Someone’s Memories (1)

Having arrived at the mansion, Callisis sat down in his office before exhaling a heavy breath. His mind felt distant and hazy, as if he had been walking through a foggy forest. Staring at the documents with a vacant expression, Callisis eventually narrowed his brows and shook his head.

The scene he had witnessed earlier kept vividly resurfacing in his mind, gnawing at his sanity. Faded, long golden hair and crimson drops of blood scattered in all directions. The image of a woman’s life extinguishing in an instant wouldn’t fade from his mind, no matter how hard he tried to erase it. It felt as though his throat was clogged, choking him.

It wasn’t merely because he had witnessed a shocking scene. If he were so fragile that he could be deeply affected by such a sight, he would have never gone there in the first place. Yet, the reason he felt so confused and stifled was likely because he had seen her.

He swallowed a bitter smile and pushed the documents he had been staring at to the corner of his desk, knowing that they wouldn’t matter anymore. He knew they wouldn’t catch his eye any longer.

In an attempt to soothe his restless and unsettled heart, he gazed out of the window. The sky, devoid of a single cloud, appeared as vast as a crimson-tinged sea. It was a very vivid and intense hue.

At that moment, while he gazed absentmindedly at the evening sunset, a cool breeze gently swept by, ruffling his hair as it passed. Within the cold touch of the wind, he felt a fleeting hint of winter. Despite that, the sky remained clear.

Summer had passed, and autumn had come and gone. In no time, the last season of the year was approaching. His time would keep flowing like that as if nothing had happened, as if her death was unrelated.

He thought he was fine. He believed he would be fine.

But it seemed he was wrong.

It was ironic that despite doing nothing, not even contemplating doing anything, he felt this contradictory feeling about being nothing more than an observer of what had happened.

Beyond his narrowed field of vision, someone’s death persisted, incessantly circling his field of view. It was as if someone intentionally kept showing him that scene, as if they were trying to torment him.

Over and over again, it repeated endlessly.

It was absurd. It wasn’t even the death of someone he had any connection with anymore.

Why, then, did his heart ache so painfully?

He tried to find an answer for the inexplicable emotions that had overtaken him, but none came to him. No, perhaps he had misconstrued something as the answer, something that wasn’t the answer at all. Suddenly, he slowly opened his eyes upon feeling the backlight through his closed eyelids and gazed at the reddening sunset beyond the window.

Even though the light was fading away, it remained vivid. Bright enough to bring tears to his eyes.

Turning away from the tears that betrayed his will, he continued to gaze at the red-stained sky. In the midst of this, an old memory suddenly resurfaced in his mind. That day, too, the sky had been as red and beautiful as it was now.

The child’s eyes, resembling that sunset, filled Callisis’ mind. A young face with rosy cheeks that looked at him with pure innocence.

A bright, shared laugher blossomed in the corners of their eyes as they gazed at each other. The time when they didn’t even know what was so wonderful about it. It was just the fact that they were together that brought them joy, both for him and her.

Now, even recalling those memories had become so faded and difficult. It was as if something had obscured it, making it hazy.

Among the countless scenes that seemed to be covered by sand and were nowhere to be seen, there was one that remained clear.

The crimson eyes of the girl he had cherished the most resembled the sunset. Her laughter was the only thing that retained its color among all the faded memories.

In his memory, she wore an ugly wreath on her head, playfully adjusting it with her fingers while radiating happiness. It was a messy crown, to the extent that if he had known her, he wouldn’t have given it a second glance, but she wore it with a happy smile as if she had received the most precious gem in the world.

The moment he had felt then, the beating of his heart, his feelings at that time—

And her.

It was so vivid, as if it had been etched into him, yet she was no longer in this world. The fact that he could no longer see the person he remembered so clearly, as if he had just seen her moments ago, felt strangely disconcerting.

Alongside this memory, a question arose:

Why did you let go of my hand?

The words he had always pondered of came to mind again. Her choice, which he didn’t understand and didn’t want to understand. Her heart, which he still couldn’t grasp, even in that final moment leading to death,

Now, there would be no way to find out. The dead do not speak.

What was power, really? What was it made of, and what makes it worth leaving him for, abandoning him for the sake of dazzling jewels? He kept pondering. Was he simply worth less than those things? Was that why she had so heartlessly let him go?

It seemed ludicrous of him that he, a mere subordinate of power, was having such thoughts.

Perhaps, on some level, he didn’t understand her. Yet, his selfish desire for her had always been so overpowering that it overshadowed any possibility of understanding. He understood her, yet he didn’t. It was a strange thing.

Nevertheless, once again, he wanted to try to understand her true intentions, maybe even rationalize why she had left him like that. It was worth trying, he believed.

In Callisis’s mind, the memories of her letting go of his hand for the sake of extravagant power began to resurface, little by little.