42. Annoying

Snow fell silently from the horizon, gradually covering the entire world.

Yu Yue’s eyelashes trembled lightly.

He saw snowflakes land on Xu Yuanzhe’s eyelashes, not immediately melting into water. Like an elf from an ice and snow world, even the eyelashes appeared snowy white.

Before Yu Yue could step back, Xu Yuanzhe left first.

However, Xu Yuanzhe didn’t go far.

They were initially standing close, and because Xu Yuanzhe leaned forward slightly, even after he left, they were still very close.

Holding a cigarette, Xu Yuanzhe lowered his eyes slightly, looking at Yu Yue.

Their breaths entangled, and for a moment, neither of them spoke.

Yu Yue didn’t look at Xu Yuanzhe.

His gaze lowered slightly and fell on Xu Yuanzhe’s Adam’s apple.

After staring for a while, Yu Yue turned his head and asked, “Is this the matter you wanted to talk to me about?”

Xu Yuanzhe still hadn’t spoken.

Yu Yue reached out, “Give me your phone.”

Xu Yuanzhe still remained silent, taking out his phone and handing it to Yu Yue.

When Yu Yue touched Xu Yuanzhe’s phone, he wasn’t sure if this action was out of spite or something else. Thinking about exchanging a kiss so they would be even, it seemed plausible.

He lowered his head, took Xu Yuanzhe’s phone, unlocked the screen, and intended to help Xu Yuanzhe accept the payment directly.

Unexpectedly, Xu Yuanzhe’s phone had a password on the lock screen.

Yu Yue’s fingers paused there.

Xu Yuanzhe clearly didn’t intend to tell Yu Yue what the password was.

Yu Yue lowered his eyes and saw the prompt on the lock screen, indicating that the fingerprint could also be used to unlock it.

His fingertips trembled unconsciously, noticing that Xu Yuanzhe was still using the same phone from five years ago. For some reason, with mixed emotions, he directly placed his fingerprint on the sensor.

With a light “click,” the phone opened.

Yu Yue pursed his lips, acting as if nothing had happened. He opened WeChat on Xu Yuanzhe’s phone, went into their chat, and clicked on the payment request.

After the successful transaction, Yu Yue returned the phone to Xu Yuanzhe.

However, Xu Yuanzhe didn’t take it.

After a long silence, Yu Yue couldn’t help but speak, “Consider getting a new phone; this one has been around for so many years.”

He didn’t realize there was a slight choke in his own voice.

Xu Yuanzhe lowered his eyes, looking at the phone in Yu Yue’s hand. “If I change it, I won’t be able to experience this day.”

Yu Yue said, “Haven’t you changed your phone number?”

Xu Yuanzhe replied, “No.”

Yu Yue hesitated for a moment, “But before, your phone number was exposed by the media. With your current popularity, won’t you receive a lot of harassing calls every day if you don’t change it?”

Finally, Xu Yuanzhe reached out and took the phone that Yu Yue offered.

Holding the phone, he lowered his hand, saying, “Among those many harassing calls, if one of them is from you, what should I do?”

Yu Yue couldn’t say a word.

When Xu Yuanzhe uttered that sentence, Yu Yue’s eyes instantly turned red, and his vision became a bit blurry. But he quickly let the cold wind blow away this warmth. He turned his head away, looking at another part of the rooftop, stubbornly saying, “I don’t even remember your phone number anymore.”

Xu Yuanzhe remained silent.

It was unclear how much time passed.

Xu Yuanzhe asked, “Do I still have a chance for you to remember my phone number again?”

Yu Yue didn’t speak.

He lightly bit his lower lip, doing his best to hold back the tears. However, he still turned his head, looking at another place. He originally wanted to say “no more,” but for some reason, the words that came out were:

“I don’t know.”

After a moment of silence, Xu Yuanzhe lowered his eyes and said, “Then I will try my best.”

Yu Yue didn’t want to stay here any longer.

He turned around and walked away, taking a few steps before stopping again.

Yu Yue turned back to look at Xu Yuanzhe.

