A Letter from Decades Ago (1)

“Callisis, you know what, I’m so happy right now.”

At the sudden words, Callisis, who had been watching the festival, stopped and gazed at Kilianerisa. She was smiling with a shy blush on her cheeks.

It was truly an unexpected statement. Callisis’ gaze turned briefly to the skewer in her hand. She wouldn’t be saying that suddenly because she liked the skewer, right? Callisis thought for a moment, and then he leaned right next to her and lightly linked arms with her.

Then, he whispered softly.

“Me too.”

He meant it.

There had never been a moment when being with her was bad. He was grateful for the time he spent with her, and for the fact that she liked him. He always cherished it and knew that it was happiness.

“But why all of a sudden?”

“It’s just, I don’t think I’ve ever said that before.”

Callisis laughed softly at the words she muttered, and she avoided his gaze with a blush. When he thought about it, she had never said such words before. Well, he didn’t think it mattered because it wasn’t something he needed to hear explicitly, but now that he heard it, he felt refreshed.

It felt like his heart was swelling. It was a strange feeling like someone was lightly tickling him. Even though it was quite chilly at night, he felt strangely hot. Callisis, feeling embarrassed for no reason, his eyes looked around, and then he suddenly looked at her.

She was looking around like him, but she never made eye contact with him. The red blush that bloomed beneath her cat-like eyes was incredibly lovely.

Really, just looking at her made it impossible to feel bored. Perhaps feeling the weight of his gaze, Kilianerisa quickly glanced at him.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Because you’re beautiful.

Callisis kept those words to himself and just smiled. He knew that if he said that, she would surely frown in embarrassment.

But I should have said that.

Callisis, who was thinking about that, was a little puzzled by the strange thought that suddenly came to him. However, the brief thought that crossed his mind quickly disappeared as he saw Kilianerisa waving at him from afar. He hurriedly approached where she was.

The festival at night was sparkling with beautiful lights. It was, in fact, a common festival that could be seen anywhere. The festival was not particularly outstanding, but perhaps it looked dazzling every time he saw it due to the woman inside it.

“Hurry up. We still have a long way to go before we’re done looking around.”

As she grumbled and linked arms with him, her eyes reflected the sparkling image of the streets. The festival, which they participated in every year, had not changed much from last year or the year before, but she always seemed to see something new each time.

No, perhaps the idea that it was the same was just his own.

To their eyes, who had snuck out to attend the festival since they were children, the festival had always looked the same, but if you looked closely, there were definitely things that had changed.

New tents were added, and people that he always saw were no longer there. There were also people who had dyed their hair differently from last year, and you could see people who were getting older as time went by. These were definitely changes from last year.

How could this be considered the same scenery?

“Young lady, I’ll give you a good deal, so take a look at the items, okay?”

As they looked around, a merchant called out to them. She approached the store with curious eyes. Callisis followed her, glancing at the items displayed in the store. Even at a quick glance, they were ordinary items.

There were no splendid items worthy of catching the eye of the Lady of Hameln. Nevertheless, Kilianerisa’s eyes sparkled as if she were looking at beautiful jewels. Finding it cute, Callisis chuckled and looked around to see if there was something that would suit her.

As he did, one item caught his eye.

It was a common hairpin that could be seen anywhere. The design was simple and childish. However, the reason it oddly caught his eye was the red gem embedded in the center. Even though it was undoubtedly a cheap fake gem, there was a strange feeling that it somehow resembled the color of her eyes.

Callisis, as if possessed, picked up the hairpin and looked down at it, then the merchant whispered discreetly.

“Aya, you have a good eye, sir. This is the latest item we have, and the gem in the middle is a real one, so it’s a bit pricey. But it’s the best-selling item in the store. You might regret it if you don’t buy it. Is it for that lady over there? It looks like it would suit her, so I’ll give you a special discount. How about it?”

A wry smile emerged at the common sales pitch. A real gem? It obviously looked like a cheap fake. However, Callisis couldn’t deny that the merchant was a merchant. He didn’t really have any intention of buying it, but for some reason, he was amused by the situation. Maybe he wanted to give her a small gift, or maybe it was just a whim.

He interrupted the merchant’s enthusiastic praise of the hairpin and handed over a gold coin that had been rolling around in his pocket. The merchant, who took it, had a dazed expression on his face, but then he spoke in an excited voice.

“I, I was going to give you a discount… but if you really insist, I won’t refuse.”

Brushing off the remark, he handed the newly purchased hairpin to Kilianerisa, who was engrossed in looking at other items.

“What is this?”

“A gift.”

It was a toy-like item that could hardly be considered a gift. It was so shabby that she might not even like it and throw it away. With a belated realization, Callisis felt a rush of shame and tried to leave.

But she grabbed Callisis’ wrist and said,

“You have to do this yourself.”

“…… Huh?”

Callisis, with awkward hand movements, clumsily pinned the hairpin onto her hair. Her hair, which was already messy from walking around, was slightly tangled with the hairpin due to his clumsy hands. Even this was the best he could do, and he couldn’t even touch it further.

When Callisis pulled his hand away from her head, Kilianerisa touched her hair a few times before smiling, asking if it was okay. Then, she whispered softly.

“Thank you.”

Just because of this? With a strange sense of guilt, he said as if he was making a promise to himself.

“I’ll make something better next time.”

He thought he should make the most precious accessory in the world with her favorite gem, instead of such a cheap thing. Kilianerisa, who was looking at Callisis, shook her head.

“No, this is enough. I like this. It’s a gift from you.”

He didn’t know if she could still say that when she looked in the mirror, but seeing her happy made him feel good. She had a proud look on her face as if she genuinely liked the gift. Callisis looked at her and spoke casually.

“I’ll just give you more gifts then.”

The future held much more than what they had experienced so far, and there were so many things he wanted to give her. He would give her gifts, one by one, from the most insignificant to the most amazing. Then, she would smile like this every time, right?

However, instead of responding to his words, Kilianerisa just smiled with a mysterious meaning.

It was a smile that oddly caught his nerves, but Callisis didn’t dwell on it too much, thinking it was just his imagination.

If he had asked about the identity of that smile at that time, would things have been different?

Such a question lingered, but he didn’t know the answer to what would have happened if he had done so. It was a time that couldn’t be undone and, at the same time, a time that had already passed.

A week later, Kilianerisa asked him to break off the engagement.

***

Callisis, who had fallen asleep, suddenly opened his eyes wide. When he woke up, his face was covered in sweat. He turned his head to look out the window, and he saw that it was still early in the morning. As Callisis returned to reality, the confusion in his eyes gradually subsided.

‘Why did I dream of that at this time…’

It was already over decades ago.

However, in the dream, it felt as vivid as if he had traveled back to the past. It was a moment he had regretted for the rest of his life. A sweet memory of the past that made his heart race. But when he thought about it now, it was neither more nor less than something that made his heart ache.

No, maybe he didn’t even have that kind of excitement anymore.

He turned his head in frustration and looked at the desk. More precisely, at the letter and the old hairpin placed on it.

The gem embedded in the center of the hairpin had become so discolored to the point that its original color was unrecognizable.

Although the design was the same, the hairpin he saw in the dream looked completely different. Seeing the gem so faded, it was clear that it wasn’t a real gem. Callisis let out a hollow smile as he thought about something pointless.

His gaze, which had been fixed on the hairpin, shifted to the letter. Just looking at it made his heart strangely flutter. It was truly odd. It was just a letter, after all.

He rose from the bed, creaking his way to the desk where the letter was placed. Then, he picked up the letter and brought it close to his eyes.

As he did, the letter, which had been as white as if it had just been written, turned yellow, and his once handsome hand began to age, wrinkles forming.

He stared blankly at the changes for a moment before slowly looking around him.

The items in the room that had been with him for decades caught his eye first, and then his gaze moved to an old mirror. In the mirror, instead of a young and handsome youth, he saw the reflection of an old, frail man.

He stared at the mirror in a daze, shocked by the stark contrast to his dream.

His once smooth skin was now heavily wrinkled, his once lively eyes were now clouded with the light of death, and his once straight back was now hunched over. Unlike someone else’s, his time had kept moving forward, so perhaps it was only natural.

He had braved the years alone, gradually becoming old and eventually becoming the person he was now.

The dream was so vivid that he couldn’t distinguish reality. Even though all of his memories were stuck in the past, it was impossible for him to remain in the past. He looked at the letter with a bitter feeling.

To be so shaken by a letter. It was truly peculiar.