Chapter 83

Sang Yao had been puzzled for a long time about what exactly she liked.

She even found it absurd to be attracted to someone who wasn’t a relative or close friend, and then constantly have him on her mind.

With dampness still clinging to Xie Yun’s body, Sang Yao held a small cat in one hand while Xie Yun held her other hand.

After the rain, rose petals covered the ground.

Sang Yao glanced at him quietly.

Then she began to contemplate why she liked him.

It seemed like there were many reasons, yet it also felt like no reasons were needed.

If she had faced this fact one day earlier, she would have felt much more at ease.

The person she liked also liked her back, they got married, and she would happily tell Xie Yun, “Since you like me so much, I’ll like you back.”

But now she couldn’t do that.

She had to start reevaluating her relationship with Xie Yun.

They were now husband and wife, and they had initially married out of mutual convenience.

Even though they had been intimate during this time—kissing and being in bed—strictly speaking, these had nothing to do with emotions because they were things that spouses naturally did.

As Sang Yao thought about it, she felt increasingly frustrated.

After all this time, her husband seemed not to like her much, and he hadn’t been very willing to marry her in the first place.

Sang Yao tried hard to recall, attempting to find evidence that Xie Yun liked her, but after much effort, she found none.

In the end, it was always the same.

Xie Yun could comfort her, but that was the extent of it.

He rarely made promises, let alone sweet words of affection.

Meeting her gaze, Xie Yun stopped walking, lowered his eyes, and asked her, “What are you thinking while sneaking glances at me?”

Sang Yao hmphed and said, “Am I not allowed to look at you?”

Xie Yun’s lips curled slightly, a hint of amusement flashing in his eyes.

He said, “Then hurry up, let’s go back so you can have a good look.”

He reached out to take the white kitten in Sang Yao’s arms, his large hand cradling the small, snowy creature.

Then he asked, “Is this the one you call ‘Bai Bai’?”

Sang Yao nodded and said, “It was a tiny ball when it first arrived, but now it’s gotten chubby.”

“Do you think it’s cute?”

The round little cat obediently stayed in Xie Yun’s palm, boldly licking his fingers.

Sang Yao felt her heart melt as she watched.

But there was no change in the man’s gaze.

Clearly, he wasn’t interested in this adorable display.

He hmmed and then said seriously, “You’re still cuter.”

Sang Yao pursed her lips, perhaps because she was feeling more sensitive now, but anyway, she wasn’t happy again.

What did Xie Yun mean?

She lowered her hand and asked, “Why are you comparing me to a kitten?”

Xie Yun looked at her, genuinely puzzled. “What?”

Sang Yao said, “In your eyes, am I the same as a kitten?”

Xie Yun replied, “Your questioning angle is quite novel, but I really didn’t mean that.”

He was genuinely perplexed and then asked, “Why do you think that?”

Sang Yao stood in front of him, resolutely stating, “Then say it again.”

Xie Yun hesitated, rarely at a loss for words.

In fact, he really wanted to ask what she meant by “say it again,” but his intuition told him that asking might make things worse.

He wasn’t very experienced in praising people.

Throughout his life, he hardly praised anyone, and even the few times he praised Sang Yao couldn’t be considered praise, but rather stating facts.

So he remained silent for a long time.

The two of them stood face to face in all seriousness.

Seeing the girl’s face turning worse, Xie Yun racked his brain and said, “You’re the cutest.”

Actually, there were many things he could say—compliment her beauty, praise her kindness and amiability—but saying those always felt rushed.

After all, what captivated him wasn’t just those qualities; it was the entirety of her. So in the end, he only said one thing, “You’re very cute.”

Sang Yao quietly waited for Xie Yun to continue.

But all he offered was silence.

Sang Yao began to ponder the word “cute” again.

She felt that people generally didn’t praise someone as cute. Usually, cuteness was associated with being chubby or doing something silly.

People couldn’t help but say, out of courtesy, “You’re really cute.”

But she showed no signs of joy on her face and followed up with, “And then?”

Xie Yun pursed his lips, deep in thought.

Under the girl’s serious gaze, he awkwardly said, “…I really like you.”

Sang Yao blinked, feeling slightly relieved.

She stood side by side with Xie Yun, then looped her arm through his and said, “Let’s go.”

And so, with Xie Yun holding the cat in one hand and Sang Yao’s hand in the other, they slowly walked back to their room.

He couldn’t shake the feeling that Sang Yao was acting a bit strange.

But he couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong.

After some thought, he felt it might be because of that booklet.

But since Sang Yao hadn’t brought it up, he didn’t want to let it affect her mood again.

When they returned to their room, Xie Yun set down Bai Bai and then bowed his head, his mood finally easing after a day of frustration.

He hadn’t felt anything before getting married, but now, dealing with those old ministers who were constantly discussing this and that made him extremely impatient.

All afternoon, he had been with a group of ministers in their forties and fifties, even though it was supposed to be his wedding leave, he hadn’t felt the slightest sense of rest.

He was tired of their old faces, with Sang Yao occupying his mind the whole time.

Even the little snake he carried with him was almost crushed by him.

After washing his hands, he walked up to Sang Yao, wrapped his arms around her, and felt the warmth in his embrace.

