Chapter 12: Raiding the House

The two esteemed ministers’ residences were in turmoil the whole night. By the following day, when the Western Garden gathered the high officials for a meeting, Xu Ge Lao and Yan Ge Lao could only be supported by eunuchs as they made their way to court. 

Meanwhile, Feixuan Zhenjun, in an unusual departure from his normal behavior, didn’t wear his beloved Taoist robe and flutter around the hall like a big moth. Instead, he obediently sat behind a screen, with only a vague shadow visible.

The matter to be discussed today was very simple. Left Deputy Censor Di Maoyan, who had been inspecting the salt trade, had just returned to the Beijing when he was detained by the lurking Imperial Guards. 

Before he could even raise a protest, he was immediately sent to the Imperial Prison for interrogation. 

At the same time, the Imperial Guards began raiding Di’s residence, inventorying his possessions. The entire operation proceeded seamlessly, perfectly demonstrating Feixuan Zhenjun’s unparalleled skill in managing both internal and external affairs.

While Feixuan Zhenjun might be lazy when it comes to governing the state, his ability to make money is unparalleled. In the world of the Taoism, wealth, land, and resources are essential; without money, how can one practice the Taoism? Without money, how can one make pills? Even though Feixuan Zhenjun had secluded himself in the Western Garden for decades without engaging with outside officials, he understood this principle well.

Thus, the theme of the meeting was very clear: to discuss how to extract valuable items from the emperor’s little treasury.

However, the emperor’s persona is one of frugality, dressing in only eight sets of clothes throughout the year, and it wouldn’t be fitting to lower himself to discuss dividing spoils with his ministers over tea. In the past, this task had always been shouldered by Yan Ge Lao, but now that Yan was too ill to even walk properly, Minister Li Zhaifang had to step in to relieve the emperor:

“I have discovered many prohibited items during the raid of the criminal official’s residence. The criminal official’s transgressions are so egregious that they cannot all be detailed here. He should be severely punished to set an example!”

Since these were prohibited items, they couldn’t simply be confiscated by the treasury. Only Feixuan Zhenjun, with his unique skills, could take these lost treasures under his wing!

This is called making the best use of resources, not extravagance.

This was an old tactic of the Taoist priest, and his subordinates were all too familiar with it. But one mustn’t overdo it. Feixuan Zhenjun finally spoke:

“How exactly were his actions so egregious? You should explain to the ministers.”

Li Zhaifang respectfully bowed his head and began reporting the various criminal items found during the raid, starting with tools that were highly inappropriate or exceeded the norms, including golden items sculpted with five-colored auspicious dragons, bright yellow seven-treasure jade trees, luxury drinking vessels, ceremonial items resembling those used by the emperor, and some unexpected curiosities.

“The criminal official even secretly kept items meant to be presented to the emperor for his own use!” Li Zhaifang said with indignation. 

“I interrogated the criminal official’s servants and learned that Di Maoyan had once ordered a red-gold coiled dragon bell to be made as a tribute to the emperor. But when the craftsmen made a mistake, he shamelessly kept the bell for himself! I’ve already asked around, and the bell was originally supposed to have an inscription praising the emperor’s diligent work and dedication to the state.

But the criminal official, in his arrogance, allowed the craftsmen to carve the words ‘Chao Qian, Xi Ti’ as ‘Sunset, Chao Qian.’ Isn’t this an insult to the emperor?”

Upon hearing this, Mu Qi, who had been dozing off at the palace gates, suddenly jolted awake and looked around, almost thinking he had slipped into some strange world.

Even in a time-limited reenactment, there was no need to copy such details, was there?

However, the senior officials present were all indifferent to Mu Qi’s outburst. They all understood the situation well. 

They knew that Li Zhaifang had truly hit a nerve with the emperor. Feixuan Zhenjun had lived alone in the Western Garden for over ten years, and his actions had nothing to do with diligent governance. 

But just as bald men dread the word “bald,” insulting the emperor’s diligence with the words “Chao Qian, Xi Ti” was a direct slap in the face to the emperor!

The light curtain behind the screen fluttered, and no one could clearly see Feixuan Zhenjun’s expression. But the emperor’s tone seemed unchanged:

“This man had ill intentions when trying to gain favor. I only wear eight sets of clothes throughout the year, so why would I care for such extravagant trinkets?”

[What can I say? I can only agree.]

The emperor’s speech paused for a moment but continued: “You should also warn all the ministers in the Six Ministries, Nine Ministers, and the thirteen provinces, reminding them to be diligent and frugal and not to disappoint my expectations…”

[That old man is so disgusting, it makes my chest hurt! Forget it, no internal spy; let’s go for a big An joke.

At a meeting of the Six Ministries to implement the emperor’s directive on frugality, the officer in charge of the meeting spoke: ‘To make the statistics clear, please have the officials who live luxuriously sit on the left and those who live frugally sit on the right.’

The officials sat in order, except for one middle-aged man who stood in the middle without moving.

The officer asked, ‘How do you live?’

The man replied: ‘I personally wear only eight sets of clothes throughout the year, but I plan to spend twenty million silver to renovate the three main halls.’

The officer hurriedly kneeled: ‘Your Majesty, please come to the podium!’]

The emperor’s instructions had not even been fully delivered when his throat suddenly seemed to constrict, and he made strange choking sounds. Meanwhile, Xu, standing behind the Xu Ge Lao, let out a faint groan and slumped, his eyes rolling up. 

Fortunately, the eunuch standing nearby quickly caught him to prevent him from falling flat on his face.

Standing in front, Yan was perplexed and turned to look at his two colleagues. He saw that Xu was on the verge of collapse, and Yan was pale, both of them looking frail, which made him worry. 

How could his two potential successors look even more unwell than he did? If the pavilion had come to this point, how could he justify his own retirement plans?

Can you two hold it together? Don’t ruin my retirement plans!