Chapter 12

After the weekend, He Yang went to school with two big dark circles under her eyes.

“What did you do last night?” Li Kexin was very surprised.

He Yang reached out her hand: “Let me see your homework.”

Li Kexin casually handed it to her, but was even more surprised when she saw He Yang frantically scribbling on the blank test paper instead of checking the answers: “You… you didn’t do your homework? My goodness, you’re not really delirious with fever, are you? Your grades have already fallen so much, what on earth did you do over the weekend?”

He Yang made up a random excuse. After dealing with the homework, she finally breathed a sigh of relief and looked out the window, hiding behind her textbook.

Tall trees reached the sky, dappled with morning light.

The scattered light reflected in her eyes as she squinted slightly. He Cheng suddenly appeared on the walkway outside the window. He was wearing a clean school uniform, his posture as straight as a poplar tree. His black hair covered his brows and eyes, but one could faintly see the smooth lines of his jaw and his tightly closed lips, curving into a gentle arc.

His pace was unhurried as he walked into the teaching building, his figure disappearing from view.

He Yang suddenly sighed wistfully.

She couldn’t bring herself to ignore He Cheng’s future fate when she knew about it. It would be one thing if they were strangers, but they not only knew each other now, they had even helped each other.

But… with just her shallow understanding of He Cheng, how could she be sure that anything she did would actually help him?

She had spent the weekend watching all the movies she could access on her phone. All the redemption stories involving time travel or rebirth followed the same pattern of healing the male lead with a tragic background.

Was He Cheng’s background tragic? Losing both parents was quite sad. But he had a capable older brother who had expanded the family business. He didn’t lack food or clothing now, and even lived in a big villa – his life couldn’t be more comfortable.

Since the tragic background angle didn’t work, she had to think from another perspective. His academic performance was excellent, teachers liked him, and classmates only kept a respectful distance. There wasn’t the situation described in some stories where classmates all avoided him, leaving him very lonely.

The only thing that could be considered tragic was probably his illness, right?

As far as He Yang knew, He Cheng’s illness was due to the shock of his parents’ death when he was ten years old. Since then, his health had deteriorated, and he only spent about two or three months a year in school.

His condition still hadn’t improved and seemed quite serious. She had seen him taking medicine several times, and he had even developed a fever in the middle of the night after getting caught in the rain before…

But when it came to poor health, He Yang had no way to help. She wasn’t a doctor and couldn’t do anything useful.

After the morning self-study session ended, He Yang wandered over to the door of Class 1.

He Cheng was tall and sat in the back row, his back straight, gripping a pen and writing something on paper. Next to him was probably his desk mate, a girl, who said something in his direction.

He Cheng seemed not to hear, his back becoming even straighter. His brows furrowed unusually, and a cold air suddenly passed over him.

He Yang’s gaze was fixed on him.

She had originally just wanted to observe secretly, but she hadn’t expected that quite a few girls would gather at the door of Class 1 during breaks. Some used the excuse of discussing studies to approach He Cheng, while others were purely there to steal glances at him.

With these people as cover, He Yang’s behavior didn’t stand out.

He Yang went several times during breaks, and even Li Kexin noticed her unusual behavior.

“What do you keep going to Class 1 for?”

“Nothing.”

“Tell me the truth, don’t lie.”

“Alright, I went… to look at He Cheng.”

Li Kexin, who had been drowsily lying on her desk, suddenly perked up like a dog catching the scent of a bone: “There’s something going on!”

He Yang selectively recounted the events of the past few days.

Li Kexin seemed to understand: “So… you’ve fallen for him?”

He Yang shook her head: “No, no.” How could that be possible? She just purely pitied him. Although she didn’t understand why he would commit suicide in the future, she felt a bit heartbroken thinking about their past interactions and what a gentle and kind boy he was.

“It’s best if you haven’t,” Li Kexin leaned close to her ear and said in a low voice: “You know me, I have no resistance to good-looking boys. I’ve always spoken well of He Cheng before, but that was just because I liked his appearance. If we’re really talking about him as a person… Yang Yang, you’d better stay away from him.”

“Why?”

“Well… I’ll tell you, but you can’t tell anyone else.”

He Yang nodded and agreed.

“I heard this from Yao Yao, and Yao Yao is close with Zhao Miao. Zhao Miao and He Cheng both transferred from City A, so naturally she knows some things we don’t. It’s… it’s about He Cheng’s illness. He seems to have an inherited mental illness in his family. Several people in Class 1 have seen him taking medicine. I heard that the reason he transferred to Yangkui to study was because he hurt someone during an episode at school, that’s why he transferred…”

“On TV, people with mental illnesses are all irrational, shouting and screaming is the mild case, some even bite people like wild animals…”

He Yang interrupted her: “These are all rumors.”

