Translated by Novice Translations 

Proofread by Fries at 2am 

Arc 4: Fireproof, Burglarproof, Friendzone Proof – 8 

“I Heard It Feels Good to the Touch, Why Don’t You Try It?” 

　　Ji Linxi was having a difficult time believing Ke Li’s words. Especially since it’s common to hear I like you between girls. She seriously said: “Tell me, who do you actually like? Don’t joke around with me.”  

　　 

　　In fact, no matter who Ke Li likes, she felt uncomfortable. 

　　 

　　Ke Li shrugged helplessly and said: “I said I liked you the most. It’s a pity that you don’t believe me. Don’t regret it later then.” 

　　 

　　”…” There’s a reason why Ji Linxi couldn’t believe Ke Li. Ke Li’s current expression looked like she was joking.  

　　 

　　And they’ve been together for such a long time. If Ke Li really likes her, she would have already confessed. It wasn’t necessary to wait until now. If she had a secret crush, then it should have continued as a secret crush. There was no reason to say it now.  

　　 

　　After some deduction, Ji Linxi felt relaxed. She met Ke Li’s eyes, hugged Ke Li, and said, “Okay, since you like me the most then remember to follow me in the future. You’re not allowed to like others or let others kiss you.”  

　　 

　　After all, she still cares about Zhou Lingling’s kiss. 

　　 

　　Ke Li took advantage of this and clung onto Ji Linxi’s body. She said with a smile, “Ji Linxi, you won’t let me do anything. Are you going to raise me?”   

　　 

　　”En, I’ll raise you.” Ji Linxi said seriously: “After all, in winter you can be used to warm up the bed. Only those who are chubby and fat will have calories and heat.”  

　　 

　　Ke Li: “…” 

　　 

　　Even if raised casually, she didn’t have the physique to get fat anyway.  

　　 

　　After talking about this, Ji Linxi’s mood suddenly brightened, and she looked at the pedestrians passing by her. There were many people with long legs among them, but she had no special feelings when she looked at them.  

　　 

　　She leaned her head to Ke Li’s ear and said, “I found out I’m still straight as a steel pipe.”  

　　 

　　Ke Li: “…” 

　　 

　　”Are you sure?” 

　　 

　　Ji Linxi whispered: “En, look at that long-haired woman wearing a suit in front of us, is she a celebrity? Just looking at her back, I think she has a good figure, but I only appreciate it. I don’t have any messy thoughts.”  

　　 

　　”…” Ke Li said speechlessly: “If it’s just appreciation, then what’s the difference between that and those lewd men who secretly want to masturbate?” It’s precisely because you appreciate women at a glance that you’re more likely to bend.  

　　 

　　Ji Linxi was noncommittal and strangely said, “You know this well?” 

　　 

　　Since Ji Linxi decided that she was still straight, Ke Li didn’t want to say it first. Anyway, she doesn’t want to break the current relationship so she randomly said, “How can I ah? All my experience is like a brush writing military tactics on paper. It’s nothing more than that so it doesn’t count.” [mfn] So, basically its an idiom of its easy to talk about what you’re going to do but harder to actually execute it.[/mfn] 

　　 

　　Ji Linxi affirmed once more: “Then I’m still straight.” 

　　 

　　Ke Li: “…” 

　　 

　　It was only 11 o’clock when they returned to Ji Linxi’s house. Unlike Ji Linxi, Ke Li didn’t go back to their room as soon as she returned. Instead, she was ready to have a good relationship with her future mother-in-law. After all, sooner or later, she will come out. She has no experience on coming out in modern times. [mfn] Arc 2 doesn’t count since that society openly accepts homosexual marriages[/mfn] 

　　 

　　Mother Ji’s life was very monotonous. She watches shows, takes care of the children, and cooks. Also, Ji Wendong was only seven months old so she didn’t have time to relax at all.  

　　 

　　Ke Li asked: “Auntie, can I hold him?”  

　　 

　　In fact, little Ji Wendong looks very cute. He looks like a fleshy dumpling. Ke Li didn’t have feelings for children before. But ever since she became an immortal baby, she started to care about children.  

　　 

　　Mother Ji held Ji Wendong and gave him to Ke Li, then reminded: “You should support his head so he doesn’t get hurt.”  

　　 

　　“Okay.” Ke Li trembled while she held Ji Wendong because she was afraid that she would hurt him at first. Then became much at ease later.  

　　 

　　………… 

　　 

　　Ji Linxi waited upstairs for half a day and didn’t see Ke Li, so she came down to have a look. As a result, she found Ke Li was holding Ji Wendong in a strange posture.  

　　 

　　She frowned slightly: “Why are you holding him?” 

　　 

　　Ke Li pouted her lips: “Auntie said she will make delicious food for me and to hold him. You see him spit bubbles, isn’t it amusing?”  

　　 

　　Ji Linxi: “…” 

　　 

　　Didn’t they just eat? 

　　 

　　Ji Linxi glanced at him reluctantly. Ji Wendong was held in Ke Li’s arms. His eyes were dark and stared at her. He was drooling with his mouth open and spitting bubbles.  

　　 

　　She said: “It’s really amusing after a while.” 

