Chapter 105

Nianxi knelt on the prayer mat, devoutly praying to Buddha. She prayed for Gu Ci, who was far away, wishing him safety and health.

Many times, Nianxi found her own calmness frightening. Perhaps being with someone for a long time could even make personalities grow similar.

In the past, Nianxi used to close her eyes and devote herself wholly to one person. But now, even in love, she would weigh gains and losses. After Gu Ci left, she became even less willing to let those around her worry about her.

It was a sorrowful and regrettable matter, but life goes on, and emotions would inevitably settle into tranquility in time. Experience had taught her to face things calmly. The only constant in life is change itself.

Sunny days or rainy days were all part of the plan. Accepting it with openness or dwelling in self-pity were both choices.

Nianxi understood this better than anyone.

But Gu Ci—he was a living, breathing person, carrying the weight of her deep and lingering emotions. Such feelings couldn’t be abandoned at will. So Nianxi buried these emotions deep in her heart, praying only to the myriad gods and Buddhas to protect him and keep him safe.

As Nianxi knelt on the prayer mat, wholly engrossed in her prayers, she was unaware that someone else had been watching her the entire time—however long she knelt, he stood watching for just as long.

Zhou Yanli had always known that his Sister Nianxi was wholehearted and unwavering when she cared about someone or liked them. Other people’s feelings never mattered to her.

And that was fine.

The other man was already gone. He had missed a moment but not a lifetime.

Nianxi rose from the mat. After knelt for so long, her knees felt weak, and she experienced a brief dizziness. Zhou Yanli reached out to support her but, after some thought, withdrew his hand. He walked up to her and stood still. As long as she was willing, she could touch him with just a lift of her hand. As long as she was willing, he could always be her support.

Nianxi recovered quickly from that initial moment and was back to normal. Smiling, she said to him, “Have you been waiting long? The plum blossoms on the back mountain are blooming beautifully—you could have gone to enjoy them first.”

Zhou Yanli was in no hurry to leave. Once she was fully recovered, they walked together out of the hall. “What’s the fun in being alone? It’s always better when Elder sister is with me.”

Then, he pretended to ask casually, “Elder Sister, were you just praying for a suitable husband for yourself? Why did it take so long? If I had known, I would have asked you to pray for me as well.”

The carriage traveled along, and Nianxi gradually grew more familiar with him. Zhou Yanli was still the obedient and thoughtful younger brother who could act playful, no longer the carefree young noble minister from her memories.

“It wasn’t for a match. It was for… a good friend. He has gone far away, and I prayed to Buddha to keep him safe.”

“I wouldn’t want to be too far from Elder Sister.” Zhou Yanli turned his head, leaning slightly closer. His clear, soft gaze was like that boy behind the rock garden years ago—gentler and purer, always capable of melting one’s heart. “When I take the imperial examination, please pray for me as well.”

Nian Xi smiled and agreed.

Zhou Yanli smiled happily, the small tear-shaped mole at the corner of his eye becoming even more dazzling. He said, “I can’t bear for elder sister to kneel for so long on my behalf. It’s already wonderful as long as I am in her heart and she is willing to pray for me.”

…

The two of them admired the red plum blossoms at the back mountain for a while, but the weather was too cold. Nianxi’s hands and feet were freezing, and even the tip of her nose had turned red.

Zhou Yanli wouldn’t let them stay any longer. They returned to the carriage after a vegetarian meal and bought candied snowball treats.

For some reason, Nianxi seemed especially sensitive to the cold this year. Despite being wrapped in layers of thick clothing, her lips were still pale from the chill.

Zhou Yanli changed the charcoal in the hand warmer for her, urging her to hold it close, and handed her a cup of hot tea. His face was full of guilt and unease. “It’s all my fault. I insisted on going out to play, causing Elder Sister to suffer with me.”

The warmth inside the carriage soon helped, and Nianxi felt much better. “It’s not your fault. I’m just unusually sensitive to the cold this year.”

Zhou Yanli seized the opportunity and said, “In the future, when going out with Elder Sister, we should choose warmer places. I hear that the popular entertainment these days is watching performances. I’ve never seen such performances in the capital. Elder Sister, will you go with me?”

Nianxi wasn’t very interested. But before she could voice her refusal, she heard him speak softly, “I don’t have any friends in the capital… Am I bothering Elder Sister by being like this?”

