Chapter 22

“I like girls,” this is what Tang Feiwan wanted to tell her parents openly and honestly, years ago when she was still with Lin Ye. But she was young back then, had no financial resources, and needed her parents’ support. She didn’t have the confidence. So, during her years in Heidelberg, she worked harder than most people, studying theories, entering labs, publishing articles in high-quality journals, going to hospitals, practicing basic surgical skills like cutting, suturing, hemostasis, and knotting, training in various surgical simulations…

Her mentor said that he had rarely seen such a hard-working student. The capital for coming out was constantly accumulating. In June of this year, she resigned from her mentor, planning to return to China in July. From that day on, she officially began planning how to confess to her parents.

For example, moving out. Even if she hadn’t accidentally heard Professor Zheng’s news about renting out their old apartment, Tang Feiwan would have looked for a single room near the hospital. And then, her coming out partner. She had always planned to tell her mother first. Compared to her father, Tang Anhua, her mother, Jiang Junli, although busy with work, didn’t spend much time with her. But from childhood to adulthood, whenever there was something important that needed to be decided, Tang Feiwan’s first thought was her mother.

Now, she finally said those words solemnly, as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

Tang Feiwan watched as the smile on Jiang Junli’s lips froze, replaced by a serious expression she hadn’t seen in a long time. Both of them were silent. After a long time, Jiang Junli’s muffled voice suddenly sounded: “Are you saying what I think you are? You like girls, so you won’t accept any boys, even if you find a partner in the future, it will be a girl of the same gender as you?”

“Yes.” Tang Feiwan admitted.

Jiang Junli was incredulous. Her two eyebrows squeezed together, her breathing quickened, and she tried to find a reason: “Why? Did you go bad in Germany?”

“Mom, do you think it’s abnormal for people of the same sex to love each other? You should know that homosexuality has been de-pathologized. On June 18th this year, the World Health Organization published the ‘ICD-11’, which completely removed ‘homosexuality’ from the classification of mental and behavioral disorders.” Both mother and daughter were doctors, so Tang Feiwan first talked to her from a medical perspective.

Jiang Junli sighed: “I didn’t say it was abnormal, but it’s also related to the living and educational environment, right? You’ve been in Germany for eight years, and the LGBTQ community is relatively concentrated there.” The woman propped her head on her left hand, shook her head, and regretted, “I shouldn’t have let you study abroad.”

Tang Feiwan was stunned. She seemed to have overestimated Jiang Junli’s acceptance ability. It had reached the point where she regretted sending her daughter abroad. But after thinking about it carefully, with such a social environment, who could accept their child liking the same sex in just a few words? Besides, she was prepared to fight a long battle. Tang Feiwan understood, sniffed, looked at her mother’s slightly red eyes, and said softly: “Mom, I already liked girls when I was in China.” She awakened in high school, but she didn’t date because she was busy with her studies. When she was in college, she joined a club and met her old alumni through the club’s end-of-semester gathering. Lin Ye was one of them.

“Your dad and I have a harmonious relationship, and the families of our friends and relatives are also happy and fulfilling. I thought you were just picky and had high standards, how could you not like boys?” Jiang Junli’s eyes widened suddenly, still unable to believe it.

Older people always think that sexual orientation is influenced by the environment, and they always think that a bad or broken family relationship will make children choose another path. Tang Feiwan continued: “Mom, I started reading comics in my first year of high school, and I knew my sexual orientation in my second year of high school, and I accepted it calmly. I was attracted to different kinds of girls in comics, they are strong, brave, gentle, humorous, kind…”

“Those comics, novels, they all beautify the characters’ images and personalities. You look at them through rose-colored glasses, of course you’ll be attracted.” When Jiang Junli said this, even she couldn’t convince herself, because she also knew that art comes from life.

Tang Feiwan frowned: “Mom, what if I say that anime creations often beautify male characters more?”

“You…” Jiang Junli was speechless. She worked in a hospital and came into contact with all kinds of people, so she naturally understood the meaning behind Tang Feiwan’s words. She couldn’t refute it in her heart, but she still argued, “You should have a comprehensive view of people and things, there are also many excellent boys.”

“I know. I’m not denying that there are some excellent people among them.” Tang Feiwan emphasized, “But I like girls better, and I’m more willing to get to know them.”

Her daughter’s attitude was firm, her speech was clear and logical. Knowing her daughter as well as she did, Jiang Junli knew that she didn’t have a specific target and wouldn’t act so impulsively without one. Jiang Junli suddenly realized and asked: “Tang Feiwan, do you have a girl you like?”

“I…” Tang Feiwan actually didn’t plan to tell Jiang Junli that she had someone she liked. She just wanted her mother to know her sexual orientation. She didn’t want to cause any trouble for Lin Ye when her parents hadn’t accepted it yet.

Besides, she didn’t know if she could win her wife back, maybe she would be single for life.

Tang Feiwan wasn’t good at lying. Jiang Junli observed her expression and instantly knew that she did have someone she liked. Jiang Junli frowned. Although she wasn’t as shocked, astonished, or even angry as when she first heard the news, she still didn’t want her daughter to take a path that was so controversial. She took a deep breath, sighed repeatedly, looked at the side of her daughter’s face, which was turned away because of her nervousness, and calmed herself down before saying: “You were so confident just now, why are you stammering now?” She was still the same as when she was a child, she would want to hide in her rabbit hole when someone caught her tail, although in the end she would always quietly use the results to prove herself.

