Chapter 51

Pei Jian rode his horse back, outwardly composed, but internally, a storm raged. That restaurant had been a place he had introduced Nianxi to, yet now she had brought Gu Ci there.

Who was Gu Ci, anyway?

What right did he have to overwrite what once belonged to Pei Jian?

Pei Jian had tried to warn himself not to overthink, but some thoughts were beyond anyone’s control. His grip on the reins alternated between tightening and loosening, but he could not suppress the anger burning within him. He realized that his irrationality would only push Nianxi further away. Determined to distract himself, he decided to head to the Censorate, hoping that work would numb his feelings. He had been busy there recently but had already completed everything—both what needed to be done and what didn’t. Given his current rank, there wasn’t much more requiring his decision-making or involvement. Since his rebirth, he had advanced faster and steadier than in his previous life, leaving him significantly more free time.

He often dreamed of Nianxi from the past, utterly alone in the lavish prime minister’s mansion. The loneliness and waiting, he now realized, were indescribably bitter. The bitter taste of waiting and loneliness—Pei Jian now understood its indescribable torment. He wandered aimlessly through the streets, his heart growing increasingly desolate.

Having already savored the feeling of wielding power, he realized that the more he possessed, the fewer things in this world could truly satisfy him. Even if he regained his position as the Prime Minister and reached the pinnacle of authority, it no longer seemed like something worth longing for because his original motivation and initial efforts had all been for her.

And it was his own hands that had destroyed their home.

What could he do? Nianxi no longer wanted him.

He suddenly clenched his fists, veins faintly visible on the back of his hand.

The bustling market of Great Jing, as bright as daylight, was a lively maze of countless establishments. The mingling aromas of alcohol and cosmetics hit him as he walked. Lanterns lit up rows of taverns lining the street, and the combined sounds of zithers, singing, and the laughter of men and women wove together into the chaotic but vibrant tapestry of the world.

An acquaintance hosting guests there spotted him riding by and enthusiastically called out, “Shizhang? You’re here! Come, come, join us for a drink.”

Pei Jian, in a daze, followed them inside. He had grown weary of solitude, longing to escape it—even temporarily—and sought the warmth of wine to soothe his aching heart. Although the officials present worked in different departments, most were familiar faces.

The group exchanged lively greetings. Li Zhong, the Vice Minister of the Court of Judicial Review, had interacted with Pei Jian for official matters before and held a good impression of him. Upon meeting, he teased: “Earlier, someone suggested inviting a few courtesans to compose poetry together, but Zhong Fu firmly refused, perhaps afraid he might not match their wits. Now there’s no need to worry—Shizhang’s talent could stand against all twenty courtesans from the southern market!”

The group burst into laughter again and asked the Mama to bring the performers onto the stage. Soon, beauties emerged in charm and allure, and even the wine in their cups seemed to carry a strong fragrance of rouge.

Sitting close to Pei Jian, Li Zhong personally poured him wine and remarked with a chuckle, “Whenever I invite you to a banquet, you always have excuses not to come. Don’t just focus on drinking. Let me ask, you’re still unmarried—why act as if you’re guarding your purity?” Having drunk quite a bit, his speech became somewhat incoherent. He loudly called out for “Lv Yun, Lv Yun” and, when she arrived, leaned on her shoulders with playful gestures and said, “Lv Yun, show your skill and properly take care of my brother here. If you do it well, there will be a generous reward!”

Pei Jian downed several cups of Qinhuai Spring Wine in succession. His tolerance had grown, and even after a pot of wine, his mind remained clear.

Lv Yun, moving sinuously like a water snake, approached him. Pei Jian didn’t glance at her, excused himself to Li Zhong, and left the establishment, riding his horse toward Yiqiao Street.

Li Zhong’s words earlier struck a chord—he was indeed a man with a family and must remain faithful. More than that, he needed to confront Nianxi about why the promises of the past no longer held. After ten years of marriage, how could Gu Ci, an intruder, have any place?

Outside the corner gate, Aunt Wang sighed upon seeing him, almost instinctively, and said, “The young miss is asleep and won’t see anyone.”

“You tell her I’ll wait here if she doesn’t come. If someone sees me and reports it, I’ll have a proper conversation with Lord Wen.”

These words carried an air of shameless threat.

Aunt Wang’s face turned unpleasant for a moment. Yet she didn’t dare dismiss him outright—if things escalated, she would surely bear the brunt of it. She could only leave angrily.

Earlier, she had pitied Pei Jian for being love-struck. Now, she thought, no wonder the young miss chose Lord Gu over him—”Serves him right!”

When Aunt Wang reluctantly conveyed the message, Nianxi’s face darkened. “Did he really say that?”

Aunt Wang lowered her head and confirmed, “Seems like he’s had some wine—looks somewhat drunk.”

Nianxi sneered. Hadn’t he just been secretly meeting Cousin Xu earlier? How come, upon seeing her with Gu Ci, this man’s pride suddenly couldn’t handle it?

Nianxi was thoroughly exasperated by Pei Jian’s unreasonable antics. They had long agreed to stay out of each other’s lives, but he kept interfering. Even someone as bright and lively as Gu Ci had been made despondent by him. Now, what drunken madness is he pulling again?

