——Pfft!

Xu Yitong suddenly spat a mouthful of water onto her monitor.

Her breath hitched for two seconds as a sour taste instantly filled her nose and mouth.

She coughed violently, panicking as she covered her mouth and fumbled for tissues, knocking over her water cup in the process.

Amidst the chaotic noise, Yiyi asked with concern, “What’s going on over there, Tongtong?”

Water was splashed all over the desk.

Xu Yitong stood up, hastily grabbed a few tissues to blot the mess, and righted the cup, mumbling an explanation, “I—I’m fine, just choked accidentally.”

A few minutes later, things finally quieted down.

Seeing this cat still wandering aimlessly through his minion wave, Yu Ge paused for a moment.

03:55 Ruo Yiyi (Lulu): Yuumi – Alive

03:57 Ruo Yiyi (Lulu): Yuumi – Alive

In League of Legends, when a teammate pings you as “alive” in the chat, it can be interpreted as them—

Expressing doubt / Giving praise / Showing concern (warning) / Indicating their patience is running thin /

When the pings reach the limit, it also means they’ve fully prepared for a hearty round of colorful language.

After hastily wiping everything down, Xu Yitong sat back in front of her computer.

Yiyi hurriedly reminded her, “Stop spacing out, get on the AD.”

Xu Yitong responded with an affected “Oh,” her face flushed as she pressed the W key.

At the same time, in the game, the little cat pounced onto Jinx, securely latching onto her.

The enemy bot lane had recalled, leaving Jinx quietly farming the minion wave.

She didn’t speak, and he certainly wouldn’t start a conversation either.

The two of them fell into silence.

For a moment, the only sounds in the team voice chat were the crisp clicks of mouse buttons.

Xu Yitong stared absentmindedly at the screen, at the cat holding a book, as if she herself were that cat, clinging tightly to its owner.

I’m letting you get on me.

Get on me.

Even though she knew Yu Ge definitely didn’t mean it that way, she couldn’t help but let her mind wander.

But…

But what if he was actually deliberately teasing her?!

Xu Yitong deeply regretted not responding to his remark earlier.

The moment he said it, she should’ve immediately taken the opportunity to flirt back with something like, “Just wait, I’ll hail a ride right over,” to show him what a worthy opponent she was.

She quietly picked up her phone and texted Yiyi.

– Zhenzhen: 【Do you think Yu Ge said that on purpose to be ambiguous, or was it a slip of the tongue…?】

Yiyi replied quickly: 【What?】

– Zhenzhen: 【Didn’t you hear? He told me to get on him! Does he have a thing for me or something?】

In the quiet team voice chat, Yiyi suddenly choked as well.

Xu Yitong nervously texted: “Don’t give me away!”

– Yiyi: 【You misheard. Fish said to get on his character, not get on him…】

– Zhenzhen: 【.】

– Zhenzhen: 【Never mind, I’m getting new headphones tomorrow (facepalm).】

Xu Yitong settled down, stopping her wild imagination.

When she finally refocused on the game, she suddenly realized their Jinx was down to less than half health, while the enemy Lucian and Nami duo were practically at full HP.

Feeling guilty for just idly sitting as a backpack, Xu Yitong asked over the mic, “Yu Ge, should I get off and help you?”

His response was as curt as ever: “No need.”

Giving up a large wave of minions, Jinx chose to recall under the tower.

W-was he losing?

Xu Yitong vaguely remembered watching a match where TG’s members said Yu Ge had a very aggressive playstyle, always being the offensive type on the battlefield, rarely ever suppressed.

But now, because he was stuck with a clueless player like her, he was actually forced to recall.

How could she let such an amazing ADC suffer like this?!

Xu Yitong lamented, “It’s all because I’m so bad.”

Yiyi comforted her, “Lucian-Nami is just broken in this patch. They’re practically unbeatable in lane. Jinx’s early-game damage is way lower than theirs, so losing the matchup is normal. But trust Fish! He’ll pull through.”

