BDB Chapter 67

He wished only for death. Yet, there were many people in this world who needed him to live.

Li Jueyan had once watched numerous soap operas with Old Madam Ma. In those TV shows, doctors often told the patients’ families that the pain suffered by the patient’s body was not as severe as the mental anguish they themselves experienced. Only by addressing the patient’s mental anguish could they possibly recover.

Otherwise, without hope or attachment to the world, how could he have any motivation to come back to life?

It was only when pain finally befell him that he realized everything had been a lie.

He didn’t want to live, but the executives of the Li Group and the countless employees who depended on Li Jueyan for their livelihood wouldn’t necessarily let him have his way.

He was revived, and the day he woke up was the brightest part of the afternoon sun.

People fussed around him, wrapping his wrist in layers of gauze, and covering his face with an oxygen mask that left only his eyes visible, as if he were truly on the brink of death, and the next moment the machines by his bedside would start beeping with death warnings.

When he first woke up, he was still somewhat dazed. Once he recalled what had happened that night, he took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and removed the heavy oxygen mask from his face.

The caregiver attending to him, a woman who appeared to be in her fifties, saw this and quickly spoke up, “You’re awake! Young man, no, I should say, sir, you can’t take that off without the doctor’s consent, do you understand? If something happens to you and you die like this, how will I explain it to the boss? And even if not for me, you should consider yourself. You’re so handsome and wealthy, it’s such a waste to die! Your friends and family would be heartbroken! Hey, hey, hey—sir, did you hear what I said?”

Although Li Jueyan had just woken up, his vision and hearing had already returned to normal.

He glanced sideways at the woman and asked, “Do you have a phone?”

People in VIP hospital wards generally had plenty of money, and the caregiver wasn’t afraid he would steal her phone.

Without hesitation, she handed over her flip phone.

Li Jueyan took it, dialed a number, and said to the person on the other end, “Transfer 200,000 yuan to my caregiver immediately.”

The caregiver looked at him as if he were insane, “You just say transfer and expect it to happen? Do you think money grows on trees? 200,000 yuan? I’ve never seen that much money in my life! And you, such a dignified person, why are you being so extravagant and trying to deceive us honest people?”

Before she could finish speaking, the back of her newly gifted music flip phone began to flash with colorful running lights. A voice announcement followed, “Hello, your Agricultural Bank account received 200,000 yuan in 20**…”

Her eyes widened in shock, and she heard the man say, “If you want to verify it, you can go downstairs to any bank and check. If you don’t want to verify, and still want to stay in the same room with me, then please be quiet and don’t interfere with what I’m doing.”

The caregiver was stunned for a moment, then quickly waved her hand and said, “That won’t do. I don’t want the money. What if you suddenly change your mind and harm yourself while I’m downstairs checking the account? Even if I stay here, if you don’t let me help you and end up harming yourself again in front of me… how would I deal with that kind of psychological trauma? And don’t you think I might not even be able to leave this room if something happens to you? So, sir, don’t think you can just deceive me because I’m honest.”

Li Jueyan was silent for a while, then said, “I won’t cut my wrists or commit suicide. If you don’t trust me, you can stay. But you need to turn around and not keep looking at me.”

“Do you promise?” the caregiver asked, still not reassured.

Li Jueyan nodded.

At this point, knowing that returning the money would be painful and having received a promise, the caregiver stopped worrying and turned her back to the man in the hospital gown.

It was late July, and early August was approaching. The midday sun was hotter than at any other time of the year.

Li Jueyan looked up at the window. The glaring sunlight made his eyes sting, and perhaps because of the eyes, his heart also became achingly bitter.

He looked down at the phone again, his fingers dialing the familiar number slowly and repeatedly.

As expected, no one answered on the other end of the line.

He pursed his lips and dialed again, refusing to be discouraged.

The result was the same, with the same female voice on the line, “Hello, the number you have dialed is turned off. Please try again later or…”

“Hello, the number you have dialed…”

“Hello, the number you have dialed…”

The monotonous female voice repeated endlessly, and he didn’t hang up quickly. He listened to the entire voicemail.

“Hello, the number you have dialed is turned off. Please try again later or leave a message after the beep, and we will forward it to the voicemail.”

His heart felt as though it were soaked in lemon juice, the bitterness reaching its peak.

Finally, as the ‘beep’ sound echoed, he let out the suppressed emotions, “Raorao.”

Although his voice was trying to sound calm, the caregiver, standing so close, naturally heard the tremor in his voice.

The caregiver initially thought she might have heard wrong. After all, she had undergone training before taking this job, and was selected from a competitive batch to get such a high-paying position.

The training had only been a few days ago, so she clearly remembered that it included not just how to care for this man’s likes and dislikes, but also his social status and personal achievements.

She couldn’t understand what kind of exceptional girl this high-status man had encountered to be hurt so deeply.

The caregiver couldn’t help but turn around. In her line of sight, the man was hunched over, holding the phone she had given him. After he called out that name, she saw him suddenly cover his mouth with one hand, and the tremors in his back became more pronounced.

He was crying, stifling his tears, but genuinely sad and heartbroken.

And he was afraid that the person on the other end would know.

After an unknown amount of time, he finally mustered the courage to speak again, “You need to take care of yourself outside. You… you need to be happy, okay? I won’t force you to stay by my side anymore. You’re so smart and cautious, and without me, you will definitely do well.” Though he said only a few words, he spoke haltingly, not at all like his usual decisive manner. “Also, what I said that night was a lie. I won’t die, and I’ll be fine. You don’t have to worry about me.”

He ended with, “I’m sorry.”

Sorry that I made another mistake.

Sorry that I couldn’t hide the truth from you after all.

