Chapter 8: The Universe’s Greatest Genius

The first broadcast of Friendship’s Little Boat was undoubtedly a massive success. In just two days, it trended in twenty-eight hot searches, and countless iconic moments were turned into memes by netizens, spreading widely. For example, when Ning Sheng was alone with Ji Jingchuan, she had a deadpan expression, which became the meme [No Haha.jpg]. But as soon as others arrived, she instantly lit up with a big smile—[“Haha.jpg”].

When Ji Jingchuan proudly declared that he had won a swimming competition in elementary school, his puffed-up chest and proud expression were turned into [Accepting Praise.jpg]. Meanwhile, Shang Que, raising an oar as if about to hit him, had the caption: [“If I swing this oar down, you might not survive”]. Other memes included the four contestants tumbling into the water during the rowing competition—[“I’ll go first, goodbye.jpg”], Ji Jingchuan standing on a chair arguing with Shang Que—[“Go three days without a beating, and you’ll climb the roof”]. And then there was Lin Jinyi frantically rolling and crawling out of the frame, with the added text: [“You can’t catch me, I’m a nimble monkey from the mountains”].

Among all these remixes, the most viral was a video clip titled “Fat Ball and Dog Egg.” Netizens added transitions and sound effects, making it even more hilarious.

Comments flooded in:

“I laughed so hard that my grandma thought the rooster was crowing in the yard and went out with a stick.”

“I punched my phone into the wall and watched it for three days straight.”

“Saved it! Next time my friends lose a truth-or-dare game, I’ll make them reenact this.”

“Hahaha, when Ji Jingchuan told Shang Que to ‘glug glug glug, roll down,’ it was comedy gold. If he quits being an idol, he should try stand-up.”

“I can totally picture it—two round, fluffy little bird babies. So cute!”

“Now I’m curious what they looked like as kids.”

“Curious +1 @ShangQueV @JiJingchuanV”

Soon, everyone started tagging the two, eager to see the real faces behind “Fat Ball” and “Dog Egg.”

Shang Que opened her photo album. She had a dedicated folder preserving pictures from childhood to adulthood—some taken with a camera, others scanned and restored from physical copies. She wasn’t actually chubby as a child; she just had soft, round cheeks. But after moving abroad, the Western diet quickly slimmed her down to an oval face. She only had baby fat when she was around four or five years old.

As she scrolled through the timeline, she suddenly came across a group photo. In the picture, she was holding Ji Jingchuan’s hand. Both of them were grinning at the camera, flashing peace signs—so similar that even the curve of their smiles was nearly identical.

A distant memory surfaced.

That year, she was six. Her parents’ already fragile marriage had completely shattered, and they constantly argued at home about divorce. To shield the children from emotional trauma, she and Ji Jingchuan were sent separately to their grandparents’ homes. At the time, Shang Que had sensed that something was wrong, but Ji Jingchuan, still too young, didn’t understand. He only knew that he had been separated from his sister, and he threw tantrums at his grandfather’s house, insisting on going to find her.

At first, no one agreed. Then, in the dead of night at 2 a.m., the three-year-old packed a little backpack and ran away from home. His grandparents were terrified when they found him missing. They checked security cameras and organized a frantic neighborhood search, finally finding the lost Ji Jingchuan wandering around the villa district. In his backpack? An air conditioner remote, a TV remote, and his grandfather’s dentures.

The little boy bared his teeth like a wolf cub, threatening, “If you don’t take me to my sister, next time I’ll steal your walnuts too!” Ji Jingchuan didn’t know why those walnuts were valuable, but his grandfather polished them daily like treasures. Before sneaking out, Ji Jingchuan had tried biting them twice but only ended up nearly chipping his own teeth. In frustration, he put them back—but took the dentures instead.

Hmph! If they wouldn’t let him see Shang Que, then he would be angry!

With a determined look, his tiny face was full of defiance, exuding a “I’ll keep running away unless you send me there” aura. Fearing another midnight escape, his grandparents had no choice but to contact her other set of grandparents. At sunrise, they sent him over.

The moment Ji Jingchuan saw Shang Que, the fierce little tyrant who had been wreaking havoc instantly switched gears. His lips trembled, tears welling up as he sobbed, “Sister, they bullied me. They wouldn’t let me come find you!”

Unfair! Who was bullying whom? This brat had turned the house upside down! His poor grandpa’s old bones were nearly broken from exhaustion!

But Ji Jingchuan cried so miserably, as if he had suffered unspeakable injustice. Shang Que believed him without question, pursing her lips and glaring at their grandparents in indignation. Even her grandmother and grandfather scolded, “If he wanted to come, just let him. What were you thinking?” Then they comforted him, “Don’t cry, Chuan Chuan. Grandpa bought a new camera. How about we take a picture with your sister?”

