Chapter 20

11:00 AM (3)

Realizing what wild thoughts were running through her head, Xu Muzi felt her mind explode, her face flushing as she averted her gaze from Deng Yun’s eyes and lips, feeling lost.

The most troubling part was that she couldn’t control her physiological reactions:

When she saw his pronounced Adam’s apple, her breathing completely faltered.

She even… swallowed hard.

Deng Yun was still lying back on the carpet, his posture too relaxed, his oversized short sleeves skewed as she had pressed herself against him. He bore half of her weight, and a faint blue vein was visible on his neck.

Her gaze fell back to his lips.

If, if she really…

He held his phone in his hand, lazily lowering his eyelids to look at her, and suddenly asked an irrelevant question with a smile: “Should I keep the video?”

Xu Muzi panicked even more, completely ignoring the suspicious tone in Deng Yun’s voice. She felt like a droplet of water falling into a hot oil pot, hastily scrambling off him and jumping away.

She was so flustered that as soon as she stood up, her calf bumped into the sharp corner of a low table, causing her to wince in pain and squat down.

Deng Yun sat up and asked, “Did you bump into something?”

“Yeah.”

“Your leg or your foot?”

Xu Muzi rubbed the side of her leg and hurriedly replied, “It’s nothing, just a little painful. It’ll be fine soon. Don’t worry about it; just send me the video… the video.”

Deng Yun replied with an “Okay.”

The bedroom fell silent again, and she couldn’t help but turn her head to look—

Deng Yun was leaning against the sofa, fiddling with his phone. He tapped a few times on the screen with his thumb, stretched out his arm to pick up a cigarette box from the carpet, skillfully tapped out a cigarette, and put it in his mouth…

He held the cigarette, then suddenly looked up at her.

Their eyes met, and Xu Muzi quickly turned her head away in embarrassment.

The sound of the lighter didn’t come for a while. When the video finally arrived on her phone, she noticed that he had already placed the cigarette on the table.

The bedroom was too quiet; she could clearly hear the rustling sounds of Deng Yun’s every movement.

Xu Muzi cleared her throat and asked, “The vinyl record you played last time was pretty good; let’s listen to it again.”

“Cigarettes after sex?”

“…Yeah.”

Deng Yun placed the record on the turntable.

The soft, melancholic voice of Cigarettes After Sex flowed gently through the quiet night.

They chatted a bit, the conversation casual.

They talked about the band’s style and piano music, and even extended the topic to discuss their parents’ vanity.

She said, “I was quite good in elementary school. The piano school I attended outside valued me a lot; they even made my photo into a poster.”

During those years, whenever there was a family gathering, Xu Muzi’s parents would book a large private room on the second floor of a restaurant called Rongsheng.

Actually, no one in the family liked Cantonese food much, but the second-floor private room had big windows that perfectly showcased Xu Muzi’s poster at the intersection.

Sitting on the sofa, Xu Muzi asked Deng Yun, “Have you seen it?”

Deng Yun, sitting in the computer chair opposite her, relaxed his legs and smiled, nodding: “Yeah, I’ve seen it. You looked pretty.”

Xu Muzi’s thoughts momentarily stuttered; the brief interruption gave rise to a small, wicked thought. She could only grab a sofa cushion and hold it tightly against her chest, trying her best to hide her feelings for Deng Yun.

She comforted herself like this:

That impulsive feeling just now was merely the result of drinking too much, just the effect of alcohol; it would be fine once she sobered up.

She couldn’t remember if they had finished playing all the songs on the B side of the record.

The alcohol made her sleepy, and her eyelids gradually grew heavy.

Before her anxiety, desire, and confusion could fade, her body had already slipped into sleep mode.

The next morning, Xu Muzi was awakened by the ringing of her phone. She rolled over and fumbled for it, quickly turning away like a vampire avoiding the light, burying her head in the blanket as she groggily answered the call.

“Hello?”

Deng Yun’s voice sounded in her ear: “It’s time to get up and go home.”

Xu Muzi was silent for several seconds, then suddenly sat up with a start, the black blanket sliding off her.

She had actually slept in Deng Yun’s bed.

And Deng Yun, who was calling her, was actually in the bedroom.

He had one leg on the floor, reclining on a small sofa a few meters away, half his head sunk into a soft cushion.

He held the phone to his ear, shielding his eyes from the morning light with the back of his hand.

Xu Muzi had spent a few nights with Deng Yun before, but they were always outside.

This was her first time sleeping in his bed, and her heart began to race at the thought.

What made her heart race even more was the overly bright light in the room.

Xu Muzi belatedly glanced at the time on her phone; it was already past seven in the morning.

This was bad.

At this time, her parents had definitely returned home.

It was easier to run into people in the morning light; there was no way to climb over walls or through windows. She had left through the front door last night, and since she hadn’t locked the bedroom door, she didn’t know if she would be discovered.

With a flushed face, she combed her hair and muttered softly, “Why didn’t you wake me up earlier…”

Deng Yun lazily turned off the screen of the phone against his ear, keeping his eyes closed: “I just woke up, too.”

While Xu Muzi was frantically adjusting her thin sweater and thinking of ways to get home, Deng Yun told her that his parents hadn’t come back last night, so it was likely that Xu Muzi’s parents hadn’t returned home either.

