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Shen Ning tried to sit up and found her body felt much lighter, as if years of accumulated filth had been washed away, leaving an indescribable sense of ease.
Ji Yucang ordered Shi Qin and Shi Qi to bring water in to attend to her, then turned to Shen Ning. “Wash up first. The nourishing soup is ready. Have a little later to replenish your blood and qi.”
Shen Ning stared at him for a moment, her brows slightly furrowed. “Why do I feel like a woman who just gave birth?”
Ji Yucang paused, his expression unchanged. “Unfortunately, after two months of marriage to me, my lady is still a virgin, far from giving birth.”
Shen Ning’s brows furrowed slightly. “Aren’t you supposed to be childless for life? How can I give birth? Should I have a child with another man and let you be the ready-made father?”
“…That won’t be necessary.” Ji Yucang was momentarily speechless. “I have no obsession with children.”
Shi Qin entered with two maids, one carrying water and the other holding clothes.
Ji Yucang stepped back a few paces, allowing Shi Qin and the others to help Shen Ning with her washings. Throughout the process, his eyes never left Shen Ning, fearing she might be too weak and fall out of bed.
Once the washing was done, the maids withdrew.
Shi Qi entered with the nourishing soup. “The temperature is just right. Please drink it while it’s hot, Your Highness.”
Shen Ning dried her hands, feeling a strong, fragrant aroma wafting towards her, and an odd thought crossed her mind.
Although she appeared to be in confinement after childbirth, her body, which had not experienced childbirth, had a higher acceptance of the aroma of food and did not feel nauseated by the smell.
Unaware of her fleeting thought, Ji Yucang took the bowl and sat down in a chair by the bed, feeding Shen Ning one spoonful at a time.
As Shen Ning ate, she surveyed the room and realized they had returned to the Golden Courtyard. She must have been carried here by Ji Yucang while she was asleep.
“Did you stay with me all afternoon?” Shen Ning asked.
Ji Yucang hummed in acknowledgment, focusing on feeding her.
Shen Ning said calmly, “How about your own body? Any discomfort?”
Ji Yucang instinctively shook his head, but meeting Shen Ning’s calm gaze, he told the truth. “I felt a bit tired this afternoon, so I lay here and slept for half an hour. After waking up, I felt much better.”
Shen Ning knew he was downplaying the truth.
Detoxification was never a comfortable process, especially since the poison in his body was so tricky. Last month, when he used silver needles to expel some of the poison, he had to sleep for half a day. This time, the detoxification process forced the poison out from the marrow of his bones, akin to scraping the bone to heal a wound.
However, Shen Ning was aware that Ji Yucang could endure pain.
Moreover, they were now in a situation where neither could criticize the other, they were both in a difficult position, and neither was in a good state.
After finishing a bowl of soup, Shen Ning broke out in a sweat again. She was eager to bathe, to soak in a hot bath and change into fresh clothes.
It would be even better if the bath could be sprinkled with fresh petals.
However, before she could voice her request, Ji Yucang spoke first, as if he knew what she was thinking.
“You’re still weak, so you can’t bathe yet.” He said, his expression slightly hesitant. “How about I ask Shi Qin to bring some hot water over for you to wipe down?”
Shen Ning was about to speak but swallowed her words.
Ji Yucang got up to call for Shi Qin to bring the water.
By the time Shen Ning was all cleaned up, another half hour had passed, and much of the night had unknowingly slipped away.
After changing into a new set of clothes, Shen Ning leaned against the headboard. “Aren’t you going to sleep?”
Ji Yucang looked at her, his lips pressed together. “I want to stay here tonight.”
Shen Ning raised an eyebrow. “Taking advantage of someone in distress?”
Ji Yucang reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “If you see it that way, I won’t deny it.”
She was indeed at her most vulnerable now. If he insisted on staying here, she wouldn’t be able to resist, so it did have a hint of taking advantage of the situation.
Shen Ning asked, “Will you be attending court tomorrow morning?”
Ji Yucang shook his head.
Shen Ning frowned. “Nothing to do at court?”
“There’s a lot to do, but it’s all been arranged.” Ji Yucang said steadily, always seeming to be in control. “The Nan Dynasty envoys are being handled by Xie Tinglan, other matters are being managed by Yan Qingchen and the various department heads. Supplies are being gathered, I’ve ordered Chu Yunxiao to intensify training in the army, weapons are being replaced as needed, and horses are being added. Once all the equipment is ready, we’ll only be waiting for you to recover before we can march on Nan Dynasty.”
Shen Ning was silent for a long time before saying, “Ji Yucang, I’ve been thinking these past few days. Your troops only listen to you, so it’s not appropriate for me to lead them.”
“There’s nothing inappropriate about it.” Ji Yucang said. “If I listen to you, then the generals under my command will naturally—”
“I’m not worried about that.” Shen Ning said with a faint smile. “As I told you before, I don’t like war and have no desire for military glory. My ambitions and vision are nowhere near those of Princess Pingyao. Besides, a commander needs time to bond with their troops, and I don’t want to waste so much time.”
Some things, if meaningful, should be pursued even if they are difficult. However, using military power and the fate of soldiers to achieve someone’s glory is completely unnecessary.
Ji Yucang remained silent, quietly feeding her a bowl of nourishing food. After placing the bowl aside, he lowered his gaze and said, “You’re reluctant to strike against the Nan Dynasty soldiers because many of them might have once been under your command.”
Soldiers protect their country, whether they are high-ranking generals or nameless foot soldiers, they are all part of the army.
A ruler can kill a general, seize military power, and disrupt or even eliminate some of the general’s close subordinates, but it is impossible to kill everyone in the army. Therefore, those surviving foot soldiers may have already served under several different generals.
They have no say in the matter, only loyalty and obedience to their commanders, and an unwavering commitment to protecting their country.
Shen Ning’s targets for revenge were clear, but she couldn’t personally kill the soldiers who once followed her orders, as there is a proper target for every grievance.
Her enemies were only Han Rong and the Nan Dynasty Emperor, unrelated to anyone else. She had fought on the battlefield for seven years and understood the soldiers’ helplessness better than anyone.
“Human nature is such a complex thing.” Shen Ning sighed softly. “Hatred can make people lose their reason, obliterate their conscience, and disregard everything in pursuit of revenge. But often, it is only after revenge has been taken that one realizes creating so much slaughter for the sake of revenge is far from a joyful thing.”
Ji Yucang was silent for a moment before slowly taking her hand. “My lady’s kindness and benevolence are innate, always spontaneously showing compassion for the innocence of all living beings, making me feel ashamed of myself.”