At the mention of taking a photo with Shang Que, Ji Jingchuan’s tears vanished instantly. He switched moods in a second, grinning widely at the camera.

Shang Que only later learned the full story from her grandfather’s exasperated retelling. At the time, Ji Jingchuan hadn’t even realized he was in the wrong. Instead, he had righteously declared, “It’s your fault for not letting me see my sister.”

Remembering this, Shang Que couldn’t help but smile.

Ji Jingchuan was much cuter as a child.

She cropped the photo, posting only her side on Weibo.

[@ShangQueV: Who is this? [Image]]

Comments flooded in:

“Ahhh! It’s my adorable little bird baby! @ShangQueV”

“The government is encouraging childbirth? I just want this one!”

“Alright, baby, say goodbye to your mom now. [Pink sack.gif]”

“Whoever called Shang Que a ‘Fat Ball’ deserves punishment—she’s obviously a princess!”

“Wait, this background looks really familiar. Isn’t it similar to the one in Ji Jingchuan’s post?”

“Now that you mention it… The pose is identical.”

“Can we not bring up a certain someone? A peace sign is just a basic pose. Nothing special about it.”

Shang Que frowned slightly and clicked on Ji Jingchuan’s profile. His post had gone up almost simultaneously with hers. It was the same photo, but he had posted his half instead. However, since he had simply taken a picture of the physical photo with his phone, the background appeared a bit blurry and yellowed. At first glance, it didn’t look like the same one—except for the faintly recognizable outlines of the buildings.

The discussion was soon drowned out by waves of “So cute!” comments, and Shang Que didn’t dwell on it further.

Monday. In the office, Fu Xingzhi arrived with a stack of scripts, ready to discuss her next project.

The female lead, Ning Sheng, suffered three consecutive drama flops due to her company’s mismanagement. However, instead of helping her transition to a different career path, Le Yu continued to exploit her, forcing her to play supporting roles for newcomers.

Realizing that if this continued, her career would be completely ruined, Ning Sheng took the initiative to audition for roles. Eventually, she made an unexpected comeback through a serious drama that no one had high hopes for, skyrocketing in popularity and winning the Best Actress award.

Shang Que pulled out the document from the very bottom of the stack. Flipping it open, she saw that the name and plot matched perfectly.

Only then did Fu Xingzhi notice it. He objectively commented, “It’s a decent script, but the character is quite challenging to portray. Plus, the director isn’t very well-known, and the investment is low. Do you want to take it?”

“No, it’s not suitable for me.”

At this point, Shang Que no longer doubted the authenticity of that fanfiction. However, she had no intention of using her knowledge of the plot to seize opportunities that weren’t meant for her. This was Ning Sheng’s fate, and in the future, she would have her own.

Besides, many things in life could change drastically with just a different person, time, or place.

So, since her presence had already disrupted the flow of the variety show, Ji Jingchuan’s ending would likely be different as well, right?

Just then, Fu Xingzhi suddenly remembered something. “Oh, by the way, I had a technician check your phone. There were no signs of hacking, so you don’t have to worry about your money being stolen. Based on your app usage history, you were on Weibo the whole time and didn’t navigate to any other sites.”

He hesitated for a moment before gently suggesting, “Falling Petals in the Wind is currently airing. There’s no rush for you to start filming a new project right away, and you can take your time choosing a script. If the pressure is too much, I can arrange for you to see a doctor. I have a friend who’s an expert in this field.”

Shang Que wasn’t surprised by these findings. Instead, she was touched. “Fu Ge, you’re really good to me, even worrying about my mental health.”

Unlike the anonymous users in the Q&A forums, who all claimed that her phone got infected because she was reading too much smut.

---

Perhaps it was because of her lingering thoughts that night, but Shang Que suddenly had a dream.

In the boundless darkness, as deep as ink, Ji Jingchuan lay in a pool of blood. His once bright and arrogant peach-blossom eyes were now wide open in pain, filled with anger and unwillingness. He opened his mouth as if trying to say something, but all that came out were ragged breaths.

Blood continued to flow from his body, his pupils gradually dilating. He struggled to lift his hand but suddenly froze, then let it fall weakly onto his chest. Beneath his palm, the blood-soaked fabric revealed the faint outline of a photograph.

Shang Que jolted awake, her heart pounding like a drum in the silent night. She reached for the bedside lamp, turned it on, and took two big gulps of water.

That dream had been too real, as if Ji Jingchuan had actually died right in front of her.

