Chapter 129

As night fell, snow began to descend once again, large and silent flakes covering the ground.

Nianxi recalled the discussion her father and brother had earlier at the table. The court had incurred enormous military expenditures to support the ongoing battles at the front lines. For example, during the recent battle between the Zhenbei Army and the Liang forces, “140,000 horses, both official and privately owned, were deployed, yet fewer than 30,000 returned from the battlefield.”

In a single battle, 90,000 horses were lost. The cost of a single stallion alone was over 4,000 coins.

And the military expenses didn’t stop at warhorses. There were also the salaries of officers, rations for soldiers, cotton clothing and armor, weapons and equipment, construction of fortifications, and funeral and compensation costs.

Under such circumstances, the Ministry of Revenue had once again increased miscellaneous taxes. The burden of these heavy taxes, coupled with the harsh winter, had led to widespread hardship among the people, with many resorting to selling their children.

Yet behind the gates of the rich and noble, extravagance and indulgence persisted unabated.

After finishing a meal with her family, Nianxi returned to her courtyard. The snow was still falling, pattering densely against her face. In that short walk, the cold numbed her skin. She couldn’t help but think of Gu Ci, defending their homeland in the distant northern frontier, and Pei Jian, who devoted himself tirelessly to his duties.

In her previous life, she had lived narrowly, immersed in the small, self-created world of romantic fantasies, indifferent to the turmoil of the outside world.

Now, having been given a second chance at life, Nianxi understood the preciousness of existence. Beyond that, she no longer wanted to drift aimlessly, merely passing her days in quiet seclusion. She started paying attention to the court’s official bulletins, showing concern for the battles at the front lines, and even empathizing with the hardships of the common people.

Although she knew her strength was limited and that she could not achieve extraordinary feats like Gu Ci or Pei Jian, Nianxi still wanted to do something meaningful.

She was no longer the same Wen Nianxi who, upon her rebirth, was filled with a desperate desire for love and overwhelmed by confusion. Now, she possessed a stronger spiritual core and a determination to leave something behind in this world, even if it was just a little. When the time came to look back on her life, she didn’t want to be full of regrets.

Thus, the next day, she went to the Liuji Pavilion in the city’s eastern part to help distribute porridge.

Lady Chengjing, Madam Xian, a woman of great virtue and remarkable stories, established the Liuji Pavilion. In her youth, she was legendary, even leading troops into battle despite being a woman. After losing all her children and relatives to war and illness, she returned to the capital alone. She founded Liuji Pavilion—a sanctuary dedicated to aiding the poor and the sick who could not fend for themselves.

In her past life, Nianxi had heard much about Madam Xian and admired her greatly. However, she was advanced in years and rarely appeared in the capital anymore.

For several days in a row, Nianxi joined the women of Liuji Pavilion to distribute porridge in the city’s eastern part, witnessing the myriad facets of life and the people’s suffering.

The so-called porridge was actually coarse rice mixed with a bit of fine grain, boiled into a thin gruel, and then distributed. Nianxi secretly tasted it and found the coarse rice rough, with a stale, moldy taste that was difficult to swallow. Yet the poorly dressed common folk—children, women—treated it as a delicacy, full of gratitude and treasuring it like a rare feast.

Every year, the capital held fundraising events. In her previous life, Nianxi, like most noblewomen, merely donated some silver with a wave of her hand, seeking only a good reputation.

That money, which couldn’t even buy a single hairpin, could buy several large sacks of coarse rice at the grain market, enough to help a struggling family survive the winter.

When Pei Jian returned to the city, he caught a glimpse of a familiar figure by chance. At first, he thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. After days of constant busyness—especially the sleepless night he’d just endured—his exhaustion led him to believe it was merely a hallucination born of longing.

However, when he looked again, the petite figure bustling around the porridge stall was none other than Nianxi.

“Stop.” Pei Jian stepped down from his carriage.

The snow had just cleared after the storm, and the weather was bitterly cold.

