Chapter 36

After dinner with Yang Yunran, it was 9:30 in the evening when Jiang Yi dropped him off at home and accompanied him for a walk with his dog nearby. Jiang Yi returned to his apartment by 10:30.

Tomorrow, Yang Yunran plans to take him to an institution for medical treatment, where they may undergo some psychological therapy and counseling.

Jiang Yi doesn’t want the doctor to tell Yang Yunran, “Well, your boyfriend’s sexual orientation is a bit uncertain, he has self-awareness issues, which is causing his psychological barriers. These barriers may gradually improve over time.”

Creating some deception for the psychologist wouldn’t be difficult. Jiang Yi hopes to attribute the reasons to either “lacking peers and playmates from a young age, living in a world more mature than his own” or “although young, experiencing rapid puberty development and always buying unsuitable underwear,” or “affected by pollen and seasonal changes in Boston” – any of these three casual reasons.

Of course, Jiang Yi also needs to establish an identity for himself.

For this purpose, Jiang Yi downloaded two self-descriptions written by actors, detailing what efforts they made to portray their roles in a certain gay film.

The translated file name is “What I Did to Play a Gay Role.”

Jiang Yi spent fifteen minutes reading carefully, not taking notes because he had everything in his mind.

He realized that his current behavior might be perceived by Yang Yunran as “someone who is homophobic and not honest about himself.”

But for Yang Yunran, there was another addition: “not acceptable.”

He was so anxious about Jiang Yi’s situation!

He enjoyed their date because Jiang Yi was considerate and caring. Even though he might not fully understand the cello, he wouldn’t make pointless or presumptuous comments, but instead listened to Yang Yunran.

A boyfriend who was good at listening and even helped him wash his shoes—on the very day they got back together, Yang Yunran found out it wasn’t acceptable!

Such devastating news!!

Does this mean kissing is also not allowed? No way!

Yang Yunran was so conflicted he couldn’t sleep. He messaged Jiang Yi and found out he was still awake, so he called him on video.

Jiang Yi had just finished showering and was sitting on the bed with his bathrobe slightly open, revealing the contours of his chest. The fabric was soft, emphasizing the powerful lines of his chest muscles. The room was dimly lit, but Jiang Yi’s face had a gentle glow, highlighting his distinct and deep features.

Yang Yunran’s face appeared close-up on Jiang Yi’s phone screen, looking stunning even through the wide-angle lens. He said, “What are you doing, reading literature?”

Jiang Yi glanced at his computer screen. “Watching a movie.” After reading the actors’ self-descriptions, Jiang Yi decided to watch the movie again, just starting it and playing it at three times the speed.

Yang Yunran exclaimed, “Wow, what movie is it? Let me see.”

Jiang Yi brushed it off, saying it wasn’t that good. Yang Yunran insisted, “Let me see, you can’t make me curious and not tell me.”

Jiang Yi aimed his phone camera at the computer screen and showed it to him. “This one, just started.”

Yang Yunran evaluated it for a few seconds. “I haven’t seen this. Why didn’t you watch it at my place? Don’t you want to watch it together with me?”

Jiang Yi evaded his question, saying, “It’s an Italian director’s film.”

Yang Yunran then set up his home projector, searched for the movie, and synced it to the same progress as Jiang Yi. “Alright, let’s watch it together like this.”

The afternoon’s Platonically romantic same-sex movie had relaxed Jiang Yi’s guard. He didn’t expect that within the first twenty minutes of the movie, there would be an intense kissing scene.

On the other end of the headphones, Yang Yunran didn’t say anything, only his breathing could be heard.

From the computer speakers came the amplified sound of the kissing scene, and the visuals of lips entwining suddenly enlarged before Jiang Yi’s eyes. For a moment, Jiang Yi couldn’t distinguish if it was Yang Yunran’s breathing or the sound from the movie.

He adjusted the volume of the computer silently, and Yang Yunran called out Jiang Yi’s name. Jiang Yi responded with a quiet “Hmm.”

Yang Yunran’s voice was gentle. “Which actor do you like more?”

Jiang Yi replied, “I’m face-blind when it comes to Europeans.”

Yang Yunran persisted, “I mean, which one do you find good-looking?”

Jiang Yi quipped, “You’re more good-looking.”