　　 

　　”…” Ke Li glared at Ji Linxi when she recalled the previous world’s awkward incident and said: “You’re not allowed to be the crow’s beak.” [mfn] Be the person who makes an inauspicious remark.[/mfn] 

　　 

　　Ji Linxi closed her mouth wisely, sat down beside Ke Li, and looked at Ji Wendong from time to time. She saw that he was sucking his fingers and said, “Does he want to drink milk?”   

　　 

　　This was the first time she cared so much about Ji Wendong and found that she didn’t hate her younger brother at all.  

　　 

　　She didn’t like Ji Wendong in the beginning because Mother Ji didn’t take care of her own body. She knew it was very risky to have children at her age, but she still wanted to have a child.  

　　 

　　Now she found that children were quite amusing, probably because of Ke Li. 

　　 

　　“It looks like he’s really hungry.” Ke Li looked around and blurted out to Ji Linxi, “The bottle in on the coffee table, grab it quickly.”  

　　 

　　Ji Linxi took it and tested the temperature. She found that the temperature was a little cold. So, she placed it in hot water and warmed it up before she handed it to Ke Li.  

　　 

　　Ke Li picked it up and said, “It’s really convenient to use a bottle. You can drink it on your back and you don’t have to be afraid of spilling it on the bed.”  

　　 

　　”……” Ji Linxi suddenly thought of something and didn’t speak. She just stared at Ke Li as she fed Ji Wendong. When the sound of cooking stopped in the kitchen, she immediately sat up and didn’t look at Ji Wendong anymore.   

　　 

　　As soon as Mother Ji came out, she saw that Ji Linxi ignored her youngest son and felt a little lost in her heart. She took Ji Wendong over and said, “Let me feed him, go eat.”  

　　 

　　Ji Linxi glanced at Ke Li and said, “I’ve eaten, a certain foodie can eat alone.”  

　　 

　　Ke Li: “…” 

　　 

　　Because she was worried that Ke Li wouldn’t take the child and Father Ji wouldn’t come home until noon, Mother Ji only made a few appetizers. Ke Li waited for Mother Ji so they could eat together. She wasn’t pressured to eat, rather it seems that she really does have a heavy appetite to eat good food. She ate until she was about to burst.  

　　 

　　Ke Li helped cleaned up the dishes before going upstairs. She weighed herself and gained more than 1kg, a little more than her original weight. It was strange considering she ate so much.  

　　 

　　She didn’t have a physique that tends to get fat.  

　　 

　　Ke Li was finally relieved. She saw that Ji Linxi was listening to music again and didn’t disturb her. She laid on the couch and browsed Weibo. When her stomach felt more comfortable, she wanted to go to sleep with Ji Linxi. After all, they had classes again tomorrow, so she has to hurry and sleep.  

　　 

　　“Sleep right after eating, you’re not afraid of getting fat, ah?” Ji Linxi laid beside Ke Li. She really felt she was getting lazy, but it was better than when she used to apply powder on her face before.  

　　 

　　“I won’t. Go to bed. I didn’t sleep well last night and I spent the entire morning with Zhou Lingling. I’m so exhausted.” Ke Li covered her mouth and yawned. She threw her cellphone to the side and fell asleep holding Ji Linxi.  

　　 

　　Ji Linxi silently looked at Ke Li’s increasingly restless hands and head, then finally got out of bed.  

　　 

　　When Ke Li woke up, she was the only one in bed. Ji Linxi disappeared. She didn’t think much about it. She took her cellphone and brushed her teeth while browsing Weibo. [mfn] Weibo is like Twitter/Instagram/Facebook[/mfn] 

　　 

　　She was brushing when she saw Ji Linxi standing behind her through the mirror as if she was trying to scare her. She pretended she didn’t see her and continued to brush her teeth.  

　　 

　　Ji Linxi put her hands behind her back and ordered with a smile, “A’Yu, close your eyes.”  

　　 

　　Is there a surprise? 

　　 

　　Ke Li immediately rinsed her mouth and wash off the toothpaste foam on her lips. She closed her eyes obediently then heard a quiet voice, then something soft on her lips… 

　　 

　　”…” Ke Li subconsciously sucked on it and immediately discovered something was wrong and opened her eyes.  

　　 

　　As soon as she opened her eyes, she saw a nipple in front of her. Obviously, the thing she just kissed was a nipple. She looked down and there were two handles on a bottle. It smelled like milk and said, “Creative Adult Insulation Cup”. [mfn] So, I was going to use the word pacifier but that’s not right. If you look at a milk bottle anatomy chart, the part she sucked is called the nipple.[/mfn] 

　　 

　　Ke Li: “…” 

　　 

　　Ji Linxi hurriedly explained: “This is what I saw in school before. It said it’s very convenient to drink at night. You can suck on it and won’t have to worry about spills on the bed.” 

　　 

　　Ke Li: “…” 

　　 

　　Ji Linxi raised an eyebrow and said: “I heard it feels good to the touch and there’s no smell. Why don’t you try it?” 

　　 

　　As soon as Ke Li saw the thermos, she thought of Ji Wendong’s bottle. Then, ‘hehe’ and played dumb: “Actually compared to this, I still prefer…” It’s true. [mfn] Probably say she still prefers a real nipple lol[/mfn]  

　　 

　　But she didn’t dare say.