Chapter 5: Together, Just a Pile of Mud  

The Director Seal recognized its master. The weighty golden seal suddenly transformed into a streak of light that burrowed into the back of Li Changsheng’s hand, twisting into a flamboyant golden magpie tattoo.  

Li Changsheng: “…”  

Did the Nether Capital have a habit of imprinting random things onto people?  

But that wasn’t all. The black snake tattoo he had nearly forgotten suddenly slithered out from nowhere, its tail tipped with a red mole, and bared its fangs before taking a vicious bite at the magpie.  

The magpie immediately flapped its wings in panic, darting frantically across his fingers.  

The black snake gave chase relentlessly, determined to tear it apart.  

Li Changsheng: “…”  

A snake and a magpie tattoo were fighting on the back of his hand…  

The scene was so absurd that Li Changsheng almost laughed.  

The horde of vengeful spirits surrounding the Dragon God Temple had been thoroughly intimidated by this display of killing the chicken to scare the monkey. Even without reason, they understood the principle of survival and dared not advance another step, only lingering at the edges, drooling hungrily.  

With the spirits unable to enter the temple, Lou Changwang couldn’t impress Lord Yu with a grand display of skill. Disappointed, he sheathed his Spirit Sword and cast a resentful glance at Li Changsheng.  

He didn’t believe a mere mortal could sweep through such a horde alone and stubbornly assumed he must have used a Magical Artifact.  

“Which noble family are you from?” Lou Changwang asked warily. “Li? As far as I know, the only Li family in the Three Realms is the Sect Master of Guihan Sect, but his only son is exceptionally talented and isn’t named Changsheng. How exactly were you chosen by the Heavenly Dao?”  

Li Changsheng, tired of watching the snake and magpie fight, lowered his hand and adjusted his sleeve. At the question, his brow arched slightly. “Chosen by the Heavenly Dao?”  

Weren’t Directors of the Bureau of Tribulation Transference usually selected by the Nine Bureaus of Youdu?  

“You didn’t know?” Lou Changwang was green with envy. “The last person chosen by the Heavenly Dao was Shangheng Chongjun. Chongjun was born with Golden Core cultivation and entered the Dao Inquiry Academy as a teacher at just seventeen. Many of today’s great masters were once his students. And you… heh.”  

…At least you’re good-looking.  

Li Changsheng was startled to find himself compared to the lofty Chongjun of Snow Jade Capital. He immediately responded modestly, “Thank you, thank you.”  

Lou Changwang: “…”  

Who was praising you?!  

Lou Changwang was about to say more when Yu Qingjian suddenly spoke. “Lou Yao, retract your ‘Cocooning.'”  

Lou Changwang instantly forgot what he was about to say and whistled. The Magical Artifact, Cocooning, transformed into five golden needles that silently rose from the ground and slipped back into his hair.  

Li Changsheng studied Yu Qingjian’s expression. “What’s wrong? Can the Seal not be repaired?”  

Yu Qingjian’s frown deepened. “Something’s off.”  

Chongjun’s Seal had clearly been fully restored with eight corners, yet it was missing something. The Calamitous Spirit beneath still stirred restlessly, and the Seal flickered with golden light as if it might shatter at any moment.  

In the centuries since Shang Heng’s fall, the Bureau of Tribulation Transference had repaired many of the Seals he left behind, but none had been like this one.  

It seemed what lay beneath was no ordinary Calamitous Spirit.  

Yu Qingjian narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing the formation as if he had discovered something.  

The statue.  

That ugly snake statue wasn’t just the formation’s core—it must contain a spiritual object.  

The whip in Yu Qingjian’s hair lashed out abruptly, Spiritual Power shattering the statue in an instant. The stone crumbled into dust, revealing a radiant jade sword within.  

Yu Qingjian’s pupils constricted.  

Li Changsheng, who had been contemplating how to remain a good-for-nothing, was also startled by the flash of cyan light and frowned as he looked over.

Lou Changwang stared blankly, murmuring, “That’s… Shangheng Chongjun’s Mountain Ghost.”

Mountain Ghost.

Shang Heng held a noble status, having studied under Snow Jade Capital, and possessed countless Spirit Swords and Magical Artifacts.  

Yet this Mountain Ghost was no ordinary blade.  

During Chong Jun’s tenure teaching at the Dao Inquiry Academy, he often wielded Mountain Ghost as a disciplinary ruler, striking students until the proud young talents would wail at the mere sight of it. Then one day, the sword vanished without a trace, leaving the academy in celebration for days.  

Everyone had assumed Mountain Ghost had long shattered into dust. No one expected it to be here, suppressing a Calamitous Spirit.  

Yu Qingjian’s expression darkened further.  

A Calamitous Spirit that required Shang Heng to seal it with Mountain Ghost was no trivial matter.  

Lou Changwang’s eyes sparkled with excitement as he edged closer, eager to examine the legendary sword he had only read about in texts.  

But the blade hovered midair, pulsing with azure light, as if fiercely rejecting any approach. Before Lou Changwang could get near, it abruptly released a surge of Spiritual Power—  

*Smack!*  

With practiced precision, it struck him.  