He saw that Xu Yuanzhe seemed to be about to light another cigarette.

Unable to hold back, Yu Yue said to Xu Yuanzhe, “Smoke less.”

After saying that, he really turned around and left.

Xu Yuanzhe still held an unlit cigarette in his hand. After a long time, he lowered his eyes and put the cigarette back into the pack, deciding not to smoke.

On the way back, Yu Yue’s mood was terrible.

He didn’t drive, and none of them did because they had a bit of sake with their Japanese meal, making it unsafe to drive.

Yu Yue only took a couple of sips, not enough to get drunk, but he was truly upset.

Yet, he didn’t even know the reason for his agitation.

Was it because tonight he discovered that Xu Yuanzhe was still using the old phone from five years ago, with Yu Yue’s fingerprint lock still intact? Or was it because tonight Xu Yuanzhe mentioned that among those many harassing calls, if one of them was made by Yu Yue, what would he do? Or was it because Xu Yuanzhe asked Yu Yue if he had a chance to make Yu Yue remember his phone number again?

Whichever it was, it was enough to leave Yu Yue feeling lost and distraught.

Yu Yue felt very sad, and there was even a part of him that wanted to cry. He turned his head to look at the neon lights flowing outside the window. Since there were others in the car, he forcefully held back the tears, trying to force himself to think about something else and look at different scenery.

Four years ago, at the airport in City A, Yu Yue chose not to grab Xu Yuanzhe’s hand, chose not to to be with Xu Yuanzhe again. Four years ago, Yu Yue had already found no reason to convince himself to be with Xu Yuanzhe again.

Once someone loses the confidence of being loved, they become timid and helpless.

Yu Yue knew that his future now seemed bleak and uncertain. He once thought that love conquered all, that with love, they could overcome anything. But reality told him that love was the most precious yet the cheapest thing in this world. Xu Yuanzhe’s love for Yu Yue lost to reality, just as Yu Yue’s love for Xu Yuanzhe did.

They thought they were winners, but in the end, they both lost completely.

After seeing all of this, Yu Yue felt that it was very difficult for him to love someone again.

He still liked, still couldn’t forget, but love— it was too heavy. Without enough courage and the strength to confront reality, it shouldn’t be brought up again.

As for Xu Yuanzhe, Yu Yue felt that everything Xu Yuanzhe had gained over the years was achieved through his own hard work. These days, Yu Yue would come across entertainment news related to Xu Yuanzhe, talking about how Xu Yuanzhe had transformed from an extra eating boxed meals on the street into a movie emperor. He never used a body double in his films, even shooting scenes in freezing temperatures with a high fever. His dedication and hard work were widely known in the industry. Many wondered why Xu Yuanzhe worked so hard, initially thinking it was just to clear his debts. However, they later found out that even after paying off his debts, Xu Yuanzhe did not stop his relentless efforts.

Now, Xu Yuanzhe had finally reached the pinnacle.

But if he and Yu Yue were to be together, Yu Yue was well aware of the consequences and the ending. Reality and the public would mercilessly attack them. On one hand, Xu Yuanzhe’s fans would criticize Yu Yue, and on the other hand, the industry might resist Xu Yuanzhe for openly having a male partner. Later, Xu Yuanzhe might also fall from grace and plunge into an abyss.

At that point, Yu Yue didn’t know if he or Xu Yuanzhe could withstand all of this from reality.

They had already lost once. Why try again when they knew they might lose again?

Moreover, Yu Yue was well aware that they were not the same youths who could recklessly face challenges and obstacles.

They had grown up, and with that growth came the inevitable yielding of fervent love to reality.

So…

So they couldn’t go back.

But the thought of someone holding onto an old phone and an unchanged phone number made Yu Yue unable to stop himself from wanting to cry.

It was so strange.

Yu Yue always felt that Xu Yuanzhe seemed to have ascended to a high and distant place. Yet, when he turned back, he found that Xu Yuanzhe was still there. On the contrary, it was Yu Yue who, over the years, felt like he had been standing in the same place, simmering in his own emotions. However, when he realized it, he had already walked far away and could never go back.