He didn’t particularly like any of the actors. The kissing scene lasted about half a minute, and by the forty-minute mark, there was a bedroom scene. The scenes were tastefully done, but the art-house director excelled at capturing the expressions and body language of the actors during intimate moments, which evoked more imagination and stirred deeper emotions than mere physicality.

Both of them fell silent. Yang Yunran sat on the sofa, hugging his knees. He wasn’t awkward with the movie’s intimacy, but he couldn’t help wondering what Jiang Yi was doing and thinking.

Jiang Yi appeared calm on the surface, but his breathing had become heavier, and his ears were subtly reddened, clearly affected by the scenes.

He couldn’t help but recall Yang Yunran’s hand reaching out in the car, the warmth of his palm, and his lips moving as he spoke.

It was their first day back together, and Jiang Yi felt restless.

In the early hours of the morning, the movie finally ended, and after exchanging good nights, they went to sleep.

Jiang Yi opened his phone and looked at the photos saved on it.

Some were saved from Yang Yunran’s social media, and others were taken that day with his roommate’s camera. Under the sunlight, his eyes were as focused and deep as obsidian, full of affection.

Even that annoying friend of his, Jimmy, said about Yang Yunran, “I know you really like him.”

He had experienced being liked before, but never quite like this.

Jiang Yi rested his hand on his forehead and closed his eyes. Perhaps he wasn’t normal; he found himself wanting to do more intimate things with Yang Yunran.

Maybe the movie had influenced him.

The next morning, Jiang Yi chose to expend his energy with exercise, feeling stiff likely due to insufficient recent physical activity.

He opted for high-intensity training, sweating profusely, then spent some time in the laboratory checking on the status of the mice undergoing biological transplants. Just as he received a call from Yang Yunran, his tone was cheerful. “Hey, are you at your apartment, bro? I’m coming over to see you. I’ll be downstairs in a minute.”

Leaving the lab, Jiang Yi asked, “You’re coming over? How did you get here?”

Yang Yunran replied, “To take you to the institution, of course.”

Jiang Yi: “……”

Jiang Yi: “Are you almost here? Where are you? I’ll come pick you up.”

Yang Yunran: “I’ll be there soon… Uh, hey?”

On the phone, Yang Yunran seemed to meet someone. Then Jiang Yi heard him shout in English, “Jesse? You’re here too… Oh oh oh, forgot, you and Evan live in the same building. Yeah, right, I’m looking for Evan… He’s not back from the lab yet… You said go to your place and hang out for a while?”

“Yang Youran,” Jiang Yi immediately called out, “don’t go to Jesse’s place.”

“……” Yang Yunran was annoyed again, “Why are you using my full name again, Mr. Evan.”

Jiang Yi minded him going to Jesse’s place, checked the time on his watch and said, “Don’t move, I’ll be back at the apartment in half an hour. I’ve told Faisal to come down and pick you up.”

“Haha, okay, I turned down Jesse. Are you jealous? Why are you jealous? Jesse is the blind date you carefully selected for me, brother.”

Jiang Yi said, “I saw him in the lab the day before yesterday, and he’s losing his hair. My inference was correct.”

Hearing Jiang Yi speak calmly like this, Yang Youran doubled over laughing, “Hahaha, you’re so sharp, but why were you at the lab on the weekend?”

“Ken said my mice showed abnormal symptoms and needed me to take a look.”

“What kind of abnormal symptoms?” Yang Youran asked.

Jiang Yi said, “Swelling at the transplant site, slight ulceration, decreased appetite.”

Jiang Yi transplanted an eyeball, couldn’t tell Yang Yunran, but fortunately he wasn’t very concerned about his mice.

Jiang Yi hung up and asked Faisal to help come down and pick him up.

Yang Yunran started messaging him: “Does Faisal not know we’re dating? Have you not told him yet?”

Jiang Yi replied: “It just started yesterday, haven’t told him yet.”

Jiang Yi: “There’s something you like in the fridge, go get it.”

After a while:

Yang Yunran: “What should I do? I’m chatting with him and he seems to think we’re related by blood!”

Jiang Yi: “You need to explain to him, or it’ll be troublesome if he misunderstands. He might think I’m a demon trying to prey on my own little brother.”

“Hahahaha.”

After a while, Yang Youran called: “Okay, finally explained everything. When are you coming back? I miss you so much.”

Jiang Yi, who was handling the mouse corpse, paused. A special emotion surged within him, as if his heart felt tender and a little painful.

In fact, it had only been one night since they last met.

