Chapter 1: The Unlucky, Broke, and Doomed Bureau Chief  

On the seventh day of the seventh month,  

the Bureau of Tribulation Transference’s notorious feng shui—infamous for being “unlucky, broke, and deadly to its chiefs”—lived up to its reputation once again. It claimed the life of its fifteenth chief, leaving neither bones nor a trace of his soul behind.  

The Nine Bureaus of Youdu convened to discuss the appointment of the sixteenth chief.  

Throughout the Three Realms, everyone trembled in fear.  

***  

Deep into the night, the Four Cities Ghost Market blurred the lines between the living and the dead, casting eerie shadows along the long streets.  

By the roadside, someone was selling incense offerings. A few ghosts from Youdu huddled around an incense burner, greedily inhaling the fumes. Though they didn’t consume the offerings with their mouths, it didn’t stop them from gossiping.  

“…I heard the officials from the Nine Bureaus of Youdu have all taken leave these past few days. No one wants to touch that cursed Bureau of Tribulation Transference.”  

“Tsk, even the deputy chief of the Bureau is terrified of getting promoted and dragged into the mess. You can imagine… how terrifying it must be.”  

“Exactly, after all…”  

As the ghosts chattered in riddles, a bystander who couldn’t follow the conversation finally interjected.  

“What’s going on with the Bureau of Tribulation Transference? The chief’s position is so prestigious—why would anyone avoid it?”  

The ghosts turned to glare at the speaker, displeased.  

Ghosts carried resentment by nature and rarely got along with the living. Unless it was for business, few living souls would strike up a conversation with vengeful spirits.  

But with just one glance, the ghosts exchanged puzzled looks.  

The ghost market was filthy and chaotic. A recent ghostly rain had left the ground damp, and the trampled yellow paper offerings made the place look even grimmer.  

In a corner stood a small stall, adorned with an array of talismans and a banner that read: “Divine Calculations, Path to Immortality.”  

A man in a moon-white robe sat cross-legged on a coarse cloth mat. His jet-black hair cascaded to the ground, and his face bore the pallor of someone who rarely saw sunlight. Yet his eyes and brows carried a gentle smile, framed by exceptionally fine bone structure.  

—If not for the shadow he cast, one might have mistaken him for a seductive painted-skin ghost.  

The Soul-Fetching Ghost, who had been stewing in resentment for half a month, found his anger dissipating entirely under the assault of such beauty.  

He quickly retracted his predatory expression and spoke softly, “The Bureau’s deadly feng shui isn’t new—people have always avoided it. But this time, the fear is even greater because of a divination performed by the Nether Palace’s lord.”  

Li Changsheng, having sat at his stall all day without customers, decided to indulge in the gossip. He leisurely lit the herbs in his jade pipe and asked with curiosity, “The Nether Palace?”  

The Soul-Fetching Ghost explained, “Rumors say the lord of the Nether Palace was once a Four Spirits True Dragon in life, destined for glory and ascension. But he met a treacherous beauty who deceived him.”  

“The beauty not only stole his heart and body but also ran him through with a sword, ending his life.”  

“For three hundred years, the lord’s resentment has festered, and he’s been thirsting for revenge.”  

Li Changsheng exhaled a puff of smoke, intrigued. “A tragic tale of unrequited love—how poetic. But what about this ‘divination’?”  

The ghosts exchanged glances.  

The Soul-Fetching Ghost glanced around to ensure no Nether Palace ghosts were nearby, then leaned in and whispered, “Not long ago, the Reaching Heaven Pavilion performed a divination for the Nether Palace’s lord. It foretold that the sixteenth chief of the Bureau of Tribulation Transference would be his murderer. The Nether Palace and the Bureau have always been at odds—this is going to be quite the spectacle.”  

Another ghost chimed in crudely, “Blood debts are the hardest to repay. Given Lord Feng Hui’s Yazi-like nature—holding grudges to the death—if the sixteenth chief really is his sworn enemy, he won’t care about reincarnation. Once he finds the guy, he’ll probably fuck him, kill him, fuck him again, whip the corpse, grind the bones to dust, and then fuck him some more!”  

Li Changsheng: “…”  

That many times?  

Youdu is truly depraved.

The soul-snatching ghost, who usually wouldn’t even partake in incense offerings, had an uncharacteristic flush on its perpetually pale face. Coughing awkwardly, it asked, “Ahem, Master, how much for this talisman?”

Li Changsheng raised a single eyebrow slightly, exhaling a puff of smoke. His striking features became even more mesmerizing amidst the swirling haze as he smiled and reminded, “This is a Ghost Expelling Talisman.”

The ghost nearly forgot its own nature and coughed again. “Any talisman will do.”

Seeing such an easy mark, Li Changsheng cheerfully flipped over a small wooden sign beside him, revealing densely packed lines of text.