Yu Yue sat in the passenger seat, gently supporting his forehead.

After a long time, he closed his eyes, feeling his eyelashes becoming a bit moist. However, with a gentle wipe of his palm, that moisture disappeared.

Back home, Yu Yue didn’t have the energy to deal with work.

He turned on the computer, originally intending to look at the script and arrange things for the movie. Unexpectedly, as if his fingers were uncontrollable, he clicked on the cloud drive on the computer desktop.

Yu Yue’s fingers seemed to have a mind of their own.

Clicking on the cloud drive, and then opening the folder with photos of him and Xu Yuanzhe.

In the folder, the youthful and innocent faces and smiles of the two boys were so nostalgic, especially that one photo where Yu Yue casually snapped a picture and unexpectedly captured the rainbow in the frame.

Yu Yue’s fingers slowly scrolled down, looking at one photo after another.
After looking for a long time, he finally stopped and closed the computer.

Yu Yue curled up his legs, sitting on the sofa, hugging his knees. His voice was low as he murmured:

“The old me was probably cuter… You probably won’t like the current me, Xu Yuanzhe.”

The current Yu Yue, timid, cowardly, sensitive, inconsistent, and always indecisive.

The annoying Yu Yue.

Two days later, Yu Yue received a message from Xu Yuanzhe.

Xu Yuanzhe said on WeChat, “I’m about to go abroad for a film event, probably for more than a month. During this time, I won’t cut my hair. When my hair has grown out, I’ll come for an audition with you.”

After two seconds, he asked Yu Yue again, “I have a cat about five years old at home. Can I trouble you to take care of it?”

To be honest, when Yu Yue saw this message, he was genuinely puzzled for a moment.

He replied to Xu Yuanzhe, “I’ve never had a cat…”

Xu Yuanzhe responded, “No trouble. Just feed it regularly, spend ten minutes playing with it, and it’ll be fine. It can go to the toilet by itself. Clean the litter box on weekends, and that’s about it.”

Yu Yue asked, “Isn’t there anyone else who can take care of it? I really don’t know how to raise a cat.” After a pause, he asked again, “What about Zhou Ling? Can she take care of it?”

Xu Yuanzhe said, “She’s allergic to cat fur.”

In fact, Yu Yue really wanted to ask Xu Yuanzhe if he didn’t have a single friend in the entertainment industry who could take care of a cat. Did it have to be him, a complete novice in pet care?

It’s not that he couldn’t.

Yu Yue loved small animals since he was a child, but after he accidentally caused the death of a small rabbit due to feeding it the wrong thing, he never kept any pets again.

He was afraid that he might make a mistake and harm Xu Yuanzhe’s cat, which would be troublesome.

However, it seemed that Xu Yuanzhe had already decided to send the cat over. He even mentioned that he had a flight tonight, and the time was tight.

Yu Yue had no choice but to let Xu Yuanzhe bring the cat over.

In the afternoon, Xu Yuanzhe arrived.

The doorbell rang, and Yu Yue opened the door to see Xu Yuanzhe wearing a windbreaker, a mask, carrying a cage, and holding a large and small bag of things—cat litter, cat food, snacks, and toys.

Xu Yuanzhe lifted the cage and directly opened the cage door.

Yu Yue stared at the cage door for a while, and then saw a chubby head poking out.

“So chubby,” Yu Yue couldn’t help but comment.

Xu Yuanzhe didn’t say anything.

The cat was obviously not afraid of strangers. After coming out, it circled around Yu Yue’s legs, raised its tail high, and even circled around Yu Yue’s legs.

It looked up at Yu Yue, its dark eyes like grapes. At that moment, Yu Yue felt that the cat seemed somewhat familiar.

Yu Yue subconsciously asked Xu Yuanzhe, “What’s its name?”

Xu Yuanzhe squatted down, patted the cat’s back, and took out a cat treat, saying, “Xiao Yu’er.”

Yu Yue: “…?”