When school was over and Qianye was on her way home, she asked Han Chao, “Why are you helping me? What if you fail?”

“It’s fine, my grades are usually good. Maybe the teacher will let me slide. Worst case, I’ll retake the exam. You’re too dumb, though. It’s better for me to retake it than for you to…”

The way he said “you’re too dumb” was so affectionate and intimate that it made Qianye’s heart flip. When she met his smile, it felt like she was giving away her entire youth.

She had to admit, his small kindness moved her, and it expanded endlessly, until it turned into love. From that point on, countless times she confirmed that he was truly worthy of her affection. Han Chao was just too perfect.

Throughout high school, she spent her time following in his footsteps. During evening self-study sessions, the fluorescent lights in the classroom flickered, and every problem in front of her seemed like an obstacle leading her closer to him. With every question she solved, she felt like she was getting closer to him.

“Qianye, let’s go have some snacks after class,” Zhou Ran said with a sweet smile. She usually resisted any invitation, even though she liked Zhou Ran, because she hated the awkwardness of two people sitting together with nothing to say. But when she saw Zhou Ran’s hopeful eyes, Qianye couldn’t bring herself to refuse. They bought a skewer of meat each and sat in the cafeteria. For a while, they sat in silence, the air moving around them, but Zhou Ran’s emotions were quietly brewing. Finally, she spoke, “Qianye, you know, from the first time I saw your brother, I fell in love with him. Yesterday I confessed to him by text, but he rejected me. But I still love him. How unfair… My feelings for him were so obvious, but in the end, I lost everything, not even my dignity left…”

Qianye felt a pang of sadness deep inside, like a yellow leaf being swept into the cafeteria by the wind. She realized that she and Zhou Ran were not so different—both longing for something they couldn’t have. If she confessed to Han Chao, it probably wouldn’t end any better than Zhou Ran’s confession. So, throughout high school, she kept this secret buried deep within her. She wasn’t sure whether her restraint came from pride or insecurity, but it felt as if this way, her love would be more noble and pure than the other girls who constantly whispered the names of their crushes.

She could only try her best to live in places where he could see her, constantly shining, hoping that one day he would notice her beauty.

Zhou Ran cried for a long time, and Qianye silently waited for her. Eventually, Zhou Ran lifted her head and gave her an apologetic smile. “Thank you for having snacks with me. The mid-term exams are coming, right? You should work hard.”

Qianye’s heart was a mess of emotions. After high school, Zhao Nanzhuo often waited for Qianye to go home with him. She had gotten used to being alone, but since he was his deskmate, being with him increased her chances of seeing Han Chao. Qianye tried to use Zhao Nanzhuo’s proximity to Han Chao to get closer to him.

If one day Zhou Ran found out that they weren’t related by blood, would she hate her?

Half the school year had passed in the blink of an eye. In preparation for the mid-term exams, Qianye decided to stay at school to study during lunch and have her meal in the cafeteria. This way, she would have fewer chances of running into Han Chao. To make up for the emptiness she felt, she paid special attention during the fourth period. If class ended early, she couldn’t help but want to step out and “accidentally” bump into him, then circle back to her own classroom. If she didn’t see him, her heart would feel restless.

During the mid-term exams, Qianye thought she did quite well. The Chinese essay was a half-title topic, and she always managed to make even the dullest topics both conventional and vivid.

This time, she included a small argument in her essay: “I love you, but it has nothing to do with you.” Every time the school held a major exam, they would print out the best essays from each grade and distribute them as model examples.