Dazzled by his beauty and disoriented by that smile, it took the ghost a while to focus and read the words clearly:

「Ghost Expelling Talisman – 100 taels  

Calamity Expelling Talisman – 500 taels  

Ghost King Repelling Talisman – 1000 taels  

Massive sale, bargain prices, selling at a loss  

Fair to all, guaranteed refund of 10,000 taels if ineffective」

The soul-snatching ghost: “…………”

Everything about this screamed Jianghu scam artist!

Li Changsheng smiled again, his tone gentle. “This Ghost Expelling Talisman was drawn with the blood from my heart. A single one can disperse even a Calamitous Spirit into nothingness. If you take it, be extremely careful not to harm yourself.”

The ghost was so captivated by his smile that it forgot its own name. “Give me ten!”

Li Changsheng narrowed his eyes with amusement and handed over a stack of Ghost Expelling Talismans.

The ghost, being relatively wealthy, hurriedly pulled out a pile of silver from its robes.

Just as Li Changsheng, pleasantly surprised by this unexpected windfall, was about to accept the payment with a smirk, a hand suddenly shot out from the side and clamped down hard on his wrist.

“Li Changsheng—!”

Looking up, Li Changsheng thought, Oh no.

The newcomer appeared young, dressed in tattered Daoist robes, his Magical Artifact whisk seemingly burned to a stub. His face was contorted with rage as he ground out through clenched teeth, “You dare swindle people so brazenly here? This time, I’ll kill you to rid the world of this scourge!”

Masking his momentary lapse, Li Changsheng put on an innocent expression. “Young friend Lou, what baseless accusations! Broad daylight is no time to slander an honest man.”

Lou Changwang laughed coldly in fury and turned to the soul-snatching ghost. “Fool! Can’t you see his Ghost Expelling Talismans are all fake? So bewitched by his face you can’t even read?”

As the ghost bristled with anger, Lou Changwang grabbed a random talisman and slapped it onto the ghost’s body.

Remembering Li Changsheng’s claim that “a single one can disperse even a Calamitous Spirit,” the ghost panicked, ready to leap three feet in the air—only to see the talisman flutter harmlessly to the ground, revealing the flamboyant calligraphy:

「Blessings of Fertility」.

…Utterly useless.

The soul-snatching ghost: “?”

Li Changsheng: “…”

The surrounding ghosts stared in shocked dismay, unable to believe this celestial-looking man was a fraud!

The fraudulent master smiled serenely, casually tucking his smoking pipe into his sleeve. With impeccable courtesy, he said, “This talisman must have gotten wet and lost its potency. Take any ten from the ground as compensation.”

The ghosts: “…”

What good are ten fake talismans?!

Seizing the moment while everyone was too stunned by his shamelessness to react, Li Changsheng deftly twisted free from Lou Changwang’s grip. Abandoning his entire stock of “Blessings of Fertility Talismans,” he turned tail and fled.

Lou Changwang’s fury reached its peak. Summoning his Spirit Sword with a roar, he bellowed, “Die, you scoundrel!”

Li Changsheng darted through the crowded Ghost Street like the wind, the roadside fire pots casting flickering orange sparks that nearly singed his moon-white outer robe—the very garment he used to feign profundity.  

Lou Changwang hadn’t expected this scoundrel, who looked sickly and frail, to run so damn fast.  

Just as the man was about to vanish into the crowd, Lou gritted his teeth, yanked a few golden needles from his hair, and hurled them forward with force.  

Li Changsheng heard a sharp whistle behind him and tensed.  

Five metallic *dings* rang out as the needles embedded into the ground, followed by golden patterns silently rising from the earth, forming a gilded cage that trapped him.  

Li nearly slammed face-first into the cage. A lock of his ink-black hair drifted forward, and the moment it touched the golden bars, it instantly turned to dust.  

—Had he crashed into it, half his body would’ve been ruined.  

Lou Changwang stormed over furiously. “Got you—!”  

Li Changsheng: “…”  

This golden cage looked exorbitantly expensive—likely a Magical Artifact of Spirit Grade or higher, the kind only major aristocratic families possessed. A single one could imprison any Cultivator below the Nascent Soul Realm.  

And this little brat had used it to capture a mere Mortal.  

What a waste.  

Every human and ghost on the long street turned to stare.  

Li Changsheng, now thoroughly outplayed, offered a far more sincere smile. “Young Lou, let’s talk this out. If those… Ghost Expelling Talismans didn’t work, I can refund you. No need for violence.”  

“Fine,” Lou sneered. “‘If ineffective, compensation of ten thousand taels.’ I bought twenty talismans, confidently charged into a den of vengeful ghosts, and nearly died—plus, I lost nine Spirit Grade artifacts in the process. Master, care to calculate how much you owe me? Pay up now, and I’ll let you go.”  