Walking toward her, he saw Nianxi clad in deerskin gloves, her scarf wrapped tightly around her head and face, leaving only her clear, bright eyes visible. With practiced hands, she ladled a bowl of porridge and handed it to someone in line.

Standing beside Nianxi was a child about the height of the table, also bundled up tightly against the cold. Nianxi ladled out a bowl of porridge while the child handed out a pancake, the two working together perfectly.

Pei Jian stood to the side for quite some time, observing them quietly. Nianxi, however, didn’t notice his presence.

The case of the Lianghuai salt permits was deeply intricate and consequential. Though Zhang Hongzhe was dead and King Jing had so far escaped involvement, the collusion between the salt officials and merchants created significant challenges. During interrogations, evasion and cover-ups hindered progress, and the investigation advanced only with great difficulty.

To prevent any leaks, Pei Jian had spent several sleepless days and nights at a secret location in the suburbs, finally achieving a breakthrough in the case.

To see Nianxi here, amid the hustle of distributing porridge, was an unexpected delight for Pei Jian—a welcome surprise that stirred distant memories, bringing them into sharp focus.

In his past life, he was always busy, with official duties taking up nearly all of his time. He would often break his promise or be late for their plans together. There were so many occasions when he could see her waiting for him.

Whether it was in bustling streets or crowded shops, as long as he appeared, no matter what Nianxi was doing—eating or shopping—she would always spot him immediately.

Then, with delight, she would wave to him. Every single time, she could spot him with incredible precision.

Those were truly happy times.

Pei Jian once asked her how she could find him in the crowd so easily. Nianxi smiled, her eyes curved into crescents, and her voice was gentle. “Because between lovers, there’s always a special connection.”

But Nianxi, she wasn’t like that.

In a sea of people, being able to spot one’s lover at a glance is because of the direction of the heart, just like how, with a casual glance, he could recognize Nianxi’s figure. Just like how, even though he stood there for a long time, Nianxi didn’t lift her eyes to notice him.

Pei Jian’s heart was frozen into numbness on this cold winter day.

After distributing a large pot of porridge, Nianxi’s arms were nearly too tired to lift.

Noticing someone approaching, she didn’t lift her gaze, saying, “The porridge is gone for today. Come earlier tomorrow.”

Then, she heard a familiar, cold voice respond, “How very unfortunate.”

Nianxi looked up and saw Pei Jian standing in front of her, the corners of his lips slightly curved, his dark eyes deep and unfathomable, seemingly filled with unspoken words.

“The porridge is gone. Would you like a pancake instead?”

Pei Jian agreed.

Nianxi gestured to Lu Huai. Lu Huai, with a disgruntled expression, reluctantly picked out the smallest pancake and still made a point to emphasize, “Don’t waste it.”

Pei Jian took it and genuinely tore off a piece, placing it into his mouth.

The pancake was hard, completely devoid of warmth, and eating it felt like swallowing a lump of ice.

Even in such an environment, his eating manner remained graceful.

“Are you heading back?” he asked. He didn’t ask why Nianxi had come here to distribute porridge.

There was no need to ask. Nianxi of the past was a cheerful and naive young girl. Even if there was just a little redness on her hand, she would act spoiled, seeking comfort in his arms while crying out in pain.

Her world was small.

But now, she could tirelessly distribute porridge in the biting cold of winter, not stopping even when she was exhausted. She wore the simplest clothing, yet her eyes seemed to carry the brilliance of a sky full of stars, shining brightly.

Since her rebirth, Pei Jian has been trying to find traces of the past Nianxi in her. He had once been the most important person in her heart, the one who experienced the unique affection that no one else could give him.

He thought that as long as he could bring back the past, he could once again grasp happiness.

It wasn’t until just now, when he saw Nianxi distributing porridge, that he realized—even though she was wrapped up tightly—her gentleness still radiated from her eyes and expression. He felt her strength and perseverance. He missed the past Nianxi but also deeply loved the present Nianxi, who was actively embracing life.

He heard a voice from deep within his heart: I want her to be happy.

As long as she is happy.