Lou Changwang: “…”  

Clutching his reddened hand, his face flushed with exhilaration, he nearly jumped for joy. “I got whipped by Chong Jun’s Mountain Ghost too!”  

Li Changsheng: “?”  

Yu Qingjian’s brows furrowed tightly. He swiftly moved to thrust the hovering Mountain Ghost back into the seal’s focal point, but the sword seemed sentient—refusing to return to its post with stubborn defiance.  

*Clang! Clang!*  

The fierce gales from Mountain Ghost nearly severed Yu Qingjian’s long whip.  

Just then, the ground trembled violently, as if something colossal writhed beneath the thin surface. The Seal could no longer withstand the violent tremors and shattered abruptly, unleashing a plume of inky mist.  

The earth churned like stormy waves. Li Changsheng, devoid of Spiritual Power, nearly toppled over—  

When suddenly, an icy hand, cold as a gust from the underworld, steadied him with surprising gentleness.  

Li Changsheng staggered upright, frowning as he glanced back.  

There was no one behind him.  

Had it been an illusion?  

*Thud.*  

Yu Qingjian stated grimly, “The Calamitous Spirit is out.”  

Lou Changwang, tossed by the upheaval, landed face-first on the ground with a resounding *thud*, kneeling in full prostration as he clutched his face, sniffling.  

—That *thud* had been the sound of the Young Master meeting the earth head-on.  

Yu Qingjian remained unflappable, his whip coiling like a serpent behind him, exuding an air of unwavering reliability.  

If even a Ghost Messenger from the Nether Palace could be struck by him, what threat could a mere Calamitous Spirit pose…  

Just as Li Changsheng thought this, the black mist let out a piercing shriek—locking onto him—and lunged with terrifying speed.  

Li Changsheng recoiled instinctively.  

This Calamitous Spirit was far swifter than any vengeful ghost. At the critical moment, Yu Qingjian’s whip lashed out, coiling around Li Changsheng’s waist and hurling him aside.  

Li Changsheng spun three or four times before barely regaining his footing.  

Before he could voice his admiration—*As expected of Lord Yu*—another *thud* echoed as a figure crashed like a loosed arrow into the half-collapsed wall.  

With a deafening crash, the wall crumbled.  

Yu Qingjian lay sprawled in the rubble, clutching his chest as he coughed up a mouthful of blood.  

Li Changsheng: “…………”  

After a long silence, Li Changsheng parted his lips slightly, words caught in his throat.  

Yu Qingjian wiped the blood from his mouth with his thumb, his usual composed facade shattered as he snapped coldly, “What’s with that look—? In the Bureau of Tribulation Transference, I oversee punishment and records, specializing in interrogations! Isn’t it normal that I can’t fight?!”  

Li Changsheng: “?”  

If you can’t fight, at least don’t pretend otherwise.

Li Changsheng humbly inquired, “Then why didn’t you use the ‘Spirit Attachment’ technique you employed earlier to draw out the Ghost Messenger from the Nether Palace?”

Yu Qingjian seemed to stiffen momentarily before rising expressionlessly. “The Director need not concern themselves with the affairs of the Bureau of Tribulation Transference. Please wait here.”

Li Changsheng: “Oh.”

Seems he’s reached the point of embarrassed anger.

Yu Qingjian’s face was like still water as he wielded his long whip against the swirling black mist.

Before Li Changsheng could find a proper hiding spot, Lord Yu became the second arrow loosed from a bow, crashing embarrassingly before him once more.

Li Changsheng: “?”

Lord Yu?!

Yu Qingjian had now reached peak mortification: “This Calamitous Spirit was suppressed using Chong Jun’s Mountain Ghost—even a deputy envoy would struggle against it… What exactly is that look in your eyes?!”

Li Changsheng: “……..”

As the two remained deadlocked, a streak of golden light suddenly shot from the distance.

Though not particularly skilled in combat, Yu Qingjian wielded his whip masterfully. Once again wrapping it around Li Changsheng’s waist, he flung the man against a wall with clear vindictiveness born of personal grievance.

Li Changsheng nearly face-planted, only saved from disfigurement by a timely gust of yin wind.

Clang! Clang!

Five golden needles embedded themselves in the ground, emitting crisscrossing threads of chaotic golden light.

Yu Qingjian frowned sharply and whirled around.

Lou Changwang stood not far away, his hair crown shattered and dark locks whipping wildly about. That naive, foolish face slowly twisted into a ferocious grin, his pupils flooding completely crimson.

“You… die.”

The words came haltingly, as if unaccustomed to speech, rasping and unpleasant.

Yu Qingjian’s heart sank.

The Calamitous Spirit had possessed Lou Changwang.

“Lou Changwang” stared fixedly at Li Changsheng, eyes brimming with boundless hatred. A whistle escaped his lips—the golden needles, now under his control, no longer formed protective cages but transformed into razor-sharp blades shooting toward Li Changsheng.

Yu Qingjian lunged forward, dragging him up to the Dragon God Temple’s rafters in a single leap.