Sorry that I hurt you again.

He finally ended the call. Li Jueyan clasped his hands together unconsciously, as if he had forgotten the phone still lying flat in his palms.

The caregiver called him a few times, and when she took the phone back, the casing was already cracked. She didn’t know whether to feel sorry for her phone or for the fragile man before her.

Fortunately, there were so many people concerned about the man’s condition that news of his recovery spread like wildfire within less than an hour.

When the Old Madam who had hired her arrived at the ward, the caregiver finally found time to check the unexpected amount of money in her bank account and arrange for repairs to the phone that her children had thoughtfully given her.

The large ward, spacious at a hundred square meters, was now crowded with directors from various Li Group subsidiaries, making the space feel congested.

Though no one dared to chew betel nuts or smoke in the ward, the voices of socializing and conversation made the ward extremely noisy.

After arriving at the ward, Old Madam Ma drove everyone out. Those who were closer to the door were even hit a few times with her cane.

However, it was easy to drive out the outsiders, but looking at the man lying in bed as if he had lost his soul, she couldn’t bring herself to be harsh.

The secretary, Xiao Zhang, had already reported the entire situation and its outcome to her truthfully, but she fumbled with her lips for a long time, not knowing how to start or whether she should talk to him about the girl.

After a while, she slowly said, “A’Yan, Grandma is here to see you.”

He remained silent.

Old Madam Ma walked to his bedside and said, “Stop thinking about it. Let it go.”

Although neither of them named names, they both understood what the other was referring to.

He finally reacted, but only clenched his fists and looked back at her. “I can’t let go.”

In this life, and the previous one.

Countless days and nights, countless moments.

Unable to let go, unable to forget, unable to obtain, yet still desiring.

It tormented him to madness.

Thinking of this, his eyes became moist once again.

In the August sky, the sunlight did not drive away the moisture in his eyes.

With no one else in the room, he stopped suppressing himself and cried out loudly.

The man’s suppressed sobbing reached Old Madam Ma’s ears.

Seeing her beloved grandson, who had been her treasure for over twenty years, show such vulnerability for the first time, she couldn’t help but sigh.

Yet, all the comforting words she wanted to say eventually coalesced into one sentence, “A’Yan, Li Group still needs you. You can’t be so irresponsible.”

He was stunned for a few seconds at her words, and the moisture under his eyes gathered more and more. His cries deepened and eventually filled the room with his hoarse voice.

After sobbing for a long time, he finally replied, “Grandma, I understand.”

“I…” His voice was a bit hoarse. “I’ll try to get over it quickly. I’ll let her go. Don’t worry.”

Old Madam Ma knew her grandson was a man of his word, but she hadn’t expected that when he said he would let the girl go, he would truly change from his previous state of despair and obsession. Even though his body hadn’t fully recovered, he started dealing with the piled-up documents on his hospital bed.

During his illness, several ambitious troublemakers had emerged in the group. After he returned to work, these people were either dismissed or reassigned to important positions in various subsidiaries within a few days.

It was clear to anyone that the prospects of those companies were predictable.

After all, his methods were known for leaving no mercy for betrayers.

Once he had recovered, Li Group began to expand its reach even further. It wasn’t long before Li’s advertisements on billboards and LED screens in city squares increased by at least a third compared to before.

Old Madam Ma had originally thought that he didn’t care about anything anymore. However, within less than a month, Butler Gu secretly informed her, “Old Madam, Young Master Li’s clothes that have been sent home recently all have a strong smell of alcohol. I asked Xiao Zhang, but he wouldn’t tell me about Young Master Li’s recent whereabouts. However, people from the company told me that Young Master Li’s attendance has been extremely irregular lately. Sometimes he doesn’t come in for a whole day, and other times he doesn’t arrive at the office until three or four in the afternoon. I think this is quite unusual.” After a pause, Butler Gu continued, “I shouldn’t be the one to say this, but I’ve watched him grow up. Now, you’re his only remaining relative. I hope you can pay more attention to him.”

As Butler Gu said, he was left with only her as a relative, and she was the same.

Taking Butler Gu’s serious words to heart, Old Madam Ma immediately hired a private investigator to track his recent activities. She discovered that, since his discharge, he had been frequenting bars and nightclubs every night!

A lifelong upright woman like Old Madam Ma could not accept this fact.

She went to the bar with anger, but when she entered, amidst the deafening DJ music and the chaotic dancing crowd, she saw her grandson sitting alone in a booth, drinking alcohol as if it were tea, continuously pouring it into his throat.

The scene seemed familiar to Old Madam Ma. When she received the news of her reckless son and daughter-in-law’s deaths, this child had also withdrawn into himself, spending all his time in such places, numbing himself with alcohol.

It wasn’t until later, after suffering from alcohol poisoning, that he finally regained his senses under the relentless beatings of her Old Man’s stick.

Therefore, it wasn’t that he was naturally incapable of drinking; rather, it was the alcohol poisoning that heightened his body’s sensitivity to alcohol, which led him to avoid drinking altogether.

But now that the Old Man was gone and he was once again harming himself for similar reasons, what could she do?

In this world, among all emotions, love was the most tormenting and the one most difficult for others to interfere with.

Old Madam Ma left the bar, trembling.

Little did she know, as soon as she left, Xiao Zhang appeared behind the man, “President Li, Old Madam Ma has safely left in her car.”

Li Jueyan put down his wine glass and said, “Keep an eye on her. If the Old Madam is looking to chat with Jiang Rao, don’t interfere. If she intends to harm her, remember to stop her.”

Raorao, let me scheme against you one last time.

If you still choose to leave this time.

Then…

I really will let you go.

——