But the three words “me too” felt like a hot potato, Jiang Yi couldn’t say them.

Jiang Yi said: “Are you done chatting with Faisal? You can come to my room.”

Yang Youran: “Can I go to your room when you’re not there?”

“Yes, it’s unlocked,” Jiang Yi replied, removing his rubber gloves, with his phone between his shoulder and ear for disinfection, “I’ll be back soon to see you.”

This was his response to Yang Yunran’s “miss you.”

Yang Yunran’s visits to his room were rare. Jiang Yi’s room was still so tidy, obsessively neat.

The window was clear, overlooking the quiet flow of the deep blue Charles River.

Yang Yunran placed the newly bought flowers on his desk, sat on the sofa by the window, and looked down at the scenery of his room, and his life. Jiang Yi’s life seemed calm as water, evident from his furniture.

IKEA discounted sofa, transparent glass cups, white mugs, beddings in navy blue, shoes, and socks in the simplest styles—these items had a common trait: no patterns, belonging to the cheapest category of goods.

When Yang Yunran couldn’t help but calculate what to buy next, Jimmy’s voice echoed in his mind, shaking his shoulders as he earnestly warned, “Don’t spend money on ‘phoenix men’!!!!”

Yang Yunran wondered, what he should do when he couldn’t resist.

Jiang Yi had gone to the lab in the morning, dressed haphazardly. Upon returning, he tidied up his clothes in the hallway mirror, ran his fingers through his hair to make himself presentable, and then entered the room.

Yang Yunran was curled up on his small couch, tapping away on his laptop.

“You’re back?” Yang Yunran immediately looked up.

Jiang Yi asked, “Working on your homework?”

Yang Yunran nodded. “I’m starting to prepare my thesis.”

Jiang Yi closed the door and handed him the ice cream from the fridge. “Is your master’s program only one year? That’s too short.”

“I’m not in the mood for ice cream, I just ate,” Yang Yunran said.

Jiang Yi noticed the flowers that had appeared in the room. “Did you buy these?”

Yang Yunran nodded. “I felt your life was too plain, and needed a little decoration.”

“Not plain.” How could it be plain when he was dating someone five years younger than him? Jiang Yi asked, “Any plans after graduation? Are you going back to your country?”

“Maybe, haven’t decided yet.” Yang Yunran closed his laptop, looked up, and said, “Are you going back? I don’t want to do a long-distance relationship.”

Jiang Yi said he might return. Many universities had contacted him about becoming a professor, and he had turned them down many times. Yang Yunran visibly relaxed at his words, but then furrowed his brows lightly. Jiang Yi wasn’t sure what he was thinking, why he suddenly seemed unhappy.

“Not happy?” Jiang Yi bent down and smoothed his forehead with his finger. Yang Yunran nodded “hmm” and opened his arms towards him.

It was a gesture asking for a hug. Jiang Yi lowered his head to study his expression and asked, “Why aren’t you happy?” Without much hesitation, he bent down and hugged him. Yang Yunran hugged back politely, but soon wrapped both arms around his waist and back.

Due to Jiang Yi’s bent position, it required a strong core not to fall on him.

Yang Yunran sighed, resting his head on Jiang Yi’s chest, clearly content with his physique. With a voice both distressed and satisfied, he said, “Jiang Yi, don’t go liking someone else.”

“I won’t,” Jiang Yi said, one hand propped against the back of the couch, the other rubbing his hair, not understanding why the child’s emotions, like the recent weather, changed at any moment.

“Really?” Yang Yunran lifted his chin.

“Yeah,” Jiang Yi nodded. He lowered his gaze and saw Yang Yunran’s lips close by, soft and shiny as if coated with lip balm, carrying a lingering scent of ice cream and creaminess. His eyelashes trembled, he averted his gaze, but Yang Yunran pulled him down a bit.

“What’s wrong?” Jiang Yi sensed what he was about to do. In his mind, kissing was something that should happen after dating for at least two months.

Yang Yunran moved closer to his Adam’s apple, his breath becoming warm. “Just a bit lower.”

Jiang Yi complied, his throat tightening. “Are you hungry? I’ll cook something.”

Yang Yunran nodded, his gaze shifting across Jiang Yi’s face. He kissed his chin, noticing his jaw tense instantly, realizing Jiang Yi was resisting even a kiss. Yang Yunran tried not to sigh, encouragingly saying, “We’ll see the doctor this afternoon, it can definitely be cured!”