“If he wants to wait, let him wait.” She wanted to see just how shameless and idle he could get.

Nianxi rose and headed toward the inner chamber. “I’m tired and about to sleep. If there’s anything else, go to the front courtyard and let my brother handle it.”

“…Understood.”

Pei Jian patiently waited under the osmanthus tree. The summer night’s breeze gently cooled the restless heat in his chest.

It was only after some time that he realized he reeked of alcohol and perhaps even bore the scent of makeup. Her nose was the keenest, and she would surely despise such odors. His heart suddenly grew uneasy.

For a moment, he thought of giving up entirely—after all, she no longer cared whether he drank or not. But then again, he couldn’t help but overthink. He had come to reconcile, not to upset her further.

He had threatened her earlier, demanding to meet her, and she had probably already vented her anger. When they finally met, he couldn’t act as aggressively as before. Nianxi now seemed to favor Gu Ci, the kind of man who lacked backbone and simply fawned over her shamelessly.

Pei Jian, swallowing his bitterness and grievances, thought to himself—if only she would look back, he could certainly outdo Gu Ci in every way!

Actually, when he saw her, what was he supposed to do? What was he supposed to say? Pei Jian himself didn’t know. He came over with nothing but courage, only to catch a glimpse of her and hear her voice. Even if she scolded him or bit his hand again, it would be fine.

Anything was better than this—This unfamiliarity that made his heart uneasy.

A shadow flickered at the moon gate, and Pei Jian straightened up, his spirit lifting. But behind Aunt Wang, there wasn’t that familiar and graceful figure. She refused to see him.

“The young miss has already gone to bed. She said if you want to wait, then wait here,” Aunt Wang finished speaking and, seeing Pei Jian’s despondent appearance, lost her earlier anger. A surge of sympathy welled up uncontrollably. “You should go home. She won’t see you.”

A few days ago, at the crack of dawn, Pei Jian, with injuries all over his face, came looking for the young miss. It was terrifying. Aunt Wang, following Nianxi’s instructions, sent him away. Later, she heard from a little maid on duty that Lord Gu had also been visiting less frequently. Aunt Wang vaguely guessed something was going on. She thought that after Lord Pei had been rebuffed so thoroughly, he’d give up his improper thoughts. She never expected that he’d come knocking again after only a few days!

Speaking of which, Lord Gu had just come to see the young miss today, and now he had arrived.

A tangled fate, truly a tangled fate.

Pei Jian, calm and cold, though young, carried an intimidating presence.

Aunt Wang had been afraid of him at first, but after seeing how many times he had been rejected, she found him less intimidating, even with his cold demeanor. She wasn’t afraid anymore; instead, she could even console him. “Actually, it’s better that the young miss refuses to see you.”

Pei Jian’s dark, piercing eyes bore down on her, and Aunt Wang’s knees almost buckled. Forcing herself to stay composed, she said, “You’ve just come from the pleasure quarters, haven’t you? Reeking of alcohol and perfume. She’ll probably dislike you even more if she sees you like this.”

Pei Jian slightly restrained his imposing manner but said nothing.

Aunt Wang breathed a sigh of relief and continued, “Whenever Lord Gu comes to see the young miss, isn’t he always impeccably dressed and refined? Which young woman doesn’t love someone dashing?”

“But you, not to mention this time—last time, early in the morning, you showed up with a face full of injuries. Even I was scared, let alone the young lady!”

“You really should learn from Lord Gu. At least he knows to wait a couple of days for his wounds to heal before coming. Whether it’s to avoid worrying our young miss or simply for appearances, he always shows restraint. But you, every time, you come barging in, forcing her to see you.”

Pei Jian’s heart stirred, but outwardly, he sneered dismissively, “Learn from him?”

“Of course you should!” Aunt Wang slapped her thigh. “My daughter says Lord Gu consults the young miss on everything, big or small. He treasures her like a precious gem, afraid she might fall if held too tightly or melt if kept too gently!”

Pei Jian’s lips moved slightly. He thought he also wanted to treat Nianxi well, but she never gave him the chance.

“You haven’t shown it at all! Every time you come, you’re stern and grim-faced, as if you’re here to interrogate her.”

Aunt Wang grew more animated as she spoke. “Men love the company of charming women, and if women have a choice, they’ll prefer someone gentle, considerate, handsome, and elegant. Lord Gu fits all those criteria.”

“You, on the other hand, should learn to treat the young miss better.”

Pei Jian stood there in a daze for a long while. The night wind blew against him, sending a chill through his body.

No wonder, at first, he and Nianxi could still have a proper conversation. Lately, she had been wearing impatience on her face and had refused even to see him.

Pei Jian looked down at his disheveled state and let out a short laugh. It suddenly dawned on him that during this time, he had unwittingly become a stepping stone for Gu Ci, making him look even better by comparison.

Pei Jian took out a gold ingot from his pocket. Aunt Wang was startled and quickly withdrew her hands, not daring to accept it.

“This isn’t a bribe. Just carry on as you always do,” Pei Jian said softly. “Thank you for your words today.”