Chapter 6: A Man Must Be Useful

“Well, this is kind of a long story,”

Lu Qiniang began to chatter on.

Originally, she relied on her own strength to support her three daughters, and life was going fairly well.

Later, by a twist of fate, she started doing some rough work at the Zhou Family residence.

Her three daughters also helped out in various parts of the Zhou residence, so all four of them had some income.

Daya worked in the embroidery room, learning needlework; Erya caught the attention of the housekeeper’s wife, ran errands for her, and began learning to read and do accounting; Sanya, though still young, was able to run messages and deliver letters.

“…My plan was that girls should gain more experience. We’d stay at the Zhou residence for a few years, earn some dowries, and ideally, they’d become literate. Then the four of us would return home, buy a house and some land. Life would be so good.”

“What happened after that?” Xiao Yan asked, listening intently.

He saw Lu Qiniang’s hopes for the future—she was someone who still had something to look forward to.

“After that, all sorts of messy things happened. I felt it wasn’t safe for girls to stay there anymore. Those old masters and young lords of the Zhou Family—hardly any of them are clean. What if they set their sights on my three girls?”

“You didn’t want them to marry into a higher-status family?”

Xiao Yan knew that many people clung to the Marquis’s residence, unwilling to leave.

“One should eat only as much as one can handle,” Lu Qiniang replied. “I’m just a powerless mother. Even if they managed to marry up, wouldn’t they spend their whole lives being pointed at behind their backs?”

“And those people don’t even treat others like human beings.” Thinking of the two young girls who had died like flowers withering too soon, Lu Qiniang felt that beneath the overwhelming wealth of the Marquis’s residence lay countless bones—nothing worth longing for.

“In the past two years, with the New Year rewards included, I had saved over fifty taels of silver. Who would’ve thought that just when I was ready to leave, I fell seriously ill and spent all of it?”

“Fifty taels of silver, and all I got was this fat body. This meat of mine must be worth gold,” Lu Qiniang said with a self-deprecating laugh.

Xiao Yan hadn’t realized that Lu Qiniang had just recovered from a serious illness and still spent her last bit of silver to buy him.

For a moment, he was deeply moved. After a long pause, he said, “Those who survive great hardship are destined for future blessings.”

“Still quoting books—always sounds so nice.” Lu Qiniang chuckled. “Xiao Yan, can I talk something over with you?”

“Go ahead.”

“I can’t read a single word,” Lu Qiniang said, “but I’ve seen how different it is when young ladies at the Zhou residence have an education. Even my Erya changed after learning a few characters. While you’re here with us, I don’t expect you to do much with your body like this. But when you’ve got time, could you teach my girls? Maybe five characters a day—would that be okay?”

Here, women who studied were often mocked.

But Lu Qiniang didn’t see it that way.

“…If studying wasn’t any good, then why would men do it? Men are the shrewdest—they must be gaining something from it, which is why they don’t want women to have the same,” Lu Qiniang said. “I refuse to believe that. My life may have been muddled, but my three girls will live with clarity and understanding.”

“I can teach them. But…” Xiao Yan hesitated, then said, “I think that as their adoptive mother, you’re too indulgent. I’m afraid they might not appreciate you in the future.”

“I don’t like what you’re implying. Who doesn’t spoil their own children? I didn’t buy them to be servants—I bought them to be daughters,” Lu Qiniang replied. “Little girls should be strong—it’ll keep them from being bullied in the future. Who doesn’t have a few flaws, anyway?”

“Even if I didn’t give birth to them, I’ve treated them as if I did. Is it wrong to spoil and dote on them? People have feelings—one day when I’m old and maybe a little unreasonable, they’ll probably spoil me right back.”

As Lu Qiniang spoke, a hint of pride crept into her voice. “Look at Erya—isn’t she a fierce girl? She wouldn’t even lose out while eating shit. But that girl, when I fell ill, I had planned not to seek treatment and save the silver for them. Erya banged her head against the wall, saying if I didn’t treat myself, she’d die first just to show me. That girl—stubborn mouth, soft heart. I’ve scolded her countless times, but no matter how many losses she suffers, she still won’t change…”

“I’ve got a body full of flaws myself, so why shouldn’t my daughter be allowed to have a few? She’s a bit showy, likes to look good—is that really a flaw? It’s just me being useless. If I had money, I’d dress her up like a peacock every single day. That’s what a mother’s heart looks like.”

Xiao Yan was silent for a long time. Yet in his mind, it was as if bells and drums were thundering, the echoes making his scalp tingle.

It seemed he was starting to understand something.

Lu Qiniang had said that was “a mother’s heart.”

He had a birth mother. He had a legitimate mother. But he’d never had that kind of “mother.” ^[1]His Legitimate mother, the princess is the official wife, while his Birth mother is a concubine, his legitimate’s mother former maid.

His legitimate mother demanded that he be outstanding, bring glory to the family.

His birth mother told him to yield, to endure—for the sake of his elder brother’s future, and for paving the way for his younger ones.

When he made mistakes, no one said he was just human. No one forgave him. No one remembered the sacrifices he had made for the family.

Even he himself only blamed and punished himself, believing he wasn’t good enough, that he had brought shame to the family.

In those days of imprisonment and humiliation, he had drifted through life in a daze.

He had always felt that after more than twenty years of struggle, ending up with nothing was like a great fire scorching through his heart—leaving only bleak desolation in its wake—and he couldn’t even blame anyone for it.

But at this moment, listening to Lu Qiniang’s words, Xiao Yan felt as if he’d been struck by lightning—suddenly, everything became clear.

For the first time, he realized, with painful clarity, that he had never been loved as a child by his parents.

What they loved was the radiant, brilliant young general—not the disgraced, fallen man who had offended the powerful and ended up a laughingstock.

When he was in trouble, all he thought about was them. But when he fell, not one of them did anything for him.

Lu Qiniang, in truth, didn’t have to do anything for him either.

If the so-called “kindness” she had received in the past really counted as a debt, then the number of people who owed him is enough to repay him, would form an army.

“Xiao Yan, what do you think? Four characters a day, then?” she asked.

“Alright.” In the darkness, Xiao Yan stared with his eyes open, the corners prickling with soreness.

“Then I didn’t buy you for nothing,” Lu Qiniang said happily. “Don’t worry—if I have a bite to eat, you’ll have one too. But your family’s so rich, someone’s bound to come for you, right?”

Maybe when the time came, they’d toss her a little something as thanks—and wouldn’t that solve all her money troubles?

“No one will.” Xiao Yan’s voice was icy.

Lu Qiniang caught his displeasure and sensibly dropped the subject. “Alright, alright, sleep then—we’ll talk tomorrow.”

Soon, her steady breathing filled the room. She didn’t snore, but the dog did.

Xiao Yan had thought he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep. But whether it was because he was too exhausted or because the warmth of the kang bed was too comforting, he soon drifted into a deep sleep.

The next morning, he was awakened by the sound of an argument in the courtyard.

And unusually, Lu Qiniang—who always spoke in a loud voice—was now speaking in a deferential tone, “This is all just a misunderstanding, truly a misunderstanding…”