Li Changsheng: “…”  

Seeing Li too broke to speak, Lou scoffed. “Fraud! Charlatan! If you can’t pay, then you’re a swindler. Today, this *uninducted* clerk of the Bureau of Tribulation Transference will rid the world of evil!”  

Li blinked, humbly inquiring, “Can one be called a clerk before induction?”  

Lou stiffened for a second before fiercely unsheathing his Spirit Sword, voice cracking with rage. “If not for your fake talismans, I’d have already joined the Bureau by slaying those ghosts! Once I capture you today and uphold justice for the Heavenly Dao, they’ll *beg* me to join—carry me in on a palanquin if they have to! Waaah—”  

Li Changsheng: “…”  

Ah. He’s throwing a tantrum now.  

Just as Li racked his brain for an escape, gasps erupted from the surrounding crowd.  

“Magpie Edict Delivery!”  

Lou jolted, immediately forgetting Li as he craned his neck, eyes wide with anticipation.  

Only the Bureau of Tribulation Transference used Magpie Edicts.  

Could it be that this conman’s crimes were so severe that the Bureau had sent a magpie to *respectfully* invite him as a clerk?  

Lou brightened.  

A pitch-black magpie soared overhead, scattering firefly-like radiance as it passed, a funeral decree embroidered with golden patterns clamped in its beak—bearing the Heavenly Dao’s bestowed Golden Merit.  

The crowd gasped.  

Such extravagance?!  

This didn’t seem like the Bureau, that den of penniless workaholics.  

The magpie fluttered gracefully toward Lou.  

No longer crying or wailing, Lou eagerly stretched out his hand, ready to receive the Bureau’s Clerk Decree.  

But the Bureau’s decrees were usually black—why was this one gold?

Before Lou Changwang could ponder further, the crow let out a sharp cry as it flew past his fingertips. The weighty mourning decree brushed against his fingers before missing him entirely.

Lou Changwang froze.

The icy touch still lingered on his fingertips. Amidst the gasps around him, he turned his head in a daze.

The crow’s form flickered like an illusion, silently passing through the golden cage before landing soundlessly on a slender, jade-like hand.

Lou Changwang: “?”

Li Changsheng had originally planned to escape while Lou Changwang was distracted, but whether the crow was exhausted or simply blind, it flew straight toward him.

Instinctively raising his hand, the crow’s icy claws gripped his index finger as its beak opened, dropping the heavy mourning decree into his palm.

Li Changsheng tilted his head in confusion.

What is this?

Lou Changwang’s eyes nearly bulged out of his skull. “Impossible! How could the Bureau of Tribulation Transference appoint a charlatan as a clerk?”

The decree’s cover was snow-white, with the characters “Bureau of Tribulation Transference” scrawled in bold, gilded strokes along the edges—unmistakably authentic.

The Bureau specialized in exorcising Calamitous Spirits and vengeful ghosts across the realms of yin and yang. Established by the revered lord, it answered to no authority in the Nether Capital. Its Bureau Chief, chosen by the Heavenly Dao, held status equal to the master of the Nether Palace.

Li Changsheng was baffled.

Then, flames suddenly erupted from the crow—ghostly blue fire roaring to life in his palm. A sinister, icy wind whipped through, sending his long hair and wide sleeves billowing.

The rain-soaked yellow paper beneath his feet ignited, casting an eerie blue glow.

Li Changsheng’s heart lurched violently, a sense of foreboding settling over him.

Lou Changwang seemed to recognize something, his face paling instantly as his pupils trembled uncontrollably. “You—”

This was no ordinary Clerk Decree.

It was…

A knowledgeable voice murmured from the crowd, “A Bureau Chief Decree?”

“The Bureau’s new chief… has been chosen?”

“Does that mean…?”

Silence fell. Dozens of eyes locked onto the figure within the golden cage.

Li Changsheng stiffened slightly.

Wait.

The Bureau’s… new chief?

On the wall, a notice from the Nether Palace flapped violently in the wind—”Wanted: 16th Bureau Chief of Tribulation Transference. Bounty: 100,000 Spirit Stones”—before tearing loose and slapping against the golden cage.

The howling wind twisted into a distorted melody in Li Changsheng’s ears, morphing into the tune of “Defile, then kill, then defile again, then flog the corpse, then grind the bones to dust, then defile once more.”

Li Changsheng: “…………”

Author’s Note:

Li Changsheng: [Clown][Clown][Clown] Came for the drama, became the drama.

***

Story begins! [Confetti] Li Changsheng (shou) x Feng Hui (gong), younger gong.

A universally adored shou; gong’s appearances will be sparse early on.

PS: Only mutual pining between gong and shou. Side characters/villains may have one-sided interest in shou.