Li Kexin: “They are rumors, true, but there’s no smoke without fire. City A is a big city, with teaching resources several times better than Yangkui. If it wasn’t because he couldn’t stay in City A, why would he come to Yangkui?”

He Yang, having experienced a few more years than Li Kexin, instinctively thought of people going crazy for no reason when she first heard the term “mental illness”. There were mental health courses in university, and although He Yang wasn’t an expert, she understood a thing or two.

“Even if he has an inherited mental illness in his family, it’s the same as having a cold or fever – he’s just sick. If you’re sick, of course you need to take medicine. It’s not very nice for us to talk about him behind his back like this, is it?”

Li Kexin thought for a moment: “You’re right, it’s not very nice. But I’m not the one who spread this, and I didn’t exaggerate. I just told you exactly what Yao Yao told me…”

He Yang didn’t continue the conversation. She remembered He Cheng’s pale cheeks and the smile that always lingered in his eyes. That faint smile was softer than the spring breeze and more dazzling than the bright moon. She recalled the words He Cheng had said in her dream –

“I want…”

What did he want?

He Yang felt an inexplicable pang in her heart.

……

The paper in front of him was densely covered with He Yang’s name. Yangkui wasn’t strict about school uniforms, and many students wore casual clothes to look good, but He Cheng had always worn his school uniform properly from his first to third year of high school.

The blue and white striped school uniform, with the zipper pulled all the way up, covered the boy’s well-defined jaw. The long sleeves reached his wrists, and his slender fingers with distinct knuckles gripped a black ballpoint pen, carefully writing on the paper in front of him stroke by stroke.

Whether viewed from behind or from the side, from any angle, the boy’s eyes were focused and clean. Occasionally he would furrow his brows, as if solving a difficult problem.

His desk mate spoke to him: “He Cheng, could you please tell me how to solve this problem?”

He Cheng gripped his pen tightly. His desk mate was a girl, her voice low and soft with feminine qualities. He used to be generous with his explanations, but now, under that burning gaze, things were different. He no longer needed to build a reputation for being helpful, hoping for that person to come.

He Cheng moved his body away from his desk mate: “Sorry, I don’t know how to do it.”

This obviously perfunctory answer made his desk mate’s face awkward.

He Cheng didn’t care what others thought. Right now, he was so tense he didn’t know what to do. His palms were slightly damp with sweat, making the pen slip in his grip. The characters “He Yang” he wrote were no longer neat and beautiful.

He frowned slightly in displeasure. Thinking of the girl at the back door looking this way, his gloomy mood suddenly improved.

What was she doing here?

Was she here to see him?

His heart leapt with excitement. He stopped writing He Yang’s name – in his current state, writing her name crookedly wasn’t good, it would be an insult to He Yang. The pen tip hovered over the paper as his eyes showed patient waiting.

His back was also damp with sweat.

He straightened his spine, maintaining his side profile unchanged. The forced smile at the corners of his mouth became increasingly stiff. He heard He Yang’s footsteps leaving, and the gentle smile he had worked hard to maintain suddenly collapsed.

…Why did she suddenly leave?

A shadow of gloom flashed in He Cheng’s eyes.

For several days in a row, He Yang would come during breaks.

He didn’t understand what she was trying to do, but he often felt excited by her secret glances, and then frustrated by her hesitation to approach.

Finally, one day, He Yang didn’t come during the break. He Cheng waited for a while, and when he was sure she wouldn’t come, he left his desk and went to the office.

The homeroom teacher of Class 1 was surprised by He Cheng’s request: “…What? You want to change seats?”

He Cheng: “Yes, I want to sit alone in the back row. Near the door.”

The teacher rejected the idea without even thinking: “How can that work? That area near the back door is where trash is piled up, and the noise from the corridor is very clear. It’s not conducive to your studies.” The teacher always favored students with good grades: “Why do you suddenly want to change seats? Is it that you don’t get along with your current desk mate? How about moving you to the front row? Zhao is second in the class, you two could sit together and learn from each other, what do you think?”

He Cheng still shook his head: “I don’t need a desk mate.”

The teacher was stumped, not quite understanding: “…Why?”

He Cheng laughed coldly inside. Before, when he and He Yang hadn’t confirmed their relationship, he had positioned himself as a silent guardian. But now, who knew when he might start dating He Yang? How could he allow someone else to sit next to him?

He couldn’t possibly tell the teacher about such a private matter.

“It’s my own problem. Having someone next to me disturbs my thoughts. I need to sit alone.”

The teacher tried to persuade him a few more times, but He Cheng was determined. In the end, the teacher had to agree to let He Cheng sit alone in the position near the back door.

He Cheng felt he had resolved a major issue.

Sitting by the back door, he could see people in the corridor with just a slight turn of his head. However, he didn’t see He Yang for several breaks.

He thought for a moment, then went to Class 4.