When Cen Zhisen said “Happy Birthday,” Ning Zhiyuan was truly stunned. He heard the sound of his own heart pounding, and it took a while before he gradually snapped back to reality in Cen Zhisen’s smile. “You remember?”

As soon as the question left his mouth, he immediately realized how foolish it was. Today was the anniversary of Cen Zhisen’s mother’s death; how could he not remember?

The smile at the corner of Cen Zhisen’s mouth faded a bit as he replied, “Sorry, I’ve always overlooked it before.”

For so many years, both he and others in the family only remembered today as the anniversary of his mother’s death. No one had realized that today was also Ning Zhiyuan’s birthday.

Neglected, overlooked, and accused of being the cause of his mother’s death—Ning Zhiyuan shouldn’t have had to bear these baseless accusations, especially since he was not at fault. He was just an unfortunate guy who missed out on maternal love for over twenty years because he happened to be brought into their family. He shouldn’t have to endure all this.

The words Ning Zhiyuan spoke that night, leaning against a tree trunk and complaining as if venting his grievances, were repeatedly recalled by Cen Zhisen. He wasn’t unaware of Ning Zhiyuan’s hardships, but back then, he was just a few years older than Ning Zhiyuan and couldn’t change the attitudes and opinions of the elders. He had always believed that being tolerant and accommodating toward Ning Zhiyuan was enough, but in reality, it was far from sufficient.

Clearly, most of the responsibility was on him, yet he blamed Ning Zhiyuan for being unlikeable and having a bad personality. This is why their brotherly relationship became so distant.

He was never a good brother.

Unexpectedly, he said, “Sorry.”

 Ning Zhiyuan was surprised. “You’re apologizing to me?”

Cen Zhisen looked at him seriously and said, “Yes, I’m apologizing to you.”

Ning Zhiyuan replied, “… Forget it, it’s all in the past.”

“Hmm,” Cen Zhisen turned and took a cake box from the back seat, placing it on the armrest. “Birthday cake, want some?”

Ning Zhiyuan just noticed the cake and smiled, “Actually, I was supposed to go to the Ning family for lunch tomorrow. They said they’d celebrate my birthday, but you beat them to it.”

He suddenly felt like sharing something he didn’t plan to talk about.

“I didn’t consider that. How about I reschedule the lunch to the evening, and you go home for lunch at noon?” Cen Zhisen suggested.

“Forget it. If we want someone to foot the bill, we should show some sincerity. We can’t keep changing plans based on our whims,” Ning Zhiyuan shook his head. “Before leaving, I called them and said I’d come in the evening. Actually, Ning Zhe will be home in the evening. They were worried I’d feel uncomfortable, but I told them I don’t mind at all. By the way, aren’t you going to pay respects to your mom tomorrow? Will you make it in time?”

“I’ll go later in the day,” Cen Zhisen said. “Dad will take Ning Zhe in the morning.”

Ning Zhiyuan suggested, “I’ll go with you. After having lunch with your old classmates, we can go straight there.”

Cen Zhisen asked, “Are you willing?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Ning Zhiyuan calmly said. “I’m not as petty as you think. I’ve treated your mom as my own for over twenty years. Just because someone says it’s not true doesn’t make it so.”

Cen Zhisen nodded, “Cake?”

Ning Zhiyuan scoffed, “Do we need a candle and a wish?”

“Sure.” Cen Zhisen unwrapped the cake, took out a candle – a small, golden, five-pointed star-shaped sparkler – and handed it to him.

When he took it, Ning Zhiyuan caught a glimpse of the lighter in Cen Zhisen’s hand, and his gaze paused.

A silver naked man-shaped lighter, exquisite and peculiar. Holding it while lighting a cigarette seemed to showcase a certain blatant desire.

“Do you always use this kind of lighter? People might think you’re not serious,” Ning Zhiyuan teased, inserting the sparkler into the cake.

Cen Zhisen rubbed the outer casing of the lighter, once again saying, “Not serious.” When Ning Zhiyuan mentioned those two words with a rising intonation, it sounded particularly different.

“I don’t use this in public,” he smiled and handed the lighter to Ning Zhiyuan. “Want to light it yourself?”

Ning Zhiyuan took it, feeling the warmth of the metal casing, still retaining the warmth from Cen Zhisen’s palm.

He examined the lighter, confirming that it was indeed a naked man. The craftsmanship was delicate and exquisite, with smooth muscle lines, perfect proportions adhering to the golden ratio. Every detail on the body was meticulously carved, including the intimate areas, sensual yet not explicit.

Only the facial features were blurred, adding a touch of mystery.

Ning Zhiyuan also rubbed the area Cen Zhisen had touched earlier, opened the lid, and ignited a flame.

Starting from the tip of the star-shaped candle, sparkling fireworks burst open, spreading on both sides like the dazzling ones they used to play with during their childhood.

In Ning Zhiyuan’s childhood memories, those were some of the rare happy times.

In the glow of the flames, Ning Zhiyuan looked into Cen Zhisen’s eyes, a smile on his face, similar to the expression Cen Zhisen had when he was caressing the lighter’s casing earlier.

“Make a wish,” Cen Zhisen reminded him.

Ning Zhiyuan lowered his gaze, looking at the still-burning candle, and heard the voice in his heart say, “Just like this.”

Just like this, this is good.

