Chapter 113: When Did You Start Liking Me?

However, she was glad that this way of speaking at least avoided directly answering the question of whether to “repay with body”.

The interruption caused by Gu Yanran’s suicide attempt prevented Ji Yucang from pursuing the matter further, but Shen Ning herself couldn’t help but start pondering.

Although she wasn’t keen on dwelling on this question.

Because the lessons from the past were too harsh, she didn’t want to invest too much energy in romantic relationships. The depths of her heart had already rejected the belief in true love, yet Ji Yucang insisted on challenging her perceptions.

And when he made his move, it was with a powerful force.

Not a slow, steady stream, not a gradual approach.

He directly bet his lifespan and offspring, leaving her no room for doubt or resistance.

Shen Ning always thought of herself as a decisive person, never one to hesitate or be indecisive, but Ji Yucang…

“What are you thinking about?” Ji Yucang spoke from where he was buried in her neck, his voice lazy, with a hint of seduction that was hard to detect, “Are you confused because of my presence, or are you thinking about how to reject me?”

Shen Ning wanted to turn her head, but she was held too tightly, “Let go first.”

Ji Yucang loosened his arms slightly and looked up at her: “Aren’t you going to sleep yet?”

Shen Ning: “…” She needed to be able to fall asleep first.

He was holding her as tightly as a bear, how could she sleep?

“I just…” Ji Yucang seemed to want to explain his behavior, but the words that reached his lips turned into a wry smile, “I just wanted to try this feeling.”

He had missed her for too long, fantasized about her for too long.

After their marriage, worried about scaring her or making her guarded, he didn’t dare easily enter the bedchamber.

So much so that now, with her in his arms, he had to repeatedly confirm if it was real—the warmth of the woman in his arms, her being alive, the sensation—all real. Countless nights, so many desires, had finally become a reality, giving him an unbelievable sense of unreality.

He urgently needed to feel the truth, to reassure himself, to the point where he momentarily forgot that she was still weak.

“Ji Yucang.” Shen Ning felt that sleep was unlikely tonight and decided to talk to him, “I won’t go back on my word to you, so you don’t need to be so anxious. I just want to ask you a question.”

“Go ahead.”

“When did you start liking me?” Shen Ning asked seriously, “I don’t remember having much interaction with you. How did you suddenly start liking me? And…”

Ji Yucang asked softly: “Do you believe in love at first sight?”

Shen Ning fell silent.

Love at first sight?

She wanted to say she didn’t believe in it.

Love at first sight was nothing more than being attracted to someone’s appearance, it was understanding each other’s temperament over time that led to true affection. But reality had slapped her hard in the face.

The more you knew about someone, the more likely you were to fall into their trap, unable to see the truth, deceived by appearances.

She had known Han Rong for quite some time, but so what?

She couldn’t even be sure now whether he was naturally like that or if, after she went to the battlefield and they grew older, he gradually realized the importance of power and status, which slowly changed his nature. Or perhaps it was because he heard too much gossip, thinking that his influence was due to her military achievements, leading to a sense of inferiority and the subsequent ungrateful, selfish, and cold behavior.

At the beginning, they were both just innocent youths.

The so-called childhood sweethearts, understanding each other, were probably based only on a presumptuous understanding.

And Ji Yucang’s love at first sight…

Shen Ning asked: “When did you see me?”

“On a battlefield five years ago.” Ji Yucang’s voice was low, as if recalling the initial glimpse that had taken his breath away, “You were clad in armor, leading the charge… like the most dazzling sun under a clear sky, making it impossible for me to restrain my heart…”

Shen Ning frowned, remaining silent.

She couldn’t imagine this feeling. She had thought it would be a more dramatic process, or that she had saved his life without knowing, which was why he was so devoted. She didn’t expect it to be just a chance meeting on the battlefield.

Shen Ning couldn’t help but doubt: “Just like that?”