With the spirit now possessing a host, Yu Qingjian pinched his nose in reluctant resignation. “Chong Jun’s Spirit Attachment can only be used once per day. Since you’ve inherited the Director Seal, you’re now part of the Bureau. Listen carefully—I’ll draw him away while you activate the Spirit Attachment array within the Director Seal to perform the liberation rite.”

Having delivered these terse instructions, Yu Qingjian leapt down without hesitation.

Li Changsheng: “…”

Wait, what’s the Spirit Attachment array?

As “Lou Changwang” thrust his sword forward, Yu Qingjian barely dodged, his whip coiling around the spirit’s clawed hands reaching for Li Changsheng. Seeing no movement from above, he frowned and called up, “The Director Seal resides in your consciousness. Close your eyes and seek it mentally—summon the Spirit Attachment array first.”

With danger pressing so urgently, Li Changsheng closed his eyes to perceive the Director Seal within his mind.

Ah, there was indeed an array.

Acting on instinct, Li Changsheng swiftly formed hand seals. A golden array silently materialized.

BANG!

Yu Qingjian, mid-dodge from the spirit’s attack, suddenly found his body frozen. Countless chains materialized, binding his limbs and throat, forcing his knees to buckle unexpectedly. He dropped into a full kowtow before “Lou Changwang.”

Yu Qingjian: “…”

Calamitous Spirit: “……..”

The long-imprisoned spirit, its mind addled, seemed unprepared for an opponent suddenly prostrating in mid-battle. It froze momentarily.

Yu Qingjian restrained himself once, twice, before finally snapping: “Why did you activate the Hex Suppression Command? Trying to speed up my demise?”

Li Changsheng: “Well…”

Li Changsheng, hanging from the beam, frantically searched for a solution within the Director Seal before casting another array.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Outside the Dragon God’s temple, the Masked Ghosts carrying a sedan chair with grunts and groans hadn’t even stepped inside when they suddenly let out muffled cries, prostrating themselves in perfect unison, performing a synchronized kowtow.

Li Changsheng: “???”

Yu Qingjian was nearly laughing in exasperation.

He had been too hasty in his judgment.

He had initially thought this man had come to revive the Bureau of Tribulation Transference, but it turned out he was here to shovel dirt onto its grave.

The Director Seal of the Bureau had never held many talismanic inscriptions to begin with. After his third attempt, Li Changsheng finally located the intricate Spirit Attachment array.

A golden talismanic script suddenly surged from the back of his hand, transforming into intricate patterns that coiled around his body, spinning incessantly. The golden light reflected in his pitch-black eyes, revealing flecks of shattered orange glow.

The script was formed from a few wildly dancing characters, twisted as if imbued with the divine authority bestowed by the Heavenly Dao, inspiring awe in those who beheld it.

—”Bestowed by the Jade Capital, Balancing Virtue to Transcend Tribulation.”

That was the Talisman Prophecy granted by the Heavenly Dao upon Du Shangheng’s birth.

The moment these eight characters appeared, the Calamitous Spirit instinctively shuddered.

Its fear of Du Shangheng seemed etched into its bones. Even though Chong Jun had perished three hundred years ago, merely glimpsing the prophecy sent a chill creeping from the depths of its soul.

Yu Qingjian exhaled silently, struggling to lift his head and look.

Once the Spirit Attachment array was summoned, everything would be—

A fierce gust of wind swept past.

Silence fell.

The three of them stared at each other, wide-eyed, as the Spirit Attachment array dimmed without a sound.

Shangheng Chongjun’s Spirit Attachment had not been summoned at all.

Yu Qingjian froze for a long moment before uttering in disbelief, “…Impossible!”

Seeing Yu Qingjian’s expression of despair, as if he had just lost a parent, Li Changsheng was baffled. “What?”

“Chong Jun didn’t attach his spirit to you?” Yu Qingjian’s gaze was almost hostile, his eyes nearly bleeding. “Even the most heinous sinners of the Bureau were treated impartially by Chong Jun—never showing favoritism. You… why couldn’t you summon the Spirit Attachment?”

Li Changsheng: “?”

The Calamitous Spirit snapped back to reality, leaping onto the beam and slamming Li Changsheng down with a single palm strike.

A crisp sound, like the cracking of porcelain glaze, echoed as the Mountain Ghost at the center of the array seemed to stir.

Li Changsheng landed hard, nearly coughing up a lung, before scrambling to his feet and bolting.

Yu Qingjian, unable to move, ignored his own peril and continued to demand harshly, “How could someone despised by Chong Jun become the Bureau’s Director?! Who exactly are you!?”

The Calamitous Spirit’s Spirit Sword came slashing down.

Li Changsheng dodged in a flash, narrowly avoiding disaster by kicking the spirit in the abdomen.

Seeing Yu Qingjian still in the throes of his breakdown, Li Changsheng panted between strides as he ran. “Wonderful, Lord Yu! Now’s the perfect time—both of us are free to swat flies. I’ll just grab a chair, brew some fine tea, and regale you with the tale of my origins. When I was three years old… urgh!”

Yu Qingjian: “…………”

Author’s Note:

The moment a toxic stan’s worldview shatters.

Individually, they’re invincible; together, they’re a hot mess. [x