Returning to the lane, Xu Yitong stared intently at Jinx, ready to heal him at the slightest sign of damage.

After a few heals, her mana was drained.

The entire time, Yu Ge never said a word.

Yiyi, who had been repeatedly solo-killed top lane, switched her view to bot lane.

After watching for a while, she couldn’t help but recall the few times she’d laned with Yu Ge.

Though rare, those moments were unforgettable.

The feeling of being completely ignored by an AD as an enchanter support… was even worse than dealing with a husband who refused to shower.

As everyone knew, Fish never carried girls.

Not just carrying girls—whenever he laned with someone he wasn’t familiar with, Yu Ge was always the same.

No mic, no criticism, no shotcalling, not a single word of communication, treating the support like thin air the entire time.

He was just… really, really, really aloof…

……

Though Xu Yitong was new to the game and didn’t understand many of its unwritten rules, she wasn’t stupid.

The enemy bot lane, emboldened by their strong duo, had leveled up and started spamming “?” and “weak” emotes.

The Nami support was especially obnoxious, wagging her fish tail wildly on the spot, as if looking down on them.

Sensing the inexplicable hostility from the enemy, Xu Yitong grew annoyed and muttered to herself, “Ugh, are they taunting us or something?”

Right after she said this, the enemy Nami came forward to trade, but Lucian stayed behind to farm, leaving Nami to get kited by Jinx and lose a third of her health.

Yu Ge pinged the jungler.

“Are we fighting? Are we fighting?!” Xu Yitong exclaimed excitedly.

The jungler happened to be pathing toward bot side.

After assessing the situation, he circled through the river and hid in the shadows, waiting.

Yu Ge started clearing the wave.

Nami swept the area with her scanner to clear vision.

The moment she and her AD were separated, Yu Ge placed a row of traps at her feet, then ducked into the brush to drop minion aggro, instantly switching to rocket form to last-hit, hitting level six first.

In the blink of an eye, Nami was brought down to a sliver of health by his fluid kiting and was forced to flash away.

Lucian, trying to hit level six by last-hitting to counter, was immediately flanked by the jungler.

Lucian died under their combined fire.

Jinx lined up a rocket shot, sniping the fleeing Nami who was trying to recall, sending her back to the fountain as well.

With the double kill secured, Xu Yitong nearly jumped out of her chair.

“Wow! We won!”

Yiyi found her reaction amusing.

“With Fish here, of course we’d win.”

After being taunted by the enemy for so long, Xu Yitong felt a sense of triumphant vindication.

Eagerly, she asked, “Yu Ge, Yu Ge, how do I use emotes? I want to spam them too.”

Yiyi was about to explain when the silent man finally spoke:

“Press T.”

Roy was anxiously crouched in the bathroom, texting Yiyi: “How’s it going? Has Fish joined yet? Tell your friend not to worry, I’ll be there soon.”

A few minutes later, he got a reply from his girlfriend.

Yiyi: 【You don’t need to come anymore.】

……

Xu Yitong’s account was new, so the only emote she had was the default thumbs-up.

Returning to lane with Jinx now in the lead, the backpack cat mimicked her, spamming thumbs-up at the enemy.

Lucian missed three minions in a row under her relentless taunting.

Cats were already annoying, let alone a smug one.

Soon, a message appeared in all-chat:

[All] JianLeng (Lucian): “A disabled cat dares to emote at your grandpa?”

Ah, the classic banter phase.

Yiyi burst out laughing and immediately instructed, “Tongtong, press Shift + Enter to open the chat box.”

Xu Yitong obeyed.

Yiyi: “Reply with ‘Easy,’ then add ‘Not taking disciples.’”

They happily traded barbs with the enemy.

[All] JianRe (Nami): “Milk? Oh, it’s you. Finally found a sugar daddy so you don’t have to sell yourself for LP, huh? But why’s your daddy carrying another girl? Y’all into some kinky stuff?”