Cen Zhisen didn’t ask what wish he made. After the candle burned out, they cut the cake, each having a piece.

The sweet taste stimulated their taste buds. Ning Zhiyuan licked his lips, continued to play with the lighter in his hand, and shifted his gaze back to Cen Zhisen. “Can I have this lighter as a gift?”

“Do you want it?” Cen Zhisen leaned against the steering wheel with one hand, “I’ve been using this lighter for many years. It was a limited edition souvenir given to me when I was studying in Prague, a local hotel opening, only a hundred pieces in total, and it’s long been discontinued.”

He chuckled, “It’s not expensive, but it’s quite special. When you see this lighter, what comes to your mind?”

Ning Zhiyuan tilted his head and thought for a moment, “And you?”

“Cigarettes, sex, or let’s say, desire,” Cen Zhisen’s voice still carried a smile, not frivolous, as he naturally spoke these words.

Ning Zhiyuan’s movement of playing with the lighter stopped, and he glanced over, revealing a subtle emotion at the slight upward turn of his eyes.

Cen Zhisen continued, “Whether it’s cigarettes, alcohol, or sex, they are just shallow desires on a physiological level, easily controllable and not addictive. However, many people who are addicted to these things are because some treat them as enhancers, while others see them as a lifeline. What about you? Are you the former or the latter?”

In the not-so-spacious car interior, with only an armrest between them, they chatted casually. Cen Zhisen’s voice was like a murmur near Ning Zhiyuan’s ear.

Ning Zhiyuan flicked the lighter again, and the flame rose. He stared at the cluster of flames, slowly saying, “Never thought about it.”

“Alright, let’s pretend I didn’t ask,” Cen Zhisen stared at his actions. “Consider the lighter a gift for your birthday.”

Ning Zhiyuan raised his eyes, looked into his gaze, and nodded, “Thank you.”

It was already 1 a.m. The unfinished cake was packed back into the box, and neither of them mentioned taking it back. The car remained parked by the quiet lake in the cold night. In this narrow compartment, they continued to chat, exchanging words without much meaning.

Cen Zhisen talked about some of his experiences when he was studying in the UK. Ning Zhiyuan quietly listened, although he already knew a lot. Despite being in the US while Cen Zhisen was in the UK, he always paid attention to every move Cen Zhisen made, finding a way to know what was happening.

When they first went abroad to study, one was ten years old, and the other was fourteen. Both were quite young. Cen Shengli initially wanted to send them to the same country, but Ning Zhiyuan didn’t want to go with Cen Zhisen. He chose to go to the United States by himself.

Not fond of this person but unable to resist peeking at him, Ning Zhiyuan always knew that his mindset was twisted and paranoid, but he couldn’t change it.

“Do you remember one year when Dad and I went to see you? You were quite happy when you first saw us, but then, for some reason, you started giving me the cold shoulder, urging me to leave. I still haven’t figured out the reason.” Cen Zhisen suddenly said.

Ning Zhiyuan turned his head to look at him, “Do you want to know?”

Cen Zhisen asked, “Can you tell me?”

Ning Zhiyuan chuckled lightly; of course, he remembered and had a deep impression.

At that time, he was fifteen or sixteen years old, in high school. There were always some trashy people in school who had biases against Asians and bothered him. The time Cen Zhisen came to pick him up after school, he happened to witness it, intervened, and taught those people a lesson. After that, those people didn’t confront him directly, but behind his back, they spread rumors about him, saying he was gay and could easily open his legs for men. They also claimed that Cen Zhisen had an improper relationship with him.

So, he redirected his anger towards Cen Zhisen, almost irrationally drove him away. After that, for almost two years, he didn’t see Cen Zhisen.

Ning Zhiyuan, leaning back in his seat, looked somewhat relaxed. The hand in his pocket slowly rubbed the outer shell of the lighter again, and his voice was very soft, “It’s nothing, just classmates spreading rumors and talking behind my back. They said I had an improper relationship with you, that we were bed-sharing improper brothers.”

Cen Zhisen was initially surprised, his eyes slightly flickering, “Is that so?”

“Yeah,” Ning Zhiyuan lazily nodded, staring at Cen Zhisen’s eyes close by, “I vented my anger on you. I’ll apologize to you now. I’m sorry.”

There was a moment when the air between them seemed to freeze for a second, and no one spoke.

Cen Zhisen lowered his eyes, smiled, and said, “Forget it.”

Ning Zhiyuan fell asleep afterward, perhaps dreaming. In the dream, he was still a fifteen or sixteen-year-old high school student. Those blurry and ferocious faces surrounded him, saying nasty things, and then Cen Zhisen appeared, standing in front of him, pushing the people away.

He had been watching the back of that person from a young age until now.

When he woke up, it was already dawn, and he was alone in the car.

Ning Zhiyuan sat up, twisted his slightly sore neck, and saw Cen Zhisen sitting on the hood of the car, looking ahead.

He stared at the person’s broad back wrapped in a gray coat for a moment, pushed open the car door, and got out.

Cen Zhisen heard the movement and turned back, smiling at him, “Zhiyuan, let’s watch the sunrise.”

Ning Zhiyuan looked up, and on the lake in front, there was a vast expanse of crimson dawn, with the outline of the rising sun just appearing.

The sun was about to rise, and the day was breaking.