“Mm. Later, I went to Nan Dynasty once, intending to propose a marriage alliance with Nan Dynasty, to marry you as my queen and achieve friendly relations between our two countries.” Ji Yucang closed his eyes, recalling the moment he saw her without her armor in the palace, so proud and radiant. But you already had a childhood sweetheart, and your relationship was good. You planned to marry after the war ended. I had to give up the idea, worried that a forced marriage would separate you from the one you loved, worried that you would hate me…”

He had to suppress these feelings, not daring to reveal them in the slightest.

Because he understood a man’s possessive desire for the woman he loved. No man could tolerate his wife being coveted by another. He didn’t want to cause her trouble or create discord between them.

But this misguided decision led to him being completely unaware of her news, especially after she married. He gave up all hope and didn’t dare to inquire further about their marital bliss.

And at that time, the previous Emperor was on his deathbed. He led his troops back from the border to the capital. When he heard news of her again, she hadn’t appeared in public for over a year, which made him extremely uneasy.

An ominous premonition made it impossible for him to consider the urgent situation in the capital. He sent numerous people to Nan Dynasty to find out the truth. It was that mobilization that led to the previous Emperor’s dissatisfaction with his troop movements, worried that after his death, Ji Yucang would become too powerful, and the young Emperor would not be his match, which led to him being poisoned.

Ji Yucang was aware of the poisoning. He willingly drank the poisoned wine to buy himself more time.

Yong Kingdom and Nan Dynasty were far apart, and the transmission of messages was too slow. Meanwhile, the previous Emperor’s condition worsened. He calculated every move in his final moments, worried about interference from relatives, fearing the Empress Dowager’s influence, women bringing disaster to the country, and also worried about Ji Yucang’s rebellion. He wished to use even cats and dogs as pawns in his schemes.

Unfortunately, in the end, it was all in vain.

Ji Yucang embraced Shen Ning’s slender body, telling her about the events of those years without any concealment, leaving Shen Ning with a complex mix of emotions.

“One can only say that fate is fickle.” Shen Ning turned around to face him, lying side by side, “Everything you said is right. Even if you had proposed a marriage alliance back then, I probably wouldn’t have agreed. So, all the suffering was what I was destined to endure.”

But at this moment, she couldn’t help but feel both heartache and irony.

A stranger who had only met her twice could see through her temperament, understand her choices, and not want to cause her distress. Even though she had learned a lesson she would never forget, she still understood that even if Ji Yucang had made a different choice back then, she would still have chosen to be with Han Rong.

At that time, she had never imagined marrying anyone else.

This was the tribulation she was destined to face, she couldn’t blame anyone.

But Ji Yucang…

Shen Ning finally understood why someone like Ji Yucang would also be poisoned.

How could he be defenseless? He was fully aware but had no other choice.

Shen Ning leaned against his shoulder: “Before the previous Emperor passed away, the capital was under lockdown. He would summon civil and military officials daily to discuss his final arrangements, yet you were frequently moving troops at that time. No wonder he became suspicious of you.”

But even with suspicion, the previous Emperor had no choice but to resort to poisoning to buy his son two years of time. This was enough to prove that besides Ji Yucang, there were no other capable generals in Yong Kingdom.

Or rather, all the capable generals were under Ji Yucang’s command, and no one else was worthy of the previous Emperor entrusting the empire to them.

Shen Ning’s voice was complex: “Wouldn’t it have been better if you had just rebelled against him?”

Ji Yucang remained silent.

Shen Ning didn’t seem to care about the answer and closed her eyes, leaning against his shoulder.

Before long, she fell into a deep, beautiful dream.

Ji Yucang gazed down at her sleeping face, silent for a long time, then carefully leaned over and kissed her forehead.

Why didn’t he rebel directly?

Because it would have been unjustified, leading to internal strife within the royal family. He would have had to spend time appeasing court officials, leaving him no time to search for a way to defy fate.

Fortunately, everything was in the past.

Misfortune had turned into prosperity.

All the past storms had become a dream, and for the rest of their lives, they would have the final say in this world.

They could rebel if they wanted, usurp the throne if they desired, or remain as Regents, letting the young Emperor sit on the puppet throne until his death.