In Jinling, after Zhou Yanli’s mother passed away early, some mean-spirited children would often bully him, mocking him for being uneducated and motherless. NianXi would always play with him, ensuring he wasn’t left alone.

Hearing him speak this way, she thought of the past and smiled. “I’ve never watched variety performances either. On the next Brother’s rest day, let’s go together.”

Zhou Yanli was stunned momentarily but quickly recovered and smiled in agreement.

The carriage moved slowly, and Nianxi, warmed by the heat inside, grew drowsy. Half-asleep, half-awake, the carriage suddenly stopped. A familiar, calm voice called out: “Nianxi.”

Lifting the curtain, she saw Pei Jian standing before the carriage. His composed and restrained face showed a slight smile, and his expression was gentle and even cautious. “I heard from Jinghe that you went to Xiangguo Temple today. I had business in the eastern part of the city. What a coincidence.”

Pei Jian had spent half the afternoon watching the carriages pass by.

That morning, upon hearing Qin Lang’s message that Nianxi had gone to Xiangguo Temple with some neighbor’s younger brother, he had been tied up with work and unable to leave. Helplessly, he had to finish his urgent tasks before rushing over.

Even after being reborn, he still had ambition and desire for his official career. Having once stood atop the peak and surveyed the world below, his longing to return to the summit remained, even if his hunger for power was no longer as strong as before.

Not for any other reason, but among Nianxi’s many admirers, he had nothing to boast about. Even though Nianxi didn’t value power, in the eyes of the world, it at least symbolized success.

A successful man was deemed qualified to attain happiness.

To this day, although he already understood why Nianxi rejected him in their past lives, it didn’t mean he would give up his pursuit of power. This was the foundation for the happiness he wished to provide her and a means to protect her.

Compared to his previous life, Pei Jian felt a heightened sense of urgency. He yearned to climb the career ladder as quickly as possible, giving himself more time to avoid and amend the mistakes of his past life. But Qin Lang’s news hit him like a bolt from the blue.

Now, Pei Jian dared not harbor the slightest complacency.

Nianxi’s fondness for Gu Ci was mainly due to his negligence. At that time, he had managed to console himself with the possibility that Gu Ci might leave for the northern frontier, which would mean no outcome between them.

But Zhou Yanli was different. That man had lived in the capital in their previous lives and might very well have secretly coveted his wife all along—not to mention that Zhou Yanli was still alive when Pei Jian died!

If Nianxi were to fall for Zhou Yanli, he honestly wouldn’t know what to do. Where could he even go to divine Zhou Yanli’s fate and calculate the day of his death?

At that moment, Pei Jian’s usual composure and steadiness as a middle-aged man were entirely cast aside. He even ignored his dignity, standing foolishly at the city gate, staring at the passing carriages, desperately trying to spot the one carrying his Nianxi.

And then, under Nianxi’s knowing gaze, he calmly uttered, “What a coincidence.”

Pei Jian stared at Nianxi’s face. Her hibiscus-like face was flushed. She must have dozed off as she lifted the curtain, her eyes still sleepy. She always had this ability—whenever the carriage swayed, she would become drowsy, the same in her past and present life.

“It’s fine,” Pei Jian said, his gaze fixed on Nianxi. Not a single bit of his attention was given to the chilling, piercing gaze directed at him from behind Nianxi.

“I just saw you and came to say hello.”

In front of Nianxi, he no longer cared about saving face and simply played the fool to the end. No one would ever expose the fact that Nianxi sat inside the carriage and that he somehow managed to see through the thick curtains to recognize her inside.

“It’s about to snow. It’s cold. Are you heading back?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm, I’m also waiting for a carriage to take me back,” Pei Jian said, finally feeling embarrassed as he spoke. But he had been standing out in the cold for too long, and his pale, frozen face had long since lost all feeling. He forced a smile, one he thought looked gentle: “You should leave quickly; it’s going to get dark.”

Nianxi: …

As dusk approached, the cold outside became unbearable.

Nianxi had no idea how long Pei Jian had been waiting there, but she was keenly aware that he was playing the “pity card.”

No longer arrogant or overbearing, forcing her to get off the carriage, he now stood pitifully outside, pretending to be magnanimous by urging her to leave. Yet his eyes were filled with something impossible to ignore—desire.

“…How about giving you a ride?”

“Yes!”