Xie Yun felt satisfied everywhere except for one thing. He couldn’t keep his hands still as they roamed over her body, then he whispered to her, “You weren’t really here to pick me up today, were you?”

Sang Yao struggled a bit, but not enough to break free.

She turned her face away and said, “I didn’t know when you would come back.”

After a moment of thought, she added, “Anyway, you’re like this every day. I’m used to it.”

“And last time, you said you would try to avoid not being home for lunch, but I don’t see any signs of that.”

“Look at you, is there any difference between your leave and not having one?”

Xie Yun felt she was right, but he sensed the complaint in her tone and chuckled, “Miss Sang, you really miss me, don’t you?”

After a moment’s thought, he leaned down to kiss Sang Yao gently, feeling it wasn’t enough, he lightly bit her plump lips, then continued, “But I miss you too.”

While this would have made Sang Yao happy to hear in the past, now she only wanted to hear Xie Yun say, “Darling, I love you.”

Comparing the two, a simple “I miss you” wasn’t much.

She brushed off the hand on her bottom and said

“Don’t keep pinching me, it’s annoying.”

My butt is getting sore from all the pinching.

“…?”

Xie Yun’s face darkened as he asked, “Are you annoyed with me?”

Sang Yao retorted, “Who asked you to keep touching me?”

“I’ve touched you so many times before, and today you’re suddenly impatient?”

Sang Yao didn’t answer, just turned her face away with a hum.

Xie Yun released his hand, furrowing his brows. He placed a hand on Sang Yao’s shoulder and after a moment of silence, he asked, “…Why are you so irritable today?”

Sang Yao pursed her lips, refusing to look at him.

It wasn’t that she was irritable; it’s just that the thought of liking Xie Yun and the possibility of him not liking her back made her feel frustrated.

And confused.

She didn’t know how to deal with this situation.

She felt she couldn’t ask directly because she had a feeling that no matter what she asked, Xie Yun would give a positive answer.

She didn’t want to force him to say he liked her, nor did she want to hint at it.

She wanted him to express his feelings sincerely.

But then again, what if Xie Yun didn’t like her? How could she express her feelings? And even if Xie Yun did like her, he didn’t seem like the type to say sweet words.

She was not good at hiding her emotions and easily showed her frustration.

After pondering for a while, she felt she couldn’t continue like this.

So she took the initiative to lean into Xie Yun’s arms and said, “I’m not irritable. I just feel like you’re very busy.”

“It’ll be better in a couple of days,” Xie Yun replied.

He knew Sang Yao was still upset about the book.

He cursed under his breath at that useless thing on the flower stand. He looked at the small book with increasing dislike and said, “I’ll have someone throw it away later.”

Bringing up Sang Yao’s sadness again, she let go of Xie Yun upon hearing his words. She walked to the flower stand and picked up the small book, saying, “Forget it, let’s leave it for now.”

She glanced sadly at Xie Yun, thinking at least the Xie Yun in the book called her ‘baby,’ while the Xie Yun in front of her hardly even called her by her name.

“What’s with that look?” Xie Yun asked.

Sang Yao averted her gaze and murmured, “Nothing.”

After a long while, when Xie Yun had already taken off his outer garment and was preparing to quickly bathe and join her in bed, Sang Yao sighed again, “I just think the writing by Jinglian is quite good.”

“Although the drawings aren’t great and the characters aren’t very accurate, at least the story is heartwarming. It’s a shame to throw it away, don’t you think?”

Xie Yun keenly sensed the undertone of her words.

He hung his outer garment on the screen, then walked up to Sang Yao. Unable to resist anymore, he asked, “What are you concerned about?”

He lifted Sang Yao’s chin, saying, “Miss Sang, what are you dissatisfied with today? Please tell me.”

“And aren’t we affectionate enough?” he added.

What does she mean by the characters aren’t accurate? Was she implying she likes the Xie Yun in the book?

The Xie Yun in the book is not even one-tenth of him. What kind of taste does Sang Yao have?

But Sang Yao was still thinking about whether they were affectionate enough or not, while she pitifully worried about whether this stinky man liked her or not.

It’s already this late, and he’s still calling her ‘Miss Sang.’

Even though the small book is fake, at least the two characters in it love each other, expressing their love every day in various ways, so vivid.

She tactfully said, “There’s no passion between us.”

Xie Yun fell silent again.

This little book is really causing a lot of trouble; he still hasn’t figured out why Sang Yao is angry.

He said he wouldn’t laugh at her, and whether or not there’s this little book, the result would be the same. Yet, she still seemed to care a lot.

Xie Yun suppressed a smile and calmly asked, “Was I not passionate enough last night? What more passion do you want?”

“Or do you think our time in bed is too dull?”

As he spoke, Sang Yao’s outer garment had already been undone, and she didn’t know when his hands had slipped onto her.

Blushing, she covered herself and exclaimed, “What are you doing?”

Expressionless, Xie Yun said, “It’s hard, what do you think?”

“…?”

Xie Yun wrapped an arm around her waist and lifted her up, carrying her towards the bathing chamber.

Sang Yao instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck. She remembered something, and suddenly, her body, which had been unresponsive all afternoon, felt a faint soreness. Blushing, she scolded him, “You shameless!”

Xie Yun pretended not to hear, saying, “Your suggestion is very good. To spice up our lives, I’ve decided we’ll bathe together tonight.