[All] Milk (Malphite): “Oh, still salty about the 20k? Didn’t you quit the game? Back to smurfing in Solo Q? Found another simp, but you’re still trash as ever.”

Reading their exchange, Xu Yitong realized, “Oh, you guys know each other?”

“Not really,” Yiyi said, reluctant to elaborate. “The ‘Ying Duan’ I’m using now—this Nami wanted to buy it, but I sniped it for 20k. We’ve run into each other a few times in-game since then.”

“Ying Duan?” Xu Yitong was confused. “Your cat?”

“No, look at my name—‘Milk.’ Super short English names like this are called ‘Ying Duan.’ You have to buy them from resellers.”

“Ohhh, that’s why she’s so toxic,” Xu Yitong said indignantly.

[All] JianLeng (Lucian): “LOL, 0-6 Malphite calling me trash? Your sugar daddy’s garbage too. I was bullying him in lane like a grandpa disciplining his grandson. If your jungler hadn’t come, you think he stood a chance?”

Xu Yitong’s blood pressure spiked reading this.

[All] Zhenzhen Is Pulling a Giant Radish (Yuumi): “Someone said you’re like a monkey, but I think you’re more of a pig—how else could you be this shameless?”

[All] JianLeng (Lucian): “And who the hell are you? What does bot lane have to do with you, you disabled cat? Cloned sheep, orphaned trash.”

[All] Zhenzhen Is Pulling a Giant Radish (Yuumi): “So what? My AD can still stomp you even with a newbie cat like me. He could play with his feet and still be better than you!”

The war escalated, with both sides trading increasingly colorful insults. Even the mid laner and jungler joined in.

The heated trash talk reached its peak around the 30-minute mark.

Xu Yitong’s fingers flew across the keyboard.

With the game in their favor, her confidence grew, and her comebacks became sharper.

The enemy, unable to match her verbally or in-game, resorted to spamming macros.

While the rest of the team pushed towers, the cat and Malphite danced in circles at the enemy fountain, spamming emotes.

Xu Yitong finally understood the joy Chen Yucheng felt when fountain camping—it was even more satisfying than dancing on their graves.

The enemy AD was clearly seething, refusing to leave the post-game lobby.

For three solid minutes, he continued to rage.

JianLeng: 【You only won because of your jungler. 2v2, no jg, you dare?】

Xu Yitong wasn’t about to back down:

Zhenzhen Is Pulling a Giant Radish: 【Please, with or without the jungler, my AD would still wreck you.】

JianLeng: 【ZhanYu room 77869, 3k viewers live. If your AD can beat me with Jinx + Yuumi, I’ll call you daddy.】

Yiyi cursed. “How shameless can he be?! Even if we did 2v2, no one would pick Jinx-Yuumi into Lucian-Nami! That’s a 9-1 matchup! So gross.”

Xu Yitong wasn’t fooled: 【Oh, so you’re a streamer? Why drop your room? Want your fans to harass me? Think I’m scared? And with that attitude, even if you begged to call me daddy, I wouldn’t want a son like you.】

JianLeng: 【If you’re scared, just say so. Stop pretending.】

Xu Yitong wanted to retort, but Yiyi looked up the streamer’s room on ZhanYu.

Sure enough, he had a few thousand viewers, with a title boasting “Canyon Challenger,” apparently an AD one-trick.

Xu Yitong’s confidence wavered.

She quietly considered—Yu Ge was amazing, but she was utterly useless…

JianLeng: 【Last chance. 2v2, you in or not?】

Xu Yitong hesitated, asking Yiyi, “Should we just leave? He seems pretty confident…”

Yiyi agreed.

“Of course we don’t accept. He’s clearly being shameless. Why bother? And dropping his stream like he’s hot stuff with a few thousand fans? So full of himself.”

Xu Yitong nodded.

“Mhm, mhm.”

She was about to type her refusal when—

The man who had been silent all game finally typed in all-chat:

【Make the room.】