a chicken leg to Song Lang later.]

[Qing Wen: And add a lamb leg.]

Tan Xueying thought for a moment and said, “I have one. Choose someone you think is pretty good from the opposite sex, and make eye contact with them for three minutes without smiling. If you smile, you’ll be punished.”

“Great, this is a good one! You really are the game master,” Song Lang said, looking at Zhou Shubei. “What do you think, Zhou Ge?”

Zhou Shubei propped his long legs on the chair, looking across at the person who was eating vegetables, his pale face flushed by the heat in the room.

“I give up,” he said, standing up and walking toward the door. “The first tree?”

He was about to run, and the people from the two tables nearby gathered around to watch. Jian Li watched him through the crowd, hiding the disappointment in her eyes.

It was exactly as she had feared.

He treated her well only because of politeness, out of consideration for someone being invested in, or perhaps because of sympathy and pity.

“Li Li, are you okay?” Tan Xueying asked, “This doesn’t mean anything. He might have just thought it would be inappropriate to choose someone in front of everyone, or maybe he thought the punishment was more fun. See, now the atmosphere is lively.”

“Yeah, Zhou Shubei has never had a girlfriend, and he’s not close to any other girls. Even when others pass him water while playing basketball, he doesn’t accept it. But he taught you ice skating alone, which means you’re different to him. Otherwise, with a coach available, he could have refused if he didn’t want to teach.”

Jian Li smiled lightly, “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

Not wanting to make them worry, she stood up. “Let’s go, we’ll watch him run.”

Zhou Shubei was already the most eye-catching person in the crowd, and now with more people gathering, many came over to watch. Jian Li stood at the outer edge of the crowd, watching him stretch his limbs before running toward the finish line after Song Lang said “Go.”

His long legs made his advantage clear, like the hottest wind of summer, or the proudest branch of winter, or like a sail in the sea. She reached out as far as she could, but she could only touch the air he passed through, feeling only emptiness.

She watched him reach the finish line, one long leg reaching forward and turning with the momentum.

The people on either side cheered and clapped. Some were recording videos on their phones, and Jian Li heard someone saying something about him. After two laps, Zhou Shubei had completed the punishment, and the crowd clapped together. Some became interested and suggested a few people race against each other, many eager to try.

Jian Li saw Zhou Shubei smiling and talking to others, his head slightly lowered, listening carefully to someone’s words, his lips curving into a faint smile. She saw a girl take out her phone, seemingly wanting to exchange contact details. Zhou Shubei grabbed his bangs and glanced toward the room.

Jian Li was nudged by the crowd, and a tall man blocked her view like an unmovable wall, separating her from Zhou Shubei.

A slight pain surged in her lower abdomen, giving her an excuse to leave. She pushed through the crowd, hearing someone shout “Zhou Shubei, you can do it!” before she quickly quickened her pace.

Back in the room, she pressed her hand to her stomach, feeling a bit dizzy, and used a mercury thermometer to measure her temperature.

37.9°C—low fever.

She probably caught a chill from the wind during the ice skating session this afternoon.

Jian Li got up again, boiled two packets of cold medicine, drank them, and lay back in bed to rest.

Her phone beeped.

[Zhou Shubei: Not feeling well?]

Jian Li: It’s nothing.

After sending the message, she turned her phone to silent and curled up in bed.

She thought back to many years ago, to a Chinese New Year.

She loved the New Year because it was when Jian Zhiguo and Zhang Wenxiu were busy visiting relatives. She had a brief period of freedom. That time, it was Jian Zhiguo’s older sister—her aunt—who came to visit them.

While eating, her aunt chatted with Jian Zhiguo and Zhang Wenxiu. She mentioned how she got first place in her last finals. Her aunt laughed and praised her, even rewarding her with a red envelope.

It was the first time she received a reward. She was so happy, she felt light as she walked. She carefully saved the red envelope, not wanting to open or fold it, placing it in her favorite book, then taking out her unfinished homework.

She wanted to show more effort, so that next time her aunt came, she would smile at her and praise her for being smart and well-behaved. She imagined her aunt would pat her head and say, “Little Li, you’re so good, I really like you a lot.”

That day, she felt the most proud, sitting at her desk, finishing one practice question after another, even though her back ached. When she went to get some water, she saw the lights on in her parents’ room, and voices came from inside.

Curious, and hopeful, she expected to hear more praise from her aunt, who might advise her parents to love her more.

She tiptoed closer, hoping to hear more praise, but instead, she overheard Jian Zhiguo say—

“Aunt, you gave too much, it’s not easy for you to make money.”

“Ah, just buy Xiao Jie some snacks or toys.” Her aunt’s voice was soft. “But don’t tell anyone, the red envelope only has two yuan.”

Jian Li couldn’t describe how she felt at that moment. It was like a bucket of cold water was poured over her. She went back to her room, opened the red envelope, and found two one-yuan bills. On the front of the envelope, it said(Good fortune as vast as the East Sea).

She almost collapsed, but still clung to the hope that her aunt must have still cared about her. Maybe she gave more to her younger brother because he was smaller and needed more care.

The next day, Jian Yunxie shared his new MP3 with her.

She looked at the small, delicate MP3, with Jay Chou’s “Where Is the Happiness We Promised” playing in the headphones. Jian Zhiguo was at the store, and Zhang Wenxiu and her aunt were preparing lunch in the kitchen.

“Sis, what songs do you want to listen to? Write them down and I’ll download them for you this afternoon. I can download 200 songs for free,” Jian Yunxie said.

Jian Li looked at him. “Did Aunt give it to you?”

“Yeah, Aunt said we should listen to it together,” Jian Yunxie said.

Jian Yunxie looked more like Zhang Wenxiu, with a bit of baby fat on his face. Jian Li resembled Jian Zhiguo more, but her nose and lips were like Zhang Wenxiu’s. Anyone could tell they were siblings.

“How much did Aunt give you in the red envelope?” Jian Li asked.

Jian Yunxie hesitated for a moment, then decided to tell her the truth. “Two hundred, but don’t let anyone know, Aunt and Dad said I shouldn’t tell you.”

At that time, she hadn’t learned to hide her emotions completely. She couldn’t smile, and didn’t want to say anything. She ripped off the headphones and handed them back to Jian Yunxie, pushing him out of the room. Jian Yunxie stumbled and fell. Then she was scolded by everyone in turn.

She stood there, looking up at her parents as they comforted Jian Yunxie, while reprimanding her for not being considerate of her younger brother.

She saw the same disgust in her aunt’s eyes as in Jian Zhiguo’s.

Then she understood.

How could she be loved?

It was all just her unrealistic fantasy.