Those Who Received Her Love (7)

“Then, what about the child…?”

He already knew what the answer would be. Since the child never existed, it was only logical to say that the child was gone. However, he couldn’t help but feel an unnecessary impatience, fearing that the maid might catch onto his inner turmoil.

The maid’s expression remained subtle. At a first glance, it seemed as if she were concerned for Lerian, but there didn’t appear to be a deep sense of worry about the non-existent child’s death. Was it just his imagination?

A strange sense of discomfort washed over him. Soon, however, as the maid’s lips parted and her hesitant voice began to explain, he dismissed his earlier thoughts as mere delusions.

“Well…”

Her behavior was an unequivocal denial of his question. There was no need to ask further. It felt as if all his strength had left his body. Facing the subject he had known the truth about and hearing such a definitive answer left him feeling helpless. He turned his weak gaze back to Lerian.

“I see…”

A sigh-like murmur escaped from his lips. He looked at Lerian’s pale face. Were her cheeks always been this hollow? It seemed that the makeup she used to hide her troubles had concealed more than he realized. How much had she suffered?

A bitter taste lingered in his mouth. He stared at her in silence for a moment before finally leaving her chambers.

Even after he returned to his office, he still couldn’t decide how to conclude the situation.

While it was clear that Lerian had made a mistake, he couldn’t solely blame her for what had happened. After all, it was Kilianerisa who had created this situation from the beginning. So why should Lerian be punished?

Amidst his contemplation, a sudden question arose.

Did Kilianerisa know that there was poison in the tea she had handed over?

If she did, and she knowingly gave Lerian the poisoned tea, wasn’t she also at fault?

Leonard wanted to somehow find her wrongdoing. It was the only way his lover’s sins could be lessened. That’s why he needed to know the truth. Even though the truths he discovered were gradually leading him into a catastrophe, he denied the truth he didn’t want.

Because he wanted the truth to be what he hoped for. Or maybe, he just wanted to believe it that way.

After setting aside the documents he had been reviewing, he immediately went to find Kilianerisa. Unlike her usual extravagant self, she was sitting quite neatly in her seat. It seemed as though she had been waiting for someone. Well, considering what had happened, it was only natural for her to anticipate his visit.

Leonard, who had been silently observing her for a moment, finally spoke.

“Did you really give a poisoned tea to Lerian?”

It was an unexpectedly calm tone. Kilianerisa looked at him with a strange expression. Leonard couldn’t discern her intentions, which made him feel uneasy. He knew that once the word “no” came out of her mouth, there would be no turning back.

So, he anxiously waited for her response. Soon, her lips parted, and she answered.

“Yes, I did.”

Her response was surprisingly matter-of-fact, given that he had just asked if she had attempted to kill someone. This prompted him to ask once more.

“…Did you know that the tea was poisoned?”

However, there was a faint anger in his voice that couldn’t be concealed. It felt like a dormant volcano, ready to erupt at any moment. Kilianerisa looked at him with excitement and spoke almost as if singing a song.

“If I said I didn’t know, would that change anything?”

Her words were laden with hidden meaning, but her demeanor remained calm. Looking back, the Kilianerisa at that moment was oddly different from her usual self. The playful coquettishness that he found repulsive had disappeared, replaced by a seriousness in her voice. It was the first time he realized she could adopt such a tone.

Why was she saying this? Leonard felt intimidated by her calm demeanor. Please, just this once, become a true villain. Selfish thoughts surged within him. Come to think of it, he had always been selfish towards her, and she was no different.

Suddenly, a dark smile appeared on Kilianerisa’s lips.

“Why do you look at me like that? Did you have any expectations? I hope not. I am not like that.”

Now, it seemed like she had returned to her usual self. He had never expected her provocative behavior to be so welcoming. Her words were tantamount to admitting that she had indeed given a poisoned tea.

Leonard felt a mixture of anger and joy. He was relieved that he could vent his anger out on her and, more importantly, that his lover could remain by his side forever.

He shouted. Though he tried to hide it, but the voice that came out of his lips carried an unmistakable joy.

“The child in Lerian’s womb is dead. How can you be so shameless? You truly are a wicked woman!”

It was as if there had really been a child, and his voice was filled with boiling anger. It was if he was releasing all the emotions that had made him anxious until now, channeling them into anger.

Receiving such anger was always Kilianerisa’s role. She responded with a grin, cheerful and fresh, just like she always did.

“That’s great. The fact that her child is dead.”

It was a face filled with genuine relief. Seeing that, Leonard felt like all the pent-up emotions inside him were bursting out all at once. Unable to bear it any longer, he strode over to her, raising his hand high. Kilianerisa’s gaze drifted to his outstretched hands.

However, there was no sign of fear. Instead, she just stared at his hand with a look of an incredibly indifference, one that he had never seen before, as if she was waiting for him to lower his hand to strike her cheek. Seeing her like that, Leonard hesitated and stopped his hand.

He realized that there was no need for him to get so emotional. After all, she would soon meet her end due to Lerian’s scheme.

Perhaps it was his last bit of sympathy and guilt.

He lowered his hand that he had almost raised to strike, then turned away.

“You seem really strange today.”

Leonard’s footsteps paused briefly at those words. Strange. A bitter smile tugged at the corner of Leonard’s lips. It wasn’t just him who was acting strange today, so did she. However, Leonard chose not to voice that thought. It was indeed strange.

Engaging in further conversation with her at this point would be unpredictable, and he had no idea what he might say. Leonard, then, resumed his steps.

In the end, he was ultimately just a man to a woman.

***

What a selfish man he was.

The person she remembered from her past, before her death, was extremely biased to an absurd extent. So much so that he thought of himself as such. Even if he pretended to be a knight, it was nothing but an act.

Why did she make such a face in the end?

She was indeed a strange woman, but there was no denying that her life had been ruined due to her involvement with him. He felt sympathy for her, but as he recalled the hardships his beloved had endured because of her, even his last trace of sympathy was extinguished.

Nevertheless, he still carried the weight of guilt in his heart. But he didn’t regret the decision he had made.

Even if time could turn back to the past, he knew he wouldn’t change the choice he had made.

That’s why, in the end, remaining a selfish person was the last thing he could do for her.