It was a bit unusual that day; the elders often stayed up late drinking, but they usually returned home.

The people involved couldn’t predict the future, and right now, she just felt like she had escaped a disaster.

After hearing Deng Yun’s analysis, Xu Muzi sat on the edge of the bed and called her mother.

She beat around the bush and after two minutes, learned that her parents really hadn’t come back home, and she suddenly breathed a sigh of relief.

Xu Muzi hurried home just in time for when her aunt was going out to buy groceries. She tidied herself up, grabbed a slice of toast, and ran to the piano room.

She repeatedly played Bach’s pieces but couldn’t truly immerse herself in the gentle and serene atmosphere. In the end, she slumped over the piano in despair.

It had been so long; the effects of the alcohol should have worn off by now. Why was last night’s impulsiveness still lingering?

The sound of Deng Yun calmly recounting past events echoed in her mind; she recalled the way she had fallen onto him, having to use her arms to prop herself on his chest for support, and the slight vibrations she felt when he laughed.

To distract herself, Xu Muzi did everything she could.

She booked a plane ticket back to school, even dragging out her suitcase to pack some things she wanted to take with her.

Messages were constantly popping up in the IELTS class group chat.

Classmates were discussing the upcoming semester, some making plans to go shopping; others complaining about the school’s terrible food; and some were booking tickets to travel together since they were in the same country.

She looked at a few messages with little interest, and when she exited the group chat interface, she saw a male classmate’s profile picture pop up but felt no reaction, setting the group notifications to Do Not Disturb.

In the past, when she sneaked glances at the boys in her IELTS class, she never felt such a strong urge.

That kind of affection was light; seeing him made her happy, but not seeing him was okay too.

When she really fell ill or had a piano competition and had to take a leave of absence, she didn’t have the feeling of, “Ah, I can’t see him,” nor did she feel regret.

That kind of regret was what she felt now.

Even more unsettling than regret, it felt like an addiction.

Throughout the entire day that Xu Muzi felt restless, Deng Yun still hadn’t contacted her.

Xu Muzi’s parents didn’t come home until evening, bringing a strange aunt with them.

At that time, Xu Muzi had just finished dinner. Hearing the noise at the entrance, she put down her phone and went to greet them.

Xu Muzi’s mother said, “This is my daughter, Muzi. Muzi, come say hello to Aunt Chen.”

“Hello, Aunt Chen.”

The woman referred to as Aunt Chen smiled and said, “Does the young lady have something on her mind? She doesn’t look too happy.”

“Not at all…”

There was also an aunt in the house who chatted with the guest after preparing new slippers for her: “Our Muzi has this kind of look; she seems quite aloof. But she’s actually a little girl at heart. She even cries when playing touching pieces on the piano.”

Xu Muzi’s father changed his clothes and went out again.

Xu Muzi’s mother instructed the aunt to prepare some tea and snacks, beckoning Aunt Chen: “Xiao Chen, come on, let’s go chat in the room.”

After the elders went off to do their things, Xu Muzi also took her phone back to the piano room on the third floor.

There had been many times before when she was misunderstood as being angry or in a bad mood; in fact, she just hadn’t shown any expression.

After working in her home for a long time, the aunt was like family to her, even more attentive than her parents. The aunt knew she didn’t like her cold demeanor and would explain it away, fearing it would make her sad.

But Aunt Chen hadn’t said anything wrong; she indeed felt a bit down today.

As for the reason…

It was fine to honestly admit it. She wanted to see Deng Yun, to chat, or maybe even more.

The video that Deng Yun sent her had already been watched several times. She wanted to meet him but found there was no reason to do so.

She recalled the question he had asked last night:

“But if you want me to contact you, what exactly do you want to do?”

While lost in thought, she unexpectedly received a call from Deng Yun.

He asked her if she wanted to go to the drive-in theater to watch a movie.

Xu Muzi perked up: “Yes!”

The movie that day was a terrible film released during the Spring Festival holiday.

They arrived relatively early, parking close to the front. The screen was clear, and the sound from the car’s FM radio was good enough.

However, the plot logic of the movie was lacking, and the comedic parts were overly exaggerated.

Or perhaps it wasn’t the movie’s fault?

Xu Muzi found it hard to concentrate. Her peripheral vision kept drifting to Deng Yun, even noticing that the wound on his thumb had healed, leaving only a faint scar.

The movie ended around two in the morning, and Deng Yun parked the car about ten meters away from Xu Muzi’s house.

The car’s FM was playing classic songs from the 1990s. Xu Muzi unbuckled her seatbelt, but Deng Yun didn’t unlock the car door.

He asked, “School starts soon, right?”

“Yeah, I just booked my flight during the day. I’m leaving next week. How about you? What day does school start for you?”

“Two days later than you.”

“Oh.”

Xu Muzi had hesitated all day, constantly thinking about Deng Yun’s words: “Come over and show me.”

What would happen if she actually did that?

If there were consequences, it was his suggestion that led her to demonstrate.

“Deng Yun, I thought of something exciting.”

“What is it?”

Xu Muzi found it hard to say.

After being so timid for so many years, she didn’t understand how she had the courage that night to suddenly lean in and kiss Deng Yun while fully sober.