Cold sweat trickled down her forehead, and the fear in her heart refused to subside.

Taking a deep breath, Shang Que grabbed her phone from the nightstand.

2:24 AM.

She unlocked the screen and opened WeChat. In the friend request section, there was a red notification with the number 1.

She tapped it open. The request came from a profile picture of a little green dinosaur, with the username: “The Universe’s Greatest Genius.”

Just from that familiar style, she didn’t even need to guess who it was. The person had even helpfully added a note: “It’s me, Ji Jingchuan! Shang Que!! Hurry up and add me!!!”

Looking at the message filled with exclamation marks, Shang Que could practically hear his voice in her head—loud, impatient, and full of energy.

Somehow, the emptiness and fear she had felt earlier seemed to dissipate. After a moment of thought, she accepted his friend request.

Then, she got out of bed, tossing aside the blanket as she walked toward the kitchen. For some reason, she suddenly felt the urge to eat something.

There were noodles and eggs in the fridge. The noodles were bought the day before, and the eggs… well, she had accidentally lined up in the wrong queue at the supermarket while handling some paperwork at the property management office. She ended up standing with a group of elderly folks collecting free eggs and walked away with twenty. She hadn’t even used them up yet.

Just as she was preparing to cook, her phone started vibrating repeatedly in her pocket. Frowning, Shang Que took it out and saw that Ji Jingchuan had bombarded her with WeChat messages.

[The Universe’s Greatest Genius]: Ha! Wait a minute—

[The Universe’s Greatest Genius]: If you weren’t going to add me, why did you accept my request? Admit it, you’re captivated by my charm!

[The Universe’s Greatest Genius]: No, hold on. Why aren’t you asleep yet?

[The Universe’s Greatest Genius]: Why did you block me from seeing your Moments? I never blocked you! Unlock it! Unlock it now!

[The Universe’s Greatest Genius]: Where are you? Shang Que? Shang Que?? SHANG QUE??

[Shang Que]: Shut up.

[The Universe’s Greatest Genius]: Mo——ments——

[The Universe’s Greatest Genius]: We’re supposed to at least pretend to be friends for the variety show. Moments are for friends, right? So unlock it!

[The Universe’s Greatest Genius]: SHANG QUE SHANG QUE SHANG QUE! What are you doing?!

Shang Que suddenly regretted accepting his friend request. Just one Ji Jingchuan was louder than all her other WeChat contacts combined. She clicked on his profile, hovered over the “Delete Friend” button for a second, then ultimately sighed and unlocked his access to her Moments.

[Shang Que]: Unlocked. Don’t bother me—I’m cooking noodles.

[The Universe’s Greatest Genius]: Why are you eating noodles at this hour? Wait, do you even know how to cook noodles?

[The Universe’s Greatest Genius]: What the hell is that black mess in your Moments? Dry-fried seaweed?!

What dry-fried seaweed?! That was her failed attempt at cooking noodles—too little water, too much soy sauce.

Shang Que was both embarrassed and annoyed.

[Shang Que]: Keep talking, and I’ll block you.

Ji Jingchuan finally shut up.

A few minutes later, however, her phone vibrated again.

[The Universe’s Greatest Genius]: Found an old video of me cooking noodles in the morning. Let me show you what true genius looks like.

He sent over a video. Shang Que, still waiting for the water to boil, clicked on it.

In the video, Ji Jingchuan, dressed in dinosaur pajamas, carefully explained the cooking process, detailing every step—from boiling an egg to adding just the right amount of salt and water.

The video was seven minutes long. Just as she was finishing it, the water on the stove had come to a full boil.

But suddenly, the whole process seemed too troublesome.

She wasn’t hungry anymore.

[The Universe’s Greatest Genius]: Did you finish cooking? You’ve been quiet for a while. Did the oil catch fire? Did you burn yourself? Did your kitchen explode? Were you abducted by aliens??

[Shang Que]: Not hungry anymore. Going to bed.

[The Universe’s Greatest Genius]: ??? Was the tutorial not detailed enough? You’re hopeless.

After a short pause, he sent another message.

[The Universe’s Greatest Genius]: Which part did you get stuck on?

[Shang Que]: I just don’t want to eat anymore!!! I’m going to sleep!!!

If you want to eat so badly, you eat!

Ji Jingchuan stood in his kitchen, still in his dinosaur pajamas, staring at the freshly cooked bowl of noodles in front of him. His grip on the spatula tightened in frustration.

Shang Que was too much! He would never be nice to her again!

Furiously, he typed out his message.

[The Universe’s Greatest Genius]: FINE. Then just sleep!!! GOOD NIGHT!!!