Jiang Junli pressed further: “Who is this girl? Does she also like the same sex?”

Tang Feiwan’s voice was very low: “Mom, can we not talk about it? Or tell you when I win her over.”

“You’re the one taking the initiative?” Jiang Junli was incredulous. She knew her daughter’s personality best. From childhood to adulthood, she rarely took the initiative to socialize with others.

“Why not?” Although Lin Ye was the one who took the initiative at the beginning, she hurt the person who took the initiative back then. Now she had to be more proactive, only then would she have a chance to get close to her, only then would she have a chance to rekindle their love.

“You don’t have to say who it is, but I want to know if her sexual orientation is also the same sex?” Jiang Junli was experienced and understood that she couldn’t stop Tang Feiwan at this point. The more she pressured her, the more likely she would rebel. But she didn’t want Tang Feiwan to break up someone else’s family, nor did she want her to get hurt.

Tang Feiwan affirmed: “She likes girls.” In the first winter she went to Heidelberg, Lin Ye told her that she had come out two years ago. Her mother now fully accepted that she liked girls and was looking forward to meeting the person her daughter liked.

Coming out, acceptance… Tang Feiwan realized belatedly, why did she think Lin Ye had married a man and started a family a while back? Why was she so distrustful of her? Damn it, no wonder Lin Ye gave her a cold shoulder that day.

She deserved it.

“Age, work, family?” Jiang Junli wanted to know what kind of person could make her daughter so infatuated.

Tang Feiwan noticed that Jiang Junli’s tone was slightly softer than before, and the tense atmosphere between them was easing. She turned her head slightly, pursed her lips, and said: “Age is confidential.” She couldn’t make the person she liked too concrete, otherwise, with her mother’s intelligence and social circle, she would know who it was in a few days. So she used a roundabout tactic and only said, “She has a proper job, she’s better than me, she’s kind, her father seems to have passed away, and her mother runs a small business in her hometown.”

She didn’t reveal anything, she had gotten smarter after being abroad for a few years. Jiang Junli thought she had only met her recently and poured cold water on her: “How long have you known her? You don’t know someone’s heart even if you know their face.”

“12 years.” In the second semester of her freshman year, at the end-of-semester gathering for the club, Lin Ye, who was invited by the president, stood tall on the stage, giving a speech. Her modulated tone, her gentle and melodious voice, Tang Feiwan below the stage was deeply impressed. This was the first impression Lin Ye left on her, although they didn’t have each other’s contact information until the second semester of their sophomore year.

Jiang Junli was surprised again, so it was a long-term plan?

Seeing her mother stunned, Tang Feiwan pressed her advantage: “Mom, I like her, I only have eyes for her, I won’t waste my time on anyone else.”

Jiang Junli thought to herself that she would give it some time after returning to China. If the other party didn’t respond, she would probably give up. After all, in matters of love, if there is no response for a long time, no one can persist. So she inadvertently hit her daughter’s sore spot: “What if, I’m just saying what if, no matter how hard you try, she won’t like you?”

“Then I’ll be alone forever.” Tang Feiwan said this in anger, but it was also her current thought.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, Tang Feiwan, you’re going to make me mad.” Jiang Junli patted her chest and said, “I’m so angry that my chest hurts. I’ll have to ask you to treat my heart problems someday.” She was telling the truth. Since hearing this news, her chest had been feeling tight and she couldn’t catch her breath. If she hadn’t had a physical exam ten days ago, she would have suspected that something was wrong with her heart.

Tang Feiwan didn’t respond, letting the pace slow down at the right time.

“If things don’t work out between you two, then find someone else seriously, preferably a boy.” Jiang Junli got off the high stool, stood up, and propped her right hand on the computer desk. The conversation had been going on for almost an hour, and she had sighed countless times. She said in a deep voice, “I don’t oppose your matter, but I don’t approve of it either. But you should think about how to tell your dad.”

Tang Feiwan looked up at her and pleaded: “Mom, can you please keep it a secret for now? We both know Dad’s temper, he definitely won’t accept it.”

“Do you think I accept it?” Jiang Junli took a deep breath. “I have no choice, you’ve grown up and can make your own decisions, you don’t need to listen to our opinions anymore.” After she finished speaking, she turned and walked down the steps. When they renovated the house 13 years ago, they specifically enclosed the balcony of the second bedroom, raised it a few centimeters, and made it Tang Feiwan’s study, so there was a 5-centimeter step.

Tang Feiwan stared intently at Jiang Junli’s back as it disappeared from the room. When the door closed, she could no longer hold back her tears and they fell down one after another.

This was the first time she had gone against her parents’ wishes in her whole life. If someone asked her now if she regretted it, would she?

No regrets, no matter how many times she did it again, it would be the same choice.

At 4 pm, after getting the cake, she placed it on the dining table in the restaurant, went back to the bedroom to find her keys and prepared to leave. Suddenly, Tang Anhua opened the door and the father and daughter looked at each other.

“Leaving?” Tang Anhua’s voice was unreadable.

Tang Feiwan’s heart pounded: “Yes, I’m going to go back and pack up then head to work.”

“It’s only 4:13